Page 31 of Tough Guy (Game Changers #3)

“Hey. Duncan.”

Duncan Harvey glanced up at Ryan from where he was stretching on the ice near the center line. Ryan wasn’t technically supposed to be talking to his opponents during warm-ups, but he was hoping he could maybe stop a pointless fight before it happened.

Duncan spat on the ice and said, “What?”

Ryan bent at the waist so he was closer to the other man’s face. Duncan had noticeable bags under his eyes. “I just wanted to say, we don’t have to fight tonight.”

Duncan shifted so he was up on one knee. “The fuck are you talking about?”

Their faces were inches apart, and Ryan was sure it was getting the attention of the crowd, so he backed off a bit. “Just saying. We don’t have to.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Yes, Ryan would like that. That was sort of his point. But he skated away without replying.

“How’s your buddy Duncan?” Wyatt asked when Ryan got down on the ice next to him to stretch. “Does he like your new haircut?”

“I think he wants to fight.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like him.”

Ryan grunted as he deepened his hamstring stretch. “He doesn’t look good. He’s sweaty and the game hasn’t even started.”

“Just worry about yourself.” Wyatt’s tone was uncharacteristically serious. “I’m not kidding, Pricey. If he wants to fight, end it as fast as possible. Did you see that last fight, against what’s-his-name in Calgary?”

Ryan had watched that fight, and he had also noticed how wild Harvey’s swings had been. How hard he’d hit. How damaged his opponent’s face had been after. “Yeah. I know.”

In the second period, Harvey shoved Ryan. Nothing had happened between them up to that point, but Harvey must have decided it was time for them to fight.

“Fuck off, Harvey,” Ryan said tiredly.

But Harvey shoved him again. “Let’s go, fucker.”

Ryan turned to face him. The Pay the Price chant had already started. “I’m not gonna fight you.”

Harvey’s eyes bugged out. He looked feral. “The fuck you aren’t.” He threw his gloves off and Ryan watched them skid across the ice.

“Let’s go,” Harvey snarled.

“No.”

Harvey tried to grab his jersey, but Ryan skated backward and Harvey ended up grabbing air and almost losing his balance. “Fight me, you coward!”

Ryan didn’t want to. He was a good defenseman. He could contribute to a team without having to do this.

And besides, Harvey wasn’t well.

Harvey launched himself at Ryan, this time taking a wild swing. Ryan grabbed both of Harvey’s wrists and wrestled his arms out to his sides. Harvey lost it. He was full-on screaming in Ryan’s face, demanding that he drop the gloves. Ryan just shook his head.

And then Harvey headbutted him.

The front of his helmet smashed into Ryan’s mouth and chin, and it hurt like a motherfucker. Ryan staggered back, completely in shock that Harvey would do something so dirty, and then his mouth filled with blood.

Ryan’s brain went quiet, and it was all he could do to stop himself from knocking Harvey to the ice. But he didn’t. Instead, he dropped Harvey’s wrists and skated away. Behind him, he could hear Harvey’s hysterical screaming.

“Where the fuck are you going? You’re a fucking joke, Price! Come back and fight me, you asshole!”

Ryan ignored him. When he got to the bench, his teammates were quiet. There were no sticks being knocked against the boards like there always was after a fight, and no congratulatory words. Just uncomfortable silence, and a disapproving glare from his coach.

“Go to the dressing room,” Coach Cooper barked. “Get your mouth cleaned up. And stay there until intermission.”

“Yes, Coach,” Ryan mumbled. As he made his way down the hallway, he hoped he hadn’t just thrown his career away.

Fabian felt sick.

He’d thought it was time he tried to watch one of Ryan’s games. He’d met Tarek at a pub in the Village that showed Guardians games on their big screen televisions, and had been doing his best to follow the action. Ryan didn’t get shown up close very often, so the game was pretty boring.

Until it wasn’t.

There was a player who was almost as big as Ryan who kept shoving him. Fabian held his breath when Ryan turned to face the other man, sure that he was going to have to watch his sweet possible-boyfriend punch someone. Fabian covered his mouth with his hand, but forced himself to watch the screen.

So he saw what happened next.

“Holy shit!” Tarek said. “I don’t know shit about hockey, but I am pretty sure you’re not allowed to do that.”

Fabian knew enough about hockey to know that headbutting was not a normal part of the game. He knew enough about pain to know that Ryan must be in a lot of it right now. For a second, Ryan’s face changed into something Fabian didn’t recognize. It was dark and intense and terrifying.

“Oh my god,” Fabian said hoarsely. “Ryan, don’t.”

As if Ryan could hear him, his face immediately softened, and he skated away as the other man was dragged off the ice by some of the officials.

“Are you okay?” Tarek asked gently.

“I don’t know. Why does he do this? Why would anyone do this for a job? Why does anyone like watching this?”

“I have no idea.”

“It’s awful. He’s too good for this.”

“He didn’t fight him,” Tarek pointed out. “You could tell he was trying to talk the guy out of it.”

Fabian pressed his lips together. His eyes were stinging. It was true, Ryan hadn’t fought him. Why hadn’t he fought him? Not for Fabian’s sake, surely.

“Come on,” Tarek said, covering one of Fabian’s hands with his own. “Let’s get out of here, huh? I think there’s karaoke happening tonight at the Lighthouse. I could see if Vanessa—”

“Thanks,” Fabian said. “But I think I’d like to go home.”

Tarek nodded, then stood. “Then let’s go.”

Ryan had left his apartment the moment he’d gotten the message.

Fabian: Please come over. I know it’s late. I know we said tomorrow. But I need to see you.

It had been a long fucking day, and Ryan’s mouth was swollen and sore, but if Fabian wanted to see him, Ryan was there.

Fabian was standing outside his building when Ryan arrived, which he didn’t like seeing at all. “What are you doing out here? You shouldn’t be—”

But Fabian cut him off by engulfing him in a fierce hug.

Ryan didn’t understand what was happening, so he just wrapped his arms around Fabian and held him tight. It wasn’t until he heard Fabian sniffing that he finally asked, “What’s wrong?”

Fabian’s reply was so muffled, Ryan couldn’t make it out. Fabian’s fingers dug into Ryan’s back, and Ryan was getting scared. He’d never seen him so upset.

“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. I’m here. What is it?”

Fabian finally loosened his hold and looked up at him with damp eyes. “I watched the game.” He reached up and brushed his fingers very gently against Ryan’s split and swollen lip. “I saw what happened.”

Ryan swallowed. His throat felt like sandpaper. “I wish you hadn’t.”

“You didn’t fight him.”

“No.”

“Why not? Isn’t that what you do?”

Ryan cradled Fabian’s face with one palm. “I didn’t want to.” He stroked Fabian’s cheek with his thumb. “I don’t think I want to fight anymore.”

Fabian covered Ryan’s hand with his own. “Then don’t.”

“I don’t know if I’ll have a choice. Coach was pretty pissed with me.

” What Coach Cooper had said was that he had plenty of decent fourth-line defensemen he could call up from the farm team, and all of them were younger and faster than Ryan.

If Ryan didn’t want to do his job anymore, he could be easily replaced.

But Ryan didn’t need to tell Fabian any of that.

“Are you all right? God, your mouth must hurt.”

“It doesn’t feel great, but nothing is broken or anything.” Ryan attempted a smile. “Didn’t lose any teeth.”

Fabian squeezed him again. “That was so fucking scary. I hated it. I don’t want to watch hockey. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.” Ryan actually didn’t like the idea of Fabian watching him play.

And he especially didn’t like the idea of him watching him fight.

Ryan wanted to take care of him, for them to take care of each other.

Fabian would make him laugh and try new things, and Ryan would make him feel safe and loved.

Because those were things that Ryan could do. Effortlessly.

If Fabian wanted that.

“We should go inside,” Ryan suggested. Fabian nodded against his chest, then pulled away with another sniffle.

When they were inside the apartment, Fabian said, “I can’t watch you get hurt. How do all those hockey wives do it?”

“They’re tough. I think the season is harder on them than the players, honestly.”

Fabian smiled at that. “Can you imagine me sitting with the wives at the games?”

No. For lots of reasons, Ryan couldn’t imagine that at all. “I would never expect you to do that.”

“I know. Of course not. And,” Fabian’s cheeks colored, “I’m not comparing myself to your teammates’ wives. I’m not that delusional. We’re not even—” Fabian crossed his arms, hugging himself tightly, and pursed his lips as if to stop his words from escaping. “Do you think—?”

Ryan sat on the end of the bed so they could be closer to eye-level with each other. “Think what?”

Fabian reached for Ryan’s hands and held them. “Would I be out of line if I asked if I could be your boyfriend?”

Ryan’s heart bounced excitedly. “You want to be my boyfriend?”

Fabian stared down at their joined hands. “I know that our schedules are very hectic, but yes. I’d like to explore this. If you’re willing.”

“Fabian. Look at me.” That was probably a mistake because Ryan forgot how awful his mouth looked.

He noticed Fabian’s flinch when he turned his eyes up.

Ryan tugged him closer. “My life is a fucking mess, but the one thing I know for sure is that I like being with you. And I would like to be with you as much as possible.”

Fabian squeezed Ryan’s hands, and his lips curved up into an adorable smile. Ryan decided to say the rest.

“I’m happy when I’m with you. This probably sounds ridiculous, but I haven’t felt happy in so long. I can’t even remember. So...yeah. I want to be your boyfriend.” He huffed an embarrassed little laugh. “I can’t believe I finally got to say that out loud after all these years.”

He held his breath and waited for Fabian to respond. For a long moment, Fabian didn’t say anything, and Ryan was worried he had come on too strong. Maybe he was putting too much pressure on him.

Then Fabian said, “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

Ryan’s heart soared. “Me too.”

As a compromise, Fabian retrieved one of his hands from Ryan’s, kissed the tips of his fingers, and pressed them gently to Ryan’s lips. It was one of the sweetest kisses Ryan had ever received.

They ended up spooned together in bed, snuggled under the blankets. Ryan thought Fabian had fallen asleep until he heard him say, “There’s always been something about you. I’ve always been drawn to you. Is that weird?”

Ryan considered it. “I don’t know. But I feel the same way.”

“When you walked into the store where I work, I was shocked. And then...” Fabian turned in Ryan’s arms to face him. “I had this overwhelming feeling of relief. Like this was what I’d been waiting for. This was what was missing. You.”

Ryan stared at what he could see of Fabian in the dark, completely speechless.

“Sorry. That probably sounds nuts.”

“That’s how I felt,” he said quietly. “Like I’d finally found you. I didn’t know I’d been looking but...I found you.”

Fabian smiled so brightly that Ryan could see it even in the darkness. “Then we’d better stick together.”