Page 74 of We Live Here Now

73

Emily

And then I’m back in the room, gasping for breath. There’s no black smoke, just the pale light of the bulb and the remnants of ash cooling in the baking tray. I look around me. I feel for something in the house. Nothing. Just me and the bricks and mortar. No bad smell or oppressive atmosphere. It’s a lovely spacious primary suite ready to be moved in to.

I sit back on my heels, and while the world has righted itself, my head still spins with what I’ve seen of the past, what I’ve just lived , and it takes a few moments before I feel like me again. Now that I’ve lived it, I understand everything that’s been going on.

The nail in the hallway that kept appearing and disappearing. That was where Sally died. The window opening and slamming. The sound of the bedroom door opening and creaking shut. Bits of the past being visited on me. Clues as to what Joe did to Sally.

Thinking of her body lying rotting for days on the landing outside our current bedroom makes me shiver. It’s so horrifying, and it’s left me shaken, but I know it’s all true. As my breath slows down, I know with absolute certainty that Sally Freemantle was murdered and her soul torn in two. One part free and one part trapped in this room until I freed her.

I stay there in a daze until pins and needles force me to my feet. I pick up the pan and hobble out into the hallway. Still nothing. No smell. No awful sensation. Just a house with only me in it. Will Larkin Lodge get hungry again? Want a new occupant in the room? Does it attract couples with secrets? Couples like Freddie and me?

You will die here.

No, I won’t. I know the secret of the house now. I’m prepared. And despite his debts, I’m not killing Freddie. We are not like those other couples. Hannah and Christopher Hopper. Fortuna and Gerald. Joe and Sally.

Sally. Has she joined back up already? Would that be instant? What was she doing when it happened? Would Joe know? Has he noticed a change in her yet? Is she angry with him? Will she even know what happened? More than that, will Joe? My head is a whirl of questions and I’m afraid of most of the answers. But I did what Sally wanted. She can’t come after me for it, and their marriage isn’t my business.

We need to sell this house and get out. Start again somewhere else.

It’s a relief when Freddie comes home. We order Chinese, curl up together on the sofa, and watch a movie. Despite my sore breasts my period still hasn’t come, and as I lie there in his arms, I realize that I really am hoping I’m pregnant. Freddie wants to put his mistakes right. I need to do the same. A baby that is truly ours. No guilt attached. A fresh life for a fresh start. We’re not like the rest of them. We’re really not.