Page 11

Sully was my second favorite person to come to the ranch. June had to be first since she drove me from the airport. Hardin was my third, but only because he was the only other person around. Although with the offer of taking a room in the main house, he might’ve secured temporary access to the top spot.

We checked in on the animals, giving them their food, milking the goats, and trying not to have our hands pecked collected the eggs. And then there were the cats, hissing at the dogs and controlling access into the inner pens of the barn.

“Do the cats always stay in here?” I asked as both Midnight and Snowflake glared into my soul. “They’re like mafia bosses.”

“Accurate,” Sully said. “In summer, they come into the garage and pester the shit out of me.”

“It’s also a shed where a lot of food is kept,” Hardin said. “And you’ll happily gave them snacks. That’s why they’re nice to you.”

“Why aren’t they nice to me?” I asked. “They don’t even know me.”

“In their eyes, you’re just coming in, stealing eggs, playing with the goats teats, and then leaving,” Hardin stated. “You’re not doing anything for them.”

Speechless at his phrasing. I didn’t know how to respond. “I’m not—”

“You could’ve said fondling with the teats,” Sully laughed.

“But I—”

“Come on,” Sully said. “Let’s go deal with the horses now.”

“Wait, no, I—” Words were forming on the tip of my tongue, but they were not coming out of my mouth.

Hardin patted a hand on my back. “The longer you stand there, staring at them, the more they’re scanning your face. You’ll become a target to their little scratches. And trust me, they hurt.”

“You said I was playing with the goats nipples,” I finally got out, bursting into laughter. “It’s hardly playing.”

“Come on kid, we don’t have all day, you heard Sully, there’s a storm approaching, and I’ve so graciously offered you a place to stay,” he said, his hand still on my back, and through the foam of the coat, I could feel just how much tension he was applying to his touch. It was nice, almost a massage. If only I was that lucky.

“I’m not a kid,” I grumbled.

“Calling you a kid is probably nice considering what you were doing to those goats,” Sully said, flashing a wink. “But I’m not here to judge.”

We walked around the barn to the stable as we all chuckled about the play on kid and baby goat. I suppose it made sense to be called that. There was a lot of motion in the stables as Sully was backed against the side wall, scared of the animals.

“I’m not sure what you want me to do with those things, but I don’t know if I can get any closer,” Sully grumbled.

“Relax,” Hardin said. “They can smell the fear.”

“No. Can they?”

“Of course,” I said, playing along. At least I hoped I was. If they really could smell fear, then I was getting off lucky the first time I met them. “I heard they’re like the sharks of the land with their big teeth.” I held myself up on the fenced stable hatch. My legs had been ripped to shreds. I was lucky I made it out of bed.

The excitable dog jumped up at Sully as the other sniffed around Belle’s stable. “Har-de-har, you two are hilarious. Hardin knows I don’t go near them.”

“You actually did better than I expected,” Hardin noted. “You rarely come inside.”

“It was an accident,” he grumbled, fighting for his life as the dog jumped up at his, slobbering all over his coat. “Tommy was behind and I was just walking on in. It caught me by surprise.”

It was nice to be in on the joke, rather than being the one accused of fondling goats. Hardin checked each of the horses over, throwing extra hay into their stables, and then covering them up securely with blankets just in case it got extra cold throughout the night. The barn and stable always radiated heat though, the type that had me walking out attempting to blow cold air at my face.

Out of the stable, Sully fanned a hand at his face. “That horse on the end had evil in its eyes,” he said. “Well, I guess you twoshould go start moving stuff from the cabin over, I’ll get started on salt gritting the paths.”

Hardin scoffed. “Since when were you in charge?”

“Yeah, I’m not taking orders from you,” I joined in, giggling to myself.

“Come on, I’m just trying to be helpful,” he said. “Besides, kid, it was my idea for you to actually be in a house that wouldn’t come tumbling if a strong gust of wind came knocking.”

I looked from one to the other. “Seriously?”

“No, the cabin is sturdy,” Hardin said. “He’s just misremembering a situation that happened when the cabin was snowed in and started leaning because of the weight of the snow.”

Either way, that didn’t sound good. “I’m on Sully’s side now. And I might need to bring more things with me.”

“Kid, you’ve got twenty minutes,” he said. “If it takes longer than that, you’re fending for yourself again.”

With my brows furrowed, I nodded ferociously. “Don’t you worry about that. I’m going to get this done in less than twenty minutes. And if not, what are you going to do? Leave me out in a snowstorm in a cabin which could collapse?”

Hardin scowled back at me, but behind it, there was a smile creeping in. He nodded, tipping his head before squashing it a little further on his head. “We’ll see,” he said. “I guess making sure you’re not injured goes as far as making sure you’re in a cabin that won’t be blown down.”

I hadn’t completely processed that Hardin would be coming inside the cabin, and I’d not kept it the cleanest. It’s partly why I was up and ready before he could knock and get a glimpse inside. He woke parts of my little side that could only be explored at night, when I was feeling a little more frisky and playful.

“You’ll have to take down the blanket fort,” his first words when he crossed the threshold into the cabin. “But it’s fine, there’s plenty more blankets at the house where you can build another, if that’s your thing.”

“My thing?”

“Oh, right, we’re still pretending that we don’t see the same thing in each other,” he said. “Same, but different, I suppose.”

My thighs and knees were already far too weak for this type of back and forth. He’d need to be straight up with me, I’d end up comatose on the ground from too much shock. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, everyone loves a blanket fort.”

His soft raspy voice rumbled from his throat. “Littles, especially.”

And there it was. My left knee almost gave out beneath me. He reached out and took my arm. “I—I—I” I pulled my arm away and screamed a little in my mouth. “How did you know?”

“Relax,” he said. “I kinda saw it from the day you arrived. The suitcase, I knew I’d seen some of designs before. And then, yesterday, I saw the coloring books, which everyone loves, so it wasn’t completely that. And then, the duckies in the bath. I heard you, but I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Oh my god,” my voice broke. “Guess you saw my briefs as well.”

He snapped his fingers then pointed directly at me. “That was it. The last part. I’m not mentioning it to make you feel uncomfortable. I’m mentioning it because I want to let you know that I understand.”

I pretended to look at a watch on my wrist. “You’re eating into those twenty minutes.”

“Well, that was my rule, so I can stretch it to thirty,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to pretend. Or you can pretend around me. And I feel like this was a bit of an ambush now.”

“It’s a weight off my shoulders, actually,” I told him. “But I’m freaking boiling up now. Guys don’t usually just tell me they’d been watching me or that they know who I am. So, it’s a bit weird, but not like bad weird. Weird like, I don’t know what to do with the information.”

Hardin had a little chuckle in the back of his throat. “You don’t have to do anything with the information,” he said. “I was mostly just hoping you’d feel more comfortable here. And, again, I’m clearly not doing that hard cowboy rep any favors.”

I didn’t know what it was he was trying to tell me. In my fantasy world, this is where he would then sweep me off my feet and kiss me. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen, my legs were not up for standing, let alone being swept off.

He clapped his hands together the once. “Now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get some of your stuff, and take it over.”

“So, what prompted all of that?”

“Break the ice,” he said. “Ice broken.” He made an explosion with his mouth. “Go on, pack a bag. I’ll deconstruct this mess of a fort you’ve got going on in here.”

All I really gleaned from what he’d told me was that we were going to build another fort, in fact, he said it was going to be a better fort, and I was very much looking forward to that in the nice, fancy house. I hurried as fast as my aching legs would take me to the bedroom. My teddies were there in the bed, comforted from the cold inside the thick duvet.

“Damn, you’ve made a mess,” Hardin called out.

“It’s not a mess,” I called back to him.

“No, I’m pretty sure this is a mess,” he said. “For an artist, I thought you’d take better care of your crayons.”

With my arms full of teddies, I walked out of the bedroom. Hardin had whipped back the blankets and bundled them into a large ball on the sofa. He stood over the so-called mess of coloring pages and crayons from within the former blanket fort.

“Those aren’t the crayons I use for art, they’re my little crayons. If you want to see my actual art, I can show you,” I said. “In my bag, I’ve got my comics. I’m not sure if you’re a big reader, so—”

“I’ll read ‘em,” he said. “Might get a deeper insight into who I’m sharing a house with. And fingers crossed you’re not an axe murderer.”

I scoffed, dropping the teddies onto the sofa. “I do not possess the upper body or core for those types of shenanigans.”

“I was kidding. I’d have figured that out already if you were.”

“You’d hope you’d have it figured out,” I said. “Wait until you read my comic books.”

He tilted his head and smiled. “You know, I’m actually looking forward to reading them. I wanna get an insight into what forced you all the way out here in the elements you’re not equipped to handle.”

Huffing as I leaned on the back of the sofa to take some of the pressure of my legs, I glared at him. “How long do you have?” I asked. “Because I can absolutely fill you in on why I’m here and all the shit that happened.”

This time, he tapped his wrist. “Not sure if you’d be able to make it quick.”

He was right. It wouldn’t be a quick story at all. I’d have to go in deep on my life and how the crushing success of a singular book had forced my brain into feeling like an absolute imposter. I bet he’d never been through anything like that before. Lucky him.

“Also, I expect an introduction to your friends later,” he said, nodding to the teddies on the sofa. “And you might not want to leave them laying around. The dogs will rip them to shreds.”

I clamored around to pull the teddies into my arms again. “Don’t you dare let them hurt my babies.”

“Can’t really control Pip, just gotta keep stuff out of his way,” he said. “Let’s get this stuff moved over before I change my mind.”

As much as he’d never admit to it, Hardin had a soft spot for me. It might’ve been because we were both gay and seemingly alone in the world, him physically and me by my own actions to isolate while recovering from a depressive creative burn out.

Together, we managed to take a bulk of my things. Hardin quipped about how it was only until the storm was happening, but he didn’t seem convinced by his words. Not that I had a problem with it, the main house was so much nicer.

Sully had this small tractor machine that threw out salt grit. It almost sounded like a salt grinder crunching it out as he drove. It looked more fun than riding on horses, but the idea of sitting on anything right now was painful.

Once my things were in the spare room, again, another wildly improved room from the one I was sleeping in. The mattress had layers, and when you sat on it, you didn’t feel your ass touching the wood support beams beneath it. I discovered the gift I’d bought for Hardin when I was in the convenience store on my way up with June. A magnet.

“I have something for you,” I called to him, stumbling out of the bedroom. My legs in the worst shape of their entire life.

Sully was standing in the kitchen with Hardin.

“You can take your coat off,” Sully said. “I’ve already done what I came up to do. Doubt you’ll be heading back out.”

Clutching the small paper bag, I just smiled.

“What is it?” Hardin asked.

I presented the bag to him. “It’s just something, as like a thank you for having me, I was gonna give you it when I arrived, but then you were kinda mean.”

He laughed. “I was saving your life.” He turned to Sully, explaining how I’d caused the snow to fall off the roof and how if I’d been under it, might’ve give me pneumonia. A new addition to the information he hadn’t mentioned earlier. “And I told you, I don’t need a gift.”

“Open it,” I said.

“Yeah, open it,” Sully said. “Or I will.”

Inside the bag, a small magnet. A magnet which I quickly noticed, he had similar ones of on the fridge door. “Guess you can never have too many of these.” He pressed it to a small empty space on the fridge.

“I’ll draw you something later, as well,” I added. “Something you can pin to the fridge.”

“Yeah, June was saying you’re an artist,” Sully said. “I’d love to—”

“I thought you were heading out,” Hardin grumbled. “The sky is getting a little dark out.”

Sully cussed but was out of the door nearly immediately. I looked to Hardin, wondering why he’d asked him to leave like that.

“Where’s this hot cocoa and marshmallows you were talking about?” he asked with a big smile. I guess that was the reason he wanted him to leave, so he didn’t have to show someone else how kind he actually was.