Page 2 of Tracing Holland (The Hold Me NSB #2)
The Encore: Part I
It’s deafening. I close my eyes and listen, absorb. I know I should be reviewing what’s next, but my heart is pounding too fast, the blood searing through my body and blocking all coherent thoughts in my head.
“That’s for you, man.” Casey’s voice is barely audible over the roar, and I cast a quick glance in his direction. Casey. Callie. The reasons I’m standing here. The reasons I’m alive. The reasons I’m once again Luke Craven, frontman for Night Shifts Black.
I still don’t believe I deserve this second chance, but I’ve accepted it. Those two stubborn beacons of light didn’t really give me a choice. It’s a gift, or as Callie calls it, a miracle, and I’m not screwing it up this time around. I’m not.
“So are we doing this or what?” Sweeny yells over the chanting. “I mean, I could listen to forty-thousand people scream Luke’s name all day, but I wouldn’t mind hitting Saxon before the bar closes.”
Casey rolls his eyes and smacks him. “Relax, bro. We’ll go back out. Just give him a second. What are you guys thinking? Do the full three-song set for the encore? It’s our first comeback show. I think we can do three.”
“Three’s good,” Sweeny says. “Open or close with ‘Greetings’?”
“Close,” I whisper to myself. I face my band, my friends. “Definitely close.”
There’s a sudden pressure on my arm, and I turn to meet a pair of sweet, hazel eyes that somehow manage to cut into me every time.
“You’ve got this, Luke,” Callie says with a smile. God, I love her smile. Love the way she makes me believe there’s good in the world. There’s good in me somewhere. “You ready?”
I draw in a deep breath and stare back at the entrance to the stage.
That’s the question, isn’t it? Am I ready?
Ready for what? The crowd? The music? Or ready for life.
Ready to face the reality that what I was will attack the very fabric of who I am now.
I’m not na?ve. I knew the second I agreed to come back that I was signing up for one hell of a ride.
I’m a different person now, but no one knows that.
No one knows I’m not a monster anymore. Well, no one except the two most important people in my life, which is why there’s a remote chance on God’s green earth I can actually do this.
I might actually pull off a comeback, not just for my career, but for my life.
Am I ready? No. But I’m ok with that now. I’m ok, because for the first time since I can remember, I’m not afraid of myself. I’m not afraid of tomorrow. I’m not afraid to live.