Page 38 of Upon Buried Embers (Upon Buried Embers #1)

Elf

Something is bothering Rohan.

Since we took the net off that dragon and he had his meeting in the tent with his council, he’s been different with me.

No. He’s been how he was when we first met—but worse, and I realize I must have done something wrong.

I must have, but I can’t figure out what I did.

Watching him out of the corner of my eye, he speaks to Nora, who I think has been avoiding me. He speaks with her just fine, he even ruffles Melle’s head. Meanwhile, for the past three days he hasn’t asked me to braid his hair, to read the book he gave me, or to bathe him.

It shouldn’t bother me, but he always tells me to, and then he always has me braiding his hair, and to have it suddenly stop—after he told me he wants me in that way.

I don’t know what I did wrong. I tried to ask last night at dinner, but he shook his head, nodded at the dragon book he wanted me to read and ate his food before going to bed.

I sat there for a long while after, staring at the broth until it went cold. I even slept at the pole because I didn’t think I would be allowed in the bed with him, even though he has had me in there since the first night.

He didn’t even put me to bed with him, he left me there.

Maybe I can do something to not make him angry with me anymore. Maybe I can make it better.

“Are you listening?” I pull my eyes away from Rohan as Calian sighs, exasperated. “What’s wrong with you this morning, you’re distracted.”

“I’m just tired,” I say, watching Rhett go over to Rohan, their heads bent as they talk. I look away. “Sorry, I’ll listen better.”

He frowns at me but he continues. “This blade is smaller than we normally make them, but Bellamy managed to make one for you. Well, two actually, but the other isn’t ready yet.”

Calian hands me the dagger, and I reluctantly take it. It feels heavy in my palm and I grip it tightly, nerves running through me.

“We have a straw practice dummy behind the stables that you can use.” I follow Calian, still staring at the dagger. “Every morning you’re to practice with it, and then we’ll add another dagger if you’ve improved.”

We reach the back of an area I haven’t spotted before, and three straw lumps are tied to three posts. They’re shaped like the torso of a person, a rope tied around the middle to hold it in place.

Calian walks over with a large dagger and cuts through the straw with ease.

“They’re sharp, so be careful. I will come and get you for your chores when your time is up.

” A strong gust of wind and a flurry of snowflakes blows over us, and Calian looks up at the sky.

“Though we may have to be quick. A storm is coming this way soon.”

I stare at the straw as he leaves, biting my lip. I’m not a violent person, I never have been, I don’t think. Even when I was slapped and kicked, I never once fought back, I only ever begged for it to stop, until I just didn’t say anything at all.

I look down at the dagger in my hand, it’s shaking, and unease settles in my gut.

“It’s our way, you know?” Tofa says as she approaches. “We have to defend ourselves, against man or dragon.”

I sigh, squeezing the handle. “I’ve never hurt anyone before.”

She snorts. “That doesn’t come as a surprise.” She walks in front of me. “But aren’t you angry?” she asks, and my eyes flick up to hers. “You were a slave, had your life stolen.” Her eyes drop. “You still bear that mark.”

My free hand comes up to the collar around my neck. Angry… I think I am, somewhere deep down, but what good would it do? It won’t change anything.

“Anger would do no good here.”

“Anger will keep you alive,” she mutters, lifting a hand and touching the end of my braids that I had to do myself. “Anger keeps you going, anger protects you when needed.”

“Anger gets you hurt.” I saw it once with another girl. She fought—daily, and then one day when I went to the well behind Master’s home, the one that actually had water in it, I found her broken body floating in it.

“Anger may get you hurt, but you will also hurt them. The Games do not care for emotions, but it will be emotion that keeps us alive.”

“Have you been in The Games?” I ask, and she nods, looking away.

“Once, a few years back.”

“What was it like?”

She’s silent for a moment, then her haunted eyes come back to me. “Barbaric.” I swallow roughly and nod. “That’s what they call us Dragorie, but we’re nothing like what The Games put us through. What the king puts us through.”

“Are The Games needed?”

“If the king would leave us all alone, no, it wouldn’t be.” She pulls me forward in front of the straw man. “But then where would his entertainment come from?”

Tofa stays with me until my arms ache, helping me strike the dummy.

“I’ll collect the horses that are out, will you get their feed ready?” she asks, and I nod, wiping sweat from my brow.

Making my way into the stables, Beau’s laughter hits me, and I smile. I haven’t seen him all day.

He seems busy lately, and he said he’s helping prepare for everyone to go to The Glade.

I’ll see if he needs any extra help.

“Beau—”

“We should wash it right?” Beau asks, and I slow my pace, coming to a stop when I hear another voice.

“Yes!” Darcia replies, and my stomach turns. What is she doing here? “The Dragonbond will love that. You know every year he takes them off to wash and re-braid them. We can easily do it and then give it to him.”

“And we can clean Drogonah’s reins for him too.”

“He will be so thankful we took that task off his hands. He’s so busy.”

“He is,” Beau replies. “I have to do more chores for today though, shall we do it tomorrow?”

“Can we meet in the morning?” Darcia asks, and I hear them getting closer, so I duck into a stall, shushing a horse when he comes over, wondering what I’m doing.

“And then we can make some food after…” Their voices disappear, and I pop my head out of the stable, checking if they’re gone.

“What were they talking about?” I say to myself.

Entering the saddle room, I look around but I don’t see anything until my eyes catch on Drogonah’s reins, and the hair braided at the ends.

That’s what they’re washing tomorrow morning?

I bite my lip and look behind me, thinking about what they said. How it would help Rohan.

I have no other chores left to do, and it may help him not be angry at me anymore…

Glancing around me one last time, I make a decision and head over to Drogonah’s reins.

I make my way back to the cabin with the storm worsening. It’s late afternoon now after spending all my time working on how to stop Rohan from being mad at me, and every time my fingers move, pain rattles through them, but it’ll be worth it.

I was careful to wash it, and even went to the spring he showed me near the training circle and gently washed the hair with soap, making sure it was all nice and clean.

I then re-braided it the best I could, and it was my best one yet.

Then I tied it off with black ribbon just like Rohan wears on his forearms, I’ve left it on the table for him to see when he comes in.

He’s usually back before I am, so nerves settle through me once more.

Has he seen it already? Does he like it? Is he not angry at me anymore?

Reaching the cabin, I pick up some more roses at the side. They’re all pretty much thawed now, and to see them crawling up the cabin in such a way reminds me that nature is ever preserving, no matter the conditions it goes through.

I take a few with me this time. Rohan has been taking the ones I’ve been leaving out every day for him, but I didn’t leave any this morning so I will get extras to make up for it.

I’m certain it’ll make him happy and whatever he’s angry at me for will dissipate.

Now holding a bunch of roses, I count them and decide I need one more. I reach down quickly and take another, then flinch.

Lifting my hand, there’s a single line of blood welling to the surface.

For the first time, a thorn got me.

Quickly wiping it away, I take the steps and rush into the cabin, the storm picking up behind me. Shutting the door quickly, I find Rohan standing at the table, his back to me, staring down.

Nerves sink in my stomach, and I come to a halt, hands clenching around the roses.

“Hi,” I say, braving a few steps in and pulling my hood down, brushing off snow. “The storm is really bad out there, Calian says it will be in for the night now.” Silence. “Did you eat?”

Nothing.

I look down at the roses in my hand, my stomach dropping. He’s still angry at me…

I try and think of something else to say.

“Shall I get a bath ready? I… spent a long time out today, and the snow is really coming down so what better way to warm up than a bath?”

Still nothing. He must be really mad.

Tears sting the back of my eyes at his silence, and I look around the room until my eyes land on the hair on the table.

“Oh, I washed the hair on Drogonah’s reins for you.

” I bite my lip briefly. “I only had time to do one side, but I can do the other tomorrow? I made sure to keep it all together and if you look, I think it’s my best braid yet.

” I fidget, taking another step and holding the roses out. “I got you roses too—”

“What did you just say?” he asks, and my heart leaps in my throat at how quiet he said it. How… deadly.

How cold.

“I… got you roses,” I hesitate, biting my lip again.

His shoulders stiffen. “Before. That.”

“I washed the hair.” I clear my throat, pointing to it, even though he can’t see me. “I made sure to do it neatly! If… if it isn’t good you can redo it? Or I can? I won’t stop until I get it right.”

I hear him take a deep breath, and then he speaks in a tone I haven’t heard from him before.

“You took the hair from my reins?”

“Yes.”

“From Drogonah’s reins?”

“T-they were above his saddle.”

“The one that you have been told not to touch?”

I swallow roughly at the anger in his tone.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I just thought—”

He spins around, storming toward me so suddenly that I flinch back. The fury on his face is clear, and dread slithers through me at the look in his eyes.

“You just thought what, Elf?” he spits my name like it’s something horrible, and tears build once more.

I take another step back.

“I just—”

“You think you can take what isn’t yours and do what you want with it?”

“N-no—” I walk backwards when he keeps coming, fear making me tremble, lifting my free hand to my collar.

“You think because I’m lenient with you, more than others that you can go behind my back and ignore the rules?!”

I clutch the roses tighter. “I’m s-sorry.”

“You think because I’m keeping an eye on you that you can worm your way in and I’ll ignore my duties?”

“That’s not what—”

“You think giving me roses every day will soften me to you and I’d forget my duty to my clan?”

“I’m sorry,” The roses fall from my hands, hitting the floor as I trip over my own feet, tears spilling from my eyes as I right myself. “I’m sorry!”

Rohan pauses, a growl coming from him and he turns back to the table, running a hand through his hair.

“Leave.”

My heart stops. “W-what—”

“I want you to leave.”

I look down at the roses spilling all over the floor.

“But where will I—”

“Leave!” he shouts, causing me to flinch.

A whimper spills from me and then I spin around and fly out the back door, leaving him and the roses behind as I run into the storm.