Page 23

If what we have is unknown, no one can spell the chaos it will reign.

Khalani released a heavy breath. Her head was buried in a soft pillow, and she groaned, stretching her legs and toes out. The satisfying sound of cracks and pops echoed in her ears. For the first time, she woke without the familiar knots burning through her spine and neck.

Her fingers clutched the cool sheets closer, and Khalani slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was Takeshi’s absence. She sat up, realizing her pillow had a lovely drool stain.

Swell.

What a wonderful departing gift that would have any man lining up outside her cell, awaiting her tantalizing company.

She promptly flipped the pillow over to hide the evidence and glanced around the empty room.

Where was Takeshi? She never heard him leave.

Almost as if he heard her thoughts, the door opened and Takeshi walked in wearing his guard uniform. He halted a few steps in, his enigmatic, surprised eyes locking with hers. “You’re awake. ”

“I just woke up.” Khalani cleared her throat, rubbing a hand through her tangled hair.

“Good. That’s…that’s good.” A line appeared between his brows. “I need to escort you back to your cell before roll call.”

“Oh, right. Almost forgot I was in prison for a split second,” she joked with a half-smile, flipping the sheets and awkwardly crawling out of his bed.

Takeshi didn’t return it. The hard mask was back in place, and his frown deepened as he followed her movement. Khalani stretched her arms behind her back, ignoring the renewed tension in the room.

“We need to talk, Kanes.”

Her brows knitted at the solemn expression on his face. “About?”

“What happened last night.”

Khalani straightened, traces of exhaustion abruptly disappearing. “Are you in trouble for what happened with Guard Barron or something? Whatever it is, I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” she reasoned, already doing mental calculations of how best to help him.

It was the least she could do after Takeshi saved her life. And since last night…something changed between them. He wasn’t her enemy anymore.

But why was he staring at her like that? Like she was the living manifestation of all his angels and demons brought to life.

“No.” He brushed a rough hand through his hair. “It’s not that.”

“What exactly are you referring to?” She stood very still, a sizable knot forming in the center of her chest. The knot grew tighter under her skin, hotter as blood pooled away from her heart.

Takeshi shifted uncomfortably.

He opened his mouth but hesitated. War waged in his eyes, but a firm resolve planted over his face.

“You already know the answer, Kanes. I brought you here for a good reason. But us sharing the same bed. Me telling you things I have no right to share with someone like you. The way you’re looking at me right now. It all has to stop.”

She recoiled. “Someone like me? ”

“Look at you, Kanes.”

The invisible knife he held threatened to split her in two. And all she could do was stand immobile in her dirty overalls.

“You’re a prisoner. And I’m not.” His jaw clenched tighter. “You were sentenced here for a reason, and my responsibility is to keep you locked up. There is nothing between us. There is no ‘we,’ and to think otherwise is laughable.”

Her muscles contracted like she was punched in the gut. The dark walls of his room were closing in around her.

Escape.

She needed to escape.

If Khalani stayed in his presence a second longer, she would explode. Every single emotion inside would shatter against the cold floor, staining every corner in her pathetic tendrils.

She rushed past him.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

“Leaving. Like you wanted. And just so you know, Takeshi.” Khalani whipped around, her heart forming into a block of solid ice. “The only thing laughable is you thinking that I would ever believe there was something between us. God wouldn’t be so cruel.”

Takeshi’s eyes tightened, a surge of pain flashing across his face, but he quickly recovered. “Glad to hear it.”

She hastily left his room, a cluster of nerves swarming her fingers, face, and chest. The weight of loathing and embarrassment threatened to pull her under, like a chunk of cement was hog-tied to her heart.

“Is it this way?” She’d already started barreling down the hall, refusing to make eye contact.

“No.” Takeshi soundly shut his door. “The other way.”

With all the dignity she could muster, Khalani turned and started walking by his side.

The callous dismissals manifested physically between them, like magnets repelling one another as they marched toward her cell in complete silence. Takeshi severed any peace or connection that rested between them. Words faded by morning. It was better that way. She was not upset.

She was just fine.

The heat of blood rushed to her face, and a pinprick of tears reached the corner of her eye. She gritted her teeth and discreetly brushed her eyes, wiping away any signs of emotion.

How could she let this happen? When did this happen?

Why did it hurt so much?

That could be the exact wake-up call she needed. She was starting to care for the one person who locked the gates to her home. What an idiot.

He played her for a fool and won.

They made it to cellblock seven in record speed. With a click of his electric pad, the metal bars slid open and she brushed past him without a second glance. Khalani fixed her gaze on the marked walls of her cell, feeling the sharp pangs of ruin grind what was left of her heart into splinters.

The bars slammed shut behind her, and Takeshi walked away without a word or utterance of regret. She wanted to scream into the cold air. Her lips trembled, but Khalani refused to cry. Refused to let Takeshi have any more power over her.

Takeshi understood the game; it was past time for Khalani to read the rules. Pieces shift, but the board never changes.

Braderhelm was no place for delusions or misguided fantasies.

That was her home. Her reality.

Heartless, cold, and cruel. Just like him.

And just like her.

****

Khalani raced up the stairs to the library. Whenever Takeshi slithered through her brain, she dug her fingers into her palms to raze those unwanted thoughts. At that rate, her hands would permanently be scarred with nail marks.

The memory of his deep voice cutting her down was like barbed wire chafing against her skin.

“Look at you, Kanes.”

Khalani grimaced and didn’t bother knocking on the library door, letting herself in. The warm aroma of books helped calm her erratic mind and reminded her of the critical task at hand. She needed to talk to Winnie about the crops and their plan to contact Hermes.

She could confide in Winnie. She trusted Winnie with her life.

And she’d started to trust Takeshi too.

A fresh lick of pain rushed through her chest, and she shook her head. Just let it go.

Let it go, you idiot.

She brushed past the bookshelves, the characteristic hymn of soft notes breezing through the air. Khalani rounded the corner, and found Winnie sitting in her chair, nodding as she read a book and sang along with the music.

“Hey, Winnie,” Khalani said as she emerged from the bookshelves.

Winnie immediately swiveled around, a radiant smile completely overtaking her face. “Oh! Khalani, my sweet girl.” Winnie turned the music off and rushed over to her, the purple fabric of her dress floating across the ground.

“Winnie’s missed your company. But you’re looking a little pale. Are you sick, dear? And what are those marks on you?” Winnie’s eyes squinted as she gently touched the bruises on her neck.

“No. I’m okay, Winnie. But I have to talk to you,” Khalani insisted.

She wasn’t okay. She was far from okay. But those damages weren’t meant to be seen or shared.

Winnie frowned but didn’t protest as Khalani pulled her to sit down. Before she could talk herself out of it, Khalani proceeded to tell Winnie everything they learned about the crop failure, the Governor’s cryptic speech in Genesis, and their plan to contact Hermes.

Winnie sat silently as Khalani spoke, an odd expression on her face. Surprise wasn’t evident in her eyes but rather a wave of anguish and recognition that threatened to buckle her fragile body. She paused as Winnie’s eyes glistened, tears forming a blanket over her gaze.

“Winnie, don’t cry. We have a plan. I’m sure Hermes will send help if we can contact them.” Khalani didn’t know if she genuinely believed that, but everything was lost if they didn’t try.

“It’s finally happening.” Winnie sobbed into her hands. “I thought it would take longer, but it’s happening now.” Tears flooded down Winnie’s cheeks.

Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean, Winnie? You knew about this?”

“Winnie was told this might happen,” Winnie’s voice cracked as she stared down at the ground.

“Who? Who told you, Winnie?”

Winnie sniffled and anxiously shook her head.

Khalani needed answers. So, she pushed.

“Winnie, whatever it is. You can tell me. You don’t have to hold whatever weight you carry yourself. I can help lighten the load, and we can figure something out together. You can trust me.”

Winnie glanced up, wet tracks gleaming down her face, and her eyes held a mystery. She bit her lip and asked hesitantly, “Do you promise Winnie can trust you, Khalani?”

The potency of the moment filled the room, and Khalani reached for Winnie’s hand.

“I promise . I would never break your trust. Winnie…my parents have been gone a long time now, and I know we aren’t related, but you have become my family.”

The emotional truth cascaded from her without hesitation or fear.

Winnie was the first person to open the dark holes within her heart and expose her to a world of color, beauty, and rapture.

Winnie taught Khalani how to love again. How to live within herself.

Because if she couldn’t forgive herself, then why should anyone else?

“Family,” Winnie whispered to herself .

Winnie locked eyes with Khalani, a determined look overshadowing her fear. Winnie stood and rushed to her desk. She rummaged through a cabinet and pulled out a black book. The one she never let Khalani read and always kept hidden.

“Do you remember when Winnie told you about Timothy Talbot?” Winnie asked.

Khalani frowned, vaguely remembering the name. “Only a little. You said he was your great-great-great grandfather or something like that?”

Winnie gave a small smile that did little to alleviate the tension on her face. “Exactly. That is Timothy Talbot.” Winnie pointed to the painting of the white-robed man walking toward a strange structure. The mysterious art grabbed her attention the first day she met Winnie.

“This was painted by him before he died and passed down through the Talbots, along with his journal.” Winnie clutched the book so hard her knuckles were turning white.

“He was a great scientist before we all went underground. Winnie was told to keep this secret. Sworn not to tell anyone but family, and now…that is you.”

Winnie handed Khalani the black journal. A weird pressure centered over her body, like she knew everything was about to change. As if all the experiences in her life led her to this singular moment.

“What does it say?”

“The truth.”

Khalani’s muscles hung taut, and she opened the ancient text.

Journal of Timothy Talbot

Day 100 After Global Meltdown (AGM)

The United Nations declared a global crisis from the nuclear fallout, and humanity faces imminent extinction. We knew this would happen, but now, the whole world knows. Panic set in. Riots cover every continent, and our select coalition of the world’s top scientists must take our Project into hiding. We live at the base now, working tirelessly every day. There is no leaving, no turning back, for the fate of the human species rests in our hands.

Day 200 AGM

They killed Hunter and Brian today. They couldn’t handle the isolation and wanted to return to their families and tell them about the Project. I’m trying to hold tears back as I write this. They were my college roommates at MIT, my best friends. And now they’re gone, lost like so many people who have perished since the bombs. But I can’t let myself cave to those emotions. I now lead the Project and must carry on. I will not succumb to the daunting pressure holding me down. The future is what I need to think of. The future is all that matters.

Day 365 AGM

The United Nations announced a lottery for underground cities. Because of the Project, our families will have a secure spot in the nearest underground city. I wish I could feel better about it. They tell people they will be underground for only a short time. They say the earth’s surface will heal, and plant life will grow again. The air will be sustainable in no time. They lie. They have to.

For the lucky that win a spot underground, they don’t know radiation levels will take hundreds of years to decrease to a habitable level. Everyone alive at this point will either die from the fallout and nuclear winter, or they will live the rest of their lives underground, never to see the sun again. Life on the surface will cease to exist. Our only hope is the Project. We need to move faster.

Day 425 AGM

Saving the world is tiring business. I have started to engage with Alan. Preliminary tests look promising.

Day 460 AGM

The status of the Project looks better every day. The sequences are nearly complete, and I have presented to the President. I should be relieved and grateful. But I feel a weight in the pit of my stomach. Some of my conversations with Alan concern me. I expressed those concerns to John, and he attempted to assuage my fears.

Day 475 AGM

We will complete the mission. There is no other alternative. John has doubts as well, but our minds won’t let us go there. If our fears are correct, we are doomed.

Day 505 AGM

Alan profoundly troubles me. Some things that have been said…does he truly have our best interests at heart? At this point, I don’t know anymore. I need to have one final talk with him. I pray that my instinct is wrong, but I cannot take the risk. Something must be done.

Day 531 AGM

Project Helix is complete. I never thought I would write these words. The team celebrates in the cave, but I don’t join them. They don’t know what I have done. We will join what family we have left in the underground cities of Apollo and Hermes. And now, it’s the waiting game.

When radiation levels decrease, Project Helix will begin its motor function, and humanity can return to the surface. Return home. This will be long after I am dead. I shall join my daughter and granddaughter in Apollo. Security closely watches me, ensuring no one spreads the truth of Project Helix. But this secret cannot die with me.

Final Journal Entry

Dear Maybell,

My sweet granddaughter. Seeing your smiles and beautiful face fills me with nothing but joy. A joy I thought I would never feel again. You look just like your mother did when she was your age. If your mother had lived longer, she would’ve been so proud of you. The radiation we’ve been exposed to on the surface has taken a toll on all of us. Indeed, I feel my body growing weaker by the day. It’s time to leave you my journal.

I know you will have many questions, sweet girl, and I wish I had all the answers. The simple truth is that there may be some forces outside of our control that don’t want to see us prosper. After my time on the Project, even I questioned whether we were worth saving. All the wars, famine, loss of life, destroying our planet…how can we be trusted again? But I look at you and see all the goodness in the world in your eyes, and then I remember. Love is worth saving. Life is worth saving. Never forget that.

I hope my fears have been misplaced, but we must prepare. There are very few in Apollo you can trust. Based on our calculations, the resources in Apollo should last for about 300 years. The surface air will be breathable before then. If there comes the point where resources decline, and we still don’t go to the surface, then you must find a way to leave Apollo. Find the truth about Project Helix. That is our only hope. Even if this happens long after you’re gone, you must pass this knowledge down through our family.

Let them know the path starts at Prometheus.

- Your loving grandfather, Timothy Talbot

Khalani silently closed the book, a sudden coldness enveloping her like a cloak. All she could focus on was the rise and fall of her chest. Her hands trembled as she handed the journal back to Winnie.

“Do you see it now?” Winnie asked, looking deep into her eyes.

“I…I need a second.”

Her breath hitched as she stood and started pacing the room. Her face tingled, and her vision grew blurry. Project Helix, Apollo, declining resources, Genesis, Prometheus…all parts of a puzzle splayed out, and she could scarcely fit the pieces together.

“The journal doesn’t say anything about what Project Helix is?” Khalani asked Winnie .

Winnie shook her head. “No. But it must have been something great, something that could save us all. And if what your friend said about the crop failure is true, then Timothy was right, and we need to leave Apollo. We need to find Project Helix.”

Khalani placed both palms against her face, her mind spinning. “But Timothy said the resources would last until the surface air is survivable again. The surface is filled with radiation, Winnie. What if he was wrong?”

“Winnie believes Timothy. What if Apollo’s been lying to us about the surface? Don’t you feel the wrongness too?”

She did feel something. Like the weight of knowledge would bury her alive.

She learned so much in the past few days…it was too much. Her world was turning upside down, and she was spinning along with it. Questions shone on every corner, and no answers were in sight.

“Winnie, they showed us the dead bodies of the Genesis workers. The burns, their skin deteriorating. They died from radiation poisoning.”

“What if it was all a show?” Winnie exclaimed. “To make us believe that the surface was still too dangerous?”

Khalani heaved a sigh and moved toward Winnie, placing a gentle hand on either side of her shoulders.

“Winnie, I know you want to believe this. I know you want to believe Timothy Talbot. Let’s just say you’re right, and Apollo has been lying to us the whole time, and some mysterious force wants us to die. Where would we even start? He said the path starts at Prometheus, but do you know where Prometheus is? We don’t even know if it’s a person, a place…” she trailed off, searching for a sign of recognition in Winnie’s gaze, an acknowledgment of how crazy it all sounded.

Winnie’s eyes blazed with hope. “Winnie doesn’t know, but don’t you want to discover the truth? We can escape to the surface and figure it out together! We’re family, right?”

Khalani glanced heavenward, pressure overwhelming her. She loved Winnie but could not watch her walk the path to self-destruction.

“We are family, Winnie. But listen to yourself. This isn’t a plan. This is suicide . If escape was even possible, we’d be aimlessly wandering a barren wasteland. That’s all the surface is now. We’d die in a few days. But we do have a plan. We contact Hermes, and I’m sure they will send us help. That is our smartest move right now, Winnie. Our only move.”

Winnie’s face transformed from conviction to despair. “Winnie hoped she could trust you.”

“You can trust me!” Khalani insisted. “I’m only looking out for you.”

Winnie turned her head and a stray tear ran down her face, piercing Khalani like shards of glass. “We’re not meant to stay underground, Khalani. We were meant for more. Winnie knows this, but you…you don’t want to leave the puppet show.”

Her stomach tumbled like she was being gutted from the inside out.

“Winnie,” she whispered.

The afternoon alarm pierced the air. “It’s time to leave.” Winnie turned her back on her.

“Winnie…we can fix this.”

“Not today, Khalani. Maybe not ever. Please, just go,” Winnie’s voice broke.

Guilt and regret mounted like spires on her chest, but too many words had been spoken, and none of them could be snatched back.

She turned and left the library, shoulders hunched like her body wanted to cave in and fade away.

Takeshi had left her a vulnerable fool.

Her relationship with Winnie was crumbling before her eyes.

Khalani had never felt more isolated. Not even when her parents were murdered.

And it was all her own doing.