Page 19 of Toxic Salvation (Krayev Bratva #2)

VESPER

It’s a good thing I chose to become a doctor, because this much is certain: I’m not cut out for being a spy.

I’m the shittiest spy there ever was. I jump at loud noises. I make far too much noise myself. And I’ve been caught twice now, trying to get inside Kovan’s office.

The first time was by the maid, who was easy to convince with some lame excuse about looking for Kovan. But the second time was by Pavel, who stared at me with those dark, knowing eyes that made it crystal clear he wasn’t buying what I was selling.

Which in this case would be my dignity.

I’m still loitering by the staircase, taking pathetic little peeks at Kovan’s door when Pavel emerges from the kitchen. “Vesper, what are you still doing here?”

I flinch but try to pretend he didn’t just catch me red-handed. Again. “Nothing, okay? I just wanted to talk to Kovan about something.”

“I told you already, he’s not going to be here ‘til tonight.” Pavel crosses his arms, and suddenly, I understand why people are intimidated by the Krayev brothers. Even the youngest one has this way of making you feel like you’re being interrogated. “What’s so important that you need him now?”

My brain scrambles for a believable lie. “Erm… I have needs, okay?”

Pavel stops dead. His cheeks actually turn pink. “Oh… okay. Ah-hem… hormones. I get it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” I call after him as he practically sprints away from me.

Fantastic. I’m officially turning into a basket case. The timing couldn’t be better—I’m going to be a mother in a few months, so naturally, I have to pick now to lose my mind completely.

Before I can spiral further into self-loathing, my phone starts ringing. I glance at the screen and see Charity’s name. Guilt immediately slugs me in the gut.

“Hello?”

“Vesper Fairfax, if you don’t give me a good explanation right freaking now about where you’ve been and how you’ve been, I’m going to… do something… bad.”

Despite everything, I almost smile. “Really? That’s the best threat you’ve got?”

“I didn’t expect you to answer,” she grumbles. “You didn’t answer my last three calls. Or my texts. Or the carrier pigeon I sent.”

“I know; I’m sorry. That was unforgivable of me. There’s just a lot going on right now.”

“With Annabelle?” Her tone immediately shifts to concern. “Is she okay? I thought the fact that they discharged her from the hospital was a good sign. I brought over some pastries for her yesterday, but the house looked all closed up.”

That’s when I realize just how much I’ve shut out my best friend. And how awful she must feel about being excluded.

“We haven’t caught up in a while, have we? There’s a lot I have to tell you.”

“Good. Because that’s the only way I’m going to forgive you for dropping off the face of the earth without explanation. I want details and I want them face to face. Meet me for lunch at Giovanni’s today.”

“Whoa, hold on, Char. I’m not sure I can make it?—”

“Is your mother currently stable?”

“Yes, but?—”

“Then you’re coming. Unless you’re telling me our friendship is over?”

I whistle long and low. “You sure know how to guilt trip a girl.”

“I learned from the best. My grandmother would be proud. Don’t be jealous—I can teach you the technique. If you show up for lunch, of course.”

“So many conditions.”

“You have only yourself to blame.”

I glance upstairs toward the bedrooms, then toward the kitchen where Pavel disappeared. Getting past Kovan’s self-appointed security detail won’t be easy, but I need this. I need to talk to someone who isn’t a Krayev brother or my dying mother.

“Fine. I’ll be there. No matter what I have to do to get there.”

“That’s the spirit! And Vesper? Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out together. That’s what best friends do.”

After she hangs up, I stare at my phone for a long moment.

Charity has no idea what she’s promising to help me figure out.

How do you tell your best friend that the father of your unborn child might be a criminal mastermind?

That your dead father was apparently a monster?

That you’ve turned into the kind of person who falsifies medical records and hacks into hospital databases?

I shove the phone into my pocket and head for the front door. I’ll deal with everything else when I get back.

“What the hell are you doing at this table?” Charity demands the moment she spots me tucked away in the corner booth. “We’re basically seated in the bathroom. I can literally hear every flush.”

“Hello to you, too.” I stand to give her a hug, and she squeezes me so tight I can barely breathe.

She pulls back but keeps her hands on my shoulders, studying my face with the intensity of a detective. “But for real, though, do you want to eat here when we’re going to be serenaded by bathroom acoustics?”

As if on cue, we hear the distant sound of a toilet flushing. Charity arches one eyebrow at me. “See? Number one or number two? Place your bets.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” I gesture for her to sit. “I don’t want to be overheard.”

Immediately, her expression changes from annoyance to alarm. “Oh, boy. This sounds serious. Should we wait for breadsticks or are you about to drop a bomb on me?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Charity’s jaw literally drops. “Okay, fuck the breadsticks. Are you serious right now?”

I nod, suddenly nervous. “Guilty as charged. I’m going on four months, actually.” She grabs my arm, her nails digging in so hard I yelp. “Ow! Easy there, tiger.”

“Sorry, sorry.” She lets go of me but doesn’t stop staring. “I just wasn’t expecting that. Four months? Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“Because I didn’t find out until a month ago. With everything that happened between Kovan and me, and then Mom being hospitalized, I didn’t even realize I’d missed my period.”

“Several of them, apparently.”

I sigh. “I know it’s insane. I’m still processing it myself.”

“Kovan’s the father, I’m assuming?”

“Mhmm. That’s where I’ve been the past few weeks. I’m living with him again. Actually, the whole family is. Waylen and Mom moved in right after I did.”

Charity blinks slowly. “Um… might I ask why?”

“Because Waylen wants to keep an eye on Kovan, and because Kovan knew I’d never agree to move back in with him unless Mom came, too.”

“And he’s okay with all this? You and Waylen and Annabelle, all living in his house like some weird Brady Bunch situation?”

“Honestly? He’s been incredible with Mom.

” I can’t keep the admiration out of my voice.

“He gave her the best room in the house. He hired a specialist nurse who has the room right next to Mom’s.

He gets her the best medications and treatments from the best hospitals in the state.

He cooks her favorite foods and visits her several times a week.

I have no idea what they talk about because the door is always closed, but apparently, Kovan puts on a comedy routine just for her, judging by how hard she laughs. ”

By the time I stop talking, Charity is staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.

I feel my cheeks flush. “Sorry… Did that sound bitter? I swear I’m not jealous.

” But even as I say it, I know it’s a lie.

“Okay, fine. Maybe I’m a little jealous.

She barely talks to me like that. Our conversations last ten minutes and usually end with Mom telling me she’s tired.

But with Kovan, she can talk for hours.”

Charity’s lips curve into a knowing smile. “You are so jealous.”

“Shut up,” I mutter, scanning the restaurant for our waitress. “Where are those dang breadsticks?”

Once we have our drinks and a basket of warm bread between us, Charity cuts straight to the chase. “I’m guessing Kovan is happy about the baby?”

“I don’t know if ‘happy’ is the right word.” I tear off a piece of bread and immediately put it down again. My appetite has been nonexistent lately. “But he’s old school that way. He knows it’s his baby and he’s going to step up. He wants to provide for us. Protect us. He’s made that very clear.”

“Which sounds pretty great,” Charity points out. “So why don’t you sound happier about it?”

“Because…” I glance around the restaurant.

There’s a woman sitting alone at a table across from us, and something about the way she keeps glancing over makes me paranoid.

At the bar, a man with a neck tattoo has been nursing the same beer since I arrived, and he’s checked his phone probably a hundred times in the last twenty minutes. “I’m not sure I should tell you.”

“But you want to?”

“I need to talk to someone. I can’t tell Waylen or Mom.”

“And you have no other friends besides me,” Charity infers with her usual dose of tact. She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Just tell me, V. Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t. But maybe you can help me figure out what to do.”

I make a split-second decision. I lean closer and lower my voice to barely above a whisper.

Charity mirrors my posture, and I tell her everything.

About Kovan’s family business. About my father’s involvement in the organ trafficking ring.

About my desperate need to know if the man I love is a sinner or a savior.

When I finish, my throat is bone dry and our drinks are long empty.

“Okaaay.” Charity sits back slowly. “Let me get this straight. Your knight in shining armor turns out to be potentially running a black market organ trafficking ring that he claims he’s shutting down? The same organ trafficking ring that your father was part of?”

“Correct.”

She mimes her head exploding. “Vesper… what the actual fuck?”

“Give me more than that, Char.”

“I can’t right now. My brain is too busy short-circuiting.”

“Look, he might not be running anything. His father started this horrifying business and recruited my dad. According to Kovan, he and his brothers have always been against it. But apparently, it takes time to dismantle something that evil and entrenched.”

Charity holds my gaze. “Do you believe him?”

“That’s the problem!” I slap my hand on the table, then immediately look around to make sure I didn’t draw attention.

“I’m in love with him. I can’t trust my own judgment.

If I say I believe him, is it because it’s true or because I’m seeing what I want to see?

And if I decide I don’t believe him…” I trail off, unable to finish the thought.

“Then what?”

“Then I have to leave. I can’t stay with someone who profits from murder. I can’t raise my child with a man like that.”

“Leave?” Charity looks shocked. “To go where? Your whole life is here.”

“I’ll stay until the baby is born, obviously. I’ll stay as long as Mom needs me. But after that, I don’t know.” I shrug helplessly. “Waylen can manage on his own.”

“Running away isn’t the answer, Vesper.”

“How can I let my child be raised by a man who thinks it’s acceptable to steal organs from dying patients?”

She falls silent, processing this. “Fuck. You have a point.”

“I need proof, Char.” The desperation in my own voice surprises me. “I need hard evidence that Kovan is really shutting down the Keres operation. If I have that, I can believe him.”

“How are you planning to find this evidence?”

“I don’t know yet. But I’m sure as hell not going to find it by playing by the rules.”

Charity gives me a skeptical look. “V, honey, I love you, but you’re a play-by-the-rules kind of girl. We both know that.”

“I thought so, too,” I admit quietly. “And then my mother got sick.”

“What are you saying?”

I hesitate, but we’ve come this far, so there’s no turning back now. Time to lay all my sins out there. “Remember when I told you that the experimental clinical trial revised their criteria and Mom suddenly qualified?”

“Yes…”

“I lied.” I let my head hang low. “I told you that just so you wouldn’t judge me for what I actually did.”

“Oh my God, V. What did you do?”

“I tampered with her medical records. I falsified documents so she would meet the trial criteria.”

“Vesper!” Charity recoils. “Those clinical trials have strict FDA oversight. If anyone finds out?—”

“The hospital is screwed. The doctors are screwed. And I’m screwed.

” I nod grimly. “Yeah. I knew exactly what the consequences could be. Just like I knew what I was doing when I hacked into the hospital database and changed another patient’s stats so they’d be dropped from the trial to make room for Mom. ”

Charity stares at me in stunned silence, her hand covering her mouth.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I continue, blinking back tears. “You’re thinking I’m a horrible person and that Kovan and I deserve each other.”

For a long moment, she doesn’t say anything.

Then she reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers.

“Actually, what I was thinking was that you must really love your mother.” She takes a shaky breath.

“And it’s not the same thing, V. What you did was to save your mother’s life.

What he potentially did—if he really did it—was for money and power. It’s different.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“But babe, you’re in way over your head right now. You’re making moral compromises left and right, and that’s just not you. Maybe you should take a step back and think about this rationally?”

“I can’t! I have to know if the father of my child is leading this operation or trying to stop it.”

“And if he’s trying to stop it?”

My chest tightens as I meet her eyes. “Then maybe there’s hope for us yet.”

“And if he’s not?”

I don’t answer, but we both know what that means. If Kovan is lying to me, if he’s the monster I’m terrified he might be, then I’ll have to walk away from the only man I’ve ever loved.

Even if it destroys me.