Page 42 of Violent Little Thing

Unresolved

DELILAH

I told Adonis I wanted him to help me meet Elodie, and here I am, two weeks later, no closer than I was that day at brunch.

Every time he asks me about arranging a trip to Raleigh, I find a way to bob and weave my way to another topic.

“ Maybe you should start by texting her, menace, ” he’d said last night.

But even the thought of opening a dialogue with her made my stomach ache with indecision. All the work I had Victor do just for the file to sit on my bedside collecting dust for the past two weeks.

Make no mistake, I’m not excited to see or hear from this woman. For years, I told myself I didn’t blame her for leaving. I understand why anybody would want to get away from my father. But the part of me who’s glad she got away as a wife is the same part of me who resents her as a mother .

Why did she get to be free of his wrath but not the children she created with him?

A bitter taste on my tongue robs me of the fruity flavor of my mango popsicle, so I set it down in a bowl and lean forward on the kitchen island as Titus sniffs around my feet.

“Ms. Agnes?”

She smiles at me but continues mixing cake batter. “Yes, sunshine?”

“Did you make a conscious decision not to have kids?”

Her nod comes without hesitation. “Yeah. I knew I would always be a good aunt, but I was terrified of having my own kids. I worked in childcare and helped my sister raise my nieces after her husband passed. That was enough for me.”

In silence, I watch her transfer the batter to two round cake pans, wishing my mother had the same presence of mind. Knowing my father, that choice was probably taken from her though.

“Why do you ask, sunshine?”

“My mother reached out to me, and I thought I wanted to meet her. Or at least talk to her. But…” I shake my head. “I don’t know if that’s meant to be.”

“Why not?”

“Because why is she popping up now?” I huff a frustrated breath and see the sympathy playing across her face. “Sorry, I just…”

“You don’t have to apologize to me.” Wiping down the rims of the cake pans, she shoots me a meaningful look. “I hear you, Delilah. Loud and clear.”

For a second, I contemplate my next confession. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I used to fantasize about both of my parents apologizing to me just so I could reject it.” I laugh at my own naivety.

I was so desperate for any sign of remorse that I had to create fake scenarios in my head where I was finally in a position of power.

Half the fantasy died when I pushed my father down the stairs. But now my mother has thrown her hat in the ring, and I don’t know what to do with that development.

“She might not even be sorry,” I add, staring at my palms.

The oven closes and Ms. Agnes’ hands are around mine in the next instant.

“I’m not gonna tell you you’re wrong for wanting those things, sunshine.

But what I will say is that people are disappointing.

I been on this earth for fifty-seven years and I can promise you it doesn’t get better.

The only thing you can change is how you deal with people.

Adjust your expectations and save yourself some heartache. ”

“Okay.”

“Look at me.” The earnestness in her voice coaxes my gaze up to meet hers. “You’re not wrong for how you feel, Delilah. If you wanna leave that door closed instead of walking through it, I support you. Whatever you decide, I’m on your side.”

My talk with Ms. Agnes is still on my mind later when I close my laptop for the day and lean back on the couch. I exhale after finishing yet another round of practice questions for the math portion of my GED equivalency exam.

I might hate reading, but at least it’s something I do well enough to breeze through the test subject. The problem with all my knowledge until recently coming from old encyclopedias is that I missed out on everything to do with math.

Now I understand why so many people hate it. And honestly, it doesn’t get enough hate if you ask me.

When I found out Adonis would be working late, I skipped dinner and told Ms. Agnes to keep my food in the oven with his so we could eat together later.

“What time is it?” I wonder aloud. I hadn’t checked it before closing my laptop and my eyes buck when I grab my phone and see the three numbers glaring back at me.

8:07.

I have a muddy memory of Ms. Agnes telling me bye on her way out a while ago. But I didn’t realize two hours had passed.

Getting up, I leave the living room and walk down the hall back toward the kitchen.

On his bed in the corner, Titus lifts an ear at my departure but doesn’t follow me.

Light pouring into the hall a few doors down reroutes my steps and I’m standing in the doorway of Adonis’ office before I can think about it.

“How long have you been home?” I ask his bowed head. And why didn’t you come find me?

Adonis straightens, an indulgent smile on his lips. “Stop pouting.”

He stands and walks around his desk to me.

“You were in your zone studying so I didn’t want to interrupt.”

My head tips back on its own in anticipation of the kiss he places on my lips. “Did you eat?”

“No,” he hums, kissing me again. “I was waiting for you.”

When his tongue pushes past my lips, I let it and smile at the weight of his arms engulfing me. I didn’t know Adonis had it in him to be affectionate but not a day has passed in the past two weeks where I wasn’t sheltered in his embrace from the moment he got home.

It’s turning into my favorite place. And that’s a problem because my first boyfriend is not supposed to be a man with plans to marry another woman.

Logically, my brain knows that. But my heart has an agenda of her own. “How’s your fiancée?” I mumble against his mouth, breaking the spell.

Instead of letting me go, Adonis tightens his hold on me and pins me against the wall. His semi-hard length presses into my stomach and magically, my words disappear on the tip of my tongue.

“Stop trying to piss me off, Delilah, because it’s gonna end with you crying for another orgasm like you have every night this week.”

Not another breath is wasted before he lifts me, and my legs wrap around him instinctively.

I drop my head and find solace in the crook of his neck when he grinds into me again. This time harder.

“You see how easy you just folded because I make you feel good?”

“Shut up, Adonis.”

In a clumsy attempt to right myself in his grasp, my nails curl into his biceps and I’m rewarded with another rock of his hips.

“Talk your shit now, menace,” he taunts on a whisper against my neck, licking his way around my pulse and sucking until I hiss.

“Just…a question,” I moan.

“Don’t bring up another woman when I’m making you forget your name. ”

“I know my name.” My retort is breathy and broken, not helping my case at all.

“Yeah?” Adonis stills but pulls my hips forward so the greediest part of me is notched perfectly along his length. “What’s your name?”

A longing ache at my center seals my lips and a whimper is the only thing that escapes.

“What’s your name, baby?”

By now, my nails are carving out a permanent place in his skin, but he doesn’t flinch.

“…Adonis.” It’s a whiny rendition of his name but I can feel him smile against my neck anyway.

“Not my name, baby. Yours.”

I’m moving on him again. Not on my own. I can’t do anything on my own right now but sigh. Everything I feel is because of him. Everything I hear begins and ends with his voice.

It’s…a lot.

But so fucking needed I just give in.

And when it feels like relief is only a breath away, he stops and slides me a devilish smile. “How was your day?”

“Are you serious?”

Thick fingers rake through my hair as I’m still suspended on the brink. Body pressed between him and the wall. My patience somewhere in hell while my desire is in the clouds.

Another sinful smile finds his lips and little by little, I uncurl my fingers from his arms.

“Come on.” He lowers me to my feet even though it feels like the ground is unsteady beneath me. “Let’s eat, it’s getting late.”