Page 31 of Toxic Salvation (Krayev Bratva #2)

VESPER

“If you don’t let me go right now, I will bite you!”

Waylen flings me into Mom’s room and shuts the door behind us. “Go ahead, I can take it. Won’t be the first time you’ve bitten me.”

“That was, like, two decades ago!”

“And clearly, the instinct still lingers.” He grins at me. “Piranha.”

I glance nervously at Mom. She’s sitting up in bed, looking better than she did two days ago when I last visited. We’d spent thirty minutes looking in different directions, making polite small talk about the weather and hospital food until I finally made an excuse and left.

I felt bad about it.

Just not bad enough to come back voluntarily.

“This has gone on long enough,” Waylen declares, crossing his arms. “Time we sat down and worked this out. All three of us.”

“Waylen, honey,” Mom murmurs, adjusting her blankets. “I’m a little tired.”

“You weren’t tired this morning when Kovan came to visit, were you?” He raises an eyebrow. “I heard you in here, giggling like a schoolgirl.”

“Waylen!” Mom gasps.

I burst into laughter, but that just turns his attention on me. “And you—you’re a grown adult who’s going to be a mother soon. I’d think you could find a little forgiveness for your own mother.”

My jaw drops. Talk about being called out.

The accusation stuns me into silence. I turn to Mom to gauge her reaction. She looks equally shocked, and it’s actually given her cheeks some color.

“We’re family!” Waylen continues, pacing to the window. “We have to be able to talk to each other. Even when it’s hard.”

I shuffle closer to Mom’s bedside, biting my lip. “He has a point.”

Mom sighs deeply. “I’m not the one who’s been avoiding you, honey.”

I perch on the edge of her bed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have avoided you. Especially since we’re living in the same house. It’s just… It’s not easy for me to talk to you about this.”

“Your father was always the one you preferred talking to. He was my go-to, also.” She smooths her blanket with shaky fingers. “But maybe we can be more honest with each other than he ever was with us?”

“Yeah.” I exhale. “Maybe you’re right.”

“You want to go first?”

I glance at Waylen, who gives me an encouraging nod. I swallow hard and decide to just say it.

“I’m mad at you, Mom,” I begin. “I feel terrible about that because you’re sick and I should be able to let this go, but I am mad and I can’t pretend anymore.”

Mom doesn’t look shocked. She doesn’t even look hurt. “I can understand that.”

“You can?”

“You’re mad because I didn’t force your father to change. To stop what he was doing and try to be a better man, a better doctor. Am I close?”

I chew my lip harder. “That’s part of it.”

“Would it help you to know that I tried?”

I hold my breath. “Did you?”

“We had a huge fight about it when I first found out.” Mom’s fingers worry the edge of her blanket.

“Waylen had already moved out for college and you were still in high school. I remember exactly when it happened because it was right after your seventeenth birthday. There was still leftover cake in the fridge.”

Waylen moves to the other side of Mom’s bed. From his expression, this is news to him, too.

“A man came to visit your father at home that morning, right after you’d left for school.

Scary-looking guy with these piercing eyes.

He was very polite, but there was something about him that made my skin crawl.

I was bringing them coffee when I overheard part of their conversation.

It shook me to my core. So when he left, I confronted Thomas. ”

“Did Dad deny it?” Waylen asks.

“He tried to at first. Then he finally broke down and admitted I was right. That he was involved in something bad. I didn’t know the details, but I knew enough to understand that what he was doing was completely unethical.

Criminal. I asked him to stop, and he told me he was in too deep.

” Mom’s eyes fill with tears. “So I kicked him out.”

“What?” I gasp. “I don’t remember that.”

“Because you thought he was going to an emergency medical conference in Cincinnati.” Mom’s hands tremble slightly. “He packed a bag and left. That evening, he sent me a five-page email with instructions about his will, his assets, where the money was kept, and what to do if he ever went missing.”

Waylen and I exchange a look. I hate that I’m wondering if that email was actual concern on Dad’s part, or just manipulation.

“That email scared the life out of me.” Mom’s voice wavers.

“I spent that entire weekend sick with indecision. But by Monday, I realized I’d rather keep my husband, flaws and all, than live without him.

So I called him and told him to come home.

He promised me he would try to find a safe way out of the ring, and I took him at his word. ”

“He continued working for the ring for years after that, Mom,” I point out.

“He was terrified. For his life, for ours. So he did what he did to protect us.” She holds up a hand when Waylen starts to interrupt. “I made sure we never spent a dime of the money he earned from the ring. That money went into separate accounts, and we donated it to charities throughout the year.”

Waylen rubs his temples. “That doesn’t make up for what he did, Mom.”

“I know that, honey.” Frustration creeps into her voice. “But it was the best we could do at the time. When your father was diagnosed, he and I both knew it was the easiest way out of the ring. And I suppose it was divine retribution for what he’d done.”

“It made no sense to me.” I can’t help boiling up with old frustration. “You loved him so much, but you weren’t willing to push him to fight for his life. It felt like you’d given up on him.”

“I just had more information than you did at the time.”

“How did you feel when he died?” I ask, then immediately wonder if there’s a better way to phrase that question.

“Lost. Hopeless. Scared. But mostly… relieved.” Mom closes her eyes.

“Then guilty because I felt relieved. Then sad. Then lost all over again. The cycle never stopped. I knew you kids thought I couldn’t function without him.

That I was still mourning him after all that time.

But the truth was, I just didn’t know how to process those last few years. Everything was so confusing.”

“You didn’t want Vesper to do her residency at St. Raphael’s,” Waylen murmurs.

More puzzle pieces are falling into place for him. For me, too.

“I wasn’t sure what exactly was happening in that hospital, but I knew it wasn’t good.” Mom sighs heavily. “But you were so determined…”

“I accused you of wanting me to forget about Dad.” I feel terrible regret wash over me. “Oh, Mom?—”

“It’s okay, honey. I wasn’t giving you good reasons for avoiding that hospital. I understand why you were angry.”

“You could have told me the truth.”

Mom stares at me. “Would you have believed me?”

“Maybe not at first,” I admit. “But eventually…”

“Our relationship had already suffered, Vesper. I didn’t want to make it worse. And honestly, the main reason I didn’t tell you was because I wanted to preserve the memory you had of your father. I didn’t want you to hate him.”

I shake my head slowly. “I don’t know what I feel about him anymore. One thing I do know: I didn’t really know him. Not the way I thought I did.”

“You know what I learned through all this?”

Waylen and I both turn to her expectantly, hoping she might have some insight that could help us navigate this mess.

“I learned that the same person can be different things to different people. Yes, Thomas Fairfax was the villain in many people’s stories. But he was also a good husband in mine. He was a devoted father in yours. He loved me, and he loved you kids. He wasn’t all bad, all the time.”

It’s not the profound wisdom I was hoping for, but it rings true. I squeeze Mom’s hand. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I never thanked you,” she says, blinking back tears. “For risking your job to save me.”

“You didn’t want to be saved, though.” I hang my head. “I was being selfish. I was?—”

“Trying to make up for the fact that you couldn’t save your father?” Mom finishes gently. “It’s okay, darling. I understand why you did what you did.”

“It wasn’t what you wanted, though.”

“At the time, it wasn’t,” she admits. “But now, I see you and your brother, I see your belly getting bigger every day, I see you and Kovan and Luka together, and I can’t bear to miss it. For the first time in a long time, I can’t wait to see what comes next.”

“Yeah?” I whisper through my tears.

“Yeah.” Mom nods and reaches for Waylen’s hand with her free one. “It would be a shame for me to leave when the three of us are just learning how to talk to each other.”

“You’re right. That would be a shame,” Waylen agrees, taking her hand. “Does this mean we’re done being mad at each other?”

“I am,” Mom says firmly. “I want to enjoy whatever time I have left. I want to spend it with my kids and my grandkids. I want to watch my family grow while I’m still here to see it.”

“That sounds like a really good plan, Mom.” I let out a long, relieved breath. “Sounds like a good plan for all of us.”

The three of us sit there for a while, hands linked, finally feeling like a family again. Not the perfect family we once pretended to be, but the broken, flawed, imperfect version we actually are.

For the first time in a long time, that feels like enough.