Page 6

I’m a living, breathing disaster. Just as aching, vast, and terrible.

The size of Braderhelm continued to impress Khalani with its vast network of tunnels. Apollo was a remarkable engineering feat, mixing natural caves with sprawling man-made caverns to support hundreds of thousands of people. Impressive didn’t do the city justice. But when she entered the pit with Serene, her mouth hung open.

She wasn’t expecting the cavern to be so massive.

Her eyes lifted to the tall ceiling. White lights hung along the stone walls, illuminating the space in a soft glow, a great dichotomy against the rough exterior of Braderhelm.

A pervasive heaviness still hung in the atmosphere, but the prisoners conversed and walked about, seeming more relaxed as they took advantage of the vast space.

A large crowd surrounded a circular crater. It was a dirt pit that extended a few feet deep into the ground, like a shallow pool with no water. Cheers rose from several prisoners as they stared into the pit, their eyes alight with excitement and adrenaline.

Khalani stepped closer to the throng in curiosity, and a series of grunts and punches echoed back. Through the crowd of people, her eyes finally found an opening to peer into the crater.

Two female prisoners were fighting, blood splattered everywhere. One of the pale girls had her sleeves rolled up to her shoulders and her dark hair pulled tight into a side braid. The other prisoner had chopped red hair, and the deadly glint in her eyes intensified as she swung a punch.

Khalani flinched as the dark-haired girl dodged the hit and drove a closed fist into the other prisoner’s jaw, knocking her flat. Blood dripped down the girl’s face, nearly the same color as her hair. Khalani thought the fight was over when the dark-haired girl leaned down for the knockout punch. But she came crashing down as the other girl side-swiped her leg.

The redhead took advantage and climbed on top, pummeling her in the face. Three punches. Four. Five. The dark-haired girl on the ground no longer moved, and the redhead stood with her arms raised in victory.

Prisoners whistled and clapped, exchanging flimsy passes labeled Shower Token, seemingly the only thing to bet with in Braderhelm. Even a few guards stood outside the ring, grinning at the raw spectacle.

The girl on the ground slowly sat up, flinching with each movement. Sweat and blood glistened on her skin, and her black hair stuck to her forehead. She crawled to the edge of the pit, light highlighting her bloodied lips and swollen eyes. But as she tried to ascend the mound, her leg gave out, sending her crashing back to the bottom.

Khalani glanced around, waiting for someone to help the poor girl, but no one made a move. Everyone focused on two male prisoners who dropped into the pit, squaring off to fight.

Her eyes shifted back to the defeated girl. Khalani preferred to blend in with the background and maintain a low profile, but she couldn’t stand there in feigned ignorance .

She left Serene’s side and barely heard her say, “Khalani, wait.”

Khalani ignored her, making her way closer to the edge of the ring. Once she found an opening to the front, she spotted the broken girl still trying to crawl away.

“Here, let me help you.” Khalani bent down and reached her hand.

She vaguely noticed the cheers halting and whispers picking up steam. She felt multiple eyes on her but ignored them. The defeated girl peered up with deep hatred pulsing from her expression, angry tears forming in the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut.

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

Khalani recoiled. The girl pushed to her hands and slowly rose to her feet, wincing in obvious pain. She hobbled shakily on one leg and lifted herself out of the pit. Taking a deep breath, she grimaced, unable to stand fully upright. After giving Khalani another irate glare, she disappeared into the crowd.

Khalani stood frozen at the top of the crater, holding her hand out like an idiot.

What just happened?

Her eyes swept around, and a couple of prisoners gave Khalani a look of sympathy…or was it pity? Most prisoners who witnessed the embarrassing act shook their heads like she’d committed a social faux pas.

An older prisoner who stood a foot taller than Khalani, her head half-shaven with several piercings through her nose and eyebrows, slowly clapped.

“Nice going, new girl. Try to help any losers out of the pit, and you’ll find yourself taking their place. Doubt you would last ten seconds.” She smirked as the warning cut through.

“She can come with me, and I’ll fill her pit up in less than ten seconds.” A burly guy with missing teeth sneered, and everyone laughed around her.

Khalani’s fists tightened, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She quickly pushed toward the back of the ring, making her way out of there as quickly as possible. If she could have any superpower at that moment, it would be invisibility .

“Khalani!” Serene’s voice pierced through her thoughts. She finally broke through the throng of people and spotted Serene’s blue hair following behind her.

“I’m sorry. Just had to get out of there,” the words rushed from her mouth when Serene approached.

“I should’ve told you. You can’t intervene with fights in the pit or help the losers. It’s taboo,” Serene explained.

Khalani shook her head, internally cursing at herself. She should’ve known better. In Braderhelm, compassion was a tumor that needed to be carved out.

“Don’t take it too hard,” Serene implored when she noticed her expression. “Just make sure not to interfere next time, okay?”

Silence filled the air between them, but Khalani pursed her lips and nodded. The notion didn’t sit well with her, but she couldn’t afford a target on her back, not in prison. Having principles was easy, but sticking to one’s principles when it required sacrifice…that was another matter entirely.

“I’m gonna walk around a little,” she said. “Need some space.” The fighting pit appeared to be the primary source of entertainment in Braderhelm, and Khalani lost her appetite for watching the bloody sport any further.

Serene frowned as if she were tempted to argue, but ultimately nodded. Khalani was grateful she didn’t have to explain herself. She was better off in solitude.

She walked through the pit, taking in her surroundings, when she spotted Takeshi Steele in the far corner. His muscular arms were folded against his chest as he leaned against the wall. His demeanor was calm, but his face radiated controlled aggression. Those watchful eyes cast around the room like a viper waiting to strike.

Suddenly, his gaze landed on her. She felt caught in a trap as his shadowed eyes held her own, narrowing, as if daring her to move.

Despite her fear and loathing, Khalani made the snap decision to approach him. She needed little convincing to understand that being on Takeshi Steele’s bad side was detrimental .

If she wanted to survive, mediating the damage she’d done during their first conversation was imperative.

She ventured toward him, fingers fumbling together as anxiety shrouded her like a veil. He scrutinized her carefully, his body shifting against the wall in response.

Approaching him was either a brilliant decision or a seriously miscalculated move. With each step, Khalani fought the urge to turn around but continued her uneasy advance. She stopped a few feet away, not willing to veer any closer.

Takeshi stood still and composed, the dangerous threat never receding from his eyes as he assessed her with a scowl.

“Hi.” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and waited. And waited.

Takeshi didn’t respond, only continued to glower in annoyance. Raw tension brushed against every inch of her body as the awkward silence expanded.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier,” she started.

“Is that so?”

She cleared her throat, his resonant voice a warning sign. Like a calm surface with a boiling current beneath.

“Yes. I’ve had a rough week. As you can imagine. I know you don’t care, but that is why I made some…illogical comments. It was not my intention to provoke or anger you.”

He tilted his head and studied her. For a brief, flickering moment of insanity, she thought he would accept her apology.

“Are you done?” he asked in a dispassionate tone.

And with that, her na?ve optimism deflated like air being sucked from her body in a vacuum.

Her brows drew together. “Umm, y-yeah. Yes. I guess I’m done.”

Takeshi’s muscles held rigid in response as he glanced away, dismissing her.

“Okay.” She fumbled her hands by her side at the renewed silence, wanting to disappear and never be found again. “I hope that settles it. I’ll leave you to your…guarding.”

Khalani resisted the urge to slap a palm to her forehead. Next time she should just ask Takeshi Steele to shoot her. That would undoubtedly receive a better response.

“Don’t waste your time hoping for things down here,” his intense voice echoed.

She turned back in surprise. Takeshi stood against the wall like an indomitable force. He was still. Too still.

“What, hoping is for the young?” she asked warily.

“No. Hoping is for the foolish. If your plan is to garner my sympathy to help your cause, you’ll be severely disappointed.” His black eyes skewered her.

“That wasn’t—I…I was trying to be nice,” she explained.

“And you expected me to be nice in return?”

“Yes. I don’t know. Maybe?”

Takeshi shook his head. “Being nice is a useless endeavor that will only bring unwanted attention. Something you appear to excel at.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I see everything.” His penetrative gaze flickered over her frame, unimpressed. “Sticking your neck out for a prisoner you don’t know. Idiotic.”

“I didn’t realize helping one another was taboo in Braderhelm.”

“Then you’re even more na?ve than you look. Actions like that will only hasten your death.”

Her skin grew hot, and she shot him a cruel glare. “Is that why you’ve killed some of your guards, because they tried to help us?” It was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with.

That got his attention. He stepped away from the wall and stalked toward her. He was like a menacing storm, chilling the air seconds before destruction. She stepped back, but he invaded her space like he owned it. He put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her against the wall. Takeshi placed his palm against the stone, centimeters from her head, utterly consuming her vision.

“Remember this.” He leaned close. “Any punishment I give is punishment deserved. If you die by my hands, it’s because you’ve earned it…and I’m not above making it hurt,” Takeshi’s voice lowered, caressing her like a blade. Savage temptation etched itself in his black spheres, pulling her in.

“Are you scared now, Kanes?” He cocked his head.

“Yes,” she admitted.

He nodded. “Good. Fear is essential to understanding consequences. And there are no shortages of those down here. If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re hoping to die. Is that it, Kanes?” He bent to whisper in her ear like he was sharing a secret. “Do you want to die?”

She stopped breathing. It was like no one else was present in that cavern as he challenged her most base instincts.

The thought of ending everything herself had crossed Khalani’s mind—even before Braderhelm—but something had always stopped her. When she was surrounded by people, the torment was easier. But when she was by herself, the truth screamed into her open mouth and echoed off the hollow caverns.

I am lost.

I am forgotten.

I am alone.

It was like another creature inhabited her body that looked and sounded like her. But it wasn’t her. She was drowning in seas that didn’t exist and living a life that was no longer hers. She was getting through the day minute by minute, and there were some minutes when she wanted time to cease completely.

The truth is, it’s not the hurt you see that’s dangerous. It’s the hurt you hide that’s the real menace.

“I don’t know.” The ugly admission broke free.

Takeshi’s gaze sharpened. “Killing yourself would be taking the easy way out. If you’re that weak, do it, and don’t waste more oxygen. If not, fight for the life you have and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“You have no idea what I’m feeling.” Her eyes sliced back to his.

“Your feelings are meaningless down here. They will feast on your tears and eat you alive when the bars close at night. You have a lot to learn before Braderhelm breaks you.”

“And how long did it take for Braderhelm to break you?” The seething question escaped her furious tongue before she could bottle the words.

Takeshi’s eyes darkened and his expression shifted ominously. She realized her mistake too late.

“You must like pain.”

So fast she barely tracked the movement, he whipped out the taser from his back pocket and pushed the metal into her side. The ensuing electric shock hurt like hell, and she yelped as her skin throbbed and trembled.

Through her shaking body, she thought she saw a hint of unrest in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a detached glare.

“Pit time is over, 317.”

A sharp pang rumbled through her chest. Her name stripped away hurt more than the electrical shock. His eyes pierced hers with disdain, and without another word, he walked away.

She held her side with one hand and wiped a stray tear with the other. Her chest felt like it was splitting, raw emotion threatening to cut her into a million pieces. She wanted to fall to her knees and cry and also wanted to punch the nearest human, even if they hadn’t wronged her.

She hated her life. She hated Takeshi Steele. She hated this place. She hated God. All the enemies were at the gates, and there was nowhere to hide or seek shelter.

Khalani had spent most of her life concealing and covering up the tortured layers of her mind, and all it took was one day for the Captain of Braderhelm to crack her down the center and expose her damaged core. The harsh truth didn’t need to be roared in the crisp air; it spilled out of her brittle bones and wandering eyes every second.

Stripped of her barriers, she was nothing but a pitifully weak and lonely mess who didn’t belong anywhere.

Not even in prison.