Page 25

F rom the time of my capture to now, the lines had blurred for me—and I had nobody to blame but myself.

I had set out to get out of the dungeon, and I had done exactly that.

But now I was more confused than ever, wondering exactly how soulless and evil the Noctani truly were when Nikolai still appeared to maintain a sliver of his humanity.

Whether that was due to being bound before being turned, I couldn’t know for sure.

Nik could remember vivid moments from our past together.

He could be gentle and sweet. But he could also be angry and unpredictable.

It was as if there were two sides to the same coin, and it was a toss-up which one I was going to get.

He had hurt me, suffocated me with his shadows, hit me in the head with his sword, stolen my blood without my consent.

But I hadn’t been on the receiving end of the cruelty I had seen him possess against the other Noctani .

Not yet, at least. I wasn’t sure how much longer he could manage to fight the compulsion.

He lay with his arm wrapped around me. With his eyes closed, I could almost pretend that this was normal. That he was normal. His eyes were closed in sleep, his mouth slightly parted. I could almost pretend he wasn’t Noctani at all, and we were enjoying a day in bed together back in Siraleth.

But that wasn’t the truth.

The truth was Nikolai was Noctani, and there was a part of him that thirsted for not only my blood but my magic.

He had drunk from me multiple times, and each time all I had felt in that moment was unbridled pleasure.

The initial sting of his fangs wore off quickly, replaced with nothing but pure ecstasy.

He hadn’t turned me into Noctani, and he hadn’t stolen my magic.

He was still in control of his own choices to a certain degree. But something had also been irreparably changed in him… because the Nikolai I knew would never be cruel. Never hurt me. Never blacken my eye and tighten his hand around my throat without a second thought.

I turned, biting back the tears that threatened to fall at the thought. I wouldn’t be able to lose him a second time. I needed the antidote, and I needed it now . Alastir had said not to put all my eggs in one basket… but I had, and I desperately needed Nik to return to normal.

After the incident with Giselle, he had to address the Noctani once more to ensure they stayed away from me. For the remainder of the day, he had kept me locked in his bedroom at the end of the hallway .

But when he had come to bed that night, he had forgotten to lock the door behind him.

I needed to escape quickly and quietly. After determining yesterday before my encounter with Giselle that the windows were sealed shut permanently, that left the only other option—the front door.

I hoped now that Nik had threatened the others, the common spaces were more likely to be abandoned, the Noctani having returned to their own rooms.

If only I could be as lucky.

I hadn’t yet found any weapons that I could use against Nik, but I had decided that when I did make my move, I would risk summoning my magic if need be. I wouldn’t go down without a fight, and I doubted Nikolai would forgive me for trying to escape with his new volatile personality.

Once I had made the decision to go, I needed to go.

A piece of me didn’t want to leave him, though I knew there was no other option. I couldn’t stay here like this forever, remaining his prisoner. I needed to cure him, because I couldn’t stomach fighting him when the time came.

And we needed to save Isaac.

I needed to escape before Nik decided to take me to Donika, after all.

Or one of his Noctani crew decided to go against him and take me themselves.

Once we cured Nik… we would be bound once more.

That was, if everything went to plan. I was living on borrowed time playing house here, and it was time to go.

Once my magic was bound, I could kill Donika and end this war once and for all. The people of Istmere deserved to live in peace. They had suffered enough over this last decade. I needed to refocus my priorities, which had been entirely lost these last few weeks.

I rolled to the side of the bed, away from Nikolai’s arm, and it fell to the bed between us. I waited until I was sure he hadn’t woken, then I stood. The bed creaked as my feet met the floor, and once more I waited to ensure he hadn’t woken.

He had brought me clothes and had dressed me in a silk slip last night, the material clinging to my curves.

I certainly couldn’t leave in this, especially if I needed to cross all the way back to the seaside cabin within the next two days.

No, I needed a tunic and some type of riding pants or trousers.

I silently padded to the dresser and pulled the drawer open slowly. It creaked despite my carefulness.

I waited again, but Nikolai still didn’t wake.

I breathed a soft sigh of relief before taking out a white tunic that buttoned up to the neck, pulling it on over the slip, and a pair of black pants. I pulled on the pair of boots I had come here in, my eyes on Nikolai’s still form.

He was almost… too still in sleep. As if he were dead.

I guessed, in a sense he was.

But his heart still beat, and blood still ran through the veins of the Noctani. The essence that had changed them was magic, which made me all the more hopeful that they could be returned to their natural state.

I couldn’t find a cloak among the mess of clothes on the floor, and didn’t risk rifling through them and waking him. I wasn’t sure what I would find when I left this house, or where I would be. I knew it was time to go .

I prayed to the Mother that it would be warm enough that I could make it back without layers, but the summer nights in Istmere were temperamental and unpredictable. It wasn’t like the mortal realm.

I moved to the door, and though I had promised myself I wouldn’t, I turned back.

My breath caught in my throat as I took him in one last time.

Tears stung the back of my eyes as I thought that this might be the last time I ever saw him.

He looked so peaceful, his head laid across the pillow.

His hair softly billowed out around him.

He was bare from the waist up and I could see his tattoos clearly beneath the light of the lantern on the bedside table.

I couldn’t leave him like this forever… in this state. I silently promised him that I would cure him at all costs as I turned, my hand on the knob. I twisted the knob and eased the door open and waited, to see if the movement had woken him.

It hadn’t.

I shakily inhaled as I put one foot in front of the other, creeping towards the staircase as quietly as I could manage.

I only needed to avoid that fucking floorboard.

I skirted around it, sticking to the walls of the hallway, and made it to the top of the staircase before pausing.

I listened for any Noctani that might be in the room below, but heard nothing.

It was now or never.

I gently descended the stairs, cringing each time my boot made one of the steps creak. I cursed that this house was older, full of squeaks and groans. I hoped anyone that might hear chalked it up to the old bones of the house. Once I had made it to the bottom of the staircase, I glanced around.

Thankfully, the room below was blessedly empty.

On silent feet, I walked towards the front door, and my breath caught in my throat once more when it finally came into view.

This was it.

This was my chance.

My footsteps quickened, my hand reaching out for the knob of the front door when a wind stirred my hair.

Within a blink, a form stood before me, towering over me. An angry expression masked his face. He narrowed his eyes at me, those black tourmaline gems studying me. Assessing me.

“Where do you think you’re going, Firecracker?”