Page 7

CHAPTER 7

brOOKS

S eeing Harlowe show up outside the park pissed me off. We’d been successfully ignoring each other for over a month. There was no reason not to keep doing it.

Did that make me an asshole? Probably.

Should I have listened to her outside? Again, maybe, but she couldn’t just show up when the fuck she wanted and expect me to drop to my knees in thanks. She wanted to talk? Well, too bad. I had a game to get ready for.

But fuck, she was back under my skin.

I tried to brush it off for the game. At first, it seemed to work, but my brain was able to stew in it and I was irritated. Even more so because they’d moved the game up from a night game to a day game due to the shitty weather we were definitely getting tonight. That had fucked up people’s schedules.

Cobb shook his head at me again as I called the sign. I clenched my jaw and told the ump I needed a minute. Out to the mound I went.

“What’s your problem?” I asked him.

He furrowed his brows. “I don’t have a problem, but why won’t you call for the fast ball?”

“Because he’s going to hit it.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Pick a fucking pitch.”

“Call a fucking fastball. Outside.”

Anger boiled inside me and even in the moment, I knew it shouldn’t have been directed at him, but if he wanted the fast ball, then fuck it. I’d give it to him. When the guy hit a home run, I didn’t want to hear Cobb bitching about it.

Back behind the plate, I called what he wanted. The batter swung and he missed. The shitty, cheese-eating grin on Cobb’s face almost pushed me over.

He knew it too.

After the game, we filed into the clubhouse. I tore off my jersey and threw it over to the bin where our laundry went. I just wanted to get showered and go home so that I could be irritated in my own space.

“What’s your problem today?” Cobb asked. He’d pitched a great game and we’d won. I loved having a cushion going into the run for playoffs. We were handily in first place and if we kept up our current pace, we’d be in the playoffs without a problem.

Now, I just needed to not fuck it up.

“No problem,” I told him without looking over.

He laughed loudly. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Something has you pissed. You’re so aggressive today. You’ve been in a bad mood for a while, but today seems special.”

I glowered at him, but that never worked. “Fuck off, Cobb.”

“See?” He held his hands up. “Aggressive.”

Shaking my head, I decided to ignore him. At least until Urban said, “You have been in a shitty mood since you hurt your knee. Is that still bothering you?”

“Nope.” As a matter of fact, I hadn’t thought about my knee for weeks. I was back to full strength playing and I’d only missed one game. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was probably better that he thought it was because of that than the reality.

If Harlowe didn’t want what we’d done to be anything more, that was fine. It pissed me off, though, that she hadn’t just said that. Then come at me today? No way.

“Seems like his knee,” Urban said to Cobb, as if he were trying to whisper.

“It’s not my knee,” I snapped. “It’s nothing.”

I stomped off to the shower then because I wasn’t dealing with those guys right now.

But it got me thinking. Should this be my last year playing? I still had a contract to fulfill, but I was sure I could get out of that. Was my heart not in it anymore?

No. It wasn’t that. I still loved this game and intended to play until I couldn’t. I was in the best shape of my life and playing the best I ever had. Retiring now because I was in a perpetual bad mood wasn’t the answer.

Luckily, I was able to avoid them all until my mom called and said she needed to see me. She was at home, so instead of hibernating in my house like I wanted to, I switched directions and headed there.

“Mom!” I called out when I’d gotten inside. Luckily, even though it’d started to rain, I hadn’t gotten drenched. Just a few drops.

“Kitchen,” she called back to me.

Mom didn’t cook a lot, but she liked to bake, which was what she was doing when I got in there. She pulled out a pan of fresh cookies that smelled so good, I couldn’t help but take one.

“Brooks!” She gasped. “They’re hot.”

They were, but I didn’t want to wait. “Worth it.”

Mom shook her head. “You’re a grown man and yet still act like the kid you were sometimes.”

Because I’d done this for as long as I could remember. Cooling off the cookies just took too long.

“Sure am.” I slid onto the stool at the island. “So, what’s up? You wanted to talk to me and for some reason, it couldn’t be over the phone?”

“Yeah. I do want to talk to you.” She scooped the last bit of cookie dough that would fit on a second pan, then put it in the oven and set the timer. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I pinched my brows together. “What do you mean?”

She cocked her head to the side as she watched me. “I know you pretty well, having been the first person to meet you in life and all. There’s something going on and I know because you’ve been in a shitty mood lately. Is it your knee?”

I shook my head. That injury had been almost nothing of an injury and I wasn’t sure why everyone thought a little knee strain could derail anything, even my mood.

“Then what? Is it a woman?”

Dad had been sitting on the couch when I’d come in and with their layout, he would’ve been able to hear us, given that we weren’t keeping our voices down.

“This is why I told you boys not to get caught up in some woman until you’re done playing,” he offered up, though I hadn’t said it was a woman. I just rolled my eyes.

Dad was just being an asshole.

Mom sighed and waved her hand so I’d follow. We went out the sliding door into the back yard, where the rain had picked up exponentially. It was basically pouring at this point and a rumble of thunder crept across the sky. Reminded me of the night that Monroe ran out in it and I’d told Cobb he was fucked. Their back yard was large and where we were on the patio was completely covered, but out here, Dad wouldn’t be able to give his two cents.

“Tell me,” she said. “I might be the owner of the team you play for, but I’m still your mother.”

“You’re not the owner yet,” I countered. Grandpa still owned it but Mom ran it. Most people referred to her as the owner.

She narrowed her eyes to me. “Brooks.”

“Mother.” I sighed. “As you said, I’m grown. I don’t need to pour my heart out to my mommy even if I’m in a bad mood because of a woman, which I have not said is the case.”

She groaned. “So it’s about a woman, then. Well, if you’re not going to talk to me, talk to your brothers. Get whatever it is off your chest so you can stop being an asshole to your teammates.”

“You mean my brothers.” Because as far as I could remember, I hadn’t been warm with the other guys on the team, but I hadn’t been an asshole.

“Who happen to be your teammates.”

She did have a point there, but the problem with having so many siblings was that if I told my brothers what had happened, Camden would find out. Not even on purpose. It was hard to keep a secret from that girl if more than one or two of us knew it.

That meant I’d talk to one brother.

When I left my parents’ house, I headed over to Silas’s. He’d bought a house for him and Amity because there was no question that my brothers were staying put. They had that option since our mother ran the team and this way, they wouldn’t be making their women leave the lives they had here.

When I got out of the car, I hurried up to the door to hopefully not get completely drenched. Then I rang the bell.

Silas opened the door so I could step in.

“Was I expecting you?” he asked as I took my shoes off. They were wet and Silas would hate for me to track that around his house.

“You weren’t, but do you have some time?”

“Yeah, of course.” I followed him deeper into the house. “What kind of conversation is this?” he asked. “Is it a head down to the basement kind of thing so no one will hear us or just a visit?”

“Where’s Amity?” That was the only person who’d overhear us.

“Went to see her dad.”

“Then why would you ask if we needed to go to the basement? Anywhere would be fine.”

He shrugged as sat down into a chair in the living room, where the TV was playing a sports recap show. All of us tended to watch them to see what was being said about how we’d played.

“She could come home.”

True. But we could just stop talking then.

“What’re they saying?” I asked as I pointed at the TV because I hadn’t been home yet to catch anything.

“They say we look good for the World Series.” He glanced over at me. “Though according to them, you don’t look fully back from your knee strain last month. Personally, I think it’s more attitude than injury.”

“Yeah.” Using the TV as a distraction so I wouldn’t have to look over at him for a second was easy. “How is Coach Kincaid?”

Amity’s dad had coached all of us in high school. Now we hadn’t all always been on the same team, but Silas and I had been for two years in high school. Cobb and I had never played together because the age gap was too much. Urban and I had only been together when he was a freshman and I was a senior.

“He’s good.” Then he chuckled. “He’s got this girlfriend and Amity’s basically terrified that they’re going to get married.”

“She doesn’t want her dad to get married?”

He shrugged. “It’s not that. It’s more about the changing dynamic. It’s only been the two of them since Bishop died.” In an accident Silas had blamed himself for until recently. “So it’s like she thinks she’ll have to call the woman ‘Mom’ or something.”

I snorted. “I can see her not wanting to do that.” Amity was a sweetheart, but she was also protective of her dad. Always had been, but it had gotten worse after her brother had died.

“So…” Silas drew the word out.

“Right.” I sat back on the couch. “What would you think if I retired?” I wasn’t going to do it, but asking that was easier than telling him what the real issue was.

Silas chuckled. “You’re not retiring unless you’re a fucking idiot, which you aren’t. So what’s really going on?”

I let out a long sigh. “All right, but this is court-mandated silence.” Which was what we used to say when we’d been kids and hadn’t wanted anyone—not even the other brothers—to know. Silas was closest in age to me so we’d had a lot of secrets in high school. Most of which the other brothers could know. Sometimes, they couldn’t.

He nodded, but his face grew more serious as I said, “I’m wondering if my heart’s just not in it anymore.”

Silas shook his head. “Your heart’s in it. You had a small injury. I think you’re just beating yourself up over it because you’re the one who never gets hurt. Then you got hurt.”

That was all true, but…

“I’m just not sure. I don’t feel—”

“Stop,” he said, moving to the edge of his seat. “You love this job just like the rest of us. You’re not retiring. You just need something else. An outlet. Maybe a relationship.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re only saying that because of Amity.” Before her, Silas had been sleeping around more than I ever had.

“But she’s a fantastic outlet and look how happy all of your brothers are.”

Now that was true. Silas had wanted Amity since they were teenagers, but she was his best friend’s little sister, which had been forbidden. Then when Bishop had died, he’d blamed himself and it was almost as if he’d been punishing himself. He’d just walked away and never talked to her until she’d started working for the team this season.

Then Urban, the fucking king of one-night stands, met Everly and had his one night. Turned out to not be enough. Now that, I could relate to. Cobb met Monroe by accident in a coffee shop, but due to his own shit, wouldn’t even think about a relationship. It didn’t help that Cobb and Urban had both been dead set on leaving Kalamazoo at the end of the season.

Now they weren’t going anywhere.

I laughed at the idea of a relationship. “Look at all the drama that came before your happily-ever-afters.”

Silas snorted. “Worth it. Way fucking worth it. I’m only pissed that I didn’t have all those years in between with her, but she’s worth anything that I had to do or go through to be with her.”

Amity definitely was worth it.

This was where the real part should come in, so I said, “What if I told you there already is someone?”

“Seriously?” His eyes widened. “Then whatever you did, apologize.”

I shook my head. “Was. There was someone. It was only one time.”

“But you want it to be more?” he asked. I took a deep breath and stared at him. That was all the answer he was going to get. “Right, so what’s the problem?”

“It was one time. Haven’t spoken since.” Technically we had but it didn’t count. I was a dick to her today outside of the field and regretted it every moment since.

The hurt on her face… the way she backed away. Fuck. I wish I hadn’t been so stubborn.

“Go after her,” he said immediately. “Wait. Is this someone you just met? I need more information. When was this? How long have you been pining?”

I scowled. “I’m not pining, dumbass. It was a while ago. Not long. What-the-fuck-ever, but it was a one-time thing and I can’t go after her.”

My brother scowled and shook his head slowly. “Did you fall in love with her after one night? It must’ve been good.”

Groaning, I regretted ever coming here right that moment. “No. I’ve known her. We had one time together, but I’ve known her much longer.”

“OK, when? Where? Who is it?” Silas was a little too eager.

“I’m not telling you any of that. If I do, you’ll figure out who it is and there’s no way in hell I’m telling you that.”

He scowled again like he often had when were little. “OK, well, I can tell you that number one, you’re not retiring. And number two, if you’re in love with this woman, there shouldn’t be any excuses.”

“Oh, there are a ton of reasons . Not excuses.”

He held his hand up to stop me. “It doesn’t matter. If she’s the one, go after her. Apologize for anything you’ve done. I’m assuming you were an asshole to her in some way, so apologize.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy.” Not to mention she was Camden’s best friend. This would cause problems if I tried to make it anything more than what it already was.

“Sounds like more excuses to me. If you remember when I wanted to stay away from Amity, you were the one who got my head out of my ass. I’ll do the same for you, brother, but you have to at least try.”

There was no doubt that Harlowe would be worth it to deal with whatever the fallout was, but the way I’d treated her today when she’d said she’d wanted to talk to me might’ve been the nail in the coffin as far as anything else went. I supposed I could start with telling her I just wanted to know what she’d come to talk to me about, but even then, I didn’t think she’d talk to me.

But fuck. I needed to try.