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Cody

“ T his isn’t working.”

I try not to let my sudden alarm show. I came in expecting a lecture from Brandon, but he’s looking uncharacteristically serious, even compared to the other angry reprimands Luke and I have gotten in the past. The fact that he asked to speak with me alone also puts me on edge.

Am I about to be kicked off the team? In all honesty, if that’s the case, I couldn’t really blame Brandon. I’ve behaved horribly and I’d deserve it. Still, I hold out some slim hope that I may have a couple of chances left.

“What do you mean?” I ask evenly.

“You know exactly what I mean, Cody! I know you are behind the problems with you and Luke. You have refused to tell me what the problem is and at this point, I don’t care. I’m going to give you until the end of the day to decide if you can work with him or not. If you can’t, then I’ll do my best to help you find a placement with another team. If you decide you want to stay, then I expect you to drop the drama, and I mean right now.”

I open my mouth to protest, but what can I really say? He’s right. Of course, he’s right. This can’t go on. The lost game yesterday proves that much.

“I understand, Brandon. I will think on it and let you know.”

“Good. I’ll talk to Luke too, but if you stop with the bullshit, I expect he’ll be willing to give you another chance.”

We’ve got two weeks until the next game, so Brandon has given us the day away from practice. I go home and indulge in a tub of ice cream on the way back. I’ll have plenty of time to eat well before I need to play again.

I sit gloomily on my couch, eating the ice cream, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do.

Brandon is right. I need to change my attitude—either move to a different team or stop treating Luke the way I have been. Despite all the problems with Luke, I really don’t want to move to another team. I like all of my teammates—even Luke, surprisingly, his stupidly handsome features excluded—and I feel like I fit in well here.

I try to drown my sorrows in the ice cream, but there is little such escape while I still have the decision hanging over my head.

What is more important to me? My career or my heart? Or to put it another way… How long am I going to let Zack haunt me and my future? Will I really give up a job I love just because I’m afraid that someone else could hurt me like he did?

It’s not like I’m suddenly going to fall in love with Luke if I start treating him decently. I won’t give him that opportunity to hurt me. And after I continued to treat him like I have been even after the blowjobs, I doubt he’ll have any further interest in sleeping with me. I should be safe.

So, I grab my phone and look through the team group chat for Luke’s number. I call and wait while it rings.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Luke, it’s Cody.”

“What the fuck are you doing calling me?”

“I just want to talk. I—Luke? Luke, are you there?”

He’s not. He hung up. Well, that could have gone better.

Next, I call Brandon. “Cody. Have you made a decision?”

“I have. I want to be part of the team.”

“I see. And you’re willing to make things right with Luke in order to remain?”

“I am. I tried to call him just now, to apologize, but he hung up on me before I could get the words out—not that I blame him. Getting him to forgive me will be tricky, though. I know Luke’s not generally one to hold a grudge, but I’ve treated him horribly for weeks now.”

“Hm, you have a point there. Let me think on it. I’m sure I can work something out. As long as you’re willing to leave your animosity behind, there has to be a way to work past this.”

I’m not so sure, but I don’t want to say so to Brandon when he’s allowing me to stay on as part of the team, at least for now.

“I’ll try again with Luke at our next practice. Maybe by then, he will have cooled off a little. He’s probably still angry about the game.”

“Yeah, probably. Let me go think on it. I’ll talk to you soon, Cody.”

“See you, Brandon.”

I end the call and reflect miserably that I seem to have achieved what I wanted all along: Luke hates me. I can only hope it’s not too late to make things better.

I get an email from Brandon in the evening, but it’s not just addressed to me. It’s a group email to the whole team inviting us on a wilderness retreat for “team-building purposes.” It’s clear from the wording of the “invitation” that participation isn’t optional.

Though Brandon doesn’t say as much, I am certain that this retreat is aimed at Luke and me. It’s a good idea. Maybe it’ll give the two of us some time to get to know each other properly without all the fake drama I’ve been creating.

If we’re lucky, this retreat can be a new start, for both of us.