Page 33 of Tough Guy (Game Changers #3)

It was cowardly of him, but Fabian needed to erase the images of Ryan fighting from his brain. He needed to replace them with Ryan’s kisses and sighs, and the reverent way Ryan touched him.

“Fabian—” Ryan’s protest was cut off when Fabian kissed him.

It only took a moment before Ryan was kissing him back, and then Fabian was unbuckling Ryan’s belt.

Ryan sucked in a breath, and suddenly Fabian was being lifted off the floor as Ryan stood, still holding him.

Ryan set him gently on the bed, and Fabian scooted back until he was lying against the pillows, grinning up at Ryan as he covered him.

Ryan still looked apprehensive, so Fabian helped by removing his own shirt.

“Are you sure you’re—?”

Fabian slid his hands up the sides of Ryan’s broad torso, pushing his T-shirt up. “The only thing that’s wrong with me is that you’re not kissing me.”

It was almost the truth; Fabian was feeling remarkably better now that he had Ryan’s huge body pressed against him.

And then Ryan fixed the remaining problem by kissing him exactly the way Fabian wanted to be kissed—slow and adoring.

Fabian sighed happily as the tension left his body, replaced by the wonderful feelings of comfort and affection that always warmed him when he was with Ryan.

They made out for a long time, trading soft kisses on each other’s cheeks and necks and sharing deep, tender kisses when their mouths found their way back together. It didn’t feel like foreplay; instead of becoming aroused, Fabian felt loose and gooey with bliss.

He rolled Ryan onto his back and snuggled against him, resting his head on Ryan’s solid chest. Ryan wrapped an arm around him, and Fabian couldn’t remember ever feeling so safe and comfortable.

“Do anything fun today?” Ryan asked.

“I wrote a new song.” Fabian bit his lip, trying to decide how much to reveal. “It’s a bit...sappier than my usual style.”

“Oh?”

“Something inspired me to write a love song. Can’t imagine what.”

For a long moment, Ryan was silent. Fabian raised his head and bravely glanced at his face. Ryan was smiling at the ceiling.

“I don’t think I’ve ever inspired anyone to do anything before.”

“I didn’t say it was you,” Fabian teased. Ryan’s smile faded. “Oh my god! Of course it’s you!” Fabian climbed on top of him, sprawled out on his stomach with his chin propped on his folded hands. “I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m quite fond of you, Ryan Price.”

Ryan shook his head. His face was pure wonder. “I used to listen to you practice. I’d be in my room in the basement, and when I heard your violin I would just lay on my bed and listen.”

Fabian’s heart fluttered. “Did you?”

“Yeah. All the time. It...helped.”

“Helped?”

Ryan sighed. “That wasn’t a great year for me. I was away from home for the first time—and Ross Harbour has less than two thousand people, so even being in a city was an adjustment—and your family was really nice, but it was still, y’know, not my home.”

Fabian had never really considered things from the hockey player’s view when he’d been forced to cohabit with them.

As far as he’d been concerned at the time, the world had been their fucking oyster, and they probably saw it as their right as an elite hockey player to take over someone’s home.

“That must have been stressful for you.”

“It was. I was at a new school, trying to graduate while also playing hockey and dealing with...stuff.”

Ugh. Fabian was an asshole for ever assuming that he had been the only person suffering in that house. “Hockey stuff, or...?”

“I was trying to fit into my new team, and having a hard time. Plus I was suddenly playing in front of ten thousand people instead of, like, fifty.”

“Yikes. Yeah.”

Ryan began absently stroking Fabian’s hair. “Plus there was the being gay thing. That was a whole other problem.”

Right. Fabian obviously hadn’t known at the time that Ryan had been dealing with that, but now that he knew... “Jesus. That must have sucked.”

“It was a lot to hide at once. The fact that I was attracted to men, that I was scared, that I was homesick, that I...hated fighting. And some of my teammates.” His lips twitched up a bit. “Didn’t help that I also had to hide the crush I had on you.”

God, why wasn’t time travel real? Fabian wanted nothing more than to go back thirteen and a half years, walk into Ryan’s bedroom, and tell him how much he liked him.

To lie on his bed beside him and hold his hand.

Or maybe tell his younger self to do that.

That would make more sense. Time travel was confusing.

He took Ryan’s hand now, first rolling off the man to lie beside him. “I wish you hadn’t,” he said. “Hidden your crush, I mean. We could have had a lot of fun in that basement.”

Ryan huffed. “I think I would have been pretty awkward. More awkward than I am now, if you can imagine.”

“Do you really think I would have been a skilled and adventurous lover at seventeen?”

Ryan turned his head and smiled at him. “Probably. It wouldn’t have surprised me.”

Fabian laughed, and then kissed him. He decided, right then, to forget about the video he’d watched.

It didn’t matter. Ryan had said he was going to stop fighting, so why even think about it anymore?

The man in the video didn’t matter. The man who bought Fabian flowers and used to secretly pine for him while he listened to his violin practice; that was the man who was here now. That was the man who mattered.

“What would you have done?” Fabian asked. “If I had gone down to your room and come on to you?”

“I probably wouldn’t have even known that’s what you were doing. I would never have let myself believe it.”

Fabian traced a finger around Ryan’s belly button and up to his chest. “But if I made it very obvious, let’s say.”

“Like what?”

“Well...” Fabian was suddenly giddy imagining the scenario. “What if I’d closed the door behind me and...taken off my shirt?”

“Oh geez. I definitely would have thought I was dreaming.”

“What if I’d told you I couldn’t live another day without telling you how much I wanted you? How badly I needed to touch you?”

Ryan seemed to be seriously considering his answer. “I still wouldn’t have believed you.”

“Let’s skip ahead to the part where you believe me.”

He blew out a breath. “Okay. I guess I would have...kissed you?”

“Would you have?”

He shook his head. “No. I would have waited for you to kiss me.”

“And when I did?”

“I would have liked it?”

Fabian pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. He would put role-playing on the list of things to work on with Ryan.

When the urge to laugh had passed, he kissed Ryan and said, “I would have liked it too.”

“Are we still going on this date, or should we just stay in?”

Fabian got to his feet and went to the closet. “Oh, we are going out. I am going to romance the hell out of you, Ryan Price.”