Page 24

I clutch the misery, fear, and sadness in my palms. I too know what it’s like to be unwanted.

Silence was a mirage.

From a distance, the vast emptiness appeared enticing, captivating even. A safe haven for the mind to be within one’s thoughts.

But as soon as you drew near, the illusion washed away and silence turned into a deafening thing. Boisterous and maddening.

Weeks passed, and Khalani hadn’t spoken to Winnie. She was never assigned to the library and never caught a glimpse of Winnie to express how much she missed her and was sorry.

And Timothy Talbot never escaped her mind.

A part of her wanted to forget the journal entirely, to not place her hope in someone from a lost generation—one responsible for forcing humanity underground in the first place. Believing in nothing would be easier.

But what if Timothy Talbot was right, and he had worked on a project to return humanity to the surface ?

The notion may have been wishful thinking of a secret master plan to save them all, but her mind clung to the information like a lifeline.

Not only had she been unable to visit Winnie in the library, but Takeshi’s only interaction with Khalani since she’d spent the night in his bed was to inform her they were taking a break from training.

He didn’t provide an explanation.

The warmhearted person who revealed his troubled past was gone. The dismissive Captain who glared in her direction with vexation and ire was all that remained.

She tried not to think about him. She really did. But her mind kept drifting back to the night she’d lain beside his warm body.

Her muscles were able to relax. Her forehead released its lines of tension. For a brief moment in time, she felt safe.

But everything and nothing changed in a single breath.

He pierced through her armored heart and never patched the hole. Why was life always like that? The ones who inflicted the most damage never thought to repair it. They just left you broken for the next person to deal with those twisted scars.

“You alright?” Serene eyed her with concern.

“I’m fine.” Khalani raked her fingers through her hair. “Just a lot on my mind.”

She didn’t tell the others about Timothy Talbot. Not when she couldn’t determine whether his journal was truth or fantasy. For now, it was her burden to carry alone. She could only wait and hope their plan to contact Hermes would work.

“Please tell me you have an update,” Khalani said to Adan as they walked to the far corner of the pit, away from prying ears.

Adan gave them an uneasy smile. “Do you guys want the good news or bad news first?”

“Good news first,” Serene deadpanned.

“The good news is that I can get the walkie to work.”

Derek frowned. “And the bad news?”

Adan heaved a deep sigh and rubbed the corners of his eyes. “ I can’t get the walkie to work down here. Apollo is too deep for the signal to get out. The signal can only be sent on the surface. In Genesis.”

With those words, a surge of disappointment and despair hung over them.

“What if we wait for another dinner at the Governor’s mansion?” Serene prodded, grasping for anything.

“That could take months. We’d be dead by then.”

Derek shook his head bitterly, staring off into the distance like he was upset at himself for beginning to hope in the first place.

“What if there’s another way?”

They snapped their heads to her.

“At the dinner, the Council said they were preparing a ball for the Tenth Anniversary of Genesis. The Governor said Braderhelm’s prisoners were being used as servants. That’s our way in,” she exclaimed.

“But the Tenth Anniversary of Genesis…that’s only a couple weeks away,” Derek argued.

“And security will be through the roof with all those guests,” Serene replied tersely.

A plan was already forming in her head. “Serene can steal a pad to ensure we’re on the list to serve at the ball. We sneak the walkie to Genesis, find a moment to slip away, and send out a signal.”

Khalani searched Adan’s face for confirmation.

“It’s possible,” Adan hesitated. “But we need to be certain no one is around to interrupt the feed. It might take a few minutes for someone from Hermes to respond. If anyone sees us, we are dead.”

“And if we don’t do this, everyone is dead anyway.” Khalani countered. “We don’t have a choice. Are you guys in?” She stared at the three of them with fragile hope in her eyes.

Serene pursed her lips. “And miss a chance to give it to those assholes again? No way. I’m in.”

Adan lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “There she goes, ready to jump into the fray without regard for her own preservation. But I don’t see any other option either. Count me in. ”

Khalani nodded. “Derek?”

Derek lifted his head, the weight of a thousand suns dripping from his eyes.

“All my life, I only wanted to help those in Apollo. And every day I spent in Braderhelm, I thought of everyone I failed by not fixing the crops or spreading the truth. I had given up. I’m not going to miss this chance to make things right.”

Khalani reached out her hand and gently squeezed his fingers. “Thank you.”

“Okay,” Adan said. “You all know the plan. Remember, there can’t be any mess-ups because we’ll only get one shot.”

One shot. Only one chance to save Apollo.

All the underground city ever brought her was despair, but it took Khalani becoming a prisoner to realize she wasn’t ready to give up on the people who caged her. There were bigger things worth fighting for.

Shit. She was starting to sound an awful lot like Timothy Talbot.

“We need to walk,” Serene whispered, inclining her head toward a guard who was sending suspicious glances their way.

They swiftly proceeded toward the front of the fighting ring to blend in with the prisoners, the raucous crowd unaware of their impending doom. Or maybe they always knew, and ignoring the inevitable was easier.

But she was done retreating into the shadows. Done accepting things out of her control.

Someone out there achieved what most thought was impossible. The underground city of Apollo was a living testament to that fact.

Impossible was just a word created to assemble boundaries.

And she was an expert at crossing those.

She cracked her neck as a bald prisoner in the pit fought a scraggly tooth man with wild black hair and fell in an unconscious heap.

Khalani impatiently patted her fingers against her side, ready to contact Hermes now . Time was the silent torturer.

“What’s got the roach up your ass? Afraid you’ll get your pathetic life handed to you in the pit again?” Dana’s characteristic snarky tone cut through the air next to her.

“Go away, Dana.” Khalani didn’t bother giving Dana the satisfaction of her gaze.

“Or what? Gonna cry on me?”

Derek turned, noticing the commotion, and stepped in front of Khalani. “Don’t you have a petri dish to crawl back to, you uncultured piece of shit?”

Dana smirked. “Look, it’s her bodyguard. Because the baby can’t fight battles herself.”

“I’m not going to ask you to leave again,” Khalani hissed through her teeth.

“Ohhh, she’s mad.” Dana’s voice grew louder. “Maybe we’ll get a ballad this time about her stupid dead mother before she kills herself and spares everyone.”

Several prisoners choked on laughter.

Blood rushed to the surface of her skin, heating her up from the inside, like a furnace about to explode.

And that’s what she did.

Khalani stepped around Derek, wound her arm back, and punched Dana in the nose, feeling cartilage break beneath her knuckles. Dana stumbled back with a yell, her feet grating against the edge of the pit. Her nose instantly turned red, and her eyes began to water.

“You bi—”

Khalani pounced forward and pushed Dana over the crater’s edge, sending them both tumbling into the pit. Gasps surrounded her as they crashed to the ground, rolling away from each other.

Ignoring the pain searing through her back, Khalani scrambled to her feet, scraping gravel from her arms.

Dana winced, rising with a snarl. “You’re fucking dead.” Dana gnashed her teeth, wiping blood from her nostril.

Khalani readied her stance and raised her arms to shield her face like Takeshi had taught her. Dana charged, throwing a wide punch aimed at her head. Khalani ducked to the right, narrowly avoiding the blow, and quickly threw a counterpunch that collided with Dana’s ear.

Dana barely reacted as she grabbed Khalani’s shoulders and kneed her in the stomach. She gasped, hunching forward, unable to catch a breath.

Dana took advantage and rammed her fist into Khalani’s face. Her ears rang from the hit, and her body jerked to the side as pain lanced through her head, like her brain was being rattled continuously with cymbals.

Her hair was suddenly pulled back in a tight grasp, and Dana’s knee met her face. Khalani jerked backward and fell to the ground in a heap. Blood poured down her face, her vision blurring in and out.

“Finish her!” a guard roared.

“Get up!” a few prisoners yelled.

She placed weight on her hands and grunted, pushing up.

The cheers of the crowd amplified.

Dana narrowed her eyes and pulled out a thin knife from her pocket. The blade’s edge caught the light and reflected in Khalani’s wide eyes.

She didn’t stop to think how Dana came to possess such a weapon. It didn’t matter.

In Braderhelm, no one intervened in pit fights.

She was on her own, even if it meant death.

But Khalani wasn’t the weak, hopeless girl Dana destroyed months ago. She’d trained diligently and learned from the best. If there was one thing she’d gained from Takeshi, it was the ability to read her opponents and exploit every possible weakness.

Khalani’s gaze remained fixed on Dana, noting the way she favored her left leg and how her elbow dropped when she threw a punch. She licked the blood that trickled past her upper lip, and Dana’s confidence faltered, her eyes widening at the unhinged look in Khalani’s eyes.

Khalani surged forward, kicking up dirt as she stalked toward her. Dana reacted exactly as she predicted, by jabbing the knife straight at her stomach. Khalani dodged to the right and punched Dana in the throat.

The knife clattered to the ground as Dana staggered back, gasping for air.

A hundred gazes fell on Khalani in amazement .

Dana tried to compose herself and launched forward in a frantic attack. Khalani dropped her body to avoid the wild hit as it raced above her head. Quick as a flash, she twisted and rammed her elbow with brutal force into Dana’s already broken nose.

A chorus of ooh’s rang out from the crowd.

Dana clutched both hands to her face, her fingers noticeably trembling. But Khalani wasn’t done.

She gripped Dana’s collar and punched the side of her head, and Dana’s knee fell to the ground.

“Take back what you said about my mother,” she rasped.

Dana shakily rose, swaying on her feet, and spat a glob of blood in her direction. “Fuck you.”

Khalani punched her again.

Dana fell to her hands and knees. Blood poured from her nose and splashed to the ground, reminiscent of the position Khalani was in when she last fought Dana in the pit.

A chorus of cheers echoed around her as Dana’s body started to shake. But it wasn’t from crying. Chills cascaded down her spine as Dana lifted her gaze. Bright-red blood seeped between the gaps in her yellowed teeth as she snickered.

“Didn’t think you had it in you. Turns out you’re just as mangled and broken as the rest of us.”

Khalani’s chest rose and fell rapidly. The painful vision of her parents’ picture tearing apart replayed once more.

Moments may fade, but scars don’t. The pain always remains.

Like a trained killer, she grabbed the knife from the ground and lowered to the balls of her feet. She placed the knife against Dana’s jugular, an eerie excitement coursing through her at the sight of Dana’s blood as the blade nicked her skin.

“You took away the last thing I cared about. You were the one that tried to ruin me like this place ruined you.” The harsh whisper grated against her tongue.

“So go ahead and finish it then,” Dana snarled.

The volume of the crowd faded into the background. All she could hear was the sound of her heartbeat raging in her chest. Khalani’s grip tightened on the knife, ready to take the final slice.

She’d been waiting for this moment for so long. To make each of her enemies pay in blood.

Her hands shook, and Khalani exhaled roughly.

Hesitating. Why was she hesitating?

Dana didn’t deserve mercy.

But Winnie’s face filled her vision. Images of the books she read, conversations they had, and the dreams she shared pierced her mind, kindling a fire that beckoned Khalani to see beyond her darkness.

People would perish. Pages could be ripped to shreds and burned beyond recognition, but Khalani’s own life meant the things that mattered most never disappeared from her—not while she remained. Winnie taught her that.

She didn’t need to take any more. What more was there to take when she already encompassed the world?

A sticky weight relinquished its hold on her body, her vision. She momentarily pushed the blade deeper into her neck and had the satisfaction of watching Dana flinch.

“Look at me,” Khalani commanded.

Dana’s first sliver of fear was present when their eyes connected.

“I’m nothing like you. I won’t ruin others to fill my empty spaces.” She leaned down to whisper, “And I don’t need to finish what I already won.”

Dana’s stare turned into shocked disbelief as Khalani dropped the knife and pulled away, leaving a piece of her darkness behind.

She lifted her head, and Derek was right at the front, his eyes completely wide. Even Serene stared at her in bewilderment, a sly smirk beginning to form on her lips. Adan and Derek reached out their hands as Khalani walked closer, and they hoisted her up from the pit.

“Didn’t think you could refuse to kill someone and still look like a badass,” Adan exclaimed, tussling her hair.

Khalani’s lips curved, and she caught sight of the Death-Zoner standing off to the side, tilting his head in curiosity. She ignored the curses and chorus of boos from the other prisoners for not ending the fight with Dana’s death.

Khalani turned and her muscles froze. Across the pit was someone who’d been watching the entire time.

Takeshi.

His muscular arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring straight at her. As if nothing else occupied the space between them. Their eyes locked, and the weight of his gaze made her muscles stiffen and her heart race.

And then, the corner of his lip lifted in a nearly imperceptibly grin.

In that simple gesture, he conveyed everything words couldn’t.

All those grueling training sessions. Every time he knocked her to the ground or criticized her form, demanding her to give more. Every look exchanged that bled fire, tenacity, and passion.

Noises grazed across her skin, clamoring for her attention. But all she saw was Takeshi’s large frame before he turned and disappeared through the crowd like a flickering shadow.

In another life, she’d forget all the horrible things he said to her. She’d race after him, asking him if he saw what happened, knowing full well he did. If he knew Khalani had the strength in her all along.

But she didn’t need to ask.

Takeshi simply understood, just like she did, all the answers that didn’t need to be questioned.

The emotions racing through her were so poignant they filled the entire room.

Hell, they filled her whole twisted universe.

Because, for once…she was damn proud of herself, too .