Page 17

This was the first snowman I’d ever made. It wasn’t because I’d never been around snow before. I grew up on the east coast where snow happened, not as much as it did in this specific area, because this was too much snow. I was always more of an indoors person. If I could stay inside and read or draw, I would always take that opportunity. The idea of going outside where I wouldn’t be able read the next chapter of a book had given me anxiety as a kid. And most winter holidays were spent in Florida at my grandparents place, and there was never snow there.

Hardin helped like he was a seasoned professional snowman builder. I knew the basics, but he was packing in the snow at the sides and securing it to the ground so that the balls wouldn’t topple in the middle of the night. And I added a bulge to it as well, making it a snow Daddy, which was only one of the requirements to be my Daddy. The other requirement was to be taller, and the snow Daddy was taller thanks to Hardin.

“You know this isn’t going to go until spring,” he said.

“So, even when I’ve got back home, you’ll still have a memory of me sitting right outside,” I told him. “Ok, finishing touches. We need something for the eyes, something for the nose, and the Santa hat, of course.”

“There are buttons inside,” he said. “They’ll do for the eyes. We can get a branch for the nose and maybe some pebbles for the mouth.”

“Good idea!” I spun on a foot in the snow, almost falling. Hardin took my arm to steady me. I wasn’t going to find pebbles. I could barely see the ground beneath the snow.

“I’ll get buttons for the mouth too,” he said. “Don’t fall in the snow.”

“What if I want to make a snow angel?” I asked. “I’ve never done one of those either.”

He looked me up and down. “I’ll find a patch of snow that isn’t as deep. But it’s the last thing we’re doing before we go back inside. I’m worried your body won’t react well to the cold.”

“I have this coat, it’ll keep me warm,” I said, shimming my shoulders in it. I still couldn’t quite believe how ill-prepared I’d been to come here. I’d seen a weather report so I knew it was going to be cold, I just didn’t account for knee-high snow, or snow at all if I was being honest.

As Hardin went to collect all the trinkets for the snow Daddy, I stood in front of it, hands on my hips like I was a judge. If I had to score it, it was already a ten out of ten. It still needed a hat and a face, but that bulge, all my handiwork. I had a knack for making bulges bigger it seemed.

“Are you looking at it’s snow dick?” he asked, catching me off guard.

“Uh—I—”

“It’s ok if you were, but I must draw the line at giving head to a snowman,” he said. “You’ll be in bed for days with a cold. And we’ve already discussed why I don’t want that.”

Secretly, I think he’d love taking care of me. He’d probably make a little stink and then eventually come around to the idea of being there for me, doting with his homemade soups and breads. It was wild to me that he kept this side of himself hidden from the town.

“Don’t worry, there’s only one snow Daddy I want to give head to,” I giggled.

“Oh, really?” he asked, fixing the buttons on the face. It was within reach for me, but only on my tiptoes. “You know, I’m starting to wonder if you’ve got another Daddy on the side you haven’t introduced me to yet.”

I scoffed. “The last man I had any type of Daddy fling with was like four years ago. He was more Daddy by name and less Daddy by nature.”

“And by that you mean what exactly?”

“He just liked being called Daddy, he didn’t actually do any of the things a Daddy should do,” I explained.

He pulled the Santa hat from my head. “And where do I fall on this scale?” he asked, fixing the hat to the top of the snow Daddy’s domed head.

“You’re sweet, you’re caring, and you make me food,” I said.

Hardin turned away, but I saw him smiling just before he looked up. “Anything else?”

I tackled him from the side with a hug. “You’re also cuddly and warm, not right now, because we’re outside.”

He wrapped an arm around me and stroked a hand through my hair. “I’m not sure everyone would agree with you about that,” he said. “But I’ll take your word for it.” With his hands on me, we stepped back together. “Ok, let’s see this masterpiece then.”

“It’s missing a nose,” I immediately said.

“You were supposed to get a twig or something.”

“I know, I know, I got distracted.”

Hardin kept an arm over my shoulder, pulling me in closer for a hug. “At least you’re admitting to staring at the snow dick,” he said. “Come on then. Let’s get this snow angel out of the way. I’m ready to head back inside.” He looked down at me with a big smile. “And you are too. Your nose is all pink.”

I wiped a hand at my face. My nose was cold, a little numb too. I sniffled in. “Can we have a bubble bath together later?”

“You want me in your bubble bath?”

“Only if you want. Maybe you want to play with my rubber duckies.”

He bit his lower lip and hummed. “Or maybe you want to play with mine.” He winked.

I definitely wanted to play with his duckie, and I wasn’t talking about the rubber ones either. But he also wasn’t saying no to the bubble bath either. I really needed to send my agent a large thank you letter for sending me out here. It was soul cleansing. I didn’t know if I’d ever be the same again once it was over. I hoped not. I’d rediscovered some lost inspiration.

After making a snow angel, I realized why he wanted me inside afterwards. It was so freaking cold to submerge yourself into the bed of snow, more when you move your arms and legs up and down to create the snow angel pattern. But at least it looked cute, and Hardin took a picture for me on the phone, which he was still adamant about not connecting the internet. I didn’t blame him, we were having fun in our bubble together, I didn’t need to show my friends how much fun I was having.

As the days passed together, I found myself walking lighter, almost like the overwhelming weight of the world had stopped its impending crush on my soul. I still had two weeks left, but I was already dreading the moment I would have to leave this place, and the way Daddy Hardin had made me feel.

The snow Daddy outside stayed completely untouched, only growing as more snow fell on top of it. It was an additional job I took on to maintain the snow Daddy and make sure he didn’t get too big.

It was on the seventh day of my stay when I was told there was a surprise outside. It was the middle of the afternoon and I’d been sitting inside my blanket fort working on pages for the Teddy Wars comic. It was first time any idea had come to me, and my fingers had been itching to actually sketch out the ideas, and at least get back to the tyrannical Teddy King who was attempting to mind-control all the teddies in the city.

“One minute,” I called out from the fort. On the page of rushed comic panel sketches, the largest was occupied with the Teddy King’s hand as it broke the barrier of the box it was drawn inside, giving it the appearance of him reaching out of the page at the reader.

“Come on,” Hardin said. “Otherwise you’ll miss it.”

“Wait! What?” I scooched out from the blanket fort in my bear onesie. I had a pair of velvet plush deer antlers on a headband over my head, forgetting about them when I was leaving the fort and nearly pulled the entire structure of it down on my way out.

Daddy Hardin stood at the front door, he had one of the Santa hats on, and a big smile. “You only get to see me in this once,” he said, and as he moved slightly, something caught my eye above the door.

“What’s that?”

“Oh. Come a little closer and see.”

Mistletoe! I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. “You went to get a tree?” I asked, planting the biggest kiss on his face. “You didn’t tell me you were going to get a tree.” In fact, he’d told me he was going to exercise the horses, a job I had refused because I didn’t want to get anymore of those nasty bruises on the insides of my thighs. “Where is it?”

“Hold up now,” he said, carrying me across the lounge to the sofa. He held me over it to fall off on my own. “I need you to make a little room inside. Where do you want to put it?” he asked, and almost tin the blink of an eye, he’d removed the Santa hat and replaced it back with his firm Stetson.

“Over there!” I pointed, right by the blanket fort.

“Now, you know we can’t do that. That’s a fire hazard.”

I gestured wildly, pointing in all directions. “I don’t know.”

“How about we move the fort? I know you don’t want to move to, but it would be easiest.”

“Yes!” The only thing that mattered was getting a tree. There was only so much tinsel I could fix to the window sills and random places around the house before I could see it annoy Hardin, and it also looked a lot like trash when it wasn’t on a tree, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.

“Perfect,” he said. “You need help pulling the fort down, or can you do it alone?” he asked. “I’ve got to unstrap the tree from the cart outside, and trim it a little more with a saw. But if you can handle this job alone, I’d be able to get it done a lot faster.”

I was already convinced. “Leave it to me!”

The fort would have to go somewhere else, like his bedroom, which was already a fort of its own in many ways. As Daddy went back out, I looked through the window behind the sofa to look at the large green pine tree on the cart. Pip and Rusty were beside it. I wondered how he’d gotten it back, but I recalled him mentioning how the horses were sometimes used for transportation.

I cleaned away the fort faster than he’d gotten the tree ready. I was beyond excited to have a real Christmas tree. I hadn’t needed to do much convincing once we’d discovered a shared interested, that was making me happy. I collected stray bits of tinsel from around the house, maybe another reason he wanted the tree here sooner rather than later since it would definitely clean the place up a lot.

“You got the space ready?” he called out to me as I was busy collecting every last ornament I’d distributed from the box of so-called Christmas tat.

“Yes! Yes!”

He brought the tree in all by himself, flexing his large muscles and strength. It almost took my breath away. I fawned over him dramatically, telling him how big and handsome he was for being able to get a full tree inside the house.

“Bring that box over here,” he said. “As much as I love you being a cheerleader, I’m gonna need just a touch of help with this part.”

From the box of things, there had been a stand for a tree which he used to stand the tree upright in the corner of the lounge. It fit perfectly, with just enough room on the top for a star. Once it was erected, we both took steps away from it and looked it up and down. It blocked a little of the natural light coming in from the far window, but it would soon be alight with colorful fairy lights and I’d already tested them out to know they even had a twinkle setting.

“A couple things you need to be wary about,” he said. “This is a real tree, so it will shed pine needles. You’re gonna have to be very careful getting close and stepping on the floor, those things can really prick ya. Got it.”

“Got it!” I said and stood to attention.

“Good boy,” he said, leaning in and kissing me.

Just as the affection started, a loud horn beeped approaching up the road. From what I was told, we were going to be alone together until I was set to leave. I looked up at Hardin to see who it could be.

“Oh, June’s just swinging by,” he said with a smile. “Don’t worry.”

“But I don’t want—”

“It’s fine,” he said, placing his cool hand against my face. “I told her I needed a couple things from town. She might stay for a tea, but you’re gonna like what she’s brought.”

I’d known Hardin for a week, I couldn’t be sure what people knew and didn’t know about him. But I knew that he was secretive about his sexuality, and I didn’t want to be the reason he was outed.

He went to help her out in the drive, shoveling snow for her to drive closer to the house. All I could do was look at the tree and inhale the earthy pine smell, which was oddly familiar to how the inside of some cars smelled.

June came in to see me standing still in front of the tree. “You’re still alive,” she said. “I’m glad Hard-ass over there brought you into the main house. I bet the pipes back at the cabin have all but frozen up now.”

“Hard-ass,” I laughed.

“Oh, gosh, yes,” she joined me in laughter.

“What brings you back?” I asked as Hardin walked through the door with a large box in his arms and both the dogs jumping at him.

“I got a call in the early hours,” she said. “Mind you, I was already awake doing my sudoku. And Hardin asked me a bunch of supplies, which isn’t unusual, but I’m starting to think they’re not all for him. In fact, I know they’re not.”

Hardin winked at me in secret behind her. “The kid needs stuff,” he said.

“What’s in the box?”

“Come take a look,” he said, planting the box on the sofa.

“Oh goodness, I’ve only just noticed the tree,” she said. “What’s happened?” She snorted. “Have you replaced him?”

“I’m just grateful to be busy,” Hardin said. I wondered if it was a lie because when I’d first arrived, he was adamant about his rest and relaxation. “Chopped it down earlier. Tommy’s gonna dress it.”

I dipped to my knees in front of the box on the sofa. “Dress it?” I asked. “You mean decorate it.”

“In all fairness, there should be a tree skirt somewhere,” June said. “Not a dress though.”

Hardin snapped his fingers. “Right. We’re gonna have to find that for the pine needles to fall on something.”

Inside the box, I uncovered packets of candy canes, lots of chocolate, in many different forms, a new supply of marshmallows, and beneath it all, a teddy bear. I pulled it out and gasped, staring at it. “Oh my god,” I whispered.

“That was supposed to be wrapped,” Hardin said.

“You said go to the toy store, buy a teddy, and nothing about wrapping,” June said. “Unless you did, which is my mistake.”

“I definitely did,” he said. “It was gonna be a surprise. I’d agreed on the tree, and I thought it was bad luck to have a tree without any gifts under it. And Tommy has been talking about his comics, which you should read by the way, and I figured a teddy would help with the inspiration.”

“I would love to read them. But I doubt our bookstore has a selection of them.” June hummed. “And I have heard of the tree thing before. Pretend you didn’t see and put it back in the box so Hardin can wrap it.”

“I’ll find something else that can go under the tree,” he said.

I watched the back and forth as I squished the new teddy to my chest. It had that new teddy smell, but I was also very wary of new teddies because they could’ve already been under the Teddy King’s control, and that wasn’t going to be much fun.

“You can take the first book with you,” I told her. “Hardin’s already read it, and I wrote it. You can keep it too. A thank you for all the stuff.” The book was in all the things I’d taken out of the blanket fort and now residing in the bedroom.

She flicked through the first couple of pages. “Oh, it’s certainly a different type of book for me.”

“You won’t regret it,” Hardin said. “And the art is great too.”

I wanted to squeal and rush him with a hug, but I would have to save that for later.

“Ok, well, I wish I could stay, but I’ve got a visitor arriving tonight,” she said. “That’s right. My daughter’s decided to pay me a visit.”June gave me a hug before leaving, and as she stood on the porch, she let out a small scream. “Oh by the lord.”

“What?” We both raced to her. My feetie onesie in the snow from the porch.

“The snowman,” she laughed. “It appeared out of nowhere. Oh well, I’ll see you soon, and thank you for the book.”

Once June was driving away, Hardin picked me up, my feet drenched in the melted snow. He carried me inside and as we passed the mistletoe together, he gave me a large kiss on the lips, and then one on each cheek. “It looks like you’ve got a tree to dress ,” he said.

“ We .”