Page 6

KIMBERLY “KK”

W hen Shit Changed…

I didn’t know if I should be heart broken or over the moon about my first sexual experience. The only thing I regretted was the fact that I would’ve put off having sex a lil longer but being that I always felt safe with Darius, a feeling came over me and I just went with it. Was I curious about sex, of course, so this was looking like my opportunity. Everyone always said that you know when the time is right cause you just know, well, this was that for me. It’s not that he rushed me or even asked for it. This was something I wanted so my unexperienced, young ass initiated it, and it was more so because he was moving away.

Was Darius friend zoned? Absolutely but I’d be lying if I said I was never curious or attracted to him. He was fine and all, but we worked better as friends because he was what females would call a toxic nigga. Fine, smart, athletic build and about all that in bed.

Now I saw why females acted like plum nuts over him and what was crazy was he could really care less about them and that still didn’t matter to them. Look at Janiece, for as long as I’ve known him, he would never have a female come by when I was there. Not because we were up to no good but mainly because most females couldn’t handle our friendship. Darius wasn’t one for drama and from how pissed off he was I could tell that Janiece was the one on some bullshit.

That’s the reason why I left. When I say I had my own mess and chaos to deal with at home, the very last thing I needed was to be fighting or at it with a female over my best friend. Females were crazy about Darius, and I guess now I was like one of them. I was crazy enough to allow myself to get emotionally, and now physically, in love with him and just like my dad, he was planning on leaving. Darius should’ve been my last choice to give my virginity too but at the same time a feeling that made me feel every bit of the opposite hit me strong and out of nowhere. It was weird and I didn’t have any regrets if I was being honest.

I’ll never regret or forget my first time now because he handled me with care every step of the way even down to being concerned about making sure I was ready or not. I’d heard all types of horror stories about some people not having a choice about who their first was. I feared that Todd would sneak in my room and snatch my virginity soon just from how he’d been acting lately. Now I didn’t have that worry because Todd could never take that from me.

I knew that if I told Darius, he would either stay or figure out a way for me to go with him. Which wouldn’t work because I was a minor. I didn’t want to steal his joy, and if we ended up losing touch after he left then the most I could say was he would always hold a special part of my heart because he was my first and a very dear friend to me. He set the tone for what I should expect and how I should be treated before I really got started.

Making it home as soon as I walked inside, I felt sick to my stomach. All the lights were off except for the hallway light so I already knew what that meant; it was going to be a long night. My mom and Todd were in their bedroom having sex which brought my attention to the sticky feeling between my legs.

As I stood in the shower, I could hear my mom and Todd having sex, and as much as it disgusted me to hear them, I couldn’t help but to think about the sex I’d just had with Darius. I ran my hands down my body as I fantasized ‘bout how sensual and intimate I felt. My lower lips began to throb as I placed my hand on my opening. It was no match to the sensation I felt when Darius was French kissing my vagina but the sensation from my fingers against my swollen clit was a steady runner up. As I slowly rubbed against my nub I mentally went back to Darius’ bed. The same bed that he was probably now fucking Janiece in.

Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I focused back on me and Darius and what it felt like when his thrusts went from being painful to beyond satisfying and unforgettable. I continued to rub until a softer, not so intense version of the surge of pleasure I felt earlier with Darius returned and I felt my vaginal walls flutter.

“Whew! Gosh, stay with it Kim girl.” I coached myself as I regained my composure because I almost slipped and bust my ass in the shower.

I finished washing off then dried off and wrapped up in my bathrobe. I scurried toward my room; on the way I could hear Todd and my mom talking, and it sounded like he was close to their bedroom door. I damn near floated to my room to keep from seeing him.

While I got dressed, I stood in front of my floor-length mirror to see if it was visually obvious that I was no longer a virgin. At first look no, but as I studied all of my curves and body parts I noticed that Darius put a couple of small but dark hickeys on both of my breasts near my nipples. Running my hand across the passion marks made my lower walls contract at the thought of Darius’ sensually sucking on them. Whoever taught him how to kiss on a female’s chest taught him well because he did it so erotically, I know for a fact he could make me cum from doing it. Hell, sucking on my breasts and neck was what put me in a sexual trance.

I couldn’t help but to blush and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t do it again with Darius, yet I also knew that was out of the question. I felt super relaxed and exhausted at the same time all I needed was to put some food on my stomach and to fix myself a big cup of iced water.

Once I was dressed, I went into the kitchen and made a cup of shrimp flavored ramen in the microwave. Once the noodles were done, I put a lil butter and hot sauce in them then went to work. While I was eating my mom came into the kitchen looking at me all weird.

“Where you been Kimmie?”

“I was at the park reading.”

“Hmph, reading at the park, huh. You couldn’t just read in your room?”

“I needed some air.”

“What’s that on your neck?”

“Ion know. You might be talking about the mosquito bite I was scratching. I rubbed some alcohol on it, and it was red and puffy.”

I was lying through my teeth and my mom was looking at me like she knew I was full of shit, but she didn’t question me for some reason.

“Is there something you wanna tell me?”

“Something like what, ma?” I asked praying that she would just leave me alone so that I could go back to my room before her man surfaced.

“Like is there anything you need to tell me or talk to me about? You been acting distant, and I feel like it’s more than just period hormones.”

“Well, to be honest, there is something.”

“Okay, what is it?” My mom asked as she sat in the chair across the table from me.

“It’s Todd.”

“What about Todd?”

“Lately he has been making me feel very uncomfortable. He be saying and doing the most. Like earlier, I left because he was?—”

Before I could finish Todd’s ass came staggering into the kitchen.

“Todd what? I ain’t done shit but make my ole lady feel like a Queen.” He huffed as he walked over to the fridge and yanked a bottle of Rolling Rock off the door.

I looked at my mom with pleading eyes to not say anything. I wanted the conversation to be kept between she and I, and thankfully she didn’t.

“Moving forward Kimmie, get permission instead of just leaving. It looks like you trying to sneak around. I get you’ll be eighteen soon but long as you living here and we taking care of you, you have to be respectful. You not grown; you can’t just up and leave out whenever you feel like it. I get Todd be on yo ass sometimes because he needs to be. That’s no excuse for you to just up and leave the house and not say shit to one of us.”

I wasn’t sure if she was saying that because she had completely missed the whole point of my conversation or was she just putting on for Todd to keep his nosy ass out of our conversation.

“I wasn’t sneaking, ma. Y’all was ducked off in the room so I didn’t say anything. You always say when the door is closed if it’s not an emergency don’t come knocking. So, I respected what you say.”

“Well, something could’ve happened to you, and we wouldn’t know where you are or have a way to reach you,” my mom responded.

“If I had my cell phone this conversation wouldn’t even be happening right now. What seventeen-year-old don’t have a phone in this day and age?!” I huffed, feeling aggravated and harassed.

“Ain’t going to happen!” Todd boasted.

All I could do was roll my eyes and scarf down the rest of my noodles.

“I’ll be right back. I’m ‘bout to go pick up dinner.”

“Can I ride with you?”

“Since you was out all day you need to stay home and do your laundry.” Todd smirked then kissed my mom on the forehead.

I quickly started cleaning the kitchen so that I could lock myself up in my room cause that meant I had to be alone with Todd. I finished cleaning my mess and just as I was about to go into my room, my mom told me to make sure I started my laundry. As she left, I went into my room and gathered all of my dirty clothes. One my way to the laundry room I stopped in the bathroom and grabbed my dirty towels then headed to the laundry room.

Just as I was finished loading the washer I turned to go back to my room and bumped into Todd who was standing behind me like a creep smoking on a cigarette. He was wearing a wife beater and lounge pants and standing there staring at me, making me feel beyond uncomfortable.

I prayed that he would either leave and go to lay up with Darius mom or was too tired from just banging my mom to bother me. Yet, when he wouldn’t move out of my way, I knew in my heart tonight was going to be the night I was going to have to stab his ass.

“Tell the truth, yo fast ass wasn’t at the park was you?”

“Ion have a reason to lie,” I rebutted, trying to step around him, but he moved in front of me.

“I went to the park, you weren’t there. I know you was with that boy. If you don’t want me to tell your mom, then tell me what was you about to tell her? Something about I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“Ion know what you talkin’ about.”

“Yeah, you know. Is that a hickey on your neck?” Todd shouted. He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him then took a closer look at my neck. “Yep! That’s a muthafuckin’ hickey.”

“No, it’s not!”

“You think a muthafucka dumb? Where else you was letting him suck, lil hot in the pants ass?” He pulled the bottom of my shirt up and exposed my breasts for all of maybe two seconds before I snatched away from him.

“Keep yo hands off me!”

“Nah, fuck that, let me see. If ain’t shit there it shouldn’t matter.”

“It matters because either way I’m not showing you my chest. Leave me alone. Nothing is there. What are you even talking about?!”

“Oh, you gon’ show me them titties and more if I tell you too, gotdamn it! I got something for your ass.” Todd groped my breasts then groped my crotch. “Only one way for me to know if you been fucking. I peeped yo lil hot ass came straight in the house and right for the shower. If the nigga nutted in you a shower not gone do shit for all the nut that’s way up in there.”

“I took a shower because I was in the park! Now move!” I shouted, trying to rush past him, but he wouldn’t let me. “Get away from me for real, I’m not playin’ wit you!” I cried as my heart hammered in my chest.

He pinned me against the counter next to the sink in the laundry room and stuffed his hand into the front of my pajama pants and just as his finger was about to invade my private spot, I stomped down on his foot like I was trying to kill a king cockroach then kneed him in the dick as if I was a majorette.

“Keep yo fuckin’ hands off me! I will call the law, try me again!” I shouted.

Todd was doubled over, whining in pain as I sprinted to my bedroom. I closed the door, and my phone started ringing. When I saw that it was Darius I quickly answered.

“They saw the hickey on my neck!” I huffed into the phone.

“Oh fuck! Damn, man, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s whatever!” I responded.

“I didn’t think you was gon’ answer.”

“I could care less about your woes. I got other shit more pressin’.”

“Open this muthafuckin’ door, girl!” Todd bellowed as he pounded on my bedroom door.

“Aye, what the fuck goin’ on? You good, KK?”

“No, he tripping bad about the hickey and he—” I paused for a few seconds.

“HE what? HE WHAT?” Darius shouted.

I could hear Darius scrambling around.

“He saw the ones on my chest. He tried sticking his finger to see if you nutted in me.” I softly mumbled as I broke down crying.

“He what?! Da Fuck!? You told them we fucked?”

“No, but they not stupid, apparently.”

“Yo moms there?”

“Nope.”

“OPEN THIS DOOR!!” Todd bellowed, kicking and pounding on my door.

“Ah hell nah, why she leave you with that nigga?! I’m on my muthafuckin’ way.”

“I’m not playin’, open this damn door!” Todd continued to shout. Now it sounded like he was about to break in.

“Please hurry, Dar?—”

Was all I could get out before Todd crashed into my room and snatched my phone from me.

“Gimme this gotdamn phone!”

He snatched my phone from my hand and tossed it across the room then picked me up and threw me down on my bed.

“Stop!” I yelled.

“You don’ fucked up now!” Todd sneered.

Keeping his PJ bottoms on he whipped his dick out and it was short and fat.

“Get out of my room!” I hollered because that was the only thing I could think to say or do. “Leave me alone! Get away from me and get OUTTT!!!!” I screamed as he got on top of me, and we started tussling.

“You wanna talk back, be fast! I got something for that ass. I been waiting a looooonng muthafuckin’ time for this day to come.”

If he thought that he was going to come and just take my goods he had another thing coming. I put up a fight for my life for what felt like an eternity before Todd was airlifted off me.

Once it registered what was going on I realized that Darius had climbed through my bedroom window and was now tagging Todd’s ass.

“Get off of him you crazy ass boy!” My mom was screaming in my bedroom doorway as I sat, frozen in place on my bed. “I’m calling the police got damn it!”

Todd was fighting back but Darius was too much for him to handle. For a senior in high school, he was bigger than average in size. Darius even wrestled in the off season from football throughout all his high school years, so he was in shape and had more wind than Todd.

“This shit all yo damn fault!” My mom sneered as she ran up on me and pointed in my face. “Hello 911, get y’all damn asses here fast. My daughter’s lil boyfriend is jumping on my husband in our home and I’ma shoot him dead if y’all don’t hurry up!”

Hearing my mom say she would shoot Darius pumped a fear through me I had only felt once before in my life and that was moments after Todd barged into my room earlier.