Page 20 of Wedding Cake Carnage

I make a face her way. “Yes, well, once Everett comes home, his dance card will be completely filled, byme.”

She lifts a sassy shoulder my way. “I guess I’m free to dance with Detective Fox then.”

My mouth falls open. “His dance card is all filled up, too.”

“Knew it!” Naomi bucks with a laugh. “You want them both for yourself. Admit it, Lottie. You have some twisted thing happening among the three of you. I just knew something tragic would come out of it.”

Lily tips her head my way. “Hey? Maybe Detective Fox should be investigated.”

Carlotta honks out a laugh. “No way, no how.”

“Thank you,” I say. “It’s about time someone comes to Noah’s defense.”

Carlotta inches back. “I wasn’t coming to his defense. I’m saying why bother? They won’t catch him. My money says that boy pumped the good judge full of bullets and buried him in the desert.”

“There’s not a desert for a thousand miles,” I’m quick to say. “And Noah hasn’t left my sight.”

Lily gargles out a laugh. “That’s because he’s sleeping in your bed, Lottie.”

“My couch,” I correct just as a familiar group of women stream on in. It’s all the usual suspects from Naomi’s naughty book club, or heck, it might even be a get-together for her new endeavor, the Homicide in Honey Hollow Club. Although each of the women filing in and taking a seat in the café happens to have a tiny little gift bag attached to her wrist. “Hey? What’s going on? Are we celebrating someone’s birthday?” I do a quick mental check of the cakes I have in back.

“Nope.” Lily pulls her own little gift bag out from below the counter. “Not a birthday. In fact, you might just say it’s Forest Donovan’s lucky day.”

I’m about to dig a little deeper when Meg and Lainey burst in through the door. Meg has a dozen hot pink balloons attached to her hand.

“Here she is!” Meg blows a party horn and scares away what little real customers I had left in the bakery. “The woman of the hour!” She pops a rhinestone-encrusted tiara on Lainey and navigates her to the center of the room as the girls all break out into cheers.

“What is going on?” I’m both mildly alarmed and amused.

Naomi flicks her glossy dark hair off her shoulder. “Nothing that concerns a prude like you.”

“I’m not a prude. I’ve slept with two men in the last year alone. I believe that’s the opposite of a prude.” A fact I’m not too proud of.

Naomi chortles to herself. “I believe the word you’re looking for isskank, Lottie.”

Keelie pulls two glossy red bags from behind her back and waves them in the air. “It’s Lainey’s naughty nightie party!”

A heavy groan comes from me as three customers who just walked in turn right around and head back out onto Main Street.

“Great. And there go my afternoon profits.” I get right to the tasks of pulling out my freshest pink champagne cake and slicing it up for Lainey’s naughty guests. “If we can’t beat ’em, we might as well join ’em.” I wink over to Carlotta as I hand her the first slice.

Lily starts to distribute the dessert just as my mother and Mayor Nash breeze through the door.

“Lottie Lemon!” Mayor Nash flashes that politician smile—most likely the same one he gave Carlotta right before I was conceived. A married man and asixteen-year-old. Just the thought makes me want to pop him in the nose. What was he thinking all those years ago?

Carlotta scoots next to me. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

“Carlotta.” Mayor Nash nods her way. “It’s a pleasure as usual.”

“I bet it was a pleasure,” I mutter below my breath and my mother shoots me a look that could pull the screws right out of the wall.

The crowd in the café breaks out into catcalls as Lainey holds up a black sexy number with far too many straps and far too few pieces of fabric.

Mom sucks in a breath. “The naughty hottie party! Was that today?”

“Yuppers.” I can’t help but manufacture a smile at the man who had a hand among other parts in making me. “Unfortunately, it’s women only, so you might be uncomfortable if you hang around any longer. We will totally understand if you feel the need to leave. Like right now.”

Carlotta howls with a laugh. “Honey, this man has seen more naughty nighties than the Scarlet Sage Boutique stocks in the back!”