Page 14

Tusk

D espite still being pissed that she cheated on me, Brittany’s story breaks my heart. I tell her, “Anyone would want you, Brittany. My best guess is there were a lot of pretty young girls he looked at. He saw something special in you, just like I did. Only the sick fucker didn’t care about whether you wanted him back or not. He was intent on forcing the issue.”

“Yeah, only now I have a child to protect. I refuse to let him have any control over me, and no matter what, I don’t want that sick, power-hungry man around my daughter because he’ll figure out a way to use her for his own ends as well.”

“Don’t worry. None of the brothers will let that happen. You can count on all of us to keep you and your child safe.”

“I hope so, because this club is my last line of protection if Silas Harper is still after me.”

“What do you mean if he’s still after you? We know he is, because he sent those two kids to grab you.”

“No,” she tells me. “That’s not what happened. Silas sent out the flyer to all churches in their sect right after I went missing. They just happened to cross paths with me now. For all we know, Silas could have moved on to some other woman and be happily clawing his way up the church hierarchy by now.”

“And you know that, how?” I ask.

Brittany shrugs, “I guess I don’t. Our church doesn’t have an internet presence, so I don’t know what he’s doing now. But I had to go back to my hometown when I left the clubhouse to withdraw money. I thought I was clever at hiding my tracks, but maybe word did get back to him?”

I press my lips into a firm line as I consider her words. “I think you’re more at risk right now than you have been since you first left. You gotta know those assholes in Alaska are going to alert him that they found his Eve and that she had a baby with her. My best guess is he’s gonna still want you, even if he already has a wife, or he’s gonna want to publicly shame and punish you for being a harlot.”

She shoots me an amused look. “You’re pretty quick with the old-fashioned religious terminology there, Tusk. Are you sure you don’t have some holy rollers hiding in your own background?”

Catching her humor, I tell her, “My paternal grandfather was a bastard about things like that. I always did hate that man.”

“Lots of men have a Madonna-whore complex,” she says quietly.

“Yeah, lots of men are complete dumbasses too. I’m of the opinion that women should be able to enjoy their sexuality without being shamed for it, that’s what I love about you.” Damn it. I said ‘love’ not ‘loved’. I was trying to keep neutral about everything. I look up to see if she noticed my slip up, but her expression is unreadable.

Her voice is quiet as she speaks, “My baby’s father is a brother, not an outsider.”

I consider her words. For the first time since I discovered she had a baby something akin to hope blooms in my chest, mixed with more than a little bit of excitement. If the father was one of my club brothers, then surely, she’d be a bit more cautious about telling me this in case I got mad? I tentatively ask, “Would that brother be incredibly fertile, perchance?”

Sitting there, staring into each other’s eyes, she replies, “Maybe. He’s got a lot on his plate when it comes to kids and crazy exes. I’m not sure he has room in his life for another child.”

With the way she’s looking at me, I can tell she’s about to come apart at the seams. She has her arms wrapped around her stomach and is actually trembling a little. She wants me to accept her, to forgive her. Since she’s all I’ve ever wanted and has given me a daughter, I’m inclined to do just that.

“I’ve missed you Britt,” I say as I get to my feet and hold out my hand, pulling her up. She takes my hand willingly and suddenly we’re standing there facing each other. “Don’t tell me you haven’t missed me too.”

She’s looking up at me with those big, blue eyes. Within seconds our lips find each other and we’re kissing like we never parted. I feel the heat flooding my body as my arms pull her tight. God, I’ve missed her so much. Her tongue is hungry as she explores my mouth, and I can hear her soft moans. Then suddenly she steps back, breathless.

“What’s up, darlin’?” I say, my own voice is hoarse with lust, and I can feel my cock punching at the zipper.

A small smile ghosts across her face, “I’ve missed you so much too, but I’ve always been one to jump into things too quickly. So much has happened over the last few months. My life has too many moving parts. I need time to think this through—to think us through—is that okay?”

I reach out to take her hand because it’s only inches from mine. Bringing it to my lips, I murmur. “Fair enough. You’re well worth waiting for, my sweet.”

Her expression turns emotional, and she gives my hand a little squeeze. “Thanks for understanding that this has nothing to do with wanting you. I just want to get my head around this situation before I jump in with both feet. I can’t afford to be impulsive anymore, I have a child to think about.

I feel my lips turn up into a warm smile. A child… I have another child. Yesterday, I didn’t take too much notice of the baby, but now I want to meet my daughter. I kiss the palm of her hand and say, “I get it. If you want to talk about what’s worrying you, I’d be interested in knowing. Maybe I can help put those worries to rest.”

“Well, I had it in mind that Victoria and I would have a simple, uncomplicated life. I don’t want her sandwiched between your four kids and a new baby. She deserves to be special too, you know?”

“She will be,” I tell her. “Even if you don’t want to get back with me, I’m not gonna let my daughter go. She’s my only one, after all. Having four older, overprotective brothers is gonna suck for her, but I don’t see another way around it.”

I’m equally relieved and annoyed that Brittany’s primary worry is her daughter getting lost amongst my rambunctious boys. “I know you want to get back home to her. Let’s go,” I insist.

She pulls her hand away and it lands on her hip “Victoria is all I’ve got. I’m not going to let her get shoved aside by your other kids or disrespected by your ex-wife.”

“Fuckin’ too right. We’ll both make sure Victoria grows up safe and happy. That’s my vow to you.”

Tasting my daughter’s name on my tongue stirs a new level of protectiveness I never knew was there. “Victoria’s a really pretty name. What made you choose it?”

She glances uncertainly up to catch my eye before explaining, “It was my maternal grandmother’s name. She ran from the church, like me.”

Understanding clicks into place in my mind. “You’re honoring her because she showed you the way.”

Brittany nods, tearing up slightly. “Yeah, I thought to myself that if she could run, so could I. The only difference is, she had no choice but to leave her daughter behind, while I have no intention of letting the church get their hands on mine. All I do is run—from the church, you, the club.”

“You don’t have to run anymore. Now, you’ve got me to fight all your battles for you.”

She sucks in a deep breath. “You say that now,” she whispers, leaving the rest unsaid for me to fill in the blank.

Tugging her closer, I say, “Give me a chance to prove myself. I can be the man you need. I’m more than just a fantastic sperm donor, you know.”

Her head jerks up to stare at me. I feel a little ashamed of myself for shocking her, so I pull her in and gently kiss the side of her head. “Let’s go be with our daughter. I want to meet her properly.”

“You’re gonna love her. She’s sweet, quiet, and curious about her world.” Brittany is a proud mama, and she has every right to be. I can’t wait to get to know my daughter.

***

When we walk back into Tex’s house, all cuddled up, he throws both hands up in the air and says, “Hallelujah and praise the Lord. Tusk finally got it right.”

Clara chides him gently as she puts our baby in Brittany’s arms. “You shouldn’t joke about the good Lord, babe. It’ll come back to haunt you when you least expect it.”

Tex and Clara get into a back-and-forth about it, but I’m too distracted by the sight of my child to pay attention to their bickering. Hearing Brittany’s subtle way of admitting her baby was mine took away the shock, but standing beside her, watching our little one move around was melting my heart in an entirely different way than seeing my sons for the first time did.

Maybe it’s because she’s almost a carbon copy of her mother, except maybe the nose. Her nose looks like my sons’ noses.

Brittany asks, “You want to hold her?”

I nod, almost too emotional to speak. When she places my daughter in my arms for the first time, I recognize it for the precious gift it is. I back up and sit on the sofa, holding her carefully. “She’s smaller and more delicate than my boys,” I murmur.

“Of course she is,” Tex says. “She’s a girl.”

After a heartbeat, he asks, “Does she have that webbed toe thing going on that you and your boys do?”

I shake my head without looking. “She doesn’t.”

Tex shoots back with exasperation, “Fucking hell, you didn’t even check.”

I don’t care about what Tex has to say about my daughter, but suddenly, I want to see her little fingers and toes. I pull the blanket open and look at her tiny fingers. She’s so precious. I move down to look at her feet, checking between her second and third toe. “No webbing, thank God.”

Brittany panics a little. “She’s yours, I swear.”

I glance over at her, unable to keep the smile off my face for anything. “‘Course she is. She has my nose.” I chuckle before turning back to Victoria. “She’s a girl. The webbed toe is a genetic mutation that can only be passed from father to son on the Y chromosome. Girls don’t have Y chromosomes. They have two Xs. The doctor explained it to me.”

“Do you and your sons all have webbed feet? I never noticed that in all the time we were together,” she gives me a strange look, like I might be a mutant or something.

“It’s a small membrane between the second and third toe on the right foot for me and my boys. It’s barely noticeable unless you’re looking for it. My boys love their mutation. We call it the Duncan family mutant gene. I hope Victoria doesn’t feel left out because she didn’t get it. I wouldn’t want her to be mentally scarred by something so far out of our control.”

Brittany looks at me like I’ve got two heads instead of a webbed toe. “She’ll be just fine. Trust me on this, Tusk. No girl wants webbed toes.”

“That’s too bad, ‘cause it’s a neat mutation to have,” I tell her, only half teasing.

Tex chimes in from across the room. “If all your toes were webbed, it would enable you to swim super-fast.”

I glance at him with a smile. “We’re happy with what we’ve got, thank you very much.”

Tex just laughs, and eventually, Clara joins him. Their kids are playing on the floor, well. Stephanie’s staring at the fish in a tank against the wall. Her brother, Steven, is licking the tank. Looks like he might be trying to taste the brightly colored fish. I know Tex is probably worried about Steven, but I think he’s just more inquisitive and an out-of-the-box thinker. He takes after his brother, Levi, who’s also a quirky kid. Tex talks incessantly about his kids, and I do too. It’s that thing we have in common.

All thoughts of Tex and his family fly right out of my head when the baby gets fussy, and Brittany starts to breastfeed. I close my eyes and count to ten because I’m not right in the fuckin’ head today. Something about the swell of her larger breasts speaks to me as a man. The way our little one latches on and suckles her breast is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

After I think I have my lust under control, I glance down again. Nope, it’s not under control. I’m clearly fucked in the head because I’ve been deprived of my woman for the last nine months. I should have been there to rub her feet and cater to all her pregnancy cravings. I wasn’t, though, because I fucked everything up and now, I’m perving on her when she’s doin’ the most natural thing in the world.

This is my chance at a do-over, and I plan to do everything right this time.

I reach over and adjust the blanket covering her shoulder. It’s hiding her breast from the others, but I’m getting to see everything.

Brittany asks, “What’s wrong? Was the blanket slipping?”

I shake my head and blurt out, “No. I just wanted to participate.”

Clara chuckles at my stupidity. But Brittany is smiling. “Careful. If you’re all that keen, you might get assigned to diaper duty.”

“Are girls wicked little poop machines like boys are?”

Brittany shrugs with her free shoulder. “I think it depends on what you feed them.”

“Want me to text Patch and ask him?”

She shoots me a disapproving look. “You can’t keep bothering that man for every little medical issue. Victoria is pooping just fine.”

I am fuckin’ made of eyes when Brittany changes breasts.

There is something so wonderful about watching the woman that I love breastfeed my child. However, I cannot keep my thoughts from going to dirty places to save my life. It’s nothing to do with the baby. Nope, it’s all about seeing Brittany with her breasts out and doing her thing so confidently.

After she’s done, she drapes a towel over my shoulder and gives me the baby, I know exactly what to do to get her to burp. I stand and walk around, patting her back gently. Actually, I might be strutting around because I’m so thrilled to finally have the daughter I always dreamed of having.

I’m fuckin’ thrilled when she burps for me.

“Did you see that, Tex? I taught her to burp.”

He rolls his eyes. “She was doing that before she even met you.”

“Don’t be bitter,” I tease him, “because I have a whole parcel of kids, and you’ve just got three.”

“What the fuck,” he shoots back, glaring at me. “Before today, you were satisfied with the four boys you had. Now that you’ve got a girl you think the sun shines out of her ass.”

I preen a bit. “Don’t talk about my little princess’ ass. I don’t want to be reminded of what comes out of it.”

Yeah, Tex and I joke around like this all the time, so he should have expected me to be a fuckin’ proud girl dad.

When he looks back at Clara, she tells him, “No way. Don’t even ask.”

I laugh when he sulks. Of course, now that he realizes having more kids is better, he wants to increase his numbers as well. Who wouldn’t? The more the merrier.

Loving the way our daughter feels in my arms, I tell Brittany, “As soon as she gets old enough, we’re takin’ her to Disney World to meet the mouse. We’ll get her one of those princess dresses and everything.”

Brittany relaxes back against the sofa. The next words out of her mouth don’t faze me. “What if she doesn’t like princess stuff? She might be a tomboy who likes monster trucks and fishing.”

I feel my face light up with a brilliant smile. “That’s even better. Me and the boys like that kind of stuff too. She’ll fit right in.”

She gazes up at me, with that old look of fondness in her eyes. “You sound like you’ve got it all figured out, and you’ve only been a girl dad for a few minutes.”

“I’ve been her dad this entire time. You just kept her from me because you didn’t trust me to do right by her.”

The smile falls right off Brittany’s face, and an awkward silence fills the room.

As happy as I am, there’s no doubt she robbed me of seeing her belly rounded with my child—of me talking to her in the womb and being there for the birth of my own baby.

I haven’t forgotten that, nor am I going to gloss over how that makes me feel. Brittany needs to sit with the reality of what she’s done until she truly understands the hurt she’s caused me.

I tell her quietly, “It makes me feel like shit that there was no male voice to soothe her in the womb. She should have had that.”

Instead of apologizing, she gets up, gathers her stuff, and walks back to the bedroom that she and the baby are sharing.

Clara shoots me a dirty look and follows her. I keep hold of my daughter. Now that I know she’s mine, I’m never letting her go.

Tex shakes his head, looking downright exhausted from trying to help me keep my shit straight. Instead of telling me that I’m an asshole for spoiling the vibe, he changes the subject. “It’s a shame that shit-for-brains ex-wife of yours used your old sperm to get herself pregnant again.”

I sigh, bouncing the baby in my arms. “I know. I’m still fucked up over that. It feels like being taken advantage of in the worst way. Of course, every kid is a blessing. I’m not denying that. It’s just my luck that I somehow managed to make a baby with her without even sticking my dick in crazy. I thought I was home free after the divorce was finalized, but no. Nothing in my life is ever that fuckin’ easy.”

Tex lets out a low whistle. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, man.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, tell me about it.” I glance down at Victoria, her tiny hands curled into fists against my chest. This—this moment, holding my daughter—is the only pure thing in my life right now.

Tex watches me for a beat before sighing. “Look, I get that you’re pissed Brittany kept the pregnancy from you. But you can’t keep hammering her for it. You’ve got what you wanted. You found her, and now you know about Victoria. Don’t go and fuck it all up by making her regret telling you.”

I nod, exhaling hard. “Yeah, yeah. I get it.”

Tex snorts. “Do you? ‘Cause you’ve been acting like a goddamn caveman since we landed.”

“I know,” I admit. “I just… I keep thinking about all the moments I missed. I should’ve been there, Tex. Through the pregnancy, the birth… Hell, even just rubbing her feet when she was tired.”

“So, what are you gonna do about it now?” Tex challenges.

I lift my gaze to his, determination settling in my chest. “Talk it out with her. No matter how long it takes.”

Tex nods, seemingly satisfied. “Good. Now stop being a dumbass and go talk to her before she locks you out completely.”

I glance towards the hallway where Brittany disappeared, my gut twisting. I’ve spent so long searching for her, only to let my anger cloud my thinking when it really mattered. I wasn’t about to let that happen again.

With a deep breath, I rise to my feet, still cradling Victoria. “Wish me luck.”

Tex smirks. “You’re gonna need more than luck, brother.”