Page 6

6

HEIDI

I t takes me a long time to process that I am, in fact, in Emmett Gardner’s house.

In fact, I’m naked in Emmett Gardner’s house. But it’s not the kind of naked I one time daydreamed of.

Emmett’s bathroom is huge. Although his house is a little more understated than I thought a professional football player’s house would be, it’s still big, and it’s still pretty lavish.

But it’s also very clearly the house of a man. No character, no frills, just the basics. If it weren’t for the occasional toy laying around, I would think it was just him here.

The bathroom is no exception. Emmett has three bathrooms in his house. The main one is more of a powder room, so he insisted that I use his personal bathroom with his giant, fancy shower I spent five years trying to figure out how to turn on.

It aged me.

Which is how I found myself sitting naked in Emmett Gardner’s shower, my legs pulled into me and my chin resting gently on my arm draped over my knees.

What a god damn place to be.

I love photography. I’ve loved it since the first moment I stepped into a dark room as a kid. Watching the photos be developed before my eyes felt like magic, and I threw myself into studying some of the most amazing, talented photographers out there.

I loved it so much growing up, and when I finally saved up enough to buy my first camera, I thought that I was really going to be someone.

I never became that person. Instead, I decided to get a job with a company who photographed weddings. I’ve always loved love, and nothing could go wrong, right?

Wrong. A lot, in fact, could go wrong.

So much so, actually, that I ended up quitting after my boss got borderline abusive. It felt great not to be working eighty-hour work weeks anymore in order to get photographs edited and out by the time people wanted them, but I won’t lie and say that I didn’t miss the process.

It was familiar to me.

But then I went off on my own, and although I had a solid portfolio and so many amazing people who recommended me, it never felt the same. I felt like someone stripped my love of it away, and it truly did leave a bit of a gaping hole in my chest.

I think back to the Tower tarot card I pulled the other night and groan. My camera breaking was surly a sign to hang it up. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.

I mean, I can’t just take a job working for Emmett, can I? The man doesn’t even like me at a basic, friend level.

He’s quiet. He doesn’t really show emotion.

I’m not quiet. I show all the emotion. In fact, I can be known to cry at literally anything.

But then again, I did love nannying. It’s the only other job that I’ve had where I didn’t envision myself quitting every two seconds.

And I do love his daughter. Plus, Elara should still be friends with Juniper, right? So maybe I’d see her occasionally, too.

The war continues on in my head.

I’m in the middle of thinking about selling my bath water when there’s a knock on the door, making me jump out of my skin. “I’ll be out in a second!” I call, standing up quickly.

I look around the shower for the first time, noticing that there’s only a two-in-one shampoo in the corner, a blue bath pouf, and some body wash. I eye the two-in-one, trying to weigh my options.

In no world would I ever willingly use two-in-one. But on the other hand, my hair feels absolutely disgusting after the kind of humidity we had today, and it’s matted to my skin.

Sucking it up, I wash my hair quickly, coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to feel so gross when it dries, and I climb out, wrapping his ginormous, fluffy towel around me.

I peek my head out the door in order to make sure there’s no one in his room before exiting the bathroom, and just as I’m about to panic about what to do about my clothes, I see a fresh pair of sweatpants and a hoodie laying out on his bed.

I don’t really have any other choice, so I pull on the sweats and tie them off. They feel a million sizes too big, which isn’t surprising considering the sheer size of that man’s thighs, and the sweatshirt is big enough to swim in. But for some reason that feels comforting right now.

Counting to ten, I finally force myself to leave the room, making my way back to the kitchen where I find Emmett at the kitchen island with two mugs. He’s on his laptop, and I can tell that he also had a shower, most likely using the one in Juniper’s room. His lighter, dirty-blonde hair is ruffled and wet, and although he’s also wearing sweats and a sweatshirt, there’s drips of water all over them, as if the man just shook his hair off.

“Hey,” I say, and his eyes shoot up.

“Hey. I uh,” he starts, grabbing one of the mugs. “I made some coffee for you.” He slides it across the island, and I happily take it, loving the way the warmth feels against my skin.

Maryland can feel like the devil’s ass in the summer, but there’s something about the coziness of all of this, even if I’m practically burning up, that I just really can’t help but love.

Emmett takes a sip of his own coffee and gestures to the other chair. I take a seat, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Are you okay if we talk about the nannying position?” he asks.

Worrying my bottom lip, I think about whether I really want to do this. Although I don’t really have any other choice, something in me is telling me no. But I also know that that thing in me is my self-preservation, and that I really, really need this job, even if I’m royally fucked no matter what.

I can feel Emmett’s gaze in my bones as I study the mug in my hands: A simple blue stoneware piece he probably got from Target as a matching set.

Would he even shop at Target? I’m not sure. On one hand I could see him wandering the aisles, and on the other I don’t think he’d be caught de?—

Emmett clears his throat.

“Fine,” I say quickly, not giving my brain a single other second to think about it all.

He nods. “I’ll be training every day. Gone pretty early in the morning, coming home early afternoon. I mainly need you to take her to school and bring her home. I assume,” he cocks his head, “that you don’t live super close to the house, so I’m fine if you stay here during the day and do any work that you need, or just hang out.”

I nod as he talks, watching the way his blue eyes look down at his own cup whenever he talks about his job, his fingers growing tighter around the handle.

Emmett loves his job. If there’s one thing I know about the guy, it’s that he loves football more than he loves just about anything else. Most of those guys do, even if I don’t quite understand it. But I can say with certainty that he’s ashamed of not being there for his daughter more.

He’s a single dad, I have to remind myself. Of course he’s going to hate leaving his kid with strangers so much.

Sure, there’s Briar. But I watched Elara for quite a long time. I love the girl, but she’s a handful. I can’t imagine how having both of them all the time must feel.

Speaking of— “Elara is allowed to come over, but you need to let Briar know, and you need to watch those girls like a hawks,” Emmett tells me, holding my eyes. I nod, and Emmett shakes his head. “I know you have history with Elara, but these girls have become,” he thinks for a second. “Insane. They’ve gone insane. You need to make sure they’re not bringing deer or some shit into the house, okay? I don’t get mad very easily but if I come home to find a god damn deer in my home I may just lose it.”

I fight back a smile. “I think this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk other than that night,” I blurt before I can stop myself.

Emmett’s face instantly reddens, and I suddenly feel embarrassed. I should never have said that. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly, looking down.

When I finally look back up, Emmett is examining his cup. “Juniper hasn’t had a mom, well, ever really. She wasn’t old enough to remember her. I just want to make sure she has everything she needs while growing up.”

We fall into a surprisingly comfortable silence. So much so that when the front door opens, we both jump.

“Heidi!” Juniper yells as she runs through. Her whole face lights up with the biggest smile as she rushes me, her arms outstretched. I watch as the door closes behind her, Briar’s car pulling out of the driveway.

“Hey, Juni!” I smile, wrapping my arms around her little body.

“What are you doing here?” Juniper looks at her dad.

Emmett stands against the counter, propped against it at the hip, his arms crossed over his solid chest. “She’s going to be helping out a little here,” he says with a small smile.

“There’s just one more thing we need to discuss,” I tell him quietly.

“Am I going to see you all the time?” Juni pulls at my arm.

“That really depends on your dad!” I tell her with a smile as she spins.

Meeting Emmett’s eyes, I smile. I can feel his intensity from across the room. I can feel his discomfort. I just want him to know he’s made the right decision and that he can trust me.

“I just need to figure out the car situation,” I remind him.

Pushing off the counter, Emmett pulls open a drawer on the other side of the island, and within a split second an object is tossed to me. I barely catch it between my hands.

A key.

“In the garage,” he tells me with the smallest hint of a smile. “I told you I’d take care of it.”