Page 11

11

Luke

I don’t know how many days have passed since Cody left me. They all blur together. If life with Cody was a dream, life after him is a nightmare.

It wasn’t that I was unhappy before. It’s that now that I know what it’s like to be with Cody, being without him is like having a gaping open wound in my chest. I don’t know how to go on, but I have no choice except to do exactly that.

“Luke, can I speak with you, please?”

I nod dully. I don’t know why Brandon wants to speak with me. After all, Cody and I have been playing fine. When I’m on the field with him is one of the few times that I truly feel alive. It’s when we’re not playing that everything comes rushing back and I feel like I can’t breathe.

“Yes, Brandon?”

Brandon ushers me into his office and frowns at me over his desk. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” I respond automatically. I’m anything but fine, but what else can I say?

“You are not. I see you, Luke. You’re falling apart.”

I bristle at that. “I’m playing fine. I’m eating and sleeping and training well. I’m fine.”

“Training, food and sleep are the bare minimums for existence, Luke. You barely talk anymore, let alone smile or laugh. I— we’re —all really worried for you. We think… We think you should see someone.”

I snort. “That’s not going to help, Brandon.”

“Then what will help?”

I hesitate. “Has Cody… Has he said anything? About why he left?”

It still doesn’t really make sense to me. Things were going so well, and then Cody just vanished. His arguments about not being good enough for me or giving me what I wanted were completely ridiculous. I wish I could shake some sense into him, but he has made it clear that for whatever reason, he doesn’t want me anymore.

I love him, and I thought he loved me just as much, but I was wrong. If he had, he never would have just left like that, even if I had seriously screwed up.

Brandon sits back in his seat. “He has talked to me, but that was in confidence, Luke. I’m not going to betray him.”

“Of course,” I say dully. “I wouldn’t expect you to betray a friend.”

“I can’t tell you what he said to me, but I can try to talk to him. Perhaps I can talk some sense into him.”

“What’s the point? He doesn’t want me and you can’t make him.”

“You’re a fool if you think he doesn’t want you. He’s been just as miserable as you have these past two weeks.”

“If he wanted me, he wouldn’t have left me. He didn’t have to accept my proposal, but he left me, Brandon.”

“He was just—I’m sorry, but I can’t say. I will talk to him, though. I can tell you this, Luke: Cody still loves you. I’ll talk to him. The two of you are perfect together. There has to be a way to work things out.”

I shake my head sadly. Brandon is clearly trying to cheer me up, but he’s going about it in the wrong way. Still, I appreciate that he’s trying. “Thanks, Brandon.” I force a smile as I get up. “I’m going to head home for the day.”

“You do that, Luke. I’ll talk to Cody.”

I know that there is no talking Cody into doing anything he doesn’t want to do, and there is no talking anyone into continuing a relationship they no longer want. Brandon’s task is pointless, but I’ll let him find that out for himself.