Page 9 of Touchdown (Football Romance #3)

9

Luke

I sigh happily as I relax back into Cody’s chest. It’s ridiculous, how happy I am. I’ve been in love before, but this is different. I click with Cody in a way I never have with anyone else. It makes me question whether what I was feeling before for others was even love in the first place.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

I hesitate. It’s been five weeks, but neither Cody nor I have used the L-word yet. I haven’t wanted to scare him off by saying it too soon.

I hesitate for too long, because Cody sits up straighter and pulls me around to look at him. “Luke? What’s wrong?”

I smile at him. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just really happy.”

“Then why do you look like a kid who has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar?”

“I just…”

“You just what?”

I’m terrified of spooking Cody. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t afford to lose him.

Distraction tactics—I lean forward to kiss Cody, something he’s never been able to resist before, but this time, he puts his hands firmly on my shoulders, holding me at bay. “Nuh-uh. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong first. Then, I’ll kiss you.”

I can’t. He’s going to freak out and then where will I be?

“Luke? Seriously, babe, you’re hyperventilating. Just spit it out, won’t you?”

“I love you!” I blurt out.

Cody frowns at me. “I know. I love you too.”

I gape at him. “You… you know?”

“Luke, you do remember, don’t you?”

“Remember what?”

Cody chuckles. “Apparently not, then. Well, do you remember our date two weeks ago, when we went to that bar?”

“Don’t remind me,” I groan, wondering why Cody would bring up that embarrassing incident now. “I haven’t gotten that drunk since I was in college.”

“What do you remember from that night?”

“I remember having a great time, at first. We were dancing, and you were feeling me up on the dance floor. Then I started to feel ill, and… I’m not sure after that.”

“Well, let me fill you in. After you finished throwing up in the bathroom, I got you home. You threw up in my bathroom for a while and then I got you into bed. We cuddled and… and then you told me you loved me.”

“I did? I don’t remember that!”

“Yeah, I gathered. Anyway, I told you I love you too and to go to sleep.”

I find myself laughing. “I guess all that worry was for nothing. I thought you’d freak out when I told you. I know that you were worried about feelings getting involved, and this is the ultimate for feelings. You just… said it back.”

Cody grins and kisses me on the nose. “It was good that it happened the way it did. At the time, I was so distracted trying to ascertain that you didn’t have alcohol poisoning, I wasn’t really concentrating and said it back automatically—not that I didn’t mean it, of course. It’s just that I’d been going over that particular conversation in our head so many times that the words just slipped out.

“Later, when I had time to really think about it, I realized that we’d said the words and nothing bad had happened. We were still just us. Putting words to what we were both feeling anyway didn’t change that.”

“I guess I underestimated you. I’m proud of you, Cody. I know none of this is easy for you.”

Cody’s eyes seek the ground. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. I mean, you’ve also been hurt before, but I’m the only one who drags it around with me and lets it affect my life every day.”

“We can’t control how our pasts affect us. I love you just as you are, and I accept all of you completely.”

Cody leans in and kisses me. “I love you too. I can’t believe I spent so long resisting you—resisting this. If I’d known what being with you would be like, I’d never have put you through all the shit I did.”

I shrug. “We all make mistakes. I’m not going to dwell on the past. Let’s live for the future.”

“I can do that. Now, I don’t want you modifying your actions because you’re scared of how I’ll react. If something triggers me, we’ll talk about it together, alright?”

“Really?”

“Of course. We’re a team, Luke. I don’t ever want you to feel like you need to hold yourself back because you’re afraid that my past might make me react badly. I’m moving past it, I’m seeing a therapist now, remember, and I promise that if something you say or do doesn’t feel right, I’ll let you know and we can talk about it.”

“Are you certain, Cody? I don’t want to freak you out and make you run off.”

Cody wraps an arm around me and pulls me close. “I’m not going to do that. I love you too much to leave you.”

That changes things. If Cody is really being serious, and it seems to me that he is, there’s something I want to do.

“Oliver!” I pull Oliver into a tight hug. It’s been too long since I’ve seen my brother. We do what we can with video calls, but it’s not the same as seeing each other in person. Ideally, we’d have played in the same team, but things just didn’t work out that way.

“Luke! How are you doing, buddy?”

“Really well. How about you? How’s Trevor?”

Oliver’s face softened. “He’s good. He’s watching the cats while I’m gone. Speaking of boyfriends, when am I going to meet this Cody I keep hearing so much about?”

“That’s actually why I asked you to visit—well, partially why. I want you to meet him, but I also want your help.” I draw in a deep breath. “I want to propose to Cody.”

Oliver raises an eyebrow. “You’ve only known the guy a few months.”

“Oli! You’re supposed to be supportive here.”

“Sorry, sorry! I meant to say, I’m happy for you, man. What do you need from me?”

“The proposal has to be perfect. I need help planning it. I’ve never done this before.”

“Neither have I.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who reads wedding magazines in their free time. Surely you know plenty about proposals?”

“Relax, Luke, I’m just pulling your leg. Of course, I know how to propose. Don’t worry, we’ll plan it together. It’s going to be perfect.”

The planning takes three days. Getting the ring is the worst. I spend three hours agonizing over which one Cody will like the most before Oli cuts me off, telling me that if I don’t choose, he will, and he’s going choose the ugliest ring in the shop.

Eventually, I get a sparkling gold ring with diamonds inset in the center all the way around. I hope Cody likes it.

“Luke, chill out. Cody loves you. It doesn’t matter if he hates the stupid ring. What matters is that you’re the one giving it to him.”

“Will he say yes?” I ask desperately. “What if this is all a bad idea? What if he turns me down?”

“He’s going to say yes,” Oliver soothes. “Now, get into position, it’s nearly time.”

My plan is to do it after practice, on the field with our team around us. I don’t count on the terrified look on Cody’s face when I get down on one knee in front of him.

“Luke, what…?”

“Cody, there are so many things I could say, but in the end, there are only a few that matter. I love you, and I want to spend forever with you. Please, will you marry me?”

Cody looked like he wanted to run away.

I had let my emotions run away with me and put my heart out to him there on the field.

Was I making the biggest mistake?