Page 20 of Tracing Holland (The Hold Me NSB #2)

I smile. “Sometimes. And thanks, Holland. Really. Your note meant a lot.” I don’t need to tell her I stuffed it in my pocket and actually have it on me now. That I’ve read it about a hundred times and it still stirs something deep inside that scares the crap out of me.

She shrugs and settles back into her seat. “You’re welcome. I meant it, you know. I keep thinking about what happened, and I understand it all I think. I understand you. I know what you’re doing. Why you push people away.”

I turn back to my amp. It’s a lot safer than the look on her face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You think you’re protecting us or something. From yourself.”

It takes everything in me not to react. “If that’s really true, I’d highly recommend letting me do that,” I say quietly, desperately hoping this amp can counteract the effect of her presence. I’m not optimistic.

“I saw you with Jesse, too. You two looked intense, so I’m guessing you were talking him through something.”

“I’m not surprised since you stalk me, apparently.”

She laughs, and I offer a quick smile before turning away again.

“I’m just saying, you really suck at being a dick. I mean, like really bad.”

I laugh again, resting my forehead on the amp for a second before glancing back at her. “Yeah? Well, I used to be a lot better at it.”

“So I’ve heard. Research and all that.”

I shrug. She grows serious and studies me.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened at the pool.

I get it, I do. And I agree, we shouldn’t have hooked up, even if you could have been a big boy in how you communicated your feelings instead of acting like a total ass.

But I don’t buy your final stance for one second.

I do think we can be friends. In fact, I think we have to be in order to finish this tour, and I want to make it work.

Can we do that? I promise, no sex until you’re ready, darling. ”

“Oh my god,” I laugh, amused, warmed, challenged, all at once. This woman... I shake my head. She’s freaking amazing. There’s no other explanation. “Of course. I’m sorry, too. Whether I was an effective dick or not, I shouldn’t have tried, and I’m sorry. We’ll make the friend thing work.”

She slaps her knees before rising. “Ok, good. Oh, and one more thing. I want to steal some of that new bridge we did for ‘Perfect Storm,’ if you don’t mind. Those incidentals you threw in and the extra couple lines after the verse were sick.”

I grin. “Sure. But only if you let me come out for a cameo when you do it.”

Her eyes widen, and I love that I’m finally able to shock her in a good way. “Wait, what? Are you serious?”

I shrug. “Yeah, I’d love to do ‘Perfect Storm’ with you on stage.”

“No freaking way!”

I can’t help but laugh. “Well, I mean, they’re my incidentals so you owe me…”

“I owe you ? Are you kidding me? Thank you! Luke…thank you!”

I can tell she’s about to hug me, but thinks better of it. I’m glad because I’m not ready for that fight again either.

“How about tonight?” I suggest.

“Wait, tonight?”

I shrug. “Sure. Let’s run it during your sound check.”

She looks ready to explode with excitement and I wish I could capture everything about that moment.

It’s an amazing feeling. We’re both happy at the same time.

Who would have thought? Two separate conversations today, two different people, three grinning faces at the end.

My vortex may cause pain, but maybe it can also do something else.

I have no idea what to do with that thought.

“Just text me when you’re ready,” I say. “I’m gonna go grab a bite before they shut down catering. Kenneth will flip if I miss it.”

Tracing Holland launches into the intro for “Perfect Storm,” and the crowd absolutely explodes when I step out on stage. Holland and I exchange a grin before she makes a dramatic show of turning the lead mic over to me, complete with a playful bow.

I accept it with one of my own as she moves to another vocal mic without even missing a note on her guitar.

We had decided that I wouldn’t play along at tonight’s show, although we want to do an acoustic version at a later date with both of us playing and singing.

For now, I use all my energy and star-power to boost Tracing Holland into the stratosphere.

I know this collaboration is going to be talked about, and love that I can use my influence for her benefit.

We brought the key down so I could sing lead, and Holland’s voice once again captivates me with its wicked tone and razor-sharp harmonies.

It’s like we’ve been singing together for years, and I’m even able to ignore the tangible tension with Wes who’s forced to stand behind me.

I know he’s despising every minute of this, every echo of the crowd’s adulation for a duet that should not be happening.

He didn’t say a word during the sound check, and I was certain Holland must have warned him ahead of time, only because he didn’t punch me in the face when I showed up.

Even now, I’d expected the rush of the stage, or at the very least, a microscopic level of professionalism to mask his hatred, but no such luck.

I make a point not to turn around again after one glimpse of his harsh glare four measures into the song.

“Luke Craven, everyone!” Holland cries into the mic as the final notes ring out to a symphony of wild cheering.

I give Holland a quick hug before waving to the crowd and offering a slight bow.

Then, I return the stage to her and try to think of a moment when I’ve ever felt better about being Luke Craven.

My joy doesn’t last long. Casey and I come down off our high from the night’s performance with an abrupt bombshell about Callie. She’s not waiting for us backstage like usual, and I glance over at Casey who’s scanning his phone with a dark expression.

“Shit!” he mutters.

“What is it? Where’s Callie?” I ask, my heart slamming against my chest.

“On the bus,” Casey answers, still glaring at his phone. I can see the fire in his eyes, sense the heat radiating from him. There’s only one thing that makes him burn with that kind of fury: righteous anger. Injury to those he loves. I draw in a deep breath.

“What happened?”

The phone is now at his ear, and he holds up a finger to silence me for a second as he begins talking.

“Hey, Cal. Yeah, I got your messages. I saw. I know. I know, babe, I do. We just finished up. I’ll be right there. It’s gonna be ok. I know. Love you. I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up and meets my gaze.

“They dug up that damn grocery store story,” Casey hisses. “You know, the lawsuit against her douchebag boss? It’s all over the place…Dammit!”

“Oh shit,” I reply, my stomach dropping. “How’s she taking it?”

Casey shakes his head. “She’s really upset. I saw some of the stuff they’re saying. It’s brutal, Luke,” he whispers, looking back at me. “She doesn’t deserve this bullshit.” He runs his hand over his face. “Dammit, this is all my fault! They’re only going after her because she’s with me.”

“Whoa, hang on,” I interrupt. “Don’t even start with that, Case.

Do you honestly think Callie would change anything that’s happened?

That she’d trade you for a little privacy?

Please. That girl loves you with all her heart, and you love her.

This is nothing compared to the power of what you two have.

We knew this would happen eventually. It always does.

She knew the risks. Remember the chair mess? ”

He curses again, and I know right then I’d do anything to fix this for them.

“No, I know,” he says quietly, resignation clear in his voice. “I just hate this. It rips my heart out to see her hurt. Especially since you know this is only because she’s dating me.”

“Yeah, and because she’s dating you, she has an amazing boyfriend she loves, a career, and a life most people would kill for.” I place my hand on his shoulder and we exchange a solid glance. “Go be with her. Let me worry about the rest.”

“What do you mean? What are you going to do?”

I suck in my breath. “I don’t know yet, but don’t worry about it. You worry about her right now, ok?”

“Luke, what are you going to do?”

I can’t look at him. “Nothing. There’s still a few hours before we roll out. I’m just gonna go think for a second.”

I sense he’s still concerned, but lets it go. He’s more worried about Callie, as I want him to be.

“Come back with me. I’m sure Callie would love your support right now, too.”

I force a smile. “I’ll be there. She needs you first, though. Go be with her. I’ll follow in a minute.”

My heart breaks even more when I board the bus.

I can hear her crying in the back lounge where she’s locked herself with Casey.

My “thinking” turned out to be less fruitful than I’d hoped, but I’m still not ready to give up.

I’m not exactly sure how to fight this, and hope something will come to me when I see her.

I notice Eli and Sweeny are already in their bunks, no doubt respecting Callie’s privacy by pretending to sleep. My stakes are higher, however, and I’m not about to give her space right now. Not when she saved my life by butting into my nightmare.

I knock on the partition and the quiet murmuring stops. “It’s Luke. Can I come in?”

I wait for a moment, wondering if they’ll accept my role, and I’m relieved when the partition opens. I’m devastated at the look on Callie’s face, her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks just tearing at my soul.

I close the partition again and lower myself to her other side on the couch.

“Casey told you,” she whispers.

I nod. “He did.”

I don’t ask if she’s ok. I know she’s not. I always hated that question.

“Luke, it’s bad,” she whispers, staring at me, completely haunted.

“They’re saying we did it for the money.

They’re making him look like the victim!

It’s happening all over again!” She presses her palms against her eyes, and Casey wraps his arms around her.

“This is why I left Shelteron in the first place!”

Casey and I exchange a glance over her shoulder, and I can feel the rage building.

Casey isn’t wired for rage like I am. He’s built to be a pillar.

I’m a freaking landmine, and I know there’s no way we’re leaving Charlotte before it explodes.

I watch them in silence for a bit, my insides shredding at Callie’s pain, but I have no idea what to say.

I would do anything to make it stop, which only fuels the wrath at how helpless I feel.

I’m not good at the talking part. I act, usually rashly, and in a way that gets me in trouble.

But, I just can’t take it anymore. The sound of her tears is destroying me. I have no choice.

“Let me make some calls,” I say, rising from the couch.

“What? What are you going to do?” Casey asks, glancing at me in surprise.

I suck in my breath. “I don’t know. I’ll be back later.”

“Luke, what are you going to do? Where are you going?”

I can’t look at him, at either of them, as I move from the room. “Nothing. Stop worrying. Just gonna get some air and make a few calls,” I lie.

I sense he knows I’m lying, but I will die before letting him bear the burden of what I’m about to do.

“I love you, Callie,” I say gently.

She glances up and melts my heart with a weak smile through her tears.

“I love you, too, Luke. Thank you.”

I swallow and try not to choke as I close the partition.