Page 4

KIMBERLY “KK”

T hankfully his mom wasn’t home, but whoever was at their front door was not trying to leave any time soon, so he had no choice but to go see who it was.

“I’ll be back. You hungry?”

“Ion have much of an appetite forreal.”

Darius muffed me on the back of my head, causing me to spin around and softly gut punch him on the stomach. “Boy, stop playing!” I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

“You stop. Knowing yo ass greedy as hell.”

“Whatever. Remember you haven’t seen or heard from me.”

Darius gave me a head nod then went upstairs so that he could answer the door. Whoever was outside was ringing the hell out of their doorbell. I ran and stood by the stairs trying to hear if it was my mom or Todd.

I couldn’t really hear who it was, but I could hear Darius talking so I walked up a few steps and sure enough, when I heard another male voice, it confirmed what I confirmed, which was that Todd was at the door.

“I know she here but I’m gon’ roll wit it. If you see or talk to Kimmie make sure you tell her that her best bet is to brang her ass home.”

“Ain’t seen or talked to her but if I do, I ain’t tellin’ her shit!” Darius rebutted.

“Yeah okay, youngin’, fuck around and find out.”

“Find out what, nigga?” Darius shouted and from the tone of both of their voices I could tell that they were pissed off. My biggest fear was for them to start fighting because Todd was an asshole and Darius hated him. The both of them would probably give each other a run. Todd wasn’t some chump, and neither was Darius.

“The fuck you talkin’ too?” Todd hollered.

“Yo bummy ass, old man!”

“Yo problem is ain’t no man full time up in this muthafucka. You would know your place if there was.”

“Oh, I know my place; you know yours?” Darius rebutted as my heart continued to beat faster than normal.

“I gotcho old man. Let yo moms know I’ll be?—”

BAM!

Something slammed so hard it felt like the house along with my heart shook. Bolting down the stairs, I tripped and fell over the last two but that didn’t stop me as I rolled the rest of the way down. I ended up standing at the bottom of the stairs as I heard heavy footsteps heading toward the basement. It sounded like there was only one set of footsteps, so I didn’t have to run and hide out. I couldn’t help but to chuckle because I knew that there would have been way more noise if Todd was trying to come downstairs. I was paranoid for no reason.

When I heard Darius going off and cursing in the kitchen, I could tell he was fixing something to eat for us. Darius knew how to cook just about anything he liked to eat, and he actually preferred to prepare his own food instead of eating fast food. Ever since I’d known him, he’d been in sports and watching his weight was major for him. It was me that had no chill about what I ate.

Thirty minutes or so later, Darius was back in the basement carrying a tray with a plate that had a long ass homemade turkey, Swiss, lettuce, and tomato sub and two large bowls of broccoli and cheese soup. He placed the tray down on the table in front of the couch then looked over at me.

“Mannn, it took everything in me not to jaw jack that nigga. I promise to God he lucky I’m trying to be better by the day with heavy shit to lose.” He huffed then he marched back upstairs.

Shortly after he was back with a bag of Dots seasoned pretzels and two big bottles of cold alkaline water.

“He hit you again or sum?”

“No.” I quickly responded.

Darius was looking at me like he was waiting for me to explain why I was crying when I got here.

“The fuck happened then? Why this nigga come lookin’ for you?”

“He was just been doing the most lately. Ion really want to talk about it for real. What I really want is to run the hell away. If I could I promise I would.”

“You still ain’t talked to yo pops?”

“Nope. Ion have his number nor know enough information about him to find him. After my 8 th grade graduation, he basically went ghost. According to my mom, they talked once since that day and he told her that he never wanted to hear from any of us, me included, ever again.”

“You believe that shit?”

“Not really but what can I do? I just been holding onto hope that he is going to pop up when I graduate next year.”

“That’s fucked up. That nigga Todd ain’t shit. I hate you gotta go through that shit. You know you can talk to me about anything, KK. Ion give a damn how fucked up it is forreal. I hope you know that. I feel like you holdin’ back.”

“I’m already knowing, and I promise I’m not lying he didn’t hit me,” I reiterated as I took a bite from a piece of the sandwich.

“I feel fucked up for bringing this up now, but I got some shit I got to holla at you about.”

“This is already sounding scary. Please tell me you don’t have a baby on the way, Darius.” I chuckled but prayed at the same time that wasn’t the case.

“What?!” Darius roared in laughter, doubled over holding his stomach and all. “Girl, hell fuck nah! Ion play well with kids right now. I got way too much to accomplish before having a jit is even possible.”

“I mean, with you and your fan club of females you just never know.”

“Man, I might mess around but I know how to strap up, shorty.”

“What you got to tell me then?”

“I got accepted at GSU on a full football scholarship.”

“Oh my God Darius! That’s so awesome friend!” I cheered then jumped up and gave him a big, long hug.

“Appreciate it, KK.”

“No forreal, I’m so happy for you! This is what you wanted and isn’t GSU your first pick?”

“My first damn pick. I’m hella excited too. Shit’s crazy but I’ll finally be moving the fuck from round here.”

As I listened to Darius rave about his major accomplishment, I was beyond excited for him yet a lil saddened at the same time. News of Darius going away to school scared me because I still had an entire year left to deal with my mom and Todd and now, I was going to have to find a way to deal with them on my own.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just be a phone call away.”

“I’ll be fine,” I responded and prayed that I was right.

After we finished eating, it felt like the energy was a lil weird between us. I knew that it was mainly on me because I was still sitting there processing the fact that he was going away soon. Of all things I didn’t expect for him to say that yet at the same time I shouldn’t be surprised. His dad was in Georgia, and he has always talked about GSU being his top pick for football.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Now that I’ve told you I’m leaving, I feel fucked up. I’m not as excited as I was earlier.”

“Please don’t let my problems stop you from doing your big one friend. Whether you leave or stay Todd gone be an ass and my mom gone be a fool. It is what it is.”

“How do you really feel about me leaving?”

“I support you. I’m so proud and happy for you,” I responded, really meaning every word that I said.

“Nah, how do you really feel?”

“Ion know what you mean?” I rebutted, not sure what he wanted me to say but I would never deter him from doing something he had always dreamed of.

“You wanna know how I feel about leaving you?” he said and something in the way he said leaving me hit different.

Without verbally responding I looked into his eyes as he continued.

“I got mad love for you, KK. At first, I wanted more than a friendship but then our bond as friends continued to get stronger and stronger. Once you had me all the way friend zoned, I dismissed any thoughts about taking things to another level with you. Now that I’m leaving, I’m glad we didn’t take things there cause I wouldn’t want anything changing the friendship we have.”

I wanted to say ‘but leaving to go to another state won’t’, but I didn’t because again, this was a dream for Darius. Just like he had always supported me, I intended on supporting him also, even if it meant dealing with losing my best friend. It was the least I could do.

“Why you keep staring at me like that?”

“You beautiful as fuck, KK. It’s all over your face you not good tho. I wish there was a way you could come with me. Ion feel right leaving you behind like this.”

“Ion wanna live in hot ass Georgia. I’m good right here in the Midwest, sir.” I chuckled.

I’d never been to Georgia, nor have I thought to ever want to go; yet at the same time I wasn’t opposed to it forreal. Trust and believe if there were a way that I could leave with him I would, but I couldn’t.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before Darius said anything.

“Why you so quiet?”

“Ion know, just thinking.” I replied.

“About?”

I shrugged my shoulders then unexpectedly, out of nowhere, I did the one thing I never would’ve thought I would’ve done. I leaned in and Darius leaned forward, meeting me halfway then the next thing I knew we started kissing. Like, really, really, kissing and when our tongues intertwined it sent me into a mental space that I’d never felt for him before. Getting up without breaking our lip lock, I straddled his lap, and he started moaning and grinding against me. Things were moving so fast, yet it still felt like slow motion at the same time. When he slid his hand up my shirt then exposed one of my nipples, I let out a soft moan.

It felt like I was dreaming, my mind was hollering, “girl what in the fuck is y’all doing” and my body was saying, “more bitch, more! Let’s see what this nigga working with might as well he moving away anyway.”

Part of me wanted to stop but the other part of me wouldn’t allow it. Thinking about it, things between us wouldn’t be awkward cause he’d be long gone soon, so I might as well go for it. I’d rather give myself to someone that I knew for a fact loved me versus someone who just wanted to hurt and take advantage of me because they felt they could and for control.

Darius and I had never ever crossed this line but if Darius was down then fuck it, I was too. Maybe having sex would help get my mind off of the idiots I have to live with, even if it was just for a few minutes.

Breaking our French kiss, Darius began to suck on my breast, paying close attention to my nipple, occasionally flickering his tongue against my hardened nipple. It was causing my body to respond in a way that I never felt. It was like I was losing control of ability to think straight. No one had ever done anything like this to me nor made me feel this good to want to desire more. I could’ve gotten locked in this moment with Darius for forever, but I knew that wasn’t being realistic.

The bravery that engulfed me came out of nowhere and before I knew it, I was unbuckling his belt like I knew what I was doing. After I unbuttoned his jeans, he unzipped them then shimmied under me so that he could bring his pants down a little, exposing his briefs and very hard, very big penis.

Next, he moved on to my leggings and started tugging on the back of them. He slid his hands in the back and grabbed my butt. I raised up a little so that I could slide them off, leaving only my panties and top on.

“Kimberly, you sure you want this? I won’t be mad if you don’t.”

Darius always called me KK; he only called me Kimberly when he was being very serious about something. The fact that he was concerned about my mental before going there with me, when I knew how much he liked to have sex with girls meant a lot to me. That let me know that he wasn’t trying to take advantage and that he really cared.

“I promise.” I kissed his lips. “I’m very sure.”

I didn’t want to talk about it or put too much thought into it, so I removed my top and bra, exposing my bare chest then helped Darius out of his shirt. I wanted to show him that I was down with it so he wouldn’t change his mind. This was a new energy stirring between the both of us. I started rubbing on his erection and I could feel precum ooze through his underwear. I had never done anything like that before, however, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about it from watching porn. It didn’t help that I lived in a home where the adults had no issue being loud and dramatic whenever they had sex. It piqued my curiosity because it was exposed to me.

Darius was moaning and so was I. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was, and how good he was making me feel. I was so wrapped up in anticipating what it would feel like with him inside of me that I didn’t think whether it would hurt or not. I expected him to thrust inside of me from underneath, but instead he flipped me onto my back on his bed, removed my panties, then dove headfirst in my lower lips, causing a sound I’d never heard before to erupt from me.

“Ohhh my Goddd!” I moaned between biting my bottom lip. “Ww…ww…what are you doing to mee,” I moaned as my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

“Relax, let that shit out, KK.” Darius sounded so tantalizing and hypnotizing there was no way that I wasn’t in a sexual trance. He had snatched my soul through my yoni and wrapped his soft lips around it. This must have been what Keyshia Cole meant by take me away.

I’d never had sex before nor had I ever had oral. The most a guy has ever done was finger me and kiss on my neck and I only let that happen a good two times cause the guy I was with wanted to have sex, but I wasn’t ready for all that. I didn’t even let him get me to the point of having an orgasm, so I had no clue what to look forward to with Darius. That was the summer after my freshman year of high school and since then I haven’t really had any “boyfriends”. The last thing I wanted was to introduce anyone else to my toxic life and the people in it.

Darius clearly had done this before because any doubt or concerns I may have had all disappeared and all I could focus on was how sensual the moment was and how passionate he was handling me. Out of nowhere this sensation started to build from deep within and just as I took a deep breath, a bolt of the most intense pleasure shot through my whole body down to my private area that was followed by a strong release from all the tension I was holding in.

“Let me get a rubber.”

When Darius stood up, his penis was standing at full attention. I watched as he slid the condom down his shaft with ease then repositioned himself between my legs.

“You’ve done this before, right?” I shook my head no, because I felt a lil embarrassed and inexperienced. “Word! You sure you good then?”

“Please, Darius, put it in. Just be gentle if you can,” I requested cause the size he was working with looked like a lot to stuff into a small space.

“I can’t promise it won’t hurt at first, but I’ma be as gentle as I can. Thank you, KK.”

Darius was staring into my eyes with so much passion as I stared back in to his with no doubts about my decision.

“Thanks for?” I asked with a confused expression.

“Letting me be your first.”

We started kissing again as he worked his tip at my opening. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took his tongue into my mouth. I could taste the essence from my juices on his lips and tongue and surprisingly, I wasn’t feeling grossed out. In fact, I was so turned on and wet that he was able to thrust the whole tip and a little bit of his shaft into me, causing me to instantly tense up and yelp out in pain mixed with pleasure. I wrapped both of my legs around his back then interlocked them by my ankles to soothe the throb between my legs.

“Relax, look in my eyes. I gotchu you KK. You know I’ll never hurt you.”

Our eyes locked again as he repositioned himself at my opening again. After slowly pumping in and out of me, my vagina naturally opened wider to receive more of his inches. Inch by inch, once he was balls deep in, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and we both let out a whimper.

No music, no TV playing, just the sounds of Darius making me into a woman at seventeen. Once I was adjusted to his size and my body was fully relaxed, he started thrusting harder, then he grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. The angle he was in was way more intense than before. I could feel every inch of him work my ass out and I did my best to thrust back in tune with his movements.

Darius lowered his body onto mine and nestled his face in my neck as he grabbed my shoulders and vigorously thrusted inside of me. A couple of times he slid out of me and almost went into the wrong hole. I felt his body lock except for his hips then he started pumping harder and faster with so much intensity that felt so good I couldn’t do anything but wail out in pleasure. It’s crazy but the same sounds coming from me and Darius reminded me of my mom and Todd when they would have sex.

Seconds later, my walls started contracting again and Darius nutted at the same time I came. He then switched condoms and continued to grind inside of me as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the wave of sensations coursing through me while my next orgasm began to build up. I had no idea that sex felt this amazing, no wonder why that’s all some people could think about. The whole time his phone kept ringing, but he ignored it, so I did the same. But then his doorbell started ringing causing my heart to jump.

“Fuck that door. You feel so fuckin’ good. I’m not stopping. I love y?—”

Before Darius could finish, we were interrupted by someone knocking on his bedroom window, bringing us both back to reality and taking us out of our lovemaking session for sure. In all the times that I’d been over to his house, no one had ever knocked on his window. I always thought that was our thing.

“The FUCK!” He huffed, sliding out of me then quickly putting on a pair of basketball shorts.

He snatched the condom off and tossed it to the floor and I quickly got dressed, my little coochie was dripping wet and throbbing for more, but I didn’t have time to clean myself off and it looked like we were done. Thankfully he had a curtain but if he pulled it back, I didn’t want whoever it was to see me naked in his bed, so my main concern was to hurry up and get dressed.

“I promise if it’s that nigga I’m beatin’ that ass.” Darius fussed then looked over at me and saw that I was dressed. Then he stormed over to the window and peeked out. “Man, what the fuck! Take yo ass to the fuckin’ front!” He hollered.

“Come to the door then nigga!” I heard a female scream and instantly the feeling of regret started to seep in.

I should’ve known better than to let Darius, of all people, break my virginity. At the same time, I could care less about anyone he was messing with. I still felt that I’d rather give it to him than anyone else cause I knew what it was with him and all them girls all along. Now I needed to find a way to process these new feelings I’d developed for him cause it was like they all came to surface once he told me he was moving away. All I know was whatever these feelings were, I needed to get them in check and fast.