Page 9

CHAPTER 9

brOOKS

I ’d gotten good at blocking out anything that didn’t have to do with baseball when I was playing the game. That was my job. It was what made me good. Nothing in my personal life impacted my game and right now, there was nothing going on, anyway.

Harlowe still hadn’t spoken to me and I gave up on trying to talk to her. My texts weren’t even being read, not that there was a lot of them, but I did try. I tried to apologized even but nothing. Calls went unanswered too and eventually, I had to take the hint.

Not talking to her shouldn’t even have been weird, considering before that day at my house, I’d only talked to her when Camden had brought her around. That hadn’t happened since the All-Star Game, so there wasn’t a reason to think about it.

But I did.

Except here I was thinking about her.

The game was a tough one and while we couldn’t win every single time, we needed to because we wanted it, sure, but it was the best way to ensure we were going to the playoffs. Right now, we were in first place, which ensured us going, but if we dropped out of first, we had to win the Wild Card before even getting to the first round of playoffs.

Every game was important right now.

When it came to the bottom of the ninth, we were down by two, we had two outs, and the bases were loaded. I would pity the poor bastard who had to step to the plate with that on their shoulders except that poor bastard was me.

I had to at least get a base hit or walk to keep us alive. First pitch, I swung and missed. Second was a ball. As soon as the third pitch had left the pitcher’s hand, I knew I had it. The crack of the ball against the bat told me that it was better than I’d even thought. That ball was going far.

I took off, as did everyone on base, as the ball soared over the left field wall, right by the bullpen.

Walk off grand slam for the win.

Fuck. That felt good.

Once I’d tapped home plate, our game was done and I’d gotten us out of a big jam. We were traveling tomorrow on a six-day road trip, so it felt fantastic to win the last game at home for a while.

The unfortunate part was that since I’d made that hit, I was doing the on-field interview after. The request was in before I made it back to the dugout. After a quick drink of water, I went over to the reporter while the rest of the guys grabbed their shit and headed to the clubhouse.

Some guys loved this part of the game. I didn’t. I could never talk to a reporter and be perfectly happy. Luckily, it was only like five minutes, then I headed down to the clubhouse myself.

A cheer went up as I entered the clubhouse. I shook my head, though I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. Sometimes, we grown men were still the little kids who’d fallen in love with the game and acted like it. For example, right now. The guys were patting me on the back as I made my way to my locker.

Silas grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me. “See? This is why you’re not retiring.”

“‘Retiring’?” Cobb asked from his chair in front of his locker. “Whose terrible idea was that?”

“His.” Silas pointed at me as I pushed him away from me.

Urban groaned. “You’re not serious.”

“I’m not.” I held up my hand. “I was just talking. Fuck. None of you can keep anything to yourself.” Though Silas would for sure keep the fact that I was talking about a woman to him under wraps.

Silas snorted as he folded his arms over his chest. “We can all keep things to ourselves and you know that, but this… I feel like retiring is a decision that should be made by committee.”

“Fuck off,” I muttered as I headed off to the shower.

Decision by committee? No fucking way. When I was done, only I’d be making that choice, but I also saw what he meant. It would’ve been stupid for me to leave the game now and if any one of them had said that to me, I’d have outed them too.

At least when I got home, it’d be nice and quiet. No brothers harassing me. But it was also awfully quiet. Something I hadn’t noticed much until Harlowe had been there three days in a row.

The next morning, I was up early to pack my bag for the road trip. Six days on the road wasn’t easy. Easier for me because I wasn’t leaving anyone behind. My brothers, on the other hand, had grown to hate long road trips because it meant their women were back home. And hell, even if the women made the trip, it wasn’t like they could stay together. Rules and all that. I had time this morning because we weren’t leaving until the afternoon, which meant I got some things done—like cleaning out the fridge and taking out the trash—before I had to leave so my house wouldn’t smell when I got back.

I drove to the field to meet up with the team and my brothers were already there, standing together outside, waiting for the bus to take us to the airport. Amity was the only girlfriend among them. After grabbing my bag, I joined them. A staff member would take the bag from me to pack under the bus as soon as it got there.

We’d greeted each other but hadn’t gotten another word out before Camden rushed up.

“Here.” She thrust a phone at Urban.

“You forgot your phone?” I asked him.

He nodded. “I was in a hurry to leave.”

“You mean you were running late.”

He winced and shrugged, which meant yes . “I was busy. I wanted to get as much done before I left so Everly wasn’t stuck doing everything.”

Amity cocked her head to the side, her gray eyes narrowing on my brother. She was a small woman, shorter than all of us though we were all quite tall, but she’d never been afraid to meet any of us head on—especially Silas. “You know we know the deal when we get involved with you, right? We know you’re going to be gone a lot. Hell, some of us enjoy the quiet time.” She fought back a grin as Silas wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him.

“Enjoy the time, my ass.” He kissed her on the top of the head.

Amity was on some of the road trips because she was the assistant travel secretary, but she didn’t come on all of them and she wasn’t on this one, much to Silas’s chagrin.

“Why couldn’t Everly bring it?” Cobb asked.

“It’s Monday,” Urban explained, but there was no sign of understanding on Cobb’s face. “She’s a teacher, dummy. She’s working.”

“Oh, right.” He snapped his fingers.

“You almost missed them,” Amity said to Camden as she glanced at her watch. “The bus will be pulling up any minute.”

“I know.” Camden was still slightly out of breath from her run over here. “I thought I was going to.”

Amity narrowed her eyes on my sister. “You were late to the game yesterday too.” Then she stroked her chin, like she was solving a mystery. “Is there a man we should all know about?”

All four of her brothers’ heads swung so they could look at her. If there was, we’d want to know. She was our little sister and we’d protect her at all costs, including scaring away anyone we didn’t deem good enough. Hell, no one was good enough for our sister.

Camden snorted then rolled her eyes. “No. No man. And I wouldn’t tell you if there were. I was helping a friend.”

“What friend?” Silas asked suspiciously. “The only friend you have is Harlowe.”

My stomach tightened at the mention of her name. Fuck. I’d known I had feelings for her but hadn’t known just how damn deep they’d run until we’d been together weeks ago and the fact that I couldn’t get her out of my head since proved it.

I was starting to think I’d have to force her to talk to me when I got back. We could figure out the fact that I was Camden’s brother. It’d be fine if she wanted to be with me but clearly, it was up to me to make my feelings known first.

Camden rolled her eyes again as she ran her hand over her brown ponytail. “I have more friends than Harlowe, asshole, but I was helping her.”

Helping her? With what? Suddenly, I wanted to know what Harlowe needed help with, but there wasn’t a chance I could ask.

“Help with what?” Cobb came in with the save. Since he’d asked and I couldn’t, it was the only way I’d find out.

Camden shook her head. “I can’t tell you.”

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows. What the fuck couldn’t she tell us? “I thought you told us everything,” I said because that was what she always claimed, even though I knew for sure she didn’t actually tell us everything. Honestly, we didn’t want to know everything, either.

“Not quite everything, big brother.” She reached out and patted my shoulder.

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh to try to sound uninterested while still wanting to know. “You know you’re going to tell us, Camden. Better do it now before we have to leave.” Because as Amity had said, the bus would be here any minute.

She groaned and put her hands on her hips the way she did when she wanted to look stern. It never worked on us—we were twice her size—and it was actually comical to see her do it.

“Fine. She was in the hospital yesterday and needed some help. I wanted to be there for her. So I opened Cleats & Kegs yesterday, which is why I was late to the game and I wanted to help her today until my forgetful brother called me from Silas’s phone.”

Fuck. My muscles rightened. Hospital? What the fuck happened. Suddenly my skin was too tight and I was about to lose it. Yet, I still had to keep it under control.

“What?” Urban said, holding up his hands. “Everly would be pissed if I left without it.”

“It’s fine.” She sighed. “I’m going to go back to help her for her entire shift.”

My jaw had clenched involuntarily as soon as Camden had said Harlowe had been in the hospital and my heart thudded against my ribcage. In reality, if she was working today, she was fine, but I still had to know. “Why was she in the hospital?” That sounded angry due to the clenched jaw, but fuck. I needed to know.

Camden shook her head. “She’s been sick for a while and was dehydrated. Just needed to get some fluids.”

“What do you mean, sick for a while ?” Amity asked more gently than I would have.

My sister waved her hand as if to brush off what she was going to say. “Just a lot of throwing up for the past couple of weeks. It’s fine. She’s fine. She’s at work.”

Urban snorted then said, “Puking recently? On and off? She sounds pregnant.”

Camden’s gaze jumped straight to his as her eyes widened.

And the ground shifted below me. It was everything I could do to stay standing right now. Was she? Could she be? I mean, technically, she could be, but I’d worn a condom and this had been like six weeks ago.

But fuck. What if she was and it wasn’t mine? Damn it.

Though I didn’t know she was. Lots of illnesses make you sick here and there, right?

Fuck. Me.

“What?” I asked, trying to sound angry like I had before, but it didn’t come out like that.

Camden let out a tired sigh and shook her head. “What I tell you has to stay with us.”

“Of course it will,” Cobb promised.

“I’m serious here. You can’t tell anyone.”

Now Urban and Cobb groaned at the same time.

“Don’t tell me, then,” Urban told her. “If I can’t tell Everly, then don’t tell me.”

“Yeah, same,” Cobb agreed. “Monroe would understand why I kept the secret, but I don’t want to keep any from her, so pass.”

Camden’s eyes hardened, which meant she was about to threaten us when all I needed was for her to say something. I needed to know this information because right now, I felt like I was the one who was going to vomit.

As I tried to convince myself that couldn’t be the case because if I’d gotten Harlowe pregnant, she would’ve told me—I thought—Camden swallowed hard.

“Fine,” she said. “You can tell those two, but that’s it. Seriously. I’m not supposed to tell anyone, so I need this to be locked in the vault.”

After they all promised, while I didn’t promise shit, I demanded, “Tell us.”

She bit her lips together and folded her hands in front of herself. “She is pregnant, but she hasn’t told anyone yet. I only know because I was there when she took the test. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t even know. I opened for her yesterday because she was in the hospital getting fluids, like I said.” She blew out a quick breath. “That was weird. There were so many babies crying up there. Anyway…” She shook her head, like she was trying to remove an unwanted image. “I was there today and then when Urban called, Harlowe told me to go, she’s fine on her own, and here I am.”

I would’ve sworn that someone had punched me in the gut. My breath was barely moving and I knew, without a doubt, that if Harlowe was pregnant, that baby was mine.

All of a sudden, the memory of her coming to talk to me outside the field slammed through me. Was that why she said we needed to talk? Had she come to tell me that I’d gotten her pregnant and in return I was such a big dick to her that she ran off and won’t even answer a text?

Fuck. It probably was. Damn it.

Clearly she hadn’t told Camden who the father was because if Harlowe had told her, Camden wouldn’t be this nice to me. I’d at least get her shooting evil daggers at me while she made snide comments. Even if she didn’t address it directly, I’d know.

“Who’s the dad?” Amity asked as the bus pulled up.

My stomach and chest tightened as I waited for Camden’s answer.

“I don’t know,” she said. “She won’t tell me and she’s not seeing anyone, so it’s not a boyfriend. She clearly was with someone, but yeah. She said I’d probably know sooner than I think, but for now, she’s not saying anything.”

“Has she told the dad?” Amity was the real VIP asking the questions that I wanted the answer to, but this one, I knew.

She hadn’t fucking told me.

“I don’t think so,” Camden said. “Not yet. She said she tried, but he wasn’t receptive.”

Fuck she’d tried. It had to be that day outside the field not far from where we were standing right now. I was about to say… what I didn’t know, but Cobb said we had to go. Everyone else had gotten on the bus and we shouldn’t make them wait for us. After a quick goodbye to Camden, we boarded and I sat with this life-changing information. There wasn’t a thing I could do about it because I was on a six-day road trip.

Then I did something I hadn’t done in a while. I sent Harlowe a text, but it didn’t deliver. Fuck.

She had me blocked.

This was going to be a long trip.

I was alone with my thoughts until we were on the plane headed to the West Coast. That was when Silas dropped into the seat beside me. The team flew on our own plane and we had enough room to not have to sit right by each other. So if he was here, there was a reason for it.

“What?” I snapped without meaning to.

Silas raised his eyebrows as a smirk appeared. “I noticed you’ve seemed a little off-balance since Camden told us Harlowe’s pregnant.”

Well, that was an understatement, but I wouldn’t tell him that. “You’re seeing things.”

He chuckled and sat back, indicating that he wasn’t going anywhere. “I don’t think I am. See, you came to my house talking about some woman you slept with recently, probably the All-Star break if I had to guess, which was, what? Six, seven weeks ago? I’m not the best at math, but I think that’s near when women find out they’re pregnant.”

Giving him a scowl, I said, “Is there a point to this conversation?”

“Oh, yeah.” He turned to me. “Was Harlowe the woman you slept with?”

I closed my eyes and took a breath. “Why are you asking me that? I’m not with Harlowe.”

“Oh, I know you’re not, but did you sleep with her?”

I ground my teeth together and glared at him, which, unfortunately, was all he needed.

His eyes widened as he quietly said, “Oh, shit. You did. That’s your kid.”

After glancing around to make sure no one was looking, I lowered my voice and said, “You know as much as I do.”

“Oh, fuck.” He scratched the back of his head, though there was humor in his voice. “You didn’t know?”

“No.”

“But it’s yours, right? You slept with her?”

I swallowed hard and pulled him close with my hand on the back of his neck. “Keep your fucking voice down. I don’t know. I assume it’s mine, but she hasn’t said dick to me, so I don’t know.”

He sat up straight. “Call her. Call her right now. On speaker, preferably.”

“Fuck off.” I gave him a push as he laughed quietly. “I sent her a text. Pretty sure I’m blocked.”

“Oh, shit. What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Then I sighed. That wasn’t quite true. I had just admitted to having sex with my sister’s best friend, but also, I’d brushed her off. “She came to talk to me outside the field recently and I was a dick to her. I’ll deal with this when I get home, but for now, you keep your mouth shut.”

Silas held his hand up in front of him. “Of course I’m going to keep my mouth shut I just can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle.” Then he cocked his head to the side. “Maybe I can get Amity pregnant and we can have kids together.”

I snorted. “That’s a terrible reason to have a kid.”

He shrugged. “It is, but I want to have kids with her eventually, anyway.”

“Don’t do that. Also, she kind of has a say in all this.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m just saying.”

“What do you think Amity’s answer would be?” I asked to humor him, but also make him touch reality.

With a wide grin, he said, “She’d tell me to go fuck myself.”

“Exactly. Now go back to your own seat.”

So that I could stew in this information for a few hours on the plane and try to figure out what the hell I was going to do when I got home.

But damn… the idea of being a dad released a bunch of pressure in my chest and I realized just how much I wanted this and I hadn’t even known it.

Just as I hadn’t when it came to Harlowe.

I’d have to figure out how to get both when I got home.