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HEIDI

“ H ave you swiped right on literally one single person?” Amara asks as she looks over my shoulder.

I show her my matches, which in fact, are zero. “There was one guy, but I don’t think we matched.” I sigh, inspecting my bracelet. “But truthfully I only did it because his cat was cute.”

Amara snorts. “I’m sure he’s swiping for the promise of cat too, it’s okay.”

“Amara!”

“What? I’m telling the truth. Men just want sex. It’s just a fact of life.”

I get why she thinks so, but it’s not every man. Some men are too fucking hard headed to let a single person in.

But I also feel terrible for thinking it. The man lost his wife. There’s trauma that comes with that. I get it. I understand it to an extent.

Healing isn’t linear and there’s no real timeframe. But I was really hopeful that night on the beach, and even after being ghosted, I thought that him hiring me and wanting to spend even a little time with me was a good sign.

We haven’t gone for a run in months. It was a short lived activity, but I loved it while it happened.

“Can I have it?” Amara asks, her hand grabbing for my phone.

I hand it over to her but stay close. She’s known for swiping on just anyone.

“Have you seen anyone you know?” she peeks at me from the corner of her eye.

“I saw Cooper.” Her scroll pauses, her finger hovering just over the screen.

“That’s interesting,” she says through nearly gritted teeth, continuing her scroll.

“What’s with you two anyway?” I readjust myself on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me.

She waves me off, instead placing her head in my lap. I run my fingers through her thick hair, zoning out. She swipes right on a couple of people, and when there’s finally a match, she holds up the phone to show me.

“He’s not that bad,” I say quietly, taking it from her. I swipe through his profile.

He likes pizza. Okay, well that’s not really anything unique. I feel like eighty percent of the men I’ve seen have something about pizza in their bio, which is a little weird.

He has a cute dog. A small white thing.

The man has a few tattoos on his arms and one of those mustaches that are really in right now. “What should I say to him?”

“Try ‘Hi, my name is Heidi and I’m trying to get over emotionally unavailable men by getting under you.’ ”

“Amara!”

She shrugs, her shoulders shimmying as she gets comfortable against me again. Her eyes shut and she smiles. “I’m just telling the truth. You need to get over him.”

I’ve been over him…

Is what I tell myself.

“What did the cards tell you?”

I grunt, wanting to talk about anything other than the cards.

Amara looks like she’s about to argue when the door opens and Mila walks through, her arms weighed down by bags. “M, what did her cards say?”

“Amara!” I softly hit her arm.

Mila doesn’t miss a beat. “She was going on and on about pulling the three of swords and the ace of cups last night.”

Amara looks between us. “What does that mean?”

“It can mean a million different things.” I hit my head against the back of the couch. “None of which really help me.”

“Did you ask about Emmett in particular?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You know I have a rule against that.” In my belief that no one should be forced into any belief, I don’t do readings without someone’s permission. I can ask questions about myself and my own life all day and night, but I’m not going to dive into Emmett’s life without him knowing or consenting.

Because more often than not, I’m right.

Unfortunately this has been learned through experience. Whether it was my high school boyfriend I had for a month cheating on me or learning about my shitty boss’s affair before it came out a couple months later at my first big girl job, taking a peek at people’s lives isn’t something I wish to continue.

Because what if I learned something heart breaking? What if I learned that he’s literally never going to settle down? I’d much rather assume and just simply move on with my life myself.

Ding!

The notification scares me, sending the phone nearly flying out of my hands and into Amara’s face.

“He sent you a message?” Her eyes are wide as she grabs for the device, turning it toward her in my hands.

Connor

“You look cold, let me warm you up.”

Amara is silent, processing it. After a moment, she finally says, “That’s the dumbest line I’ve ever heard.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I am a little cold.”

“Bitch no you’re not. You were just complaining about it being weirdly hot in here.”

Ignoring her, I start to respond.

You may be right. What do you suggest?

The three dots appear instantly and I can feel my heart pound.

I haven’t flirted with anyone but Emmett in a long time.

A nice drink to warm you up, and a nice, heavy blanket.

You have all those things?

I may.

I’m intrigued.

Is this a date?

I think it may have to be. When and where?

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Amara rolls her eyes.

I gasp. “You were the one pushing me to! Literally my number one cheerleader.”

“Yeah for a guy who can form better pickup lines.”

How about coffee tomorrow?

Tomorrow is Saturday, and I don’t have work or anything.

I can do that.

Then it’s a date.

“I just think that the Cobras need new management,” he tells me, setting the mug of coffee on the table between us.

I tilt my head, my restless leg syndrome acting up. “Didn’t they just win the Super Bowl?”

He shakes his head. “Yes, but they shouldn’t have. Leo is terrible since his injury and the defense is absolute shit.”

“I feel like they’re pretty good,” I defend before he can say anything else.

Connor shoots me a patronizing look, sitting crooked in his seat. “How much football do you watch?”

I debate being honest. Telling him that I actually have watched every single game this season, and spent every home game in the Warner suite.

But I don’t do that. Because that would instantly make him treat me differently, and I don’t want him to respect me because of who I know, I want him to respect me because of who I am.

“I watch some,” I say instead.

He smiles like he just won the lottery. “I’d love to take you to a game. I have these really great 5oo seats. Right in the front row. You see everything.”

My leg bobs faster.

“I think I’m actually set on that, but thank you,” I reply with a shy smile.

“You gotta,” he spreads his arms out, a sly smirk creeping across his lips.

I think about it for a moment. “I actually nanny for a football player, and I get some perks from it.” Although my tickets aren’t free, Leo or Emmett have always paid for them.

Connor’s eyes light up, his fluffy blonde hair bouncing as he rears back. “And you didn’t start with that? That’s amazing!”

I shyly tuck my hands between my thighs, leaning forward. I want to be anywhere but here. “Yeah, it’s pretty nice.”

“I’d love to meet them.” There it is.

Other than this unfortunate line of conversation, the date has been okay. Not great, but just okay. I don’t really think we have much in common other than football, apparently, and he’s made it clear he knows more than I do.

But he’s talked a lot about his parents, his grandmother he’s going to visit after this, and his small dog he kept from his last relationship, although I start suspecting it was more to do with making his ex upset than actually wanting the dog.

“Maybe.” I flash him a polite smile before checking my phone.

The problem is, I’m not made for dating. Not really. Like a lot of people in their late twenties, dating is tedious, annoying, and just overall the absolute worst thing in the world.

I don’t want to go on coffee date after coffee date. I don’t want to know why you named your dog Princess, or what your favorite color is, or what size shoe you wear—which is an actual topic that came up today. I want to know why you are the way you are and what you believe in. The crazy dreams you had as a kid and what they mean to you now.

But you don’t get to those bits unless you get past these awkward moments. The things you really don’t want to deal with.

Unless it’s Emmett Gardner.