Page 15

Brittany

A s soon as I got to my room, I stripped off and headed for the shower. I couldn’t take any more stress today. The headache that had eased up before, now pounded, and I hoped the sensation of hot water running on the back of my neck would ease the tension in my shoulders.

Standing there under the showerhead, Tusk’s words keep echoing in my mind. There was no male voice to soothe her in the womb. She should have had that. He’s not wrong about that, and it makes me feel like shit. Her father should have been there during the pregnancy. Only that’s not something I really thought about. Of course, I talked to our baby while she was in my belly. At first, I just thought it was some kind of fantasy conversation, but later in the pregnancy, she would kick when I talked to her. When I realized that she might be able to hear or sense me talking to her, it was on. I rubbed my belly and talked to her a lot.

Tusk is right. Our baby should have had a male voice talking to her as well. I don’t know why that thought never occurred to me. Maybe because I had it firmly in my mind that he was back with his ex-wife and therefore wouldn’t be interested in the baby we made together. This is my first baby, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I console myself with that thought as I soap myself up and finish my shower. After drying off, I pull on nightclothes and head out to the bedroom.

Clara is there, rearranging the bassinet that her toddlers outgrew, for Victoria. It’s a nice one that breaks apart into two pieces, the frame and big basket that holds the baby.

She glances up at me, temporarily ignoring the elephant in the room. “Alright, it’s as good as it’s going to get.” When I don’t respond, she adds, “When Tusk is finished being an ass, you can lay her down for a good night’s sleep. If you need a break at some point in the night, you can bring her to me and Tex.”

“Thanks, but I’m sure that I’ll be fine taking care of her myself.”

Handing me a comb to get the tangles out of my hair before it dries that way, she tells me, “I just want you to know that you have options. You’re in transition right now, so relying on your best friend is nothing to be ashamed of.”

When she sits down at the foot of the bed, I turn slightly in my chair to face her and begin running the comb through my hair. “Speaking of things I’m ashamed of, he’s right, you know?”

Her face is still carrying a hint of anger from earlier. “Yeah, I get that. My problem is that he’s just shooting off at the mouth in front of anyone who happens to be around instead of having a private conversation about it.”

“He’s got a right to be disappointed in me, angry even.”

“Yeah,” she says imploringly, “but you have to know there’s a right way and a wrong way to bring things like this up.”

“I think that sometimes when we make stupid mistakes that hurt the people we love, maybe we deserve an off-the-cuff comment or two. At least with Tusk, I don’t have to worry about where he stands on a subject or what he’s thinking. He comes right out with it.”

Clara rolls her eyes. “Tusk is a straight shooter, I’ll give you that. And I know you appreciate that quality in a man. But don’t let him trample over your feelings simply because you feel guilty for zigging when you should have zagged.”

I glance towards the door, suddenly I miss Victoria. Surely, Tusk is tired of walking around with her by now. My arms feel empty—so much so that I begin to tear up. Clara comes to sit on the arm of the chair and puts her arm around me. “Oh, sweetie, don’t cry. If you want, I’ll go get your baby for you.”

My head jerks up, and I realize that I’m just being overly emotional. I tell her, “No, don’t do that. He’s her father and has a right to spend time with her. I think we all need to realize that my hormones are still all over the place. I don’t want everyone to blame Tusk every time I get emotional. He’s a good man who doesn’t deserve that.”

She gives me an affectionate squeeze. “I’ve known Tusk for years. My sister didn’t know what she had with him. That’s why she threw it all away on an affair. I’m not going to get into all that, but suffice to say, I totally agree that he’s a good man. The part you’re forgetting is that you’re a good woman. Both of you deserve understanding and respect from each other. That’s all I’m saying.”

Before I can respond, there’s a knock at the door, and Tusk walks in with our sleeping baby. She looks content, conked out on his big shoulder. I come to my feet and motion him over to the bassinet. “Clara changed out the sheet. Let’s go ahead and lay her down.”

I’m vaguely aware that my friend is slipping out the door and closing it quietly behind her and giving us some alone time.

Tusk pads over on bare feet and lays her down on her back. I try not to notice that the man has gorgeous feet, but I can’t help but notice the way his jeans hug his ass. Where did that thought even come from? It’s probably because he wanted to have sex earlier. I was a damned idiot for turning him down, especially when I want him so damn much it hurts.

He fusses with her blanket, removing a tiny stuffed bear. When he is satisfied that all is as it should be, he turns to me.

“Want to talk, or want me to get the hell out of your private space?” Sticking his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, he adds, “In case you want to know what I want, I’d like to stay and talk for a bit.”

I motion over to the little impromptu seating area. It’s really just a chair and a cube coffee table that doubles as another seat. When I get ready to sit on it, Tusk says, “Absolutely not. You take the comfortable seat. Since I didn’t recently push a fuckin’ baby out, I can sit on the cube.”

I don’t even hesitate. Instead, I pivot over to the armchair. It’s really a comfortable rocker and rocking chair combo—by far my favorite seat in Clara and Tex’s place. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He mumbles, “You’re more than welcome.” Making himself as comfortable as he can on the cube, he looks me in the eye. “I guess I’ll go first.” Without hesitating to see if I agree, he launches into his grievances with me.

“I didn’t mean to come off as rude earlier. I love you, but I’m real fuckin’ disappointed and angry that I missed out on everything to do with the pregnancy and birth. I didn’t get to pick out a pregnancy test kit and see it turn positive, go to pregnancy classes with you, or be present for the baby’s first sonogram. I didn’t see you heavy with my child or get to touch your belly or even see our child being born. All those are special moments I didn’t get because you ran off carrying my child and didn’t want me involved.”

I cut in quickly, “I’m deeply sorry for that, Tusk. I just—”

He cuts me off. “Look, Brittany, I’m not trying to be any kind of way with you. No matter what your reasoning was or how sorry you are, there is no fuckin’ way you can go back and make any of that up to me. But it’s all ancient history. I’m just gonna have to deal with missing all those special moments in my daughter’s life. I want to get that out in the open and talk about it rather than just let it fester below the surface, spoiling whatever chance we have to make a life together.”

“I get where you’re coming from with that. And I know saying I’m sorry won’t magically make things right again, but I want you to know that I deeply regret leaving you out of the pregnancy. If I could do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. I just thought you had got back with your ex-wife and wouldn’t want another woman around messing things up for you.”

“Here’s something I want you to think about. No matter whether or not you and I are together, Victoria will always be my daughter. This idea that if I didn’t want you, I didn’t want to be in my daughter’s life either was flat-out wrong. You’re my girl. You have been since the first fuckin’ minute I laid eyes on you, and if I have my way, that ain’t never gonna change. But even if you weren’t mine, Victoria still would be. I don’t want to be left out of anything to do with my daughter ever again.”

I nod getting choked up. “Yeah, I totally understand.”

He picks me up and sits down in the armchair with me on his lap, just like old times. “Good. It was dumb bringing Gina to the clubhouse. I should have made it clear to her that you were a part of my life and that me and her were over. I’m also sorry I didn’t introduce you to my boys and let them get to know you…”

I start to speak, “I understand, you wouldn’t want them to know you were dating a club girl—”

“That’s not it. I was just too damn worried about rocking the boat with Gina. I didn’t want her to try and stop me seeing my kids. But that’s gonna change. I’ll make sure she and my boys know that you and Victoria are part of my life, and you aren’t going anywhere.”

I smile and lay my cheek against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

“Do you want to lie down with me and catch some Zs? You look exhausted.”

I tilt my head to look up at him and raise an eyebrow. “Are you offering to cuddle me and sleep too or is this a ploy to get me in the sack?”

The smile on his face lights up my world. “It’s been too long since I fell asleep with you in my arms.”

I tell him hesitantly, “I might even be up for what you offered before.”

He gazes intently down at me, then gently stokes his finger along my jaw. “I don’t want to rush you with anything. Let’s just see where the night goes. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” He gives my hands a squeeze and adds, “Holding you and sneaking a kiss or two is more than enough for me.”

Yeah, but it’s probably not going to be enough for me. All I’ve done is daydream about all the amazing sex we used to have since I left him. Seeing him again, and especially the kiss we shared earlier has sent my hormones wild. I reach for him and tell him softly, “I trust you.” And that’s all it takes for him to scoop me up in his arms and carry me towards the bed.

After sitting me down, he begins stripping off his clothing, all the way down to his underwear. Then he shoves them slowly down his legs, causing his huge cock to spring free. My hungry eyes eat him up, because he’s all sexy muscles, gorgeous tattoos, and brazen as hell. I love his lopsided grin when he throws himself down on the bed.

I’m wearing a thin nightgown with a robe over it. His expression fills with dark lust in a matter of seconds. I shrug off the robe and crawl under the blankets he’s holding back for me. Tusk curls around me in a protective pose. I shiver at the feel of his warm skin gliding against mine. His clean, masculine scent overwhelms me in the best way.

When I look up at him, he tangles his hand in my hair and tilts my head back to gaze into my eyes. I don’t know what he sees when he looks into my eyes, but I see a storm of emotions in his. There is intense longing, barely contained hunger, and frustration over the months we spent apart along with that all-too-familiar overlay of possessiveness.

He murmurs, “You should have never left me.” He’s saying that because he missed me, not to grind on his former point. I can tell the difference because I know him so well.

“You came for me, and that’s what matters,” I whisper back. “Now, I’m all yours again.”

When I say that, the tightness in his expression relaxes a bit. There is a brief pause, and then he brings his forehead down to rest against mine. “I pray that’s true, for our sakes and our daughter’s sake.”

When he pulls back, his lips come down on mine, hard and demanding. This was a kiss born of months of frustration about not being with me, worrying over my safety and feeling abandoned by the woman who swore her undying love to him. He pours his heart and soul into this one kiss, hoping that I’ll catch a glimpse of the raw emotions he’s daring to share.

I soften under him, giving him all that he needs to feel secure in this moment. The kiss he steals is long, rough and sensual, making me remember all of the things I love about being with him. His teeth scrape against my bottom lip before his tongue comes out to swipe away the sting. Then his tongue sweeps into claim my mouth in one of the most dominating interactions we’ve ever had.

And just like that, we’re back in the zone. It’s like I never left, and the attraction between us is swelling to the point of sparking a full-blown inferno. It’s always been like this between us. We lose ourselves to the joy of being together again. He’s crushing my body to his and I’m clinging to him like he’s the most important thing in my world, because outside of my daughter he is the most important person in my life.

When he moves down my body, I realize my breasts are thankfully not swollen with milk at the moment. Tusk still lingers there, holding my breasts in his hands and giving them a gentle squeeze, as if he’s unsure if touching my breasts is allowed. I shift forward slightly, putting my breasts more fully into his hands.

His eyes flicker up to mine and back down to my breasts. I see his tongue come out to slide against his bottom slip. I know all the way down my bones that he’s curious about what his daughter is so eager to gobble up.

“You want a taste, don’t you?” I say the words in a low tone, careful not to seem judgmental.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to mess you up,” he says as he glances away.

I decide to play his little game. “I wouldn’t be messed up. I’d be curious if I were you too.”

His eyes lift to mine again and although his expression sounds doubtful, he asks, “Are you serious.”

“Yes, of course I am.” Twisting my shoulders to make my breast more prominent. “Look how much larger and plumper they are. When you touch my breasts, the only thing running through my mind is how amazing it was having your mouth on me when we were together before. You really knew how to turn me on.”

“ Know , present tense. I still know how to turn you on,” he practically growls.

“Maybe you should show me,” I murmur suggestively.

He gives my breasts a firm squeeze and droplets of milk bead up on my nipple. His head darts down to lick away one and then the other. His face lights up. “I get it now. But I’d best leave that for our little one.”

Then instead of squeezing more milk out of my breasts, he goes to town, doing all the things I used to love. Come to find out, I still love it when he tongues my nipples and gently runs his thumbs along the underside of my breasts. For some reason, I’m really sensitive there. When I’m panting with need, he moves down.

I bring both of my hands down to cover the stretchmarks running down my stomach, because I don’t want him to see. He gently pulls my hands away. “Now, don’t be that way, sweetness.”

He runs the tips of his finger over the marks and then gives my stomach a firm kiss. Then he moves right down to my pussy. This man of mind doesn’t even hesitate, he goes straight for my clit. His tongue dances lightly over the top, making me squirm with pleasure. His big hands explore what’s changed. When the tips of his fingers figure it all, I’m so grateful that I didn’t fall for a man who knew nothing about a woman’s body after giving birth. Tusk is exactly what I need and all I’ll ever want.

He tips me over in one orgasm after another until I tug him up. When he comes up to cover me, his big thick cock lands heavy on my stomach, dribbling precum. I don’t know why I worried so much about him not finding me attractive. He loves me. Of course, he’s not going to care if my body stays perfect for my whole life.

Tusk’s hands come up to cup my face. “Hey there, where did you go. You looked like you were a million miles away.”

I turn my face into his palm and give him a kiss. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you back in my life.”

His concerned expression is replaced by a pleased one. “Me to. All I’ve ever wanted was my girl back and now I have two.” The happiness on his face makes my heart explode with love for him.

I wrap my legs around him. “Ready to finish the job you started, hot stuff?”

A boyish grin jumps onto his face. “You know that I am, but only if you’re up to it?”

I wrap my arms around him, gently scratching at his back my nails. “Yeah, I had the all-clear at six weeks and my midwife okayed me for sex. Though to be honest it was the last thing on my mind then, seeing as I never thought I’d see my man again. I want to feel you inside me. Maybe if you start slow and pick up speed?”

“You got it, beautiful.”

I feel him pressing his way inside, with several gentle thrusts of his hips. It feels good but not fantastic like it used to. Nice, heart pounding sex was the thing both of us shared. It’s partly what made us click before we really got to know each other. And I want us to get back to that.

That’s one reason I’m absolutely thrilled when he picks up speed. I encourage him verbally and by scratching his back harder. It brings out the beast in Tusk. It doesn’t take him long to get to the scorching hot sex we always enjoyed. His strong, hard thrusts rock my world, and when he reaches down to rub my clit, it ramps up the pleasure to point of making me beg for him to move faster.

He increases the pressure on my clit and whispers in his deep, gravelly voice, “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Something about that combination flips all the right switches for me. I come so hard it feels like the top of my head is going to come off. To keep from screaming out and waking up Victoria, I sink my teeth into his shoulder as the strongest orgasm of my life flashes through my body. I know Tusk likes a little bite of pain with his sex. It really turns him on. The moment I bite down, he surges into me and shoots his load. My last lucid through is that the chances of getting pregnant while breastfeeding are super low, but I probably need to get back on contraception pretty damn quick.