Page 35

F or one impossibly long moment, I sensed the bond snapping back into place.

A surge of magic sparked in my core, seeping through my veins, and my eyes pressed closed at the intensity of the power surging through me.

I allowed myself one moment of shock before relief swarmed my body and I fell against him, wrapping his cold, blood caked body in my embrace. I didn’t care.

Nikolai was alive .

And he wasn’t Noctani.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. His hand fisted in my hair as he held my face against his shoulder, soft sobs escaping me. I could sense the binding deep in my core, as if it had never left at all.

“Diana, Diana, Diana.” My name was on his lips as if it were a chant. A prayer. Wonder laced his voice as if he couldn’t believe it, and neither could I .

And then something in him shifted.

He pushed me away enough to gaze into my eyes—and in that moment—he finally broke.

Tear drops fell from his eyes, leaving dirt and blood stains across his cheeks. His hand held my cheek as he held my gaze with his own, the pain clear in his gaze.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” I assured him, my hand clamping over his at my cheek.

“You’re wrong.” His eyes swam with tears, his face stricken. “You’re wrong.” His voice was a harsh whisper as his eyes fell to his lap, his hand falling with it.

I tried to hold his hand in mine, but he pulled away.

“Nik—” I wasn’t sure what I was going to say.

That everything that had happened while he was Noctani was ok? That we could go back to the way things used to be? The binding constricted in my chest as he moved away, standing on shaky legs.

“Welcome back,” Puck said, a smile lifting the corner of his mouth.

Nik’s gaze met his and fresh tears sprang forth. He was likely thinking of how he had fought him. Hurt him. Knocked him out. He had done the same to me.

I could see the guilt swell behind his gaze as he stood and stepped backwards once. Twice. Putting distance between himself and the rest of us.

I stepped forward, wanting to close that distance, but Annelise grabbed my arm.

“Give him space. Give him time. ”

My gaze shot to hers, a witty quip on the tip of my tongue until her expression sank in.

She shook her head, her expression strained. “I know what it is to feel the sudden repercussions of your actions like this. How it is to betray the ones you love, even unwittingly.”

I swallowed hard, my gaze flitting back to Nik.

He held his ripped tunic closed across his chest, gooseflesh breaking out across his skin.

He gave me one last glance, his eyes filled with anguish, before turning away from me.

As he walked away, his human footprints on the forest floor turned to those of a great wolf, and I could see his black, shaggy fur as his Nightshade form retreated into the forest.

I moved to protest, to go after him, but Annelise held me firm.

“He knows where we are. He will be back. He needs to process this on his own. We don’t know what else happened while he was Noctani. We only know what he did to you. To Puck. To Tess. These wounds are likely deeper than we know.”

My gaze fell to my boots as I gave a soft nod.

As much as I didn’t want to let him go, despite how much it hurt to watch him walk away when I had just got him back, I understood. He was swelling with emotions, brimming with guilt, and he needed to grieve in his own way.

But I had already forgiven him. For everything.

It hadn’t been him . Not truly.

I brushed my pants off, meeting Puck and Zion’s gaze.

Sympathy was clear in their eyes, and I almost couldn’t take it.

I wasn’t the one they should be sorry for.

It was Nik. I moved to my pack, stuffing the items that had spilled out of it across the forest floor during the mayhem of searching for the antidote bottle back into the rough canvas.

Isaac was still dead.

We hadn’t been able to save him.

Zion held the second antidote out to me and I stuffed it inside the pack ruthlessly, an emptiness enveloping my chest. My gaze was drawn to Isaac’s still form, motionless among the moss-covered forest. His eyes were closed, the reminder of his Noctani darkness hidden from my view.

“What was that?” I asked, turning to Zion at my side. “When the magic seemed to… swell around him. Into the earth. Was that his Stormshade magic?”

I had thought it was safely enclosed in Donika’s serpentine staff, encapsulated for her to use at her every whim. We weren’t sure what would happen to it if we had cured Isaac… or killed him.

Zion nodded, his gaze following mine. “When a Shade dies, their magic returns to the earth. To where it was first born. I wasn’t sure if Isaac’s would, with Donika having stolen it and him having turned into Noctani.

But it appears that when a Noctani dies, so does their magic. It returns to them, then to the earth.”

My gaze brightened a little. “That means Donika doesn’t have storm magic anymore?”

“That’s correct. At least one good thing came from this battle. We know now that killing the Noctani or curing them returns their magic to their bodies and the earth. Valuable knowledge for us to use in the fight against her.”

I nodded. A small consolation .

Isaac was still gone, and we couldn’t get him back, but at least Donika couldn’t use his magic against me. Against us.

Isaac was as much of a father to me as he was a mentor. He was the first Stormshade I had ever met. The first Shade who had magic similar to my own and had taught me how to wield it.

I moved to his body, kneeling beside it.

I reached for his hand—his skin cold within my grasp.

I remembered how he had taught me more about my magic than I had ever thought possible.

He had taught me how to shield, how to use my magic not only for offense but for defense.

He had been by my side when my magic turned on me. He had helped me rein it in.

A single tear escaped my eye, and I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

“I will win this war for you, Isaac. I wish you could have known a realm where you didn’t have to hide your storm magic.” I bit back a cry as I gently placed his hand across his chest, fingers splayed out. “Thank you. For everything.”

I stood, a sad smile across my lips as I gazed down at him.

“He needs a proper burial.” I spoke to no one in particular, but it was Amiyah who answered.

“We will ensure it.” She embraced me, her arm reaching around me to pull me against her side. When she pulled away, she held my gaze in hers. “You cannot save everyone. That is not your responsibility.”

I hadn’t been able to save Tyr either.

Despite her words, guilt settled forcefully in my gut .

Puck came up beside us, saying his own quiet goodbyes to Isaac. When he was finished, he stood, coming to my side and grasping my hand in his.

“I’m sorry, Diana. I didn’t have a choice. He was killing Tess… strangling her. I could only save one of them. I didn’t have the antidote.”

I shook my head. “You don’t need to explain—”

“But I do.” He nodded, swallowing hard. His throat bobbed. “Isaac led the resistance in your stead. He was our best asset… and I killed him . Nothing I ever say or do can forgive it. I just need you to know that I’m sorry.”

“Puck—” I wanted to console him. To assure him there was nothing else he could have done. But he left, joining the others to clean up.

Annelise took the longest to say goodbye. Her forehead pressed against his, her tears spilling against his cheeks. I had a hunch they were involved before, and it was clear now that there was more between them than friendship. Their relationship had been… complicated.

Amiyah, Zion, and Annelise used their magic to dig burial sites for the fallen Shades as Saanvi, Kenna, Puck and I gathered the bodies and prepared them for burial.

It was the way of Shades for their bones and flesh to return to the earth where their magic was born.

Not only their magic would return to the soil, but their very essence.

We buried Isaac first, each of us saying a prayer to the Mother as we shoveled the dirt into the grave with our magic and our bare hands.

We buried the Noctani, too. Their magic returned to the earth when they died too, which meant they died as Shades.

They deserved properly burials, too. We were heaving the fifth body into the graves Zion, Amiyah, and Annelise had dug when Nik returned quietly, leaning against a tree in the distance and silently watching.

One of the Nightshades that had been killed in the battle was Antonia Finch.

I hadn’t even realized she had been here, hadn’t recognized her when the Nightshades had come to reinforce Nik.

We buried her last, her body returning to the earth beneath a tall evergreen tree, its long green branches reaching down towards her.

I wished I could have saved her.

I wish I could have saved them all.

When we had finished burying them and giving them their last rites, we adorned their graves with wildflowers we had found growing in the adjacent field. Isaac’s final resting place was marked with a large granite boulder that we used magic to roll into place.

It was odd using my magic easily after so much time had passed.

It was second nature, as if it had always been this way.

This effortless. No thunder clapped overhead.

No storm raged, threatening to steal my magic and turn me into a bloodthirsty monster.

The magic sensation warmed in my core, filling me with a pleasant heat.

I had been able to sense the moment Nikolai had returned, and he bore his human form this time.

His gaze focused on me as we worked, but he said nothing.

He needed time… and I would give it to him.

It had been weeks since he was turned—and Annelise was right—we had no idea what had transpired during that time .

What Donika might have made him do. Despite everything, even when he was Noctani, there was a piece of him that was Nik .

I gathered my pack, a silent question in my eyes as I turned towards Zion and Annelise.

“We should return to Amiyah’s,” Zion said as she joined us.

She nodded. “I think that’s the best idea. We should return to the grimoire and regroup. Decide our next steps. We can return to Siraleth and reinforce the wards with their binding now intact. It should be safe there again.”

Her head nodded towards Zion. “I guess you are the leader of the resistance now.”

A sad smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “I guess I am. I never imagined leading a movement against my own daughter, but there’s nothing else to be done about it. Istmere needs to be returned to its rightful queen, and the violence needs to end. It’s time for a change.”

I couldn’t imagine how difficult this might be for him. How he had to put our family aside and work towards the greater good for the people of Istmere. It was as if he could read the thoughts on my face, his gaze burning into mine.

“It’s what rulers do. Sacrifice. Make difficult decisions that benefit the greater good.”

A humorless laugh escaped me. Donika had certainly not gotten that memo. She had let her thirst for revenge, her hatred for those stronger than her, to grow and fester. To destroy her… turning her into the worst thing for the realm.

As a group, we headed towards the Prins border and Nikolai moved into step beside us soundlessly .

“How long until we get there?” he asked, his voice strained.

I could see in his expression he was still being swallowed by his own thoughts. He was distracted, his shoulders as heavy as his conscience.

“Two days’ time,” I answered.

We said nothing more, traveling side by side in silence. This certainly hadn’t gone to plan, and we could feel the loss with every step we took back towards the seaside cabin. We had saved Nik, but lost Isaac and many Shades of the resistance in the process.

Nik’s steady presence was a balm at my side, but despite him being so close to me physically… he was distant.

I couldn’t help but think that things had irrevocably changed between us.

And that thought terrified me to my core.