Page 24 of Upon Buried Embers (Upon Buried Embers #1)

Elf

The fire in the middle of camp flares and sparks, still alight and roaring in the winter wind, yet it’s somewhat contained in its large, stone circle.

Dragorie sit around it, either on the ground or on wooden logs, drinking and eating. They’re celebrating their Dragonbond’s safe return.

A dragon, Blaise, sits off to the side, squeezed in between two tents, aiming fire at the one in the middle to keep it alight.

I eye him warily, but he preens under others’ attention when they pet him.

Even the little girl, Melle, stroked his leg, and the dragon didn’t so much as stare at her harshly.

They’re… cohabitating, like one big family.

People converse, laughing and joking, play-fighting, and some are even playing games with dice outside of a tent. Another couple is cuddling against a log, his hand up her tunic. She doesn’t seem to mind the attention if the blush on her cheeks lets us know anything.

Where’s the rape and abuse? The harming of others, the cruelty?

I sit on my own log, no one daring to sit next to me like I’m some parasite, and it makes me miss Effy.

We would sit in the store room and she would sneak me some food, then she’d tell me about her day and ask me about mine. She would brush the hair away from my face and tell me to keep my chin up, that I’m okay, even though I never was.

Tears sting my eyes. I miss her. She’s my only friend and she helped me clean the wounds Master gave me, and she pleaded on my behalf to let me out of the barn sooner, no matter if it got her hurt.

The least I can do is get her away from Master before I go. Maybe I can ask Rohan to find her somewhere to live out the rest of her days.

I sigh and observe everyone who either gives me curious looks or ignores me completely.

They seem happy to be here, excited for the feast to start and for their leader to return after going off and speaking to the one he called Dorkin. There were mentions of spies and I can only think he was referring to me, though it seems Rohan took my word that I’m not one.

It’s laughable, honestly. Me, a spy?

I pick at my fingers, lowering my head as Darcia walks past with Rhett and Beau, who gives me an apologetic smile.

He doesn’t need to do that.

I’m the outsider.

Murmurs arise a little while later, and I tear my eyes away from the fire as Rohan arrives, Kaldar and Dorkin with him. Everyone seems to quiet down when he clears his throat.

“Blackscale,” Rohan says, loud enough for all to hear, but not shouting.

“Dragonbond!” The rumbling of their voices startle me.

“Thank you all for keeping the camp in order and making warm meals upon our return. We succeeded in The Pit. We have sourced lava for our blacksmith, but it came at a cost.”

They stay silent while he speaks, and I watch Rohan standing before his clan, tall and proud, full of honor and respect as Drogonah flies overhead, circling the darkening sky.

“Tonight, we lay Ethal and Aron to rest and guide them to Morana.” Murmurs of agreements erupt.

“Before that, as you’re well aware by now, we have another among us.

” All heads turn to me, and I pull my knees up to my chest. “I took the elf, she’s under my claim.

She has other business being here, but she will help with the daily chores of clan life. ”

“She’s a spy,” someone says.

“We can’t trust an elf,” comes from a woman.

“If she’s found out we’re all dead,” a man growls.

Rohan shakes his head. “If she were a spy, it would be pitiful.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, but he isn’t wrong.

“If you’re threatened by the elf, then we need to go back to basic training.”

The woman who shouted out looks away, embarrassed.

“The elf says she has been a slave since she was young, and the collar on her neck attests to that, including the scars beneath. She will stay until she doesn’t anymore, and we’re to keep quiet about it. Anyone who has an issue with that, step up and challenge me.”

The clan is silent, and I itch to touch my neck, but resist.

“Now, enjoy the rest of the feast,” Rohan says, when no one speaks. “Night is falling, and we need to head to the lake.”

Everyone continues to eat, some going up to Rohan and walking with him, even the children around here go up to speak to him.

“Hiwa,” A small voice comes from in front of me, and I smile at Melle.

“Hi, Melle.”

“I has bwed.” She shows me the bread in her tiny hand.

“Wow, that looks like the best piece of bread there ever was.”

“It is!” she giggles, taking a bite and chewing with her mouth open.

I smile softly at her. The roundness of her cheeks and the cute braids in her hair. How adorable she is.

“Melle!” Nora shouts, and I look to see her coming this way, Darcia following.

“Go now to your mother, Melle.”

“Buts you hav no bwed.”

“That’s okay, I’m not hungry.” My stomach rumbles as if on cue.

“Your tummy says you are.” She points at it with her little finger. “Mama says no one shud go hungwy.” She hands the bread to me, as her mother gets closer.

“It’s really okay, Melle. Go on to your mother, now.”

“You don’t want my bwed?” Tears glisten in her eyes.

“No, no,” I rush out. “That’s not what—”

She lets out a loud cry, and my eyes widen in shock.

“Melle, okay, I’ll take the bread. It’s okay—”

Thwack.

My head snaps to the side, my cheek burning.

“What did you do to my daughter?!” Nora’s angry voice hits me, and I bring a hand up to my cheek.

“I’m sorry, I—”

She grabs my hair, shaking me and I cry out. “I will rip your insides out!”

I see others gather around, shouting and screaming at me as Melle cries out.

“Mama,” Melle wails in front of us, grabbing her mother’s pants.

Someone shoves me, and another tries to grab me.

Nora gets in my face and grabs my hair. “I will kill—”

“Enough!” Rohan booms, suddenly there, shoving others aside. “Let her go, Nora.”

“But—”

“Now!”

Nora lets go, picking up a crying Melle.

“Dragonbond, she did something to Melle!”

“I saw it,” Darcia says, coming over. “Melle was fine, and then she tried to take the bread off of her! Thief! Stealing from a child!”

She sneers at me, and everyone murmurs around us, causing me to curl in on myself.

“It did look suspicious,” Rhett joins in.

I tremble.

“You—” Nora comes at me again, but Rohan blocks her way.

“Enough! If anyone touches her you will have me to deal with, is that clear!”

Nora breathes heavily, but she nods, holding Melle close.

“Elf, go to the cabin.” I don’t hesitate, I get up and run, tears stinging my eyes as I feel the weight of their hate-filled stares at my back.

“Elf?” Rohan calls. I curl up in the bedroom corner, just behind the burning embers of the fire as I sniffle. “Elf!” Rohan growls, but I can’t make myself move.

I look at the poker near the fire pit, the sharp end of it, and wonder how much it will hurt. Wonder how quick it will be.

I grab it, staring at the glowing tip.

Could I get it under the collar? Shove it through?

Am I brave enough?

It will hurt, but it’s better than being here.

What else can I do? What can I ever do?

Just do it.

I bring the poker closer.

Just quickly.

I close my eyes.

Come on.

I look at my dainty wrist, maybe through here, maybe that will work—

The curtain rustles, and my eyes fly open as he pauses in the doorway. I raise my head slightly, my vision blurred from the puffiness of my eyes.

“You don’t want to do that.”

“Why?” I whisper. “What’s the point?”

“We have a deal.” I look at the glowing end.

“And?” I’m dying anyway.

“And the point is that you’re here, now, with me.”

“What if it isn’t enough?”

“Then find something that is.”

I glance at him as he creeps forward, and I don’t take my eye off of him, even when he crouches, elbows resting on his knees.

“I have nothing.”

“Then look for something else.”

“What?”

“If you have nothing, think you have nothing. Then find something else. Just one thing.”

“How can I find something in the emptiness?”

“Start with something small, but meaningful to you.”

Small but meaningful.

I look around, but I can’t think of anything.

“Effy,” he says.

My eyes fly to his. “She was always better off without me, she would get in trouble because of how she used to help me.”

“That was her choice. That is one thing. Another.”

“I…”

“Another,” he demands, tone full of command.

“B-braiding,” I blurt out. “I can learn to braid my own hair.”

He nods. “Good. And talking to Serah. Claim a part of who you are.”

“How do you know I do that?”

“Because I listen, and I watch.”

My cheeks heat.

“One more.” I shrug. I don’t know.

I bite my lip and he eyes me, his stare intense.

“What about me?”

“What?”

“I’m not small, however,” he smirks. “Including me, that’s three things, now, give it to me.” He gestures at the poker, and after a moment, I hand it over. He places it back in the fire, never once taking his eyes off of me. “Let me see.”

He reaches forward and grasps my chin, rubbing his thumb over my burning cheek. His eyes focused on it.

“Nora will come and speak to you at some point and offer her apologies. Melle told us what happened.”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. I swear,” I whisper.

“I believe you,” he says, eyes meeting mine. “Nora will receive adequate punishment, though it will be lenient.”

My shoulders tense at that. “I don’t want that,” I whisper, my eyes fluttering as his thumb continues to smooth over my cheek.

“It’s our way. I claimed you, and any punishment must go through me, but as she’s a mother and she reacted in the face of her child upset. I’ll be lenient with her.”

I nod.

“Now, do not ever try to hurt yourself again. Understand?”

I take in a shuddering breath and nod again.

We stare at each other, him looking for something I’m not sure of, and me gazing at the purple around his pupils.

“You are an interesting little thing,” he murmurs.

“I’m just me,” I say just as quietly.

“And you are more than I think you know.”

My brows furrow. “And what is that?”

“A little spark, an ember still burning, waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“For a place to ignite.”

A dragon’s roar, that usually causes me to jump every time I hear it, sounds in the distance, and after one last pass of his thumb on my cheek, Rohan drops his hand.

“Come.”

I rise and follow him. He leads me out of the cabin and we walk along the outskirts of the camp, through some trees. A few stragglers join us until eventually we come upon a lake.

I stand at the back with Rohan on a small incline as everyone gathers before us.

There is a raft, I think, in the water, and upon it lies two bodies. I quickly realize it must be Ethal and Aron, wrapped in cloth with weapons laying next to them.

Cries fill the air, the happiness of earlier disappearing as a heavy sadness settles over the clan.

Drogonah flies overhead, roaring into the night sky, a burst of flames appearing. The clan look up, and I wonder why. All of a sudden, Drogonah turns, swooping down and releasing fire once more, only now it’s aimed at the raft that is floating away.

“This lake doesn’t freeze with the dragons setting it on fire over the course of winter,” Rohan tells me.

He stands tall, arms crossed. I eye the ribbons wrapped around his forearms. “But there’s no joy in sending the dead to Morana with dragon fire, no matter that it’s what we wish for when we die. ”

He turns and looks at me intently, the reason no doubt to do with the poker.

I look back to the water, the cries growing louder now, the raft is completely engulfed by flames. The words, May Morana guide you , pass amongst the clan.

There’s no joy if the people who love you die, but I haven’t been loved in a very long time.

“I think there’s beauty in fire,” I say, and I feel his stare upon my face. “Sometimes things need to burn to start anew.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, but his reply feels like an omen. “And sometimes things just need to burn.”