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Jon was staring at the picture of his father on his phone. He knew he was dead to his family. He couldn’t bear to be angry with them, though. No matter what they’d done, if they wanted him back, he would welcome them with open arms. Through all the hurt, he still loved them. The screen went dark. He felt another wave of emotion sweep over him. “That’s how easy they were gone. Everyone I have ever loved, gone in a flash of darkness and fury. When I get a job, will he push me out the door too?”

His phone rang. Had they felt his pain across the universe? Were they reaching out to apologize and comfort him? The face that popped up on the screen was Levi’s. Jon smiled through his tears and struggled to compose himself.

Levi was so happy for him, and he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He tried to mask the fact that he had been crying, but there was something in Levi’s voice that told him he wasn’t covering well. He told Levi everything he could about the job, the company, and what he needed to do to prepare, including having his suit cleaned. Levi had cut him off right after he had said that. Gus was calling, and he needed to take it. He had ended the call with more congratulations.

Jon stared at the phone after the call had ended and stared at the blank screen. “Why would Gus be calling? Levi said he hadn’t heard from him since he left. Surely he wasn’t trying to get me off the phone.”

His eyes widened. “Oh shit!”. He had told Levi he had a suit, but now he was hoping it was true. There was so much chaos in the previous month he couldn’t remember whether he had grabbed it. He went straight to the closet in the office. His suit wasn’t hanging in there. His heart sank, and he panicked. He knew even if he could muster up the courage to call Alicia that she wouldn’t answer. Even worse, she would probably burn the suit out of spite.

“It has to be here.” He furiously looked at each hanger, hoping that he was just overlooking it. Nothing.

“I don’t need to be buying a new suit right now. Where could it be? I know I packed it, and I never really unpacked at Alicia’s.” His heart sank. The last day he had been at her house, all his clothes had been in a pile on a bed.

He grabbed his suitcase. He frantically ripped it open. Clothes flew across the room. “Fuck!” He had gotten to the bottom of the case and collapsed on the floor, dejected.

Jon saw his gym bag at the bottom of the closet, even though he didn’t remember bringing it. It still looked full. He opened it and started throwing its contents. He was more hopeful. Dress socks, button-downs, and then at the very bottom, he found his suit. He pulled it out. The dark gray wool looked good, but it was as wrinkled as a shar pei.

He laughed. “I hope they don’t charge too much extra to get these wrinkles out.” He held the suit tightly while he found a hanger before pulling his ties from the bag. Thankfully, those weren’t wrinkled. Granted, there were only a few, and they were in a travel case that had been a gift from his father. He knew which tie he would wear. The red one. Not just because he could hear his father saying, “you have to wear a red tie for a job interview”. He was certain that advice was outdated. Instead, it was because his mother always said the red tie made his eyes stand out. He sighed and pulled the rest of the clothes he planned to wear out just to be sure he didn’t need anything new.

Gus is coming back this weekend. He said congrats on the interview and he wants us to come over for dinner after. He smiled. This was good. Gus really had been calling. His nerves were already getting away from him and he welcomed not being alone to replay every misstep of the day through his head after the interview. “I need to clear my head. I can’t let the stress of being unemployed, the pressure of a job interview, or my fears about a man I’m falling in love with breaking me.” He looked at the chaos in the room and saw his running shorts.

“I think that’s what I need. I’ll pick all this up when I get back, and then soak my cares away.” He laughed at himself as he changed and was out the door within minutes.