Page 8

CHAPTER 8

HARLOWE

O ne of my favorite times of the day was when I was the first person at the restaurant and no one else was there. The place was quiet. Almost serene in its calmness. It was one of the reasons I never minded opening. Closing was tougher because there was so much to do before you could go home and you were already tired, but ironically, most of the staff would rather close than open.

Worked for me. I still closed sometimes, but the tips were usually better at dinner and into the night, which was why the staff wanted to work then.

Once I had things going in the kitchen and the dining area set up, I went into the office to go over some orders that I needed to make today. It’d been a week since I’d found out I was pregnant and had done a decent job of putting it out of my mind until I was alone in bed freaking out about the whole situation.

It’d been a rough week. Brooks had sent a couple of texts but I ignored them without reading it. I’d have to address the issue eventually but right now wasn’t the time.

Every time I thought I had a handle on the whole idea, I was hit with a bout of morning sickness, which was a misnomer. It hit in the morning, in the afternoon. Whenever it felt like and oh, I discovered this morning that I couldn’t eat eggs and drink orange juice in the same meal. I’d had it the other day and spent some time emptying it all into the toilet. Then I’d had it this morning and again… something about the combination the little poppy seed inside me didn’t like.

I didn’t know if the fetus was poppy-seed-sized, but I liked to think so.

Keeping this baby was something I’d decided right from the start. I was totally pro-choice, but this was my choice, and damn. This was rough.

And here it went again.

I barely made it to the bathroom before the nothing in my stomach appeared.

This was such bullshit and I was already over it. How was I going to do this for another eight months or however long it would be? I’d called and made my first appointment with my gynecologist because she did obstetrician stuff as well, but since I had still been so early when I’d called, about five weeks at that time, my appointment wasn’t for another couple of weeks. She was a busy woman.

But then the morning sickness happened again. And a third time.

After that, I was wiped out. I already had energy issues, which the internet told me was totally normal in the first trimester. This time, when I stood up, the room around me shifted and my stomach cramped, almost like I was about to have a period.

I didn’t know what it was but knew it wasn’t right.

As soon as I could get my sea legs back under me, I hurried back to the office where my phone was and called my doctor’s office. This felt urgent to me and fear was creeping over me, causing my palms to sweat and my heart to race. I wasn’t sure if it was the morning sickness or being scared that made my legs wobbly.

The nurse on the phone told me that I should come in right away. There might be a wait, but the doctor would want to see me, though she sounded relieved when I said there hadn’t been any bleeding.

Luckily, the nurse fit me in almost right away. First, I called one of my assistant managers to open up. Luz was supposed to come in in just a few hours anyway, but she couldn’t come in and was very apologetic about it. I couldn’t fault her. Off time was off time. I’d have to deal with it later. I locked up the bar and grill and posted a sign that we’d be open a bit later before hurrying off to my car. I wanted to be at the doctor’s office more than anything else right now.

Sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of very pregnant women had my knee bouncing from nerves. Would I get to that point? Even sitting here, my head was woozy. Sure, no one could look at me and tell that I was pregnant, but I was. Though almost every other pregnant woman had someone with her—a partner, I assumed.

I didn’t have that. I didn’t have anyone to hold my hand while I was scared. No one to help me when things got hard. And doing this alone was going to be so fucking hard. What was I thinking?

By the time my name was called, I was on the verge of tears, which wasn’t like me at all. It had to have been hormones.

The nurse got my weight and blood pressure then took me back to an exam room. “I’m going to have you take off everything from the waist down. Doctor wants to do an internal exam to make sure everything looks all right.”

“Got it.”

Then she left me alone so I could get undressed. Once my underwear was properly hidden under my shorts, I hopped up onto the table and waited. When the doctor came in, a wave of relief washed over me. She’d find out if there was something wrong.

“Hey, Harlowe.” Dr. Fitzgerald greeted me as she sat on the rolling stool. She was so gorgeous that it was almost unfair. To look like that and be smart. As they say, sometimes god gives with both hands. She was only a little taller than me with gorgeous deep brown skin from her Indian parents. “I’d ask how you’re doing, but I think if you were great, you wouldn’t be here right now. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I took a home test last week and I’m pregnant.”

“Right.” She was looking at me with such kindness and understanding that I was about to crumble.

“I’d been sick. Lots of throwing up. Anyway, it hasn’t stopped. This will be the third week. I’m barely able to eat or drink anything at this point. A few sips here and there, but that’s it. Today, while I was at work, I got hit with a wave and when I stood up, my stomach cramped and I got lightheaded. The internet says a lot of this is normal, but I hadn’t read that. It freaked me out.”

She nodded as she typed notes into her laptop. “That would be scary. I’m going to check you out, but it sounds like you’re probably very dehydrated.” That would make sense since this kid wouldn’t let me eat or drink anything. “So let’s get started.”

Dr. Fitzgerald first used her thumbs to pull my bottom eyelids down. Then she felt around my neck and shoulders before telling me to lie back. Internal exams weren’t my favorite thing in the world, but they didn’t bother me. I didn’t think any woman loved it, to be honest.

“Your cervix definitely looks pregnant,” she said. I didn’t know what that meant. “But it looks the way it’s supposed to. No bleeding or spotting?” I shook my head as a tear released from each eye. “That’s good.” She removed her gloves and washed her hands then brought the little table extender out so that I could put my legs down. Then she pushed around my abdomen.

“All right, everything seems to be the way it should be,” she explained as she brought this machine over closer to me. “I’m going to do an ultrasound, but I want to warn you. It would be normal not to see anything this early. If I did a vaginal ultrasound, maybe, but I don’t think you need that.” She squirted this cold gel on my stomach then waved the wand around it. “As I said, you’re still early. Your uterus is behind your pelvic bone, so I didn’t see anything.” She pushed the machine away. “So, I’m going to run a rapid HCG to check your levels. Make sure all of that is normal, but you’re really dehydrated. I’d like you to go over to the hospital for some fluids.”

My eyes widened. “The hospital?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “You’ll get an IV and a few bags of fluid. We can’t do that here. You’ll feel a lot better and hopefully, once you’re hydrated again, the vomiting will lessen.”

“Do I really need that?” I pushed to sit up.

“I think you do. Dehydration can be dangerous in pregnancy. Especially early. This is when everything is coming together. Everything is being made from scratch. Dehydration could interrupt that.”

“All right,” I agreed. “Whatever I have to do.” Because causing this kid’s problems was the last thing I wanted to do. There was already enough that the baby would have to deal with just for having a single mom and a dad who was in the spotlight.

“We’ll draw the blood here. I can call you when we have the results.”

“What’s the most important one?” I asked her, clutching the paper blanket to my body as if she hadn’t just seen everything there was of me to see.

“Right now, the HCG. That will tell us how the pregnancy’s doing. How much hormone helps determine how pregnant you are and can also indicate if there’s a risk of losing the pregnancy.”

I blew out a quick breath as my stomach sank. Losing the pregnancy? That moment right there made clear just how much I wanted this baby now. “How long does it take?”

“To get the results?” she asked and I nodded. “I’m doing a rapid, so no more than five minutes since we have the lab right here.”

I bit back and forth on my bottom lip as the idea that something could actually be wrong and I was here all alone set in. What if something happened? I had no one to support me.

Wait. That wasn’t true. I could call Camden and she’d come running, but the pressure was like an actual weight pushing down my shoulders. The fear that I’d somehow messed this up turned my stomach into an acid wasteland that just made me sicker.

“How about you go get the blood drawn then wait in the waiting room for those results? The you can go over to the ED for the IV,” the doctor said as I began to spiral. Maybe she saw it on my face, but I’d take waiting here over going and worrying.

The lab wasn’t busy, which meant I got right in. Sitting there back out with the visible pregnant women, my stomach clenched—not from sickness this time, but from the weight of doing this alone, as I planned. I wasn’t kidding myself. Once Brooks found out, he’d insist on being involved with his kid. There was no world where he would just turn his back on his own child. None of the Briggses would, but seeing all these couples around me, I suddenly felt like I was standing on the edge of something I wasn’t ready for.

Maybe doing this alone wasn’t the best idea and even worse, eventually, Brooks would figure this out… I really wasn’t looking forward to that day.

Thankfully, the test didn’t take long, as the doctor said. A nurse called my name and I followed her back to the doctor’s office. They didn’t put me in an exam room, which I wasn’t sure whether to take as a good sign or a bad.

I was only sitting there a minute before my doctor came in and closed the door behind her. She also didn’t take a seat behind her desk, but in the chair next to me.

“All right,” she began. “The rapid HCG is good. It’s really good. Exactly where I’d expect it to be for where you’re at. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about and once you get hydrated, you’re going to feel much better.”

A breath rushed out of me for an entirely different reason than it had earlier. It was of relief. I hadn’t screwed this up at all. According to her, the pregnancy was perfect.

“Relieved?” she asked.

I gave her the best smile I could, considering I still felt like trash. “I am.”

“Good. Here is your prescription for your prenatal vitamins. Take them every day. They’ll help. Get those fluids and I think you’ll feel like a new woman.”

“I hope you’re right,” I told her.

“But don’t hesitate to call if you need to. Even after hours.” She stood, which I took to mean we were done here, so I rose out of my seat.

She walked me to the door then took a left while I needed to keep going. Being here like this was a little slap of reality. I’d continued pushing myself even when I hadn’t felt like I could do it instead of resting. Maybe from now on, I’d need to take time when I wasn’t feeling well.

For now, I drove the few blocks over to the hospital and went into the ER. This was what I needed to do.

Usually, an ER trip was hours long because you had a long wait, but when I got to the desk and gave the woman my name she said my doctor had called and they were ready for me in L&D. The labor and delivery floor. My stomach turned. This made it even more real, as if it weren’t already the realest thing I’d ever had to deal with.

A nice volunteer walked me up to the labor and delivery floor, where a young nurse set me up in a room and started my IV. When my eyebrows pinched together at the sound of a baby crying, she patted my hand and said, “You’ll hear a baby from time to time. We’re in the section for moms who have already given birth.”

Again… a crying baby was something I’d have to get used to.

“Would you like to lie down or stay here?” she asked once she’d cleaned up all the trash from the packages she’d opened to start the IV.

“Sit, I think.” Though a nap did sound good, I still had to get someone to come in to open the place. Staff would be arriving soon to a locked building. Couldn’t have that. Luz was coming but she didn’t have a key which I’d momentarily forgotten about—or not thought about—when I called her.

“Perfect. The chair reclines and actually goes all the way back into a makeshift bed. It’s usually where partners sleep while here. It’s not the most comfortable, but they don’t seem to complain.”

“Thank you.” I pulled the lever to put my feet up. If I was going to be here for a few hours, I might as well catch up on some sleep as the fluid dripped into me.

“Press the button if you need anything. I’ll be back to check on you soon.” At the last minute, I asked her to turn the big overhead light off then she pumped some hand sanitizer into her hand and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

There was light coming in from the window as I started calling members of my staff who could open the restaurant for me, but none of them were available. That wasn’t upsetting. People scheduled their lives around work. That was what you had to do and not everyone could open for me. I could call Marco to open, for example. He’d never done it and it wouldn’t be fair.

But there was one person I knew for sure would drop everything for me this morning.

After pressing Camden’s contact, I waited for her to answer as I leaned over to snatch the blanket the nurse had left for me off the bed.

“Hey,” she answered, sounding relaxed. Sometimes, I envied her life. Not that she didn’t have stressors—of course she did—but there were so many things I had to worry about that she just didn’t.

“Hey, Camden. I’m calling for a favor.”

“Shoot.”

“Well.” I quickly blew out a quick breath because I hated asking for favors. “I’m at the hospital—”

“What? Why? Is everything OK?” A door shut behind her and I was glad she was probably moving away from anyone that might’ve been around her. If any of her brothers were there, they’d want to know about the urgency in her voice.

“I’m all right. The baby’s all right. I’m dehydrated, so I’m here getting fluids. Nothing more.”

She groaned. “The morning sickness?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. So, what do you need?” As expected, she was ready to act.

“Could you go to Cleats & Kegs? Close up my office—because I left everything on the desk. Just lock the door. I have my key. Then cover me until Luz comes in?” I winced as if I didn’t know she’d agree to it just because I was asking. “We’re not busy right at open most of the time.”

“Yeah. I can do that.” Her breathing increased, which told me she was already on the move. “I’ll skip the game today if I have to.”

“No, that shouldn’t be necessary. Just let Luz know that I’ll be in when I can be, but she’ll handle everything. No problem.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come sit with you?”

“No. All I need is for someone to open the restaurant. Oh, shoot. Keys. I have mine with me.”

“I’ll come there and get them. On my way.”

Then she ended the call. It wasn’t fifteen minutes later that Camden was coming into my room quietly like she thought I was asleep. Probably would have been if I hadn’t been waiting for her due to the fact that all I wanted to do was sleep. Sitting here showed me how exhausted I was.

“Wow, this is weird.” She giggled quietly. “In a few months, I’ll be here for a totally different reason.”

“Don’t remind me,” I told her as I rolled my eyes. Giving birth wasn’t something I was looking forward to. “Here.” I held out the keychain that had all of the restaurant keys on it. She could figure out which was which. “There’s an opening list next to the register behind the bar.”

“You know I’ve opened with you before?”

I nodded because she’d done it with me a lot in high school on the weekends. “I know. And I appreciate this. I’ll pay you.”

She scowled down at me. “You will not. That’s dumb. I’m doing you a favor and I don’t take money for favors.” Camden set her hand on mine—the one without the IV. “You look so rung over. I bet all this morning sickness the baby is causing is the father’s fault. You’re joy and sunshine. He must be grumpy.”

The snort that came out surprised even me. If only she knew exactly how true all of that was.

“All right,” she said. “I’m going to go open your business. You get some rest. Sleep. You need it. You’re growing a human from scratch. We’ll talk later about me being your birth support person or whatever.”

“Uh… probably the father will want to be there once he knows.”

“Pfh.” She waved her hand through the air. “Maybe he can be there too.”

“Thanks, Camden,” I told her as I snickered and I was almost asleep before she got out the door.

These fluids were supposed to make me feel better and hopefully, I could get back to my normal life for as long as possible.

Because the day was coming, long before the baby was born, where all hell was going to break loose and I’d need all my strength for that.