Page 13

KIMBERLY KIMMIE

E ssence by Wizkid featuring Tems was playing as I rocked my hips to the beat. In a whole zone, I started to sing along to the lyrics, “I'm strokin' your body, baby. Lovin' your body, baby.”

“As you're whinin' your body, baby. So crazy,” a deep baritone whispered in my ear and for a second, I thought the voice sounded familiar. “Lovin' your body, baby. Yeah, just like that, sexy ass. I’m Donte, what’s your name, sexy?”

“Kimmie.” I smiled as I looked into his eyes. The mixture of tequila and THC had me on the moon. As much as I would have loved for Mr. Cute to be a blast from my past, I quickly shook that thought off, knowing that Darius didn’t even live in Chicago anymore so there would be no chance of it being him. Donte was good looking, yet his face seemed so familiar to me.

I continued to dance against him as my favorite song started playing. I was so glad when they switched from house music. I loved to dance to the beat but after a while house music gave me a headache. I serenaded him as I sang every word to All the Stars by Kendrick and SZA.

“This may be the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars approach you. All the stars approach you.” I sang into his ear just on some vibing shit. “This may be the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars are closer. All the stars are closer.”

“Love, let's talk about love. Is it anything and everything you hoped for?” Donte sang along with me, shocking me that he knew the words. I gave him a smile and he winked. “I fucks with Kendrick and SZA too.” He laughed, causing me to laugh with him. “Wanna go in a room and talk about love?”

“The feeling haunts me,” I changed the words of the song. “I know the feeling haunt you,” I sang along to the verse as he started laughing.

“You got me so fucking turned on. Let me show you what this mouth do.”

“Sayless.” I responded to Donte as I followed him to a private room.

Along the way, there were people coupled up, some were making out, some damn near fucking, not giving a damn about going into a private room to do it. I glanced over the darkly lit room and was able to spot Claudia bent over a table and some dude was eating her ass.

All I could do was laugh. We were young and carefree, just having fun and exploring. I wasn’t as brazen as she was though, I couldn’t get down in a room full of people like that.

Once we found an empty room, Donte locked the door and 2012 by Chris Brown started playing.

“It’s my turn to put on a show for you.” Donte started singing along to the song. “What you know about this…”

Donte started removing his clothes as he pumped and rocked his hips like a male stripper.

“So, tonight, let's act it out and show you how it's gon’ be. I'm gon' kiss your other set of lips. Hold your body by your legs and hips,” he sang as he helped me out of my romper. “I want you to tell me to go harder, go harder. Go deeper, go deeper.” He used the words to the song as he seduced me out my thong.

High and drunk as hell, I closed my eyes and went to my forever safe space. The safe space that would ensure satisfaction every time. I went back to a time when my Pandora’s Box was cracked open, thinking about my first orgasm. The very orgasm that I had been chasing to feel ever since as Donte wasted no time serving me with some amazing tongue.

“Ouuu shit!” I squirmed as I squirted in his mouth. The sounds of him slurping my juices sent me into overdrive. I was ready to get the base knocked out my ass I was so horny.

Take You Down by Chris Brown started playing and I was more than ready to be taken down. From what I could see, Donte was working with a lil something. His dick was less than average in size but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t know how to work it. Hell, I figured if he was born with it then by now, he would have figured out what to do with it to bring pleasure but man…was I mistaken and disappointed.

Once he slid the Trojan on, he thrusted inside of me and his tip busting through my opening delivered a surge of pleasure that did nothing but tease me. For the next seven minutes, he pumped against me like it was his first time having sex. No long stroking, so deep strokes just straight jack-rabbit pumping.

To say he blew my high would be an understatement. Annoyed, horny, and unsatisfied, I had to stop him to keep from really embarrassing him.

“You can stop.”

“I’m almost there, baby. I’m ‘bout to bust a big one for you. Where you want it?”

“Excuse me?”

“You gon’ catch this nut like I caught yours?”

“Not!”

I pushed him off me then immediately checked his dick to make sure he still had a condom on.

“I was just about to nut.”

“Then jack it for all I care. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“I just wasn’t feeling it. You blew my high and all.”

“Gotdamn, it’s like that?”

“Straight like that. If I’ma have sex just for the fun of it I’ma need the base knocked out my pussy not that fast pumping, vanilla, white boy shit you was just doing.”

“Damn, that’s coldblooded.”

“I’m not trying to be a bitch; I’m just being honest.”

Thankfully the bedroom we were in had a bathroom attached, so I went into the bathroom to wash his essence off of me. Using one of my Honey Pot wipes I cleaned my vagina off then went back into the room to get dressed. Donte was sitting on the side of the bed with his dick in one hand and nut in the other. As I got ready to head out of the room, neither one of us spoke. Right before I closed the door, I looked back, and Donte was heading into the bathroom unfazed.

For the rest of the night, I vibed out but didn’t hook up with any other guys. Claudia and I had been going to these parties for a minute, and I had yet to find someone to catch and keep my attention. It was like I was cursed because no one I had hooked up with to date could hold a candle next to Darius and I really hated that for myself.

After all this time this man still had this chokehold on me. No matter how hard I tried to fight it seemed like there was always something there to remind me of him, miss him, or lust over him. I could finally say that I no longer cry at night over Darius, but the fact that I couldn’t completely get him out of my system was scary. I miss him and will always miss him because of what he meant to me, but I have learned how to replace those feelings with other feelings; in particular, sexual feelings.

It wasn’t right, but it was my way of coping and dealing with my feelings. I was addicted to intimacy and drawn to learning and exploring about all things sex like it was in my blood. Darius made my body feel ways that I hadn’t felt since, but I had adapted to pleasuring myself by watching how to do it on porn videos to get as close as I could to those feelings. Tonight, I would just have to wait to get home to finish myself off.

“I know where I remember you from.” Donte startled me as he walked up to me by the bar.

“I’m surprised you still talking to me.”

“Why would I not? Just cause you didn’t like the dick don’t mean shit. Females come a dime a dozen, baby. But yeah, I know you from around the way. You might not remember me, but I used to play ball with Darius at the park off Homan. You ole girl that used to be with him. You said your name Kimmie, but he called you KK, right?”

“Yep, that’s me.” I wanted to tell him it wasn’t, but he had caught me off guard bringing up Darius’s name.

“Do you still talk to Darius?”

“Nah, we haven’t talked in a minute. What about you?”

“Nah, once he moved, we lost contact. That was my nigga though, 100 grand. Right before he left, we had this bet going with a few of our homeboys to see who could fuck the most females before we graduated high school. We could fuck whoever without the other feeling like we smashed they girl and the only female he had a problem with sharing was you…man, if only that nigga knew I had finally got to hit.”

Annoyed and feeling disgusted, I did my best to play like I didn’t care. I didn’t know if I should be offended or not by Donte’s revelation. I knew that Darius was for the streets, but I didn’t know that he had a bet going to see who get the most ass between him and his boys. I wish I would’ve known that before we had sex…but then again, it is what it is. I just wondered if he was bullshitting me or being real when he expressed how he felt about me. I guess it was time for me to finally cut the emotional chord that I had for Darius and set myself free.