Page 35 of Unchained

Jon stood outside the Dragon. He knew he had to talk to Levi. Something about the entire weekend had felt wrong. He didn’t want to wait. He hesitated. The world felt like it was spinning. Gus had told him everything was going to be fine, but something didn’t feel right. He didn’t want to stress Levi out, but he knew he could put his mind to ease. Or he least he hoped so.

He took a deep breath and opened the door. Jeff was onstage. He seemed at home in the spotlight. Jon’s eyes met his. Joy was written on his face; he never missed a beat as he smiled and nodded towards the bar.

Levi was behind the bar talking to James. Jon felt his heart melt. He hurried over, trying not to let his panic show.

“Jon!” Levi jumped the bar to rush over to him. Jon collapsed into the embrace. He heard James say something and saw him walk towards the stage. Happy and safe in Levi’s arms, he couldn’t care less what was said.

“Can we step outside and talk?”

The sudden look of concern on Levi’s face told him he wasn’t successful in his attempt to cover his worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Not in here.”

Levi motioned James over and whispered something to him. He nodded and stepped behind the bar.

“Did I miss something?”

“Yes, and no. James has some bartending experience and no one else is here, so he’s just gonna fill in for a bit.”

“You two ok now?”

“I think so. If I can get him to leave Jeff alone.”

“I was only gone for one weekend. What the hell are you talking about?”

Levi opened the door to the patio and motioned him outside. “You first. What was up with Gus? What did he want?”

Jon sat on the bench and lit a cigarette. He hung his head. “I’m not sure. He swears nothing’s wrong, and he just wanted me there to help with some gardening.”

“That sounds very unlike Gus. Betty was the gardener, not him.”

“Yeah, he didn’t seem to know what he was doing, but it was obvious he was faking his way through.” He looked up at the night sky.

“What are you not saying?”

Jon sighed. “Well, he said he’s got some kind of procedure coming up and will be in the hospital for a couple of days. He wouldn’t tell me what or when. I tried, and he wouldn’t budge. He said he wanted to have me make all of his medical decisions if he couldn’t. And he basically gave me orders to let him go.”

Levi’s eyes were wide. He put his arm around Jon. “I know that had to be rough.”

“It was. I kept saying it should be you.”

Levi laughed. Jon’s jaw fell as he looked up. How could he be laughing?

“He’s right. He knows you would do what he told you to do, and I wouldn’t.”

“But this isn’t good, and you damn well know it, Levi.” A tear ran down his cheek.

Levi exhaled. “I know, babe. But I also know Gus. Either he really isn’t concerned and just wanted you to know, just in case, or he is trying to protect us.” He paused, and Jon heard his neck pop. “Though, I think if he was really concerned though he would’ve made sure that you were going to be there.”

“I guess you have a point. We have to trust him.”

Levi pulled him closer, and Jon nuzzled into his neck. “It’ll be ok.”

A cough came from the door. “Guys, I hate to interrupt, but Leo came in and wants to talk to you, Levi. Something about Deb. He’s a mess.”

“I guess I’d better go see what’s wrong. Hell, he’s probably just pissed to see you here, James.”

“Hey Jon, keep me company while I smoke?”

“Sure thing.” He gave a nod to Levi as he stepped back into the bar. Jeff’s guitar was wailing through the night until the door closed, stifling its sound.

“I need to ask you something.” He stopped and looked down. “And I need to say if it looked like I was flirting with Levi when you came in, I promise I wasn’t. I know nobody trusts me.”

“I didn’t think you were. Levi looked too happy for you to be flirting with him.” Jon forced a smile.

“What’s going on?”

“Is that what you really wanted to ask?”

“No, but it feels more important.”

“Everything’s ok. We think. Just worried about Gus is all.”

“I gotcha.” He lit his cigarette. “So. I’ve been trying to figure out how you first connected with Levi. I’ve heard some rumblings, but no real details. Levi refuses to tell me. Keeps telling me it’s none of my damn business. The shit Alicia said made no damn sense to me. At least with the Levi I knew.”

Jon smirked. “Seriously? Well, maybe you didn’t really know him.”

“That’s fair. He seems different, and one thing I can gather is that everyone thinks you had something to do with it.”

“Gus seems to think so, too. Except he doesn’t really think he’s different, just finally being himself.”

“Might explain why he didn’t murder me. Is it a secret or embarrassing or something? I mean, I know it happened here, and he had to have been on stage or something for Alicia to say you ran off with a guitar player.”

“Why do you want to know?” Jon felt blood rush to his face. He turned so James wouldn’t see that he was embarrassed.

“I. I was just curious. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s just…” he trailed off.

Jon felt something off in his tone. Almost vulnerable.

“Sit down James. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

James joined him on the bench. Jon placed a hand on his shoulder. James stammered but wasn’t saying anything.

“Listen, James. I may be younger than you, but I’m a good listener. Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Well. Shit. Levi’s going to kill me. But I kinda have a thing for Jeff. I’ve never been good at this shit, and I think Levi and I were more out of convenience than any real feelings. I thought I had started doing better in love, but I tend to either drive people away or attract crazy.”

“Can I ask about Gloria?”

James dropped his head. “I don’t know. I used to think she was great, just not understanding. Besides, you know I did cheat on her. I was an idiot.”

“Have you forgiven yourself for what happened?”

“What?”

“Look. From what I’ve heard, you have made progress. Now I’m not trying to sound like Gus right now, but you have to forgive yourself. Once you can do that, I think you’ll be happier.”

“But what’s that got to do with how you seduced Levi?”

Jon laughed. “Nothing, but I don’t know if you should drunkenly serenade him without even knowing if he’s into guys…it was not the most romantic thing.”

“You did what?”

“Basically, what Alicia said was about all there was. For some reason, it clicked. I love Levi, but I honestly doubt if it hadn’t been for Alicia and her kicking me out, it would’ve gone anywhere. It was like something woke up in him. Memories long buried. He took me in out of anger. Sure, he liked me, and I liked him, but those first couple of weeks weren’t just unfettered passion and sex. There was a lot of learning, a lot of conversation about healing and trust.”

“Thanks. I think… So you’re saying to just be myself?”

“Yep. And take it slow. I think Levi’s worried you’ll go in balls to the wall and just leave a trail of destruction behind you. If you really have changed, just buy him a drink, get to know him and who knows what’ll happen. By the way, do you know if he’s even into guys?”

“I hadn’t even thought of that. Shit, what do I do?”

Jon smiled. “Well, if you just buy him a drink and get to know him, you may just get what you need. The way I see it, even if Levi and I hadn’t worked out, I knew from the moment I first talked to him I wanted to at least have him as a friend. Sure, I wanted more, but I would’ve still been happy just to have him as a friend. Sometimes we mistake lust for love. Sometimes we forget our friends are the family we choose. While it may not be the love you are expecting, the love of a friend is just as important as romance.”

Jon put his arm around James and hugged him.

“James, we should probably get in there and rescue Levi from Leo. I hear he keeps asking about me, so might as well just get these introductions over with while you think about your next step.”

As they made their way back to the door, Jon heard leaves rustling in the breeze behind them.