Page 13

Brittany

B ecause Victoria sleeps soundly for the rest of the seven-hour flight, I don’t even wake when the plane lands for refueling. Therefore, I don’t know that the club decided to pick up the tab for the pilot to bring us down to California. I only rouse when we arrive at the small airport in Las Salinas.

I do my best to tend to the baby because she wakes up as we exit the plane. She’s still bundled in her dry blankets, but I know she has a wet diaper. So, I go directly to the restroom and take care of her at the baby station. Clara goes with me and watches Victoria while I attend to my own personal needs. Tusk went to help Tex with the twins.

We meet up at the luggage carousel. Tusk and Tex grab most of the luggage. Clara and I are about to take a suitcase each when the small terminal begins to fill up with club brothers. They take the rest, and we follow them outside. Most of the brothers are on motorcycles, but there are two big SUVs waiting for us. I recognize one as belonging to Tusk. I assume the other belongs to Tex and Clara. Counting Levi, they have five people in their family, so I’m fairly sure it’s a new acquisition during the time I’ve been gone.

The brothers get me and Victoria settled in the back of one SUV. Zen watches me over his shoulder from the driver’s seat. Meanwhile, Tex loads up his family in the other. It’s good to see friendly faces, and although they’re polite, they don’t say much. At the last minute, Tusk jumps into the passenger seat, and then Zen takes off. We’re going in the same direction.

I ask, “Are we going to the clubhouse, or to Tex and Clara’s house?”

Without looking back at me, Tusk says gruffly, “Tex and Clara’s place.”

Zen starts asking about the weather this time of year in Alaska and how Tusk liked his trip. They chat about club business, totally ignoring me. I don’t know whether they’re trying to be nice by giving me some time to relax with the baby, or if they’re upset that I slept all the way back. I can’t imagine why they would care about something like that. But I’m awake now and alert enough to care about it.

I speak up again, “Did I do something wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

Zen glances at me in the rearview mirror for a second. “You ran from us and didn’t even tell us why. If you had something to fear, any one of us would have helped you, you know that, right?”

Clutching the baby closer, I tell him, “I didn’t want to bring my problems and lay them on the club’s doorstep.”

Zen flashes me a smile. “Yeah, cause our club ain’t never dealt with any troublemakers before, right?”

I smother a smile myself because he’s not wrong about that. I relax my grip on Victoria, and when they go back to talking, I nurse her until she calms down. Since they don’t glance back or talk to me, I assume they don’t notice. I end up nursing her for pretty much the whole way there.

When we pull up, Clara is already on the porch with the twins, and Tex is unloading their stuff from the SUV. He tells me, “Go on inside. Tusk and I will get the luggage.”

Clara smiles when I walk up the steps. “If you want to give me the damp laundry, I can wash it before mold sets in?”

I guess I’d forgotten that all our stuff had gotten caught under the sprinklers. I suppose compared to everything else going on, moldy clothes was the least of my problems. But I nod and then jump right into my main problem of the day. “I didn’t talk to Tusk like you and Tex told me to. Yesterday was a really long day, and I just didn’t have the mental bandwidth to get into it with him.”

She shuts the door behind us and says, “No biggie. Just talk to him this morning. I’ll watch your little one.”

“To be honest, I’m a little freaked out about those two men trying to get me into their truck last night. If Tusk and Tex hadn’t gotten to me when they did, I dread to think what could have happened.”

We sit down and begin taking the coats and wraps off our kids. She says, “I noticed that you were quiet last night. Tex told me all about the Eve thing. Sounds creepy.”

“It was, even for me, after growing up in that shit. I just kept replaying their words over and over again in my head until I eventually fell asleep.”

When her kids wander off, her tone turns serious. “Look, you know you need to have a conversation with that man. He’s making a lot of assumptions about what he’s seeing, and it’s not fair to let him run with inaccurate information.”

A deep voice comes from the direction of the front door. “I agree. It’s not fair to expect me to just figure this shit out, especially when I don’t have enough pieces of the puzzle to even begin to make a picture.”

“I want to talk,” I make myself say as he walks up to me.

Staring down at my daughter, I watch his face go pale. “You gonna tell me about your daughter? And don’t give me no shit about her being fostered, because she looks just like you.”

I glance over at Clara. “You sure about watching Victoria?”

She reaches out to take her from my arms. “I am. We’ll both be fine for a few hours. I love babies. And your little one is so quiet.”

Tex walks in with suitcases. “It’s ‘cause she’s spoiled.”

Clara chuckles. “You’re always so grumpy. You’re also a big, fat liar. You spoil the twins all the time.”

Tex doesn’t reply. He just drops the bags and comes to stand by Clara. “Yeah, you’re right. They’re real cute when they first come out. They stay where you put them. The trouble starts when they begin walkin’ and talkin’.”

“Well, if you need me to come back, just call me, okay?” I say, grateful for Clara’s offer to look after Victoria for me. I’m all kinds of nervous about talking to Tusk, but it’s got to be done.

He reaches out to touch the baby’s head, his expression dreamy. “I suspect this conversation won’t last long,” he says flatly.

I give Victoria a kiss on her forehead and force myself to turn and walk out the door. I can’t take a chance on Tusk losing his shit in front of the kids.

When he catches up and walks down the sidewalk beside me, I ask, “Where do you want to go to talk?”

“The clubhouse. I need a fuckin’ drink.” His reply is vintage Tusk. He’s not an alcoholic by any stretch of the imagination, but he does love to take the edge off with a stiff drink when he’s stressed.

“I’m sorry.” Before I can elaborate about how sorry I am for dragging all my problems to his doorstep, he says, “Yeah, me too. You were the last person I thought would cheat on me.”

I almost stumble on the sidewalk before catching myself. Since I was several months pregnant when I left, he thinks I cheated. Victoria’s wispy hair is blonde and so far, she doesn’t bear any resemblance to him, so he’s assuming the worst. I was worried about his reaction to finding out he was a dad again, but compared to having Tusk think I cheated on him, I’d much rather him be pissed at me keeping his daughter from him.

I rub my forehead, trying to ease the migraine building there. I need to just come clean with him. I’ve become too accustomed to saying whatever comes to mind to get me out of trouble, and it’s about time I grew up a bit.

We take his SUV and head to the clubhouse. There isn’t much conversation on the way because we’re both pretty deep in our own thoughts.

***

I can’t seem to catch a break to save my life, because the second I walk into the clubhouse, all the club girls swarm me. It’s not even noon yet, but most of them are milling around the bar area.

They start asking me questions.

“Where did you go? Everyone was looking for you?”

“Are you coming back to be a club girl?”

“Girl, you gained weight.”

“Are you and Tusk together now?”

“Who’s the baby daddy?”

Of course, it’s Silver who says that. And any hopes that my business would remain private evaporate. I guess news travels fast. She smirks at me. “I bet it’s riddled with birth defects considering all the alcohol you drank when you got knocked up. Fetal alcohol syndrome is a thing. You know that, right?”

Before I can formulate a reply to her shitty greeting, Tusk grabs her by the back of the neck and marches her to the door. We all stand there, shocked shitless, watching him literally toss her out the front door.

“You don’t step foot back into this clubhouse until I say so. Now get,” he practically spits at her.

When he whirls around, the rest of the club girls scramble, scurrying away in all different directions. Tusk stomps back over and takes me to their meeting room, telling the prospect behind the bar, “One double whiskey on the rocks and one virgin margarita.”

I frown that Tusk thinks it’s okay to order my drinks for me now. He holds the door open for me. I glance up to look him in the eye before stepping over the threshold.

He sighs, “Best we have a closed door this time. Too many ears attached to gossiping mouths to suit me.”

I walk into their meeting room, which is just like I remembered. We sit down at a table at the front of the room. I know Tusk wants to talk, but all I can do is wonder how Silver knew I left here pregnant. Literally no one, not even Clara, knew that.

The door opens back up, and a new prospect I’ve never seen before walks in with our drinks.

Tusk says, “Thanks, Patch. I can’t believe they put you behind the bar like a regular prospect.”

He gestures to the prospect patch on his cut and responds good-naturedly, “I am a regular prospect. You know how strict Rider is about not playing favorites. Besides, if the brothers end up in a fight, I’ll be close at hand to patch them up.”

“Damn!” Tusk shoots back. “Only the Savage Legion would turn a doctor into a fucking bartender.”

“I don’t mind earning my spot like every other brother,” he says as he turns to go back to the bar. Standing in the doorway, he tells Tusk, “If you need a refill, text me.” He’s gone before we can reply.

Tusk drinks down half his whiskey in one gulp and then takes charge. “I’m gonna ask questions, and you are gonna answer them. Got that?”

“Yeah,” I say as I take a sip of my alcohol-free drink. “Shoot. I’ll answer anything you throw at me.”

“Yeah, I get that. The problem is your fuckin’ propensity to lie when it’s convenient.”

Sighing, I set my drink down on the table. Rubbing my palms down the front of my jeans, I tell him, “Alright, I deserved that one. When you’re all alone in the world, sometimes telling a little white lie makes things easier.”

“Like when you told me you were pulling an overnighter for some new mom who needed some time to herself?”

I sigh, “Yeah, that was the truth. It just wasn’t all the truth.” Gesturing to myself, I explain, “I’m the new mom who needed some time. What with Silas Harper on my trail and everything that happened at the hotel, I was wiped out. I’ve had a difficult few months, making a whole new human being wrecks a woman’s body, you know?”

“Are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?”

“No. It’s just mostly stress, I’ve got the beginnings of a migraine.”

“That prospect that was just in here is a doctor. I can get him to give you something for that.”

“I can’t take anything because I’m breastfeeding. Trust me, if I could, I would.”

I see something akin to worry flare in his eyes. He jumps up from his seat and leaves the room. A moment later, he walks back in with that damn doctor that I told him I didn’t need.

Patch tells me, “Tusk said you’re feeling stressed but you’re worried about taking medication while breastfeeding. Is that right?”

“I’m stressed, but I don’t think it’s anything out of the ordinary. My midwife told me that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed after giving birth. It takes a while for your hormones to get back to normal.”

“That’s true, how long ago did you give birth?”

“Victoria’s fourteen weeks old now,” I say.

The doctor slash prospect looks thoughtful, “You should see some of the stress resolving at three and a half months.”

I take a sip of my drink and sigh, “I think most of my recent stress is situational. I just discovered that a religious fanatic from my past is stalking me, and there was a crisis at the hotel we were staying at. It’s all been a little too much.”

“That’s understandable,” he says soothingly.

I rub my neck trying to loosen the tension building there.

“If you do find that the stress or anxiety is interfering with your life then there are medications you could take, and several are safe to take while breastfeeding. Of course we’d have to have a more in-depth discussion, but I could write you a script.”

“I’m not comfortable with medication. Right now, I just think I need to focus on managing the external stress in my life.”

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,” he says with a smile and gestures through the door towards the bar area.

“Thanks,” I reply, and massage my neck again.

“You got a headache, sweetheart?” Tusk says.

I nod.

“You can take ibuprofen or acetaminophen for headaches. Only trace amounts pass through your breast milk. It’s safe to take as directed on the bottle. Are you having any other complications? I can have a look if you like. I’m not an obstetrician, but I am a surgeon,” the prospect says.

My knees snap together at the thought. “No, my midwife said everything was okay.”

His head tilts to the side. “Alright then, let me go and fetch you some acetaminophen. There’s a bottle behind the bar.”

When he leaves us, we sit in silence for a while. I know part of the reason for my headache is knowing I’m going to have to come clean to Tusk about Victoria. I find I can’t meet his eyes, and instead I sit rigid staring at the table until the prospect returns and drops a bottle of pills in front of me.

Tusk opens the bottle and hands me two of the tablets. “Take the medicine, Brittany. Patch said it was safe.”

I reach for the pills a little too eagerly because the dull throbbing in my temple is relentless. Then I hesitate, remembering what my midwife had to say on the subject. “My midwife thought it was better not to take pain killers if I didn’t need them.”

Tusk looms over me, his eyes intense. “You do need them. I’m not gonna have you walking around with migraines if it can be helped with medication.”

I pop the pills in my mouth and take a sip of my drink to wash them down. I know it’ll take a few minutes to work.

They start walking towards the door again, and I hear the doctor tell him, “You should take her to one of the suites where she can have a rest.”

Tusk comes back to the table and grabs his drink. “Bring your drink and come with me.”

I follow him through the clubhouse and upstairs where the suites are. When we’re seated in one of the suites and he’s got me propped up in an armchair, he picks right back up where he left off. “You ready to start answering my questions honestly?”

“I told you that I would,” I say irritably.

“The first thing I want to know is, was it all a lie?” Gesturing between us, he adds, “Was our whole relationship a lie? Did you ever really love me, or was that a lie too?”

“Of course, I loved you. You know I did. What kind of question is that?”

“Alright, when exactly did you stop loving me?”

I don’t want him to know I still love him, so I say, “Next question.”

“I wanna know who the fuck you cheated on me with.”

I maintain my stony expression.

“Was it another one of the brothers or someone from the outside, like that fuckin’ ex of yours?”

I jump on the question he didn’t ask. “Silas Harper isn’t my ex, I never had a relationship with him.”

Tusk glares at me. “Are you really a Mormon or is that just another one of your lies?”

I sigh and tell him the story about Silas Harper and how my father wanted me to marry him as part of some business arrangement they had. But I hated Silas, so I ran and kept running until I ran into the Savage Legion’s clubhouse.

Ending the tale of how I arrived in Las Salinas, I say, “I had to stay off the grid, and staying at the clubhouse was the perfect solution.”

“Yeah, nothing was in your name here. You were untraceable because we provided everything for you.”

I nod and remind him, “I was desperate when I stumbled upon the clubhouse. I liked it here. The brothers were the opposite of all the men I’d known in my life up until that point. They didn’t give two hoots in hell about the Lord or whether or not I was pure.”

Tusk snorts a laugh. “No ma’am, we sure don’t give a fuck about that here at the Savage Legion clubhouse. Maybe if you tell this man your father promised you to, that you’ve been whoring yourself to an MC club, he won’t want you back. No insult intended.”

“None taken. I understand that you’re saying I should paint myself in the worst light possible. The thing is, they’ve somehow decided this asshole is righteous enough to be given his own congregation. That’s why those two guys who tried to abduct me kept calling him Bishop Harper.”

That’s when it hits me—what deal my father made with Harper. Images of their interactions begin running through my head, and I can’t seem to stop the memories from flooding back.

Suddenly, Tusk is beside me with his hand on my shoulder, his expression concerned, “Brittany, what is it? You just went pale as a fuckin’ ghost.”

My eyes rise to meet his, and I tell him, “I think I know what my father wanted enough from Silas Harper to leverage me into a marriage with the man.”

“Slow down. Just say what’s on your mind.”

“My father always wanted to become a deacon of the church. He always fell short of getting it by one vote. Then Silas came to our town. I never paid attention to church politics back then, but I remember people talking about how Silas was smart and had every verse in the Bible memorized. How he was destined for something special. I didn’t see it myself and never thought someone with his disposition could rise in the church.” I pause as my mind goes back to that night, “I remember coming home late from babysitting a neighbor’s child and overhearing the two of them talking. I remember my father saying something about if Silas wanted my purity, the price was his vote.”

“So you think this Silas person promised to get your old man into a deacon’s position if he got your purity in return?” Tusk asks. He’s smart to catch on so fast.

“Yeah, Silas must have gotten voted in as a bishop and been given his own congregation shortly after I ran. Because my would-be abductors said he sent out the flyers years ago. Only until going to Alaska, I wasn’t around any church members, much less young ambitious ones looking to score brownie points with a bishop. I thought I was safe there, I hadn’t realized there were members of our church in Alaska.”

Tusk sits on the floor in front of my chair. “That makes sense. I guess they’d be on the lookout for ways to ingratiate themselves with the elders. What the fuck is an Eve, by the way?”

“Eve is honored as the mother of all mankind, of course. Though Silas is just a dirty old man who wanted a barely legal teen to wed. He advanced to the position of bishop, but who knows? He was an ambitious man. Maybe he had his sights set on something higher, like claiming to be a prophet.”

“Creating a little backstory about me being his Eve could have just been him building his own personal charisma or mystique that he could later exploit. I was a young virgin and pretty by anyone’s standards, back then. I don’t think anything would have changed. Even now, if he thinks I’ve fallen and he brings me back to the church, that will probably just make him seem even more devout and holy. I’m starting to think he only ever wanted to use me to get ahead in the church.”