Page 39 of Traitorous Lies (Prey Security: Charlie Team #6)

The problem was, she wasn't sure the damage could be undone.

Of all the things he could have said in fear he’d chosen words he knew would tear her down, and that bothered her. Just because he said he’d never do it again didn't mean that he wouldn't.

How could she take the risk of handing over her trust again when she wasn't sure it wouldn't be abused?

Because Jax is a good guy.

The words whispered through her mind, spoken clearly in Lion’s voice, and she tried to grab onto them and hold them.

“Well, I remember how much fun we had around the fire at night in the forest while we were lost in France,” Jax said, his voice lacking the usual confidence she was used to hearing in it.

“Those moments were fun despite our situation. And I remember you told me you’d always wanted to sit around a fire pit at night and make S'mores and tell ghost stories. So I thought we could build a pit this afternoon and then christen it tonight.”

Another small sliver of her anger fell away. He really had remembered every single thing she’d told him about herself, and he was working so hard to prove that to her.

The thing was it was working. The more he showed her that he’d seen her, heard her, and acknowledged it by doing those things for her, she took another step toward forgiving him .

What happened when she reached that place, Monique wasn't sure yet. Forgiving and putting herself back in a position where she could be hurt were two different things. But for now, at least one of the wounds on her heart healed.

“Okay,” she agreed, letting the blanket she’d tucked around her shoulders fall down.

“Yeah?” Jax raised a hopeful brow like he’s mostly expected her to turn down his offer.

Not that she could blame him, she hadn't wanted to interact with him or his family for the last couple of days. But closing herself off from everyone wasn't making her feel any better, it was making her feel worse. More isolated, more alone, less unsure of her place in the world.

“Yeah,” she repeated, managing to offer up a ghost of a smile, the best she could do under these circumstances.

“Perfect.” His face broke into one of those full-on grins that did crazy things to her hormones.

Once he’d stood, giving her space to put her legs down, she swung them down and pushed to her feet, still holding onto her hedgehog.

“What is that?” Jax asked, eyeing the small object with curiosity as they crossed the porch.

“Lion made it for me.” She held up the object so he could get a better look at it.

“A hedgehog.”

“You told him about Cinderella.”

“I did,” Jax agreed. “Right before he went looking for you earlier when you went out into the woods.”

If Lion had only learned about her pet hedgehog right before he found her sobbing on the stone in that little clearing, that meant he’d managed to carve the wood into this spectacular creation in less time than it would have taken for her to feed her little baby if she were back home.

“Wow,” she murmured, impressed not just by the speed but by how good a job Lion had done. The hedgehog looked more like a photo that had a brown filter applied than it did a carving.

“Those guys are …”

“Different,” she finished for him. “ And special.”

“Both.”

Side by side, they walked down the porch steps and then around the side of the house.

They didn't talk anymore, but she didn't have any other words she wanted to say right now, or anything she wanted to hear.

Maybe the only way she could heal was to allow Jax to keep proving to her with his actions and not just empty words that he didn't mean what he’d said, that he really had seen her.

Around the back of the house, she found everyone hanging around, waiting. All of them were there, Jax’s brothers, their partners, Essie, the Delta Team guys, Jax’s sister. Her sister.

As big a shock as she’d had learning she had a half-sibling, it had to have been a bigger shock for Cassandra learning that her father wasn't actually her father. Yes, her sister had had more time to come to terms with the idea than she had, but still, Monique knew she shouldn’t have shut Cassandra out just because she was angry with Jax.

It was just hard for her to accept that this family wanted her there for any reason other than to try to get a location for her father.

If that was all it was, they didn't need to be out there waiting for her just because Jax was trying to work his way back into her good graces. She’d already told them everything she could think of, and her father was no longer answering her calls, so she had nothing left to offer them.

Yet there they were.

Smiling at her as she approached.

A rush of warmth flooded her system. While she was a long way away from believing these men and women would ever really be her family, she’d gotten a glimpse of what it would be like to call them that, and she liked it. A lot.

“Ready to get started?” Cooper called out.

“Are the Delta Team guys really okay with us digging up part of their yard?” she asked Jax.

“Wouldn't be doing this if they weren't. In fact, I'm pretty sure I got a nod of approval from your self-appointed guard cat.”

That made a surprised laugh burst out. “Guard cat? I’d love to hear you call Lion that to his face.”

Jax gave an exaggerated shudder. “No thanks. Pretty sure his claws would come out and I'd find myself shredded to pieces.” The smile he shot at her slowly morphed into something more serious. “You have people in your corner, Monique. People who see you. Value you. Please try to believe that.”

“I'm trying,” she said, and it was true. It wasn't easy, and it wouldn't happen overnight, but she was trying.

Shutting down and trying to smother her real self wasn't the answer, and she didn't need to find that answer today. Today could just be about having fun.

“I know you are. I am, too.” Jax’s dark eyes bored into her, and she forced herself not to break that connection. To feel what he was trying to show and tell her. To allow herself to believe that even though things felt so hard right now, this would pass, and one day the burden would lighten.

What happened after that she could just wait and see.

“Then let’s go build a fire pit,” she said, heading off again toward the others.

“Here you go,” Connor said, passing her a shovel when she reached them.

“We marked out the spot, and the guys said we need to dig down about three feet,” Willow informed her.

“Three feet? That’s going to be one huge fire pit,” Monique said, taking in the marks on the ground that indicated where they were going to be digging. “Looks like it’s got about a five-foot diameter.”

“Jax said it had to be perfect for you,” Becca told her with a grin that shifted between her and Jax.

“Perfect, huh?” Glancing up at Jax, she saw him watching her with a soft, tender expression. It felt so real, and she wanted to believe it was so badly.

“You deserve only perfection,” he told her as he grabbed a shovel from Jake and together all of them began to dig.

Together. And it felt wonderful not to be alone.