Page 54 of Violent Little Thing

Another Lifetime

ADONIS

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had a solo lunch with my mother. I’m not an event she typically pencils into her plans, so having her show up at my office around lunchtime surprised me enough to make me cancel my plans with Silas and Alonzo.

At the same restaurant where we had lunch on my birthday.

The same place I’d been when I found out Weston woke up.

The same place I’d been when both my parents confirmed what I always knew.

Delilah still hated me then. And last night she told me she loved me.

Silas would unironically call this a “full circle moment.”

“You know, I never wanted kids.”

My mother’s clipped words have me cocking my head to study her .

To say I’m surprised by her confession would be a lie, but it’s her need to vocalize it that has me stuck.

I know exactly what I am to her. I was the last box she needed to tick to fulfill her marriage contract.

An obligation, in simpler terms. Even as a kid, I knew that and held the knowledge close. There was no need to get upset over facts.

“What am I saying?” She shakes her head, staring at her salad plate. “That didn’t come out right.”

“I think it did.” My voice holds no inflection, no judgment.

“Adonis…you have to understand things were different back then.”

She makes thirty-four years ago sound like the Middle Ages, but I nod and let her finish.

“I accepted that I didn’t have a choice. And it was probably the worst thing I could have done. I didn’t fight back when other people were making choices for me. I didn’t know I could.”

She drops her fork and gulps her wine.

“Your father and I ended up okay. But it took some time. I respect him very much. And you…”

Her eyes travel across my face.

“You are more than we bargained for.” She messes with her perfect hair. “I don’t say that to be cruel. Just honest.”

I give her a look I hope conveys my understanding.

“You were gone for so much of your life that by the time you came home to go to college, you felt like a stranger.”

“Likewise,” I tell her.

A wistful smile replaces her frown. “You were a stranger and it was our fault. I didn’t know how to be a mother.

I was too busy resenting the choices I didn’t get to make.

I knew it was bad when you didn’t even want to spend the holidays with us.

You went to Aspen with the twins your first Christmas break of undergrad and I about lost it. ”

My brow arches. I never knew she cared where I spent my holidays.

“I don’t know why I thought you’d want to spend time with us when we’d been shipping you off since you were old enough to talk.” She lifts her shoulders, heaving an exasperated sigh. “You were simply sticking to tradition.”

“Did you and dad have a fight or something? Why are you acting so…”

“Hurt?” That sad smile makes a return to tease her lips. “I can assure you, it has nothing to do with your father.”

“Then what?”

“ You . That’s what.” She leans closer to me, and her perfume hits me with unexpected melancholy.

Frowning, I push away the memory of airport drop offs, one-sided conversations while she primped and everything in between.

“You know I was born into this,” she states casually. Too casually for someone of her background.

My mother is the offspring of one of the founding families for The Lost Rose Society. She’s the second generation of her family born into it and my father marrying her was the biggest come up of his life.

My dad’s father was a first-generation member and did well for himself and his family by working in real estate. He started as an agent and became a broker after my father was born. More than half of Wildwood was in his pocket which made him an asset to The Society.

But while my grandfather on my dad’s side was well off, my mother came from oil money.

Her family runs refineries out in the Midwest with pipelines that span across state lines.

And most people wouldn’t be able to pick them out in a room.

That kind of faceless power is dangerous, and my family has always used it to their advantage.

“All I’m saying is that so much of my life was chosen for me. Before I was even born. I resented that but I shouldn’t have made it your problem. I didn’t want kids because I didn’t want them to end up like me.”

Her slender fingers wrap around the stem of her glass.

“I kept my distance, and we see how that went.” She draws in a dramatic breath.

“Maybe in another lifetime, I’ll get it right.

Because I never wanted this for you. I never wanted you to be someone cold and distant.

Someone who killed to solve your problems. But by the time I realized that’s exactly who you are, it was too late.

You became your own person, and you were ruthless.

You didn’t need us, and it was our fault. ”

On the table, a notification pops up on my phone screen, reminding me of my next meeting. I have half an hour to eat and get across town.

But my usual urgency abandons me, and I hold eye contact with the woman across from me.

In her eyes, I might be cold and distant.

But what she doesn’t understand is that Delilah makes me feel the opposite.

I love her too much to keep being a bystander in my own life.

I never had that before. Someone who made me want to disrupt the script and write a new ending. I didn’t know people like her existed.

“Your father told me what you did. With Samuel.” Her face brightens for the first time since we greeted each other. “At first, I couldn’t believe you fell in love with someone who made you so destructive. ”

“ Protective .”

She clucks her tongue at my amendment. “Yeah, well…either way, I thought there was no way it was a good thing. But what choice did we give you? We’d been pulling your strings since you got here, and you played along for a while.

And when I framed it that way, I was proud of you for knowing exactly what you wanted and fighting for it. ”

Unexpectedly, a sentimental feeling tries to crowd my chest. It’s the first time in thirty-four years I’ve heard her say she’s proud of me. That shit is sad, not worth the pounding in my heart.

“I know those words don’t mean much from me, but I am proud of you, Adonis.

And I love you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother you needed.

I won’t make any more excuses for it.” She checks her nails, remorse knitting her brows, “I hope you live a life you’re proud of with the woman you love.

You deserve it. Nothing will happen to you. I won’t let them touch you.”

“What?”

“The Society. They won’t touch you,” she clarifies. “I have more sway than I use. Before anything else, you’re my flesh and blood. My son. You need to know nobody is going to lay a hand on you without losing it.”

“Mom—”

“I mean it, Adonis. Somebody on our family tree deserves to end up with someone they cherish. And it’s clear you cherish that woman.” A somber smile appears on her face. “I’m sorry for what I said to her when we met at the gala. I’d love to have lunch with her one of these days.”

A snort slips out before I can contain it. The thought of Delilah sitting down to share a meal with my mom is nightmare fuel. And not because I think Delilah can’t handle herself around her. She’d annihilate my mother. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. Things are still too…fresh.”

Adriana doesn’t bat an eye. “Well, we have time. I can tell she isn’t going anywhere.”