Page 18 of Unseen
“No!” It was happening again. My body curled in on itself, and I fought with everything I had. “No! I don’t want you to! Not inside me!” I moaned loudly as my body betrayed me, and waves of pleasure rolled through my limbs.
“Then push.” Azriel’s words brushed past my ear as the agony of bliss tore through me. “Push me out.”
I wanted to. Oh god, I wanted to. But my sex spasmed so violently around him, holding on to him, my legs losing all strength beneath and threatening to give way completely.
With a loud, strangled “ Fuck! ” Azriel shuddered, his hands trembling against my sweat-drenched skin.
His heavy, rasping exhale washed over my cheek, and I knew it had happened.
I could feel it. I recoiled as he pumped inside me, his heat filling me, and I was sure this had all just been a nightmare.
If I could simply crawl out of my skin, I’d discover this had all simply been a dream.
But there he was, panting against my shoulder.
Azriel Caine had claimed me.
“My god, Evie. You’re perfect,” he crooned.
I closed my eyes, attempting to steady my breathing and my thundering heartbeat.
“Let go of me,” I murmured, and his hand dropped from my throat, and my hair. I jerked away from him, instantly regretting the movement as his seed spilled out of me, running down my legs.
“What a sight.” His voice was full of triumph, his hands caressing my thighs.
“Don’t touch me!” I spun on him, slapping and clawing at him, wishing I could tear him to pieces. “You are filth! You are a sinner!”
He seized my wrists, and pulled me against him. “If I am a sinner, then you are my sin.” His mouth crushed mine, another bruising, claiming kiss. I moaned into his mouth, totally involuntarily, and he nipped at my lips as he laughed. “Listen to you, wanting more already.”
“Never.” I flailed at him, fighting to get free. But he did not let me go, holding me to him, to his heated skin.
“You can’t escape me, beloved. I have been your spectre in the dark from the moment you stepped foot in this house.” He brushed another kiss against my lips, softer, somehow sweeter this time. “I know your every movement, the sound of your dreams, every thought you have. I own them all.”
I lashed out, scratching his chest and leaving behind long, red marks along his collarbone. “You will never own a single part of me, Azriel. Not one. And no matter what you force upon me, I will never give myself to you willingly. Ever.”
He merely laughed softly, and let me go. I scrambled away from him, across the bed, seizing up a sheet on my way to wrap around my naked body. I turned back to look at him, this devil who’d violated me, backlit in the firelight. He was still grinning lecherously, his shoulders heaving.
“I hate you,” I breathed. “I did not think I could hate you any more than I did, and now you have done this.”
“ We have done this, beloved.” He ambled over to the armoire, and poured himself a glass of brandy. “Now, the wedding.”
I grunted out a disbelieving laugh. “You ravish me and then expect me to discuss a wedding?”
Azriel looked at me over the edge of his glass as he took a sip. “I do, in fact. And you needn’t lie to me as you lie to yourself. We both know I did not ravage you. You rather enjoyed that. ”
“Don’t you dare presume to tell me what I felt.
” Despite my indignation, I could not silence the myriad voices in my head that told me that it had felt good.
That I had felt pleasure. He had driven my body to that height, but that was all it had been.
It was meaningless. It wasn’t real. I hadn’t wanted it, I hadn’t .
I pushed all thoughts of his skin and his scent and his warmth down, down into the darkest corner of my soul.
“No good woman would have enjoyed being humiliated thus.”
“How fortunate for me that you are not a good woman then.” He downed the remainder of his brandy, and placed the glass on the table.
His nudity did not seem to bother him at all, for he made no effort to cover himself.
It was vulgar, a man parading his body this way.
Not even Acton had been depraved enough to bed me naked.
“We have an appointment with the clerk on Tuesday. Be ready in your wedding dress then.”
“As you say, sir.”
His mouth twisted into a grin as he moved closer to me. “I do so love it when you are cynical.”
“Then you shall be well pleased with me as your wife.” I glared at him, taking a step back as he got just a little too close to me. “Do not do that again.”
“The next time I do that, I will take my time.” He closed the distance between us, and reached out to stroke a strand of my hair between his fingers. “I will eat your cunt until you see stars, beloved. And then I will fuck you as slowly as you can bear it.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I would prefer to have marital relations over and done with. You have your whore to fuck slowly. She at least seems to enjoy whatever depravity you force on her.”
“She does.” He stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers, and I jerked my head out of his reach. “Now, unless you want me to fuck you like that again, you should go back to your room.”
I stumbled away from him. “I’ve no clothes, thanks to you.”
“No one will see you.” His self-satisfied smirk was maddening.
I pulled the sheet tightly around my body, and ran for the door before he tried to seize me again. It slammed behind me, and I panicked that the servants would hear it. I ran barefoot down the stairs and hallways, back to my room.
I paused inside the door, trying to calm the thundering of blood in my ears and hear if Mary was awake. But all was quiet. I crossed the room to the dresser, and tore open the lower drawer. Inside, within a small velvet satchel, was the small pewter syringe, and a box of baking soda.
I crept as slowly as my panicked body could manage to the bathroom, and filled the syringe with water. With shaking hands, I shook a small spoonful of baking soda into the water, placing the cap on and shaking it all gently.
I winced as I inserted the syringe inside me, and pressed down on the handle.
I let out a small sigh of relief as Azriel’s spend was rinsed from me, as I was cleansed of his filth and violence.
He could violate me, he could make me a prisoner, but he would not force a child upon me. Just as his father had failed to do.
I crept through the darkness of my room, and found my nightgown. I slipped it on over my head, already feeling the marks and bruises he’d left behind, the soreness between my legs. As I stared at the canopy over my bed, I wondered - how was I going to explain any of this to Mary?
And what in God’s name was I going to say to my family?