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N one of us wanted to spend any more time in The Stone Palace than we needed to. I wanted to return to Siraleth. To the grimoire safely tucked away in the cottage underground.
I knew I had responsibilities… but I wanted to return home .
I could rule the realm as queen easily enough from Siraleth. There was no reason for me to remain in Akra after we buried the dead and had a ceremony to honor their memories.
There weren’t many soldiers who did not sway to our side, many of them having been forced into service by Donika.
They had been threatened and tortured, the same as every other Shade in Istmere.
For those that were loyal to Donika and couldn’t be swayed, they found a home in the prison cells of the Stormvault.
Donika’s death and the return of my crown was a weight that had been lifted off my shoulders, and I imagined much of the realm felt the same. But before we could move on officially and begin anew, I knew we needed to honor those that had fallen in battle.
Peace had been restored to Istmere, and Stormshades, Nightshades, and Shades alike would be welcome and could call this realm home. No one would be persecuted for the type of magic they were born with.
No one needed to hide any longer.
But make no mistake, the happy ending we all deeply craved came at a steep cost. I had sacrificed so much to see an end to Donika’s reign.
I knew that there was no other ending than Donika dying at the end of my blade, but it still left behind a heavy weight that I couldn’t shake.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the what-ifs and could-have-beens if things had been different in Istmere during our childhood.
If Annelise was never called to be the royal healer and had stayed to raise Donika herself.
Donika might have been evil, but she was still my sister.
My blood.
I was mourning the relationship we never got to have, and I’m sure Annelise felt the same way. If Alastir hadn’t been able to craft a spell to save Annelise and Zion, they would have been lost to this war, too.
Alastir had said there would be a cost to the spell that cured Nikolai and returned his humanity. I would never know if that cost was almost losing Annelise and Zion, or if the consequences of that magic were yet to come.
Isaac never got to see the end of this war, and the thought was a lead weight in my gut. Tyr, too. So many had died and sacrificed their own lives for a better realm, for a better future.
The mood was solemn as I led the resistance through the plains before the castle in Akra, my friends and family following closely on my heels.
I wore a white sundress that fell to right above my ankles, the customary color for Shade burials.
Today, all the Shades lost in this battle would return to the earth from which they came, their magic returning to the source and the Mother.
I wasn’t sure what came after this, but I prayed they found peace.
We had chosen a spot between the castle and the forest to bury them, and it was quite the undertaking.
We used our magic to dig the graves, but it still took the better part of the day to complete.
By the time we had buried every single fallen Shade, we were utterly exhausted, our faces dripping with sweat and covered in dirt.
I gazed across the burial ground before approaching the hill to our right, the vast expanse of dug up earth unsettling me.
There had been so many casualties in this battle.
So many dead.
The sheer amount of graves we had dug today had gooseflesh breaking out across my skin, my tongue thick in my throat.
I stood atop the hill and clasped my hands together behind my back, clearing my throat before speaking. I knew my voice would be thick with emotion, but this would be my first time addressing the residents of Istmere as their queen, and I wanted to appear strong .
The Shades before me turned towards me, murmuring among themselves, their brows drawn.
They carried the same heaviness in their chests, the gravity of the situation weighing on them.
While Istmere would see a new dawn, there were far too many that died here and would never get to see it for themselves.
“I wanted to thank you all for coming here today, to honor those that have fallen during the battle here in Akra. While we may be victorious, it did not come without cost. The Shades we have returned to the earth have made the ultimate sacrifice for the future of this realm.”
My gaze met each of theirs as I searched the crowd. When my gaze finally fell on Nikolai, my shoulders relaxed, my brows softened.
“We have buried not only the Shades of the resistance here today, but the Nightshades who stood against us. They may have been loyal to Donika, they may have been manipulated and abused into following her. We will never know. They deserve the same respect and honor of returning to the Mother that all Shades do.”
A murmur swept through the crowd and I could see some nodding their heads, some scowling in disapproval.
I would never know the motivations of those that had fallen.
The thought of treating them all as traitors when some of them had only been trying to save their families—when they had endured the same torture I had—didn’t sit right with me.
“Whether you agree with this decision or not, I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do, the right way to begin my reign as queen of Istmere. I do not want to continue the plague of discrimination that has tormented this realm for far too long. I do not want to further the hate that has permeated for decades.”
I could see pride twinkling in Nik’s gaze as he sent a wave of warmth down the bond that I could sense beneath my skin.
“While there are brighter days ahead, I want to take this time to reflect on those that sacrificed for our cause. Those that will never get to see what this realm should have been all along. Those that may have been misguided or forced into servitude. Those that lost their way and paid the ultimate price. To honor those friends and family members that have fallen, I want to speak their names. Please call out their names to remember them. To honor them. I will start.” I cleared my throat as tears stung the back of my eyes.
“Isaac Chamberlain. Tyr Kotova. Antonia Finch.”
The other Shades began to say the names of those they wanted to remember among the crowd, a moment of silence for each name that fell from their lips.
“Fletcher Price. Kane Price.”
“Ivory Percival.”
“Destria Godwin.”
“Christopher Hawthorne.”
“Warrick Dragovya.”
“Theo Aldrige.”
“Giselle Norwood.”
The names went on and on.
By the time we were finished honoring those that we had lost, the sun had set beyond the stone castle and cast the burial field in a dark, purple glow. The only light we could see by was the blush of the moon and the magic grasped within our palms.
As the final names were spoken and we prepared to return to the castle, Nikolai found me, wrapping me in his arms. I pressed my face against his shoulder, his white tunic capturing the tears that trailed down my cheeks.
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel everything so deeply,” I whispered into him.
“But that’s what makes you so special,” he replied, his arms tight around me, pressing me against him. His words were muffled by my hair.
A humorless laugh escaped me as I clung to him.
I wished I could remember each and every name spoken here today.
Each and every life lost to this war. I knew that there would be a price for Istmere to free itself from tyranny, but it was a heavy price indeed.
I would never allow myself to forget about the sacrifices those around me had made. About the sacrifices I had made.
We had made it to the other side—and I was grateful—but with victory came the bitter tinge of sadness. Without sacrifice, it wouldn’t have been possible to defeat Donika.
Nik grasped my hand and led me back towards The Stone Palace. The other Shades returned to their homes or returned to the castle with us, where we would hold a memorial banquet that would last well into the night.
As we passed the stone archway into the castle foyer, I could sense the energy of the Shades simmering under my skin as if it were a tangible thing. There was sadness, but beneath that, there was also hope .
My last thought as I grabbed a goblet of wine from Tess was that I prayed Tyr and Isaac were with the Mother—wherever that was—and that one day I would see them again.
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