Page 16

Chapter Sixteen

“ M orning, you don’t need to be here, you know that?” Mike said, as I walked into the office.

“I know, but I don’t know what else to do. I need to stay busy.”

“Okay, but if you feel overwhelmed or just want to leave, do so. No need to ask.”

I smiled my thanks and went to make coffee. I asked people in the office if anyone wanted one and made a list.

“Sorry to hear about your loss,” I heard. I had been standing at the coffee machine.

When I turned, I came face to face with a man I’d seen, but not spoken to. “Thank you. It was coming, but still a shock.”

“Bloody horrible when someone close dies.” Another man joined us. He held his mug, and I took it from him.

I smiled at him. I appreciated their thoughts. I made us all coffee and delivered mugs to those at their desks.

Amelia wasn’t in the office, so I continued with the redesign of the club. I’d made the storyboard, now I needed to gather swatches of material and paint colour. I asked Mike how we did that.

“We have some suppliers, I’ll grab a list. You call them, explain what want and ask them to send swatches. If you’re not sure, you can visit them.”

I nodded my thanks and went back to my desk. I didn’t have any emails to deal with, so I sent a text to Sebastian instead.

Thank you for staying with me last night. I know what I asked, but I didn’t realise what I needed until you were there. Can we go out for dinner later? Or I can cook? I’m at work now. Ruby xxx

He didn’t reply immediately so I assumed he was busy. I placed my phone on the desk and decided to get some course work done. I’d been sent some pre-course work to do, and had decided to use the project I was working on as part of that. I opened up the course website and started.

I tried my hardest to focus, but my mind kept drifting off. I minimised the page and brought up a search engine. I wanted to know how easy it was to get a DNA test. I found a company that offered the service and called them. I was told I’d need to visit my GP for my test and Grandma would need to provide hair, with the follicle attached, and finger nail clippings. I wanted to laugh when they reminded me I’d need permission. I then called the funeral company to ask if that was possible. According to them, they’d done this before a few times, all I needed were the sample pots.

I booked it all and then sat back in my chair and pondered. I’d decide if I was going through with it once the kit arrived.

Mike sent over the details for the paint and material suppliers, and I called both. I arranged for them to send swatches and paint charts to us. It seemed silly that we didn’t have current ones anyway.

“Mike, can I have a word?” I asked as I approached his office.

“Sure, what’s up, Ruby?”

“Can I go home? I know you said just to go when I wanted to, but I like to ask. I’ve ordered swatches and paint samples. I’m sort of kicking my heels at the moment. I’ve been online and done what I need to pre-course.”

He nodded his head. “Ruby, I don’t want to see you until after the funeral, unless you have an absolute desire to be here. How’s that? ”

“I feel bad, I’ve been here less than a week and now I’m off!”

“Go, before I change my mind. Work from home if you want to.”

I smiled my thanks and gathered up my bag, laptop, and phone. As I walked to the stairs, I saw Sebastian had replied.

Hey, baby, I’m at home at the moment. I’d love to take you for dinner. Shall I collect you? Do you have enough clothes? I’ll book a table for seven. Seb xx

I waited until I was down in reception to reply.

That sounds great. I can walk over to you, save you the journey. I’ll need to get a change of clothes anyway. I’ll be over about five. Ruby xx

I had a couple of hours to kill so decided to head back to the flat. I wanted to go to the house, it was within walking distances as well, but I worried he’d return. I’d have to ask Monica if she would meet the agency to collect Grandma’s things.

When I returned to the flat, I made a coffee and opened my laptop. I needed to choose hymns. I scrolled through some funeral arranging sites and picked out a couple I liked and was sure that Grandma would, too. I wasn’t religious in any way, and Grandma hadn’t been to church all the time I’d been living with her, so I just chose some familiar ones that I might be able to mumble along to.

I refused the offer of an Order of Service; I thought it a waste of money. There would be the hearse, one car, and one display of flowers, that’s all. Minimalistic, and cheap, was what she’d wanted.

I hadn’t heard back from Sebastian so decided to just walk over to him. It shouldn’t take me more than ten minutes, I thought. I walked everywhere prior to him. Sometimes my journey would take an hour, but it was the cheapest way of getting around.

I changed out of my work clothes and threw on some jeans and a T-shirt, I then put my hoodie on and grabbed my backpack. With Converse on my feet, I set off.

It was actually a pleasant walk, the maps app on my phone directed me through some lovely back streets and across a park. I arrived at his half an hour later. I let myself in and called out his name.

He didn’t answer. His car was on the drive, and he’d said he was home. I noticed the French doors were open, and assumed he was on the patio. I left my backpack in the kitchen and wandered out.

Although only four o’clock, the evening was already drawing in. I shivered slightly, there was a chill I hadn’t noticed when I’d been walking. I chuckled. I was turning into a softy, I thought. I’d walk all through the winter in just a T-shirt and hoodie, unless it was raining, of course.

I walked down the steps to the lawned area and called out again. I heard something in the distance, I wasn’t sure if it was Sebastian or not, but it was a man’s voice, for sure.

I headed towards the edge of the woods and waited. He’d heard me, I thought, so I imagined he’d come and find me. He had said he wanted to stock his log store up for winter. I smiled, I bet he looked sexy chopping wood!

I debated about whether to follow the path or not. I gave myself a mental kick up the arse and started to walk. I could always use the torch on my phone if I needed to and I wasn’t deviating from a straight path. If he wasn’t there, I’d simply turn around and head back the way I’d come. He’d know I was there; my backpack was on the counter.

I came to a clearing and a stone building. Sebastian had told me there was a building, but I couldn’t remember what he used it for. Someone was in, however, there was a slight shining through a very grubby window. I laughed.

So, Mr. Wolfe did have a stone cottage in the woods, after all.

I pushed open the door and froze.

Sebastian stood in black jeans and a black T-shirt with his back to me. Tony lounged against the wall. My father sat, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. His face was bloody, one eye already shut.

He laughed when he saw me, spitting on the floor at Sebastian’s feet. “And here’s the bastard,” he said.

“What?” I replied.

“Ruby, I need you to go back to the house.” Sebastian’s tone was harsh.

“Let her stay, see what an animal you are,” my father said. Sebastian punched him square in the face and blood spurted over his arm. My father’s chair went backwards, taking him with it.

“Back to the house!” Sebastian shouted.

I wanted to turn and run; I really did. But my feet were glued to the spot. “I can’t,” I said, stammering a little.

“GO!” His voice rocked me on my feet.

I watched Tony pick my father up and wondered how many times he’d done that. Sebastian turned to face me. He had blood splattered over his forehead and cheek. His hands were bloodied, his fists tightly clenched.

I swallowed hard as he walked towards me. When he stood in front of me, I closed my eyes tightly. I shook.

“Go, Ruby, please,” he said, gentler than before.

“I...” I didn’t know what to say, it seemed ridiculous to tell him my body had frozen in shock. It was just a metaphor, however, in that instance, I really was unable to move.

“You should tell her the truth,” I heard. My father coughed and spluttered. “Look what your boyfriend did to your father, Ruby.”

“You’re not her father,” Sebastian spat back, not looking at him.

“She thought I was.” He laughed and I looked around Sebastian to see him.

“Are you my father?” I asked.

He laughed again. “No.”

“Was she my mother?”

His laughter was maniacal. “No. She was just the dumb bitch who wanted to keep you.”

I launched for him. I was screaming with my arms outreached. I wanted to scratch his eyes out, cut out his vile tongue so he couldn’t say any more words. Sebastian caught me around the waist and lifted me off my feet. I kicked at him, punched, and slapped him to get free. I dug my nails into his hands as he walked me outside the cottage.

“Let me go,” I screamed.

“Tony!” Sebastian shouted. He came running. “Take her home.”

“NO! Let me go, fucking let me go,” I shouted.

He handed me over to Tony who got the same treatment as Sebastian had. I was crying hard, and I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Don’t leave me,” I said, calling out to Sebastian. He paused as he entered the building, cocking his head as if deliberating what to do. “Come with me, please,” I said, sobbing.

He walked through the door and closed it behind him.

I was thrown over Tony’s shoulder and he marched back to the house.

“If I put you down, you have to stay put, okay?” he said.

“Fucking let go of me. This is assault.”

“There’s a phone there, if you want to call the police.”

“This isn’t fucking funny,” I screamed.

He placed me on my feet but stood close.

“I know, Ruby. But what that man has done... He deserves everything coming to him.”

“I don’t care about that. I have questions! I need answers! You could have...You could have done whatever you wanted after.”

I paced but he blocked the doors. When he could, he closed and locked them, then he pocketed the key. I paced some more. There had to be a way out. The house stood, detached from any other, in the middle of the grounds. If I could get out, all I had to do was run around the side. I highly doubted I’d get far, though.

“Hey, I get it. I honestly do, but you’ll be glad you’re not related to that piece of scum out there.”

“Who am I related to? Who the fuck am I, then?”

Tony shook his head and walked towards me. “You’re Sebastian’s, that makes you mine and a hundred other people who have formed a family. You don’t need to be a blood relative, Ruby. You don’t need to share DNA to be a member of a family. This one wants you, appreciates you.”

“You don’t know me,” I said, quietly.

“My brother loves you, that’s good enough for me.”

I shook my head. Platitudes, that’s all it was. I slumped into a chair. “What is he going to do?”

“Beat the fuck out of him, then hand him over to the police.”

“Really? Because last time I asked, he was going to kill him!” Sarcasm dripped from my lips. “I can’t sit here while he does that.”

Tony walked over and crouched down in front of me. “Let me tell you about that man out there. The one you’re desperate to get answers you won’t like from. As a teenager he befriended kids, bought them sweets, toys, then kidnapped them. Sold them to adults. Do you want to know what for, Ruby? ”

I shook my head and covered my ears. Tony pulled my hands away.

“He was part of a gang. Some of that gang are now dead, some in prison. Sebastian, our family, have spent over twenty years disbanding them, rescuing those kids still alive. You want answers from him? He’s kidnapped so many, he wouldn’t remember where the fuck he picked you up from, Ruby. Is that the man you want to speak to?”

I stared at him with tears running down my cheeks, snot leaking from my nose; my body shaking.

“What can he tell you that Sebastian can’t?”

“Who my parents are?”

“Do you think he would remember? And who knows, he might still be your father!”

The thought he could made me feel sick. I clutched my stomach and heaved. I vomited all over the tiled floor.

“It’s okay,” Tony said, gently. He rubbed my back until my heaving stopped.

“I’m sorry,” I said, looking at the floor. It was mostly water.

“Up you get.” He took my hands and helped me stand. My legs shook, and he led me to the stools at the breakfast bar.

While I sat, he grabbed me a bottle of water. He then pulled off reams of kitchen towel from the roll and mopped up.

When he was done, he washed his hands and came and sat beside me.

“Why not just give the file to the police?” I asked.

“We will. The police have been looking for him for years as well. But do you think we’re just going to hand him over to sit in a nice little cell, or in solitary until he’s convicted?” He shook his head as he spoke. “Not a fucking chance, Ruby.”

I nodded then and closed my eyes.

We sat in silence then until I saw a light approaching. Someone was walking across the lawn and carrying a torch. Sebastian paused at the door and Tony unlocked them. I slid my stool and rushed over to him.

He was covered in blood, and he had a metallic smell about him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek to his chest. I could feel wetness and wasn’t sure if it was blood or sweat.

Tony passed us and patted Sebastian on the back. “I’ll finish up,” he said.

Sebastian gently pushed me back. “I’m sorry you saw that,” he said.

“Is he dead?” I asked.

Sebastian shook his head. “No, but he wishes he was.”

“What happens now? ”

“Tony will dump him at a police station and leave the file we have on him.”

“Won’t they arrest Tony?”

“No, he’s not going to walk in the front door and announce himself. We’ve done this plenty of times before.”

I picked up his hands. “Was it worth it?” I whispered, looking at the cuts and blood.

“Yes,” he whispered back. “It’s always worth it, Ruby.”

I nodded, there wasn’t much we could say. I took his hand and led him upstairs and to the bathroom. I ran the bath as he had done for me. While he undressed, I sat on the edge and ruffled up bubbles. He climbed in and lowered. He sighed, and then closed his eyes. I picked up a sponge and dipped it in the water. I placed the sponge to his forehead and squeezed. The water washed the blood from his face. I did the same to his neck, and then I gently washed his hands and arms. He sunk under the water for a moment and when he emerged, he swept the water from his head. He looked at me.

“Get in, Ruby,” he said.

I stripped off my clothes and slid in, my back to his chest. All I did was rest back and let the hot water soothe us both until Sebastian shuffled behind me. I leaned forwards to allow him to stand. He stepped from the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist .

“I can’t sit still for too long,” he said, holding out a towel for me.

He wrapped it around me, and we walked into the bedroom. While I sat on the edge of the bed, he dried himself.

“Is that it now?” I asked. “Is he the last?”

“For now.”

He sat beside me. “I never wanted you to see that. It’s why I said I’d collect you.”

“I did text back. I thought I was doing you a favour by walking over.”

“Well, it’s done now. He isn’t your father, Ruby, I’m sure of that.”

“I’m glad. I can’t imagine having him as a father. Do you think he was telling the truth about my mother?”

“I do, sadly. We know she would snatch new-borns from hospital. She had gotten caught once but had pleaded some mental health issue and hadn’t been charged. They fled to Spain when the police were getting close to them.”

“Why you, Sebastian? Why did you take on this role of ridding the planet of them?”

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I had a sister; she was taken from the home in the middle of the night. I did what I could to protect her, but I wasn’t old enough. I lost her. I don’t want another child to go through that. ”

“But you can’t stop them all,” I said, holding his hand.

“No, but I can make it known that there is a group, over two hundred strong, Ruby, who will hunt them down and serve our own brand of justice.”

“A vigilante group?”

“If that’s what you want to call us.”

“Where are you all?”

He chuckled gently. “You work with some. We’re scattered all over the country. We only come together occasionally.”

“Were they all kids from the same home.”

“No. Some have joined us at different times in their life from different places. We have a common goal and that is to stop what happened to us, Ruby.”

“Can you talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No, not now. You have too much to process. All I can tell you is that I was given up, I don’t know why, to a Catholic children’s home. All of us suffered some form of abuse, whether that be physical or sexual… emotional. Some are dead, some are not. Some will die long before they should, some will live in utter hell. That’s all I want to say right now.”

I nodded, then raised his hand to my lips. I kissed his bruised knuckles gently. “I love you, Sebastian, do you believe me? ”

He looked down at me. “Not yet, but I’m sure I will. You need to give me time.”

“I can do that. We are pretend married after all.”

He chuckled. “I promised you dinner.”

“You still want to go out?”

“Of course. What happened out there? Parked, done, filed away.” He’d pointed to his head as he spoke. “Get dressed, I’m hungry this time.”

I was a little surprised he could just switch off as quick as that. I couldn’t, for sure. However, I dressed and applied a small amount of makeup. I was sure there were more clothes in the closet than I’d remembered.

“Did you buy me new clothes?” I asked as he stood dressing on one side, while I was the other.

“Yeah, is that okay? You said you needed some things and I wanted to choose them for you.”

I ran my hand over a couple of lovely fitted dressed and paused on a black one. It was sophisticated, the kind I’d see in a magazine and lust after but believe it wouldn’t suit me.

“Of course it’s okay. Don’t suppose you bought me some underwear, did you?”

“In the drawer.”

He chuckled as I looked. It was full of everyday knickers and some super sexy ones. The next drawer was full of bras and a couple of basques. Underneath those, socks, and tights .

“Blimey, Sebastian.” I pulled out a pair of knickers. Well, I say knickers, they were more like dental floss!

“I can’t wait for the day I undress you and find those.”

I turned back to the rails. Beside them was a row of shelves that contained casual and smart tops, jeans, and hoodies.

“Look in the next cupboard,” he said.

“Oh my fucking God!” There were three different pairs of Converse, some Vans, trainers, two pairs of boots, and some shoes.

“I wasn’t sure on the boots. You can exchange anything you don’t like. Tony thought you might be annoyed I’d chosen them, since women love shopping so much.”

“I hate shopping, and these are all perfect. You can shop for me any day!”

I picked a blue dress from the rail, some cotton knickers, and a matching bra. I dressed and then tried on various pairs of shoes to see which ones suited the outfit. “I need some handbags,” I said.

“Those, I thought you might like to choose yourself.”

We were ready at the same time. Before we left the closet, he placed his hands on my cheeks. He gave me a brief kiss on the forehead, and then one to my cheek.

“Thank you, Ruby, for being here. I understand your need for some space, and I will honour that, but I hate it.”

“I hate it, too. I don’t know what to do right now. I don’t know who I am.”

“You’re you. You’re tough and courageous. You’re beautiful and sassy. You care and love passionately, and despite our age gap, I’m grateful to have you by my side.”

I stared at him. His intensity was comforting, it instilled his words in my brain. I meant something to him, really meant something. My chest swelled.

“What’s the time, Mr. Wolfe?” I asked.

“Time for dinner, Ruby,” he replied and chuckled. He took my hand and led me downstairs.

The Bentley and Ferrari were lined up outside. “Don’t you garage them?” I asked.

“Normally, but only if I know I’m not going out again.”

“What did Tony drive?”

“A van, unmarked, unregistered, then it’ll be burnt.”

“That’s a waste of money, isn’t it?”

“If it had been bought in the first place, yes, I guess so.”

“Car theft as well as assault and battery. Mmm, Mr. Wolfe, you have quite the reputation.”

“Vigilante leader, don’t forget that.”

He winked and for a moment I felt proud of him. Not for the battery and assault or the car theft, but for his morals being so strong that he felt the absolute need for action.

“What?” he asked, as he held the passenger door open.

“I’m proud of you, Sebastian.” He stilled. “I really am. All those things you said about me, the same applies to you.”

I climbed into the car, and he gently closed the door.

Sebastian drove us to a restaurant in Kent. It was small and tucked away in a village high street. It was wonderful. We ate, and we talked. We held hands, and we drank a glass of wine each. We talked about the funeral arrangements, and I mentioned the black dress he’d bought would be perfect. We purposely didn’t talk about what had happened at the house.

“Do you need hair and nails, or whatever, done? I can arrange for someone to come to the house,” he said.

“I guess so. I haven’t had a decent hair cut in years. As for nails...” I held up my hands and showed him my bitten down fingertips.

“You need jewellery,” he said. I folded my hands back in my lap.

“No, I don’t. I need to stop biting my nails, though. I might get some fake ones.”

“So you don’t want this?”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a square black box. I held my breath as he opened it. Inside sat a beautiful diamond bracelet. I’d seen similar in magazines; a tennis bracelet I think they’d been called at one point.

He took it from the case and opened the clasp. “Yes, or no?” He smirked at me.

“Yes! Bloody hell, Sebastian!” I held out my arm and he fixed the bracelet around my wrist.

He twisted it so the clasp was underneath, and I angled my wrist in all directions to look at the beautiful piece. I’d never worn much jewellery. I had my ears pierced and I’d occasionally wear a selection of silver rings. But with the work I’d done in the past, I was always removing them.

“Shit,” I said. “Diego.”

“Who?”

“My old boss. He was a friend of my grandma, and I haven’t told him about her yet.”

“I’m sure you can do that tomorrow. For now, do you want to come home, or back to the flat.”

I loved the way he said home . He was my home . It didn’t matter where he was, what property I was in, as long as he was with me.

“Home, with you.”

He smiled and paid the bill. “What about dessert?” I asked .

“You are my dessert, and if you want ice cream, I have a freezer full.”

He led me back to the car.

It felt surreal in one way. We arrived home and only then did I feel the urge to talk about what I’d witnessed.

“Can we talk for a moment?” I asked.

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that. Do I need wine?”

“I do, if you want to pour.”

He grabbed an opened bottle of wine from the fridge and poured two glasses. We sat in the living room.

“How does it feel to beat a man?”

Sebastian frowned at me. “Any old man, or that man?”

“That man.”

“Satisfying, Ruby. Cleansing. Every punch I deliver, every inch of skin I open, every drop of blood I help spill, cleanses me. It removes some of the hatred and dirtiness inside. I’m not sorry for what I’ve done in my lifetime. I’ve taken a man’s life, maybe others haven’t survived my justice, but I don’t care. Once I’ve dealt with them, they’re ticked off a list and that’s it. I don’t think about them.”

“No nightmares?”

“I lived a nightmare while awake, Ruby. I don’t dream when I sleep, and night is when I get respite from the monsters in the closets . ”

“And now I’m making you talk about it,” I said, gently.

“This will be the only time I do, and only because you deserve to know this about me. I was sexually abused from the age of three until about twelve when I could fight back. I was physically and physiologically abused as well. I have spent many hours with therapists and none of them helped. The only thing that calms me is knowing I am removing the scum from the streets. That brand of therapy is all I need. And you, Ruby. I need you. You ground me. You remind me there is a life that isn’t all about a desire to kill. I know how I feel about you, although I can’t articulate it. I can’t say those words because I was made to say them to men who fucked me. All I can do is show you how I feel.”

I swallowed back sobs that built in my chest.

“All I can do is carry on doing the same thing. I can’t change. I don’t want to. I can’t stop being the man I am because I spent too long a time becoming him. I have walls, thick walls. But maybe there are a few gaps, and you have managed to get in one.”

He leaned towards me and smoothed hair from my forehead.

“You have gotten to me in ways no one else ever has. At first, I didn’t like it because of your age. Now, I understand. You are way older and wiser than your years and I want you in my life. I want you to live here with me. I want our pretend marriage .” He chuckled at his words. “Soon, I want that to be for real.”

I sat wide-eyed. “If that was a proposal, Mr. Wolfe, you’re going to have to do a lot better than that!”

“And I will. For now, we will settle down. There is a gap in the list, I have time to concentrate on us. Now tell me how you feel by what you saw and what you know.”

I sighed. “If I’m honest, I never felt a connection to him. I focussed my attention on getting my money from him, the fact I was owed it. Now, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad Grandma is dead; I’d have hated for her to have learnt any of this. But I do wonder what she did know. When he went to prison, she would have known what for. Maybe her mind shutting down was her way of coping with that. She can’t be held accountable for his sins, I guess. Now I’m left with that one question...Who am I?”

It occurred to me suddenly, he hadn’t known his parents either.

“We’re the same, aren’t we? Orphans, I guess. I have an urge to find out the truth, where am I from, but at the same time, I know I need to slow down and process all this.”

I then told him about the DNA test kits I was waiting for.

“Why would Grandma take me in if I wasn’t her grandchild?” I asked .

“Did she know you weren’t?”

I shrugged my shoulders. There were answers I would never get, I knew that. It didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“There is an organisation that might help if you really want to start down that journey. I help fund it. It’s for abandoned people to help find relatives through DNA profiling and research. We’ve been able to reunite some. For others, just getting a medical background is enough to satisfy them.”

I nodded. “I’d like to at least know a medical background and then decide from there.”

Sebastian stood and held out his hand to me. “Time for dessert, Ruby,” he said, and immediately, his eyes darkened.

We walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. He stood in the middle of the room and looked at me.

“Come here,” he said.

When I walked towards him, he turned me around. He moved my hair to the side of my neck and slowly unzipped my dress. While he held my hair, he kissed the back of my neck, slowing licking his way over my skin and I shivered. He slid the dress off my shoulders, and it pooled at my feet. I stepped out of it.

When he stepped back, I slowly turned to face him. I stood wearing just my underwear and high heeled shoes .

“Beautiful,” he whispered, appraising me.

“As are you,” I replied.

He closed the gap again and picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he walked me to the bed where he gently laid me down. I then watched him remove his clothes.

Sebastian stood at the end of the bed naked with his cock rigid. I wished I had a camera to capture the moment. He was a stunning looking man, raw and brutal, damaged, and broken, yet there was a small gap forming in his armour allowing a kind soul to filter out. I could see that.

He crawled onto the end of the bed and lifted my foot. After he’d slid my shoe off, he kissed my instep and then up the inside of my leg. I parted my legs when he got to my upper thigh. He then kissed down the other leg and removed the shoe.

“Touch yourself, Ruby,” he whispered.

I slid my hand under my panties and stroked. I had only ever managed to bring myself to an orgasm once before. Having him watch me was causing my stomach to flip and my arousal to heighten. I was wet and hot. He reached up and pulled my knickers down, I lifted one leg and then the other so he could remove them.

He watched me, licking his lips as he did. He was waiting for the right time. The time when he’d get his dessert.