Page 55 of True Sight (Nat. 20, #4)

CONRAD

T he afternoon rolls by as I continue to work on the most important project I’ve ever worked on.

After meeting with Hank yesterday, I know what I want—who I want.

And that person is Henry. But I don’t just want him, I want my friends to know about him too.

I want to be able to share the person who’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been with the people who are like my family.

For my two worlds to finally come together.

I’ve been working on it all afternoon after the idea came to me on a walk with Annie.

And listening to it back now that it’s finished, I know it’s perfect.

I’ve spent the day in a makeshift recording studio I set up in my closet.

Using blankets and pillows, I muffled the noises of the outside world and pressed record on an expensive microphone I purchased years ago for a client project.

Holding it to my chest, I let it record a sixty second track of my heartbeat.

I remember how he said listening to it settles him and with this, he can listen to it even when I’m not around.

Over and over again, I repeat this process but each time doing something to make my heart speed up or slow down in order to capture different frequencies on tape.

I can’t wait to tell him how I sprinted in place in my closet for two minutes and quickly pushed record to capture my racing heart.

As I work to edit down the audio files I captured, I know this is the perfect way to give him my heart.

My stomach sinks, sensing that something terrible has happened even though my brain isn’t sure what it can be. I have a voicemail from both numbers and decide to listen to the local number first, assuming there’s less of a chance that it’s spam than the international one.

“Conrad, hey, it’s Alex, Henry’s friend who works with him at the studio.

Look, I know we don’t know each other and that you and Henry are in some kind of whatever but I wanted you to know he’s been in a car accident.

He’s at MUSC in the intensive care unit and…

” Her voice catches in her throat before blubbering, “ He’s in really bad shape.

Please, if you get this message, call or text me back. ”

The line goes dead and my fingers act on autopilot, clicking through to the other voicemail that has been left by the +44 number.

“Hello, my name is Ellie Wheeler. I’m Henry’s best friend in London.

He gave me your number when he came home for my wedding so I hope it’s okay to call you.

I’ve just been notified that he’s been in a car accident and is being taken to the Medical University of South Carolina Hospital.

He has me listed as his emergency contact everywhere and keeps my number in his pocketbook in case of emergencies.

Someone must have found it because they called to notify me that he’s been in a pretty bad car accident.

I’ve already called Alex since I had her number, too, and am catching the red eye out of London in a few hours to get there as soon as I can.

” There is a similar pause in her message just like there was in Alex’s.

“If you want to go and see him, it will mean a lot to him. He loves you, Conrad, so much more than he will ever be able to show you. I hope to see you as soon as I can.”

I stand frozen at my kitchen bar, phone hovering a few inches away from my face, staring out into the void as my brain tries to process what it heard.

Henry.

Car accident.

Intensive care unit.

Really bad shape.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been standing here and I would have remained frozen if it weren’t for Annie who jumps up on my leg and pulls me out of my daze.

Looking around my apartment, I’m not sure what I’m doing but I move quickly, grabbing my keys, wallet, and jacket before heading out the front door with my shoes half on.

Annie must sense my urgency because she doesn’t try to bolt out the door like she normally does.

I sprint down the hallway and stab at the elevator call button until the doors finally open for me.

Once it hits the lower level, I break out into another sprint, heading for my car.

I pull out of the parking garage at breakneck speed and hit ‘call’ on my phone.

Margaret answers after only a few rings.

“Hey, Mills, what’s up?” Her voice is naively chipper.

“Margaret,” I cry out, trying to collect the right words. My breath is short and feels like it’s stabbing me in the throat with each new breath.

“Conrad, what’s wrong?”

“It’s…it’s Henry.” My voice cracks as I say his name and I can feel the corners of my eyes getting wet.

I blink a few times and wish more than anything that there wasn’t so much fucking traffic in this city.

Why do so many people move here, we don’t have space for anymore people. “He’s been in an accident.”

I hear her gasp on the other end. “Where is he?”

“He’s at MUSC, in the ICU, can you?—”

“I’m leaving right now,” she cuts me off, knowing exactly where I’m going next. I was never looking for a friend when I met Margaret but I’m forever thankful that I have her now.

“Margaret,” I say again.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” I choke out, needing her to know how much I appreciate her.

“I love you, too, Mills. I’ll see you soon.”

I pull into the parking lot of the medical hospital twenty minutes later and run into the emergency room.

My head whips around until it lands on the large nurses stand in the center of the bustling space.

Jogging up to it, I look at the overworked nurse sitting at the desk clicking away on her computer.

“Henry Baker, where is he?” I hurry out, sounding almost manic.

The older woman looks up at me over her glasses and takes a breath. “And hello to you, too, darling,” she quips with a slight roll of her eyes.

“Are you kidding?” I snap, a fierce frustration burning in my gut that she’s trying to be funny right now. “Henry Baker, please tell me what room he’s in,” I say louder, leaning over the counter closer to her.

“Conrad?” A voice comes from behind me and I turn to find a woman with striking features and long black hair looking back at me. She’s wearing a black sweatshirt and tight leggings that compliment her toned legs. With a pair of oversized sneakers on her feet, I can guess who she is.

“Alex?” I ask in one breath before her body flies into mine, wrapping me in a hug.

“Thank god, you came. I felt so horrible leaving that voicemail but you weren’t answering my calls. I didn’t think you were going to come.” My arms wrap around her as if she isn’t a complete stranger to me. Henry has talked to me about her multiple times but we haven’t actually met yet.

“I was working on something so I didn’t have my phone. Where is he? Can I see him?” My voice is desperate as I pull away to look her in the eyes.

“Here, come on.” She grabs my hand and starts to pull me down the hallway but I stop her and turn to face the nurse again.

“I’m very sorry for shouting, ma’am. Thank you for everything you do.” I nod at the woman who winks at me with a tired smile, the move reminding me of the man I have fallen in love with. The man I am now rushing through a hospital corridor to go see after he was in an accident.

A car accident.

Just like my parents.

I try to swallow my anxiety as I follow Alex deeper into the hospital.

“Do you know what happened?” I ask her as we quickly pass room after room.

“Not really. Ellie called and told me she had gotten a phone call from a first responder. Someone picked up his wallet and found a note in it with her phone number so they called to tell her where he was going. I had just left the studio after we got done teaching and he was heading home. It must have happened then.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A few hours. He had to have emergency surgery but he’s out now and back in his room.

They’re monitoring him for a million different things I didn’t understand when the doctors told me.

All I know is that he’s reacting poorly to the anesthesia and hasn’t woken up yet.

His breathing is shallow and they said if it doesn’t pick up they’re going to have to put him into a drug induced coma while his lungs heal and get stronger,” she explains frantically.

“How are they telling you anything? You’re not family,” I wonder aloud.

“Ellie lied and told them she’s his sister and yelled at the doctors loud enough over the phone about keeping me updated on him until she got here.

” She laughs over her shoulder at me. We finally come to a stop at the end of the hall.

Finally pausing, I realize how quiet this area of the hospital is.

The hustle and bustle of the emergency room has been replaced by a low hum of concern and careful watching.

Steady beeps and rolling carts can be heard lingering in and out of the various rooms that surround us.

She glances nervously inside the room we’re standing outside of and chews her bottom lip. “You ready?”

I swallow hard. My brain is still trying to catch up on everything she told me but I know I want to see him. Unable to get my mouth to form words, I just nod and watch her head in.

“Henry, it’s me, Alex. I have someone who’s here to see you,” she calls out softly as she steps inside. I hesitate before following her through the threshold but know that if it were me in there, he’d be running to be by my side no matter how scared he was.

I’ll teach you how to be brave.

My stomach lurches as soon as I see him lying in the oversized bed and all the air in my lungs seems to disappear.

Large cuts and gashes are stitched up across his face, a long one stretching from the center of his forehead to his ear.

He has several bandages on his neck and arms while deep purple and yellow bruises are apparent along his jaw and neck.

His nose looks broken and his right leg is propped up and wrapped in a type of soft cast. If it weren’t for all the tubes and wires that are connected to him, he would look like he was simply taking a nap.

His eyes are closed and he’s breathing slowly.

I stare at his chest, watching for each new breath to come and go.

A tube is tucked over his ears and plugged into his nose, feeding him fresh oxygen as he rests.

I force my feet to take a few steps closer to him, reaching out and smoothing his hair down for him, knowing he would hate to be seen with it rumpled and messy.

My hand rests on his cheek and I swallow hard, trying to contain the cries that are begging to be let out.

“Hi, sweets. It’s me, it’s Conrad.” My voice breaks as I speak to his almost lifeless body.

“I-I’m so sorry…” I choke ou t again, bending over at the waist and bringing my forehead to his.

All the secret moments we’ve shared over the last few months flash in my brain like firecrackers, bright and full of energy, just like him.

I wrap my lips around my teeth and bite down hard, trying to numb the pain that comes with the idea of those being the only memories I’ll have with him.

“ Please, please wake up.” My voice is shaky as I whisper to him, not caring that Alex is on the other side of the bed watching me talk to him.

“I can’t lose you too. I need you to wake up, for me, for Annie.

You taught me how to be brave even when I’m scared and I’m ready to be brave now.

I’m ready to say it now. But I need you to wake up so you can hear it.

Please. ” My hands grip the cheap, thin blanket that is draped over his lap when he doesn’t move or respond to my pleas.

His breath slows even more and the monitor on the side of his bed starts to sound the alarms.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” My head whips to Alex who’s already halfway out of the room, calling for help. A team of nurses rushes in, pushing me out of the way so they can get to him.

“Conrad, he’s going to be okay. They’re going to make him better.

Conrad? Are you…” Alex continues to talk but I can’t hear her.

Panic has consumed my body, closing off my senses and making it impossible to hear or process anything else other than the overwhelming sense that I’m going to lose him too.

Just like my parents, just like my grandmother.

I’m going to lose the only other person I’ve ever loved just like I lost them.

The room starts to close in around me and I have to get out before it crushes me completely.

Without even thinking, I run from the room.

My feet carry me back the way we came and in the distance I can hear Alex calling out to me, trying to get me to come back.

But I can’t. I have to get away before my lungs burst and my heart gives out.

I run down the hallway and around the corner, making my way back to the emergency room, heading for my car.

“Conrad? Conrad, where are you going?” I hear a familiar voice call to me as I run from the hospital but I don’t stop to explain.

Reaching my car, I throw open the door and floor it once I’m buckled in.

Without thinking much about it, I go to the one place, to the one person I know I can go to with this.

To the one person I know I can go to when I need to completely fall apart.

And right now, I can feel myself falling apart at the seams, quickly crumbling into a pile of nothingness.