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THE BUTTERFLY

H is brother died and he’s as cold as ice. We haven’t spoken since he kissed me two days ago. I wanted to tell him, let him know the last time I went to a funeral was my parents. I never went to my aunt’s. If I had gone, then it would have been to spit on her grave, maybe. My life seems to revolve around going to funerals and it makes me feel empty.

I want him to comfort me, the same way Noah’s girlfriend Molly did with him. It is selfish of me, because his brother died and I should be the one comforting him not he other way around, yet the kiss constantly spins in my mind, like a vortex it goes from the top to the bottom of my mind reminding me, it was the first time a man has kissed me.

Then he broke away, and left me yearning for more. Just like his brother did when he touched me. Maybe there’s something about me that makes them not want to cross the line.

Maybe.

The cold air bites at my skin as I stand beside Jamie, my hands inside my coat pockets, because it's so cold. The sky is gray, and the wind stirs the brittle leaves that have gathered at the edges of the graves.

I swallow hard, my throat tight, thinking about what to say. Anything to break our silence. I don’t know if words even belong here. Jamie stands beside me, motionless with his hands shoved into his jacket. I can feel the tension in him, the way his breath comes in slow, measured beats, but he says nothing.

I read out loud, the words on the headstone,

“

Ruslan Whatts

Hunter

A Hero Who Walked Among Us

Who Gave His All to Save Others

In Every Life He Saved, He Lives On

Gone But Never Forgotten.”

J amie turns to face me. It’s the first time he has acknowledged my presence the whole day. Even when we were in the diner eating, he pretended as if I wasn’t there. I don’t understand him. One minute he’s kissing me as if his life depends on it and the next he acts as if I’m invisible.

“Do you wish it was me instead of him?” I ask.

I spin to face him. “What did you just ask me?” he snaps, his voice sharp enough to cut through the air between us.

It’s as if he’s a dragon, and the words are fire—hot, furious, unrelenting. A rage that should send me running. It should make me shrink back like I’ve done too many times before.

But I don’t.

I stand my ground.

There’s no trembling in my chest. No beating drum of the scared girl who waits to be rescued.

Not this time.

“You heard me!”

He then grabs my wrist the same way he did in the woods. My mind flashes in all directions as I suspect that he’s going to kiss me again. But this time it won’t be like before, because I can feel the rage and see it in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” I ask as he pulls me toward him. My voice is broken and I’m terrified.

“I wonder if maybe I should fuck you here and now. On top of my brother’s tomb so you can pretend it is him that you’re with and not me.”

He opens my coat, with the shift of his hand, as if there were no buttons holding together. He is like a man enraged and not a man who has just lost his brother.

“Tell me that it is him you want and not me?”

I can’t, when I knew nothing about his brother apart from him saving me on Halloween and following me around. We never spoke. After he died, I learned his name. Before, he has been a ghost in my life.

A shadow.

Yet, Jamie is real and I don’t know what he wants from me.

“What do you want from me Jamie? Love? Lust?”

“Love, you can’t have from me Penelope. You will only get hurt. I cannot give you what I don’t have.”

I have no idea what he means ?

“And what is that?”

“Love!”

He growls as he removes my coat, and then yanks it off my body. I’m cold, but then he does the same thing with his coat, I know he means business.

I step back and then I tumble on top of Hunter’s freshly dug grave, this feels so wrong, but I must admit, I’ve never been so turned on in my life. It’s almost as if I’m going to be doing it with two brothers and not just one.

Jamie on top and Hunter from behind.

He lifts my dress, and I feel the strap of my bra release. His fingers graze the waistband of my panties.

I was cold, but the heat building up inside me, makes me forget and only think about what Jamie’s about to unleash on me. It makes me forget where I am or that there’s dirt beneath me.

The earth is wet with dew, and it presses into my legs as I lie there.

The moon, half-hidden behind clouds, offers only a sliver of light, casting pale, which beams across the weathered stones. I wonder if Hunter’s ghost is watching us or other ghosts?

There’s a soft creaking of the old iron gate, groaning as they shift with the wind, and the distant hum of the city miles away. There’s an occasional rustle, something moving—maybe a night creature or a flutter of wings from the dark trees—but it’s too quick, too faint to pinpoint and as I lie with Jamie on top of me with his eyes wide, I know that if anything tried to harm us, if they dared then Jamie would kill them with his bare hands. He would protect me at all cost, and he has a hunger inside of him, so big, like a volcano that hasn’t erupted in decades and now it is ready to explode.

“If you want me to stop, then just say the word,” he warns as he rips open his shirt, and I can feel his chest against mine.

Skin-to-skin rubbing against each other.

My mouth is shut tight, as I feel him yank my underwear down my legs in one go, and it’s then I scream for the first time, so loudly.

He chuckles as I yell. “Call more ghosts. Give them something to watch.”

It’s as if he’s possessed as his large hands grab me by the hip in a ruthless grip as he rubs against my dripping pussy. I can’t scream. I can’t even say a word, because he hasn’t entered me yet. The thought of him doing so makes me open wide, it makes me want to take all of him.

He takes one hand and then places my head firmly next to his mouth and his kiss isn’t gentle as it was in the woods. No he is a man with limited vision, a man who knows what he wants and right now the only thing he’s taking is all of me.

“Open your mouth wider,” he commands. I do as he says, and then he sucks on my tongue, not only sucking it, but practically pulling it out of my mouth one second and the next he is gentle.

It’s as if he’s testing me by seeing how far he can pull me before I finally cave. Then he starts to explore my mouth. No more is he being harsh, but tender yet demanding every movement keeping me guessing and as I try to focus on my mouth, his fingers are moving up and down my body to the side.

One minute he’s dipping into my entrance. The next he’s massaging my breast, and then the next he’s sliding up to my neck to hold me in place.

He’s having me guessing and the ghosts are enjoying the performance and they’re not the only ones. The once wet soil below me is even more moist, as heat builds up not only in my body but Jamie’s too.

Then he plunges not only one finger, but two inside of me and I moan into his mouth. I don’t want this moment to end.

“You’re so fucking wet. You filthy girl. All of this is what Ruslan wanted from you, and he couldn’t take it.”

I would have given him all, just as I’m doing with Jamie. It’s as if Hunter’s hands are reaching through the earth and keeping me in place, as Jamie lifts up his hips and pulls down his pants.

Then my shriek pierces through the silence as his cock tears through me. I can see the shadows of the night draw near as they want a closer look as to what is happening on top of Hunter’s grave. His thrust is merciless as if he wants to punish me for him being alive and Hunter dying. It’s as if this act isn’t just about me. It’s about him too. And maybe Hunter, which is why it is happening here and not in the cabin.

He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t even give me time to adjust to his thick cock as it stretches me as if I’m a virgin and this is for the first time. I have had sex before, but by force and not like this. Each thrust increases in rhythm and my walls initially burn from the sensation but each time, they adjust and the pain is overtaken by the pleasure.

I don’t claw him, but I’m yelling at the top of my lungs. He’s moving on top of me like some wild animal. Caveman type.

A groan slips out of him, as if he can’t get enough, then he does the strangest thing. His paces slows down, as if he doesn’t want it to end, and it feels like torture. He’s kissing me, so steady, and I’m trying to keep up with his rhythm, but it is not enough, because I want more. I want it like before, but he’s purposely punishing me by holding back. Even as he thrusts and stretches inside my pussy, it’s as if I can count the inches as he leisurely moves inside of me.

One…

He pauses for a second.

Two…

Again, another pause as he devours my lips and my tongue as he holds back stretching me some more. His cock is just at the tip of my entrance, leaving a longing in my pussy, because it wants him to fill me up again.

I wiggle against him, hoping he will take the hint and fill me up even more.

“You are mine to please. Not for you try to please yourself.”

Then it’s as if his cock becomes harder and bigger with every second. I’m scared he was never fully in me before, he was saving it all for now. I don’t know how many times I’ve come, nor how much I’ve bellowed, because my throat is so dry and my body feels weak.

I can’t hold back any longer, as he rides me through another orgasm. I’m breathing so heavily and in between it, I call out his name over and over again.

“Jamie!”

It's as if I want to cry. Then, Jamie holds on to me tightly as he starts roaring like some wild lion, jerking as if he can’t control himself. He grips my hips with both hands as he pumps me faster and faster until he can’t move anymore. The idea of us exchanging bodily fluids makes me smile, a relief, a huge satisfaction.

His laughter fills the air, and I do the same thing as he flops to the side and with his back on the ground.

I curl up my legs, lying flat on the ground as laughter spills out of me, raw and unexpected. I’m not even sure what we’re laughing at anymore. It’s not the most romantic scene—not by a long shot—but it’s the first time Jamie and I have truly connected .

The first time we’ve both let go, even just a little, and allowed the world to feel lighter.

Maybe it won’t last. Maybe this is just a brief break in the storm. Right now, under this tired sky, after a long and heavy day, it feels like enough.

Right now… it feels like hope.