Page 17

CHAPTER 17

HARLOWE

T here was something different about today. Today, I felt really good. Even on the days the baby didn’t make me sick, there was an underlying rumble in my stomach that kept me from being at my best.

Today, however, that was gone. My hope was that it was due to getting closer to the second trimester or the really good night’s sleep I’d gotten at Brooks’s house. Unfortunately, with my luck, it was probably due to Brooks himself.

Having him around the way he wanted, the talk we’d had, it was like it settled my nerves. The only two things left that could have me on edge was Camden finding out her brother got me pregnant and the idea of having to get this baby out of me one day.

For now, I was getting a lot of work done.

Feeling this way meant I should stay home tonight. Brooks wanted to be there for me when I was sick, but I wasn’t sick today. Not to mention spending too much time with him, which would be inevitable once the baby was here, was likely to cause me more discomfort—in an entirely different way—than the morning sickness. But man, did I want to. Just being close to him was soothing. Even when he was being a demanding asshole.

What can I say? I have a type, apparently.

“Marco!” Camden called out from the front. We didn’t open for ten more minutes, but the staff was here getting ready for their shifts like they did every day.

While snickering, I went through the kitchen to the front of the house, where Camden was sliding onto her favorite barstool. I assumed it was her favorite because she used the same one every time she came in when we were closed.

“Good morning, Polo,” I said, smiling over at her while grabbing a glass, filling it with ice and then water before setting it in front of her.

“Thanks.” She took a quick drink. “Aren’t you supposed to keep the door locked before you open?”

I snorted at that statement. “If I had, how would you have gotten in? Plus, I’m not alone.” As if on cue, Luz came out of the kitchen with a tray full of ketchup.

“All right. All right.” She took another long drink.

“So what’s up?” There had to be a reason she’d come in.

“Nothing. Just knew you’d be here. I have class later and we haven’t talked since you had to leave the game yesterday.” They were down to, I thought, four games, but maybe it was six. “I won’t be at the game tonight,” she added.

“That’s fine. I didn’t plan on going if you asked me,” I told her. “I think the heat got to me yesterday and it’s still supposed to be pretty warm today.”

“Yeah, it is. Since when do we have eighty-degree September days?”

Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t know, but you know once it cools down, we’ll be bitching about the cold.”

She snickered. “That’s true, but seriously, how are you feeling?”

“Good.” I grabbed a cloth to wipe down the counter again, just to give me something to do. Standing still with her staring at me while talking about the baby was a recipe for disaster. It’d give her too much of a chance to see something I didn’t want her to see yet. “I got a really good night’s sleep and…” I bit down on my lip as I tried to decide if I was really going to tell her what else I’d done yesterday. Immediately, I knew I was. “I did talk to the baby daddy yesterday.”

She sat up pin-straight in surprise. “Really? So he knows?” she asked. I nodded. “Does that mean you can tell me who it is now?”

I winced. “Not quite yet,” I lied. We had discussed Camden and Brooks wouldn’t care if I told her, but I did. Now wasn’t the right time. In minutes this place would be flooded with other people and us being in a heated conversation would be bad for business. “We didn’t talk about that, but we did talk about a lot of other things. He wants to be as involved as possible. Wants to take care of me and the baby and I think it’s going to be all right.”

She grinned. “‘Take care’ of you? Does that mean you two are together?”

After rolling my eyes, I said, “No. It doesn’t. We’re not going to be ever, as far as I can tell, but we both want what’s best for the baby.”

“That’s a start.” She slapped her hand down on the bar top like an old-timey cowboy. I thought she might call out yeehaw at some point. Camden opened her mouth to speak, but Luz slid in beside her.

“Hey, Camden,” she said with her fantastic smile. Luz was a beautiful woman with her black hair and dark eyes. Lent an aura of mystery to her. She looked like the beautiful version of a movie witch. Not the one with the wart on her nose but the one that the men all want. The only thing Luz had on her nose was a nose ring. She had five in one ear last I counted and too many for me to count without asking in the other. She even pulled off the beauty mark one just above her lip. It was like she’d been made for this.

“Hey, Luz.” Camden raised an eyebrow, but I shrugged. Luz was nice and always greeted everyone. She was in service and loved good tips so of course she did. But she and Camden weren’t what I’d call friends.

“I have a question and totally get it if you don’t want to answer,” Luz said to her.

Now Camden furrowed her brows as I pretended to be wiping something down when all I was doing was listening to their conversation.

“What’s that?” Camden asked. Luz wouldn’t see it because she didn’t know my best friend the way that I did, but Camden was bracing the way she had through high school whenever a girl had approached her saying she’d had a question. A girl she wasn’t friends with, at least.

“Is your brother Brooks seeing anyone?” Luz watched Camden closely, but even still, she wouldn’t notice just how uncomfortable she’d made her.

“ What ?” Anger was simmering under the surface of Camden’s response, but my stomach dropped.

Luz was interested in Brooks? That made me so uncomfortable for several reasons. I wasn’t shoving my head in the sand thinking that Brooks would never be with another woman. Of course he would. Eventually I’d probably be coparenting with the woman he married. I hated it but it was a fact I had to face. But Luz? A ridiculously beautiful woman who happened to be nice as well. She was the kind of woman who would support Brooks’s relationship with his kid and with me as that kid’s mom.

She was the kind of woman I should’ve wanted Brooks to find.

But fuck, I couldn’t find it in me.

“I’m not in charge of my brother’s social life,” Camden snapped before looking away.

“Sorry,” Luz said right away as she held up her hands with wide eyes. Camden was clear in her tone that she didn’t appreciate the question. “I just didn’t want to step on any toes.”

Camden let out a long sigh. “I don’t know if there are toes to step on or not. I’m not my brother’s keeper.”

Luz bit her lips together and gave a single nod. “OK.” Then she slipped back into the kitchen.

“What the hell was that?” Camden asked me as I slid back down in front of her.

“I don’t know.”

“Did you know she was going to ask about my brother?” she asked. I shook my head because that had taken me off guard too. Camden groaned and dropped her head back so that her face was toward the ceiling. “Fuck my life.”

I snickered. “That might be a little much.”

“I know.” She brought her face back toward me and shook her head again. Dropping her voice so that I’d be the only one to hear her, she said, “It’s just so fucking annoying.”

“I know.” Though she had no idea how my chest ached right now at all the scenarios going through my head.

“I know you do, but damn it. It reminds me of high school every single time. Though then I wasn’t often asked about Brooks. It was mostly Cobb and Urban because they were in the school at the same time as us, but sometimes it was Brooks and Silas too.”

Brooks and I weren’t together, so this shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did. I shouldn’t have cared who he decided to date or have sex with, but I was only fooling Camden here with how it did make me feel.

Just absolutely gutted. I thought I’d have time before I had to deal with this.

She sighed again. “I guess I should just be glad that I ended up best friends with the one person who finds my brothers and baseball players in general repulsive.”

Yeah. No. I used the line I had always used when she said that. “I never said I find all baseball players repulsive. I also have never said your brothers are repulsive.”

Camden kept going as if she hadn’t heard me. “I love my brother’s girlfriends—the guys chose well—but it’s nice to have someone I don’t have to share with them.”

She made a choking sound in her throat, so I held up my hand.

“Sorry, Camden. Your brothers are ridiculously hot. Especially in the baseball pants. I can acknowledge that while also acknowledging that they can all be assholes.”

“I hate them,” she said as a smile tugged her lips, but I had to laugh.

“No. You don’t.” The first customers of the day came in with their loud conversation, making us both glance at the door.

“Well, I should go. You have work and I have to get to school.”

“Have a good day,” I said sweetly, which got me a middle finger over her shoulder.

It was going to be so bad when she found out and there was no way to hide my baby daddy’s identity forever.

I waited until after work to text Brooks letting him know that I felt great and didn’t need to come to his house. As much as I wanted to, a little bit of distance was for the best. It would help me keep these suddenly raging hormones at bay. Out of sight. Out of mind.

It was too close to game time that I didn’t expect and answer so when I didn’t get one, it was fine.

Only I turned on the baseball game, which meant nothing was out of sight or out of mind. That was where I ate dinner, just a sandwich because I didn’t feel like cooking, and when the game ended, a loss for the Knights, I turned on my favorite binge show, Gilmore Girls . I’d seen it probably a hundred times, but it was reliable.

That was where I was when someone knocked on my door.

I should’ve predicted that Brooks would be standing on the other side, but not even a clairvoyant could’ve guessed he’d have a bag in his hand.

As soon as I’d opened the door, he pushed in.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked him, shutting the door so that nosy neighbors wouldn’t be privy to our conversation.

“If you’re not staying with me, then I’m staying with you,” he said. “I already told you that.”

Shaking my head, I told him, “I don’t need you to stay here, Brooks.” Then I crossed the small distance between us. “I understand that you want to be here for me, but I don’t need that right now. I feel good.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Harlowe, that wasn’t only about when you’re sick. It’s all of it.”

“So you expect me to live with you? Just be there every day when nothing’s happening?” In my mind that was a crazy thing for me to say. Something to scare him off.

Yet he kept surprising me.

“If you would do that, yes.” He reached out and ran his thumb over my cheek, making my spine straighten. This was the first physical contact we’d had since that day and that small touch flooded my body with hormones.

“Relying on anyone else makes me uncomfortable,” I admitted quietly while looking into his dark eyes.

His large hand cupped my cheek. “Why is that?”

After quickly wetting my lips and trying to will my pounding heart to calm down, I told him, “I couldn’t rely on anyone growing up. I probably could have relied on Camden, but I learned early that I have to do this life on my own.” Then I groaned. “And Luz asked if you were seeing anyone today. Camden was all kinds of upset about it.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Asked Camden?” he prodded. I nodded. “Why would she know?”

I shrugged, which made his arm move with my shoulder, but he didn’t remove his hand. In fact, he added the other one to my other cheek.

“What did Camden tell her?”

“That she wouldn’t know. She’s not your keeper.”

“What did you tell her?”

I winced back, making his hands drop. “I didn’t say anything. I don’t know your life.”

“Harlowe,” he chastised, but he was cut off by another knock on the door.

Without thinking, I opened it, even though I hadn’t checked the peephole.

Camden hurried into my apartment. “You’re not going to believe what happened today.” Then she stopped dead when she saw her brother there with a bag at his feet.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked Brooks as I slowly shut the door.

This was my absolute worst nightmare situation. My legs shook as my heart rate picked up, causing my chest to hurt and it was suddenly too hot in my apartment. This was absolutely the last thing I wanted to happen. It just wasn’t a great way for her to find out.

Brooks folded his arms over his chest but looked at me without answering her.

Camden’s gaze swung from him to me and then back a couple of times before she put it together the way I’d known she would the moment she’d stepped in.

A rush of air came out of her before she said, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Watch it, Camden,” he warned.

“Watch what, Brooks? I thought I had one thing in my life to myself. One thing I didn’t have to share with any of you and maybe that makes me selfish, but I wanted one thing of my own.”

“Camden,” I said quietly, not sure if I was about to apologize for sleeping with her brother or what was going to come out of my mouth.

“No.” She raised her finger to point at me. “You don’t get to Camden me. He’s the baby daddy, isn’t he?” When I didn’t answer, she yelled, “ Isn’t he? ”

“Hey.” Brooks took a step forward, but I reached out and stopped him then stepped in front of him.

“You stay out of this,” I told him without looking back. This was between Camden and me.

“I guess I was wrong this whole time?” she asked loudly. Now, Camden wasn’t a crier unless you really, really pissed her off and right now, she had tears forming. It was probably a combination of being hurt and angry.

“You weren’t wrong the whole time,” I snapped.

“Well, he’s the baby daddy, right?” she demanded. I took a deep breath then nodded. “Does everyone but me know?”

“Only Silas,” Brooks told her.

“Perfect.” She threw her hands up in the air then let them smack the sides of her legs. “Perfect. My best friend wouldn’t tell me, but you’re out there telling people.”

“That’s not how it happened,” he protested, but she held up a hand to say she didn’t want to hear it.

“Were you just playing the long game?” That was directed at me.

“What?”

“The long game. Just be friends with me all this time so that one day you could leap.”

I snapped back, causing me to stumble right into Brooks, who was standing closer behind me than I’d figured. “Stop it, Camden.” Now my stupid eyes were filling with tears too. “You know that’s not true. Let’s just talk about it. Let me explain.”

“No.” She turned to the door and yanked it open. “You’ve got what you wanted, right?”

Then she was gone and I couldn’t hold the tears back. I turned with my hands covering my face and buried myself against Brooks’s chest. He wrapped those strong arms around me.

“I really wish you would’ve let me calm her down,” he said with his cheek against my hair. “She’ll get over this.”

After pushing away from him, I yelled, “No, she won’t! You don’t know your sister like I do. You know her as a sister. I know her as a person. This is the one thing she’s sensitive about. The one thing. I threw it all away for one time with you. One fucking time.”

He folded his arms over his chest and steeled his gaze. “This can’t all be about Camden, can it? What’s going on, Harlowe?”

Tears streamed down my eyes and I didn’t care how much of an ugly crier I was at this point. I couldn’t stop them.

“It’s your sister. It’s buying the bar or not buying the bar since that was my fucking life plan. It’s these god-damned hormones make me so horny, yet I can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s not like I go pick up some random person to fuck the way you can. That would put the baby at risk and I don’t know the fucking rules.” I yelled the last part louder. So much for my neighbors not hearing anything.

I blew out a hot breath. Saying all of that had somehow made me feel a little better. I still felt awful for the argument with Camden, but saying it all out loud lifted a weight off my shoulders. It was helpful to have someone know all of it, someone I could rant to.

“Listen.” He leaned back against the wall where he was standing. “I can’t do anything about my sister right now. She’s not going to listen to me, but I will talk to her once she’s calmed down. Just know that my entire family is about to find out that we’re having a baby.”

“I know.” After quickly wiping the moisture from my face, I let out a breath.

If Camden knew and was pissed, she was likely going to vent to her brothers since I wasn’t an option. Who knew how many people they’d tell.

“So I can’t do fuck all about her, but I can help you with the horny part.”

I furrowed my brows and stepped back. “What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

He snorted. “I’m not. I can help with releasing all those hormones and I’m not some random guy who will put the baby at risk.”

That was a good point, but I wasn’t sure I could just have sex with him. The first time had already made my feelings grow deeper along with the fact that he wanted to be here every step of the way when he could’ve told me to fuck off and thrown money at the problem.

Sex with him again… I wasn’t sure I could handle the feelings that would come with it.