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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Selina

S elina hailed the first hackney she saw, her heart beating at a strangely steady pace given the circumstances. She had just given Sebastian Drake the very thing she’d sworn she never would.

Now, he had no need of her.

She had done it on her own terms, though. She had given it willingly, and a strange sense of liberation filled her.

For so long, she had let the weight of her wealth guide her decisions. She had been afraid of being wanted for it, afraid of trusting anyone because of it.

No longer.

As for Sebastian…

Her heart fluttered as she remembered the way he had looked at her in the courtroom.

She loved him. She would not deny that any longer.

She wanted him , though, not his gratitude or his sense of obligation toward her after her scandalous appearance in court. That was why she had left the chamber as quickly as possible after the decision by the Master of Rolls.

She did not regret what she had done, even if it did lead to scandal. Now that she was free of the hold of money upon her, she would not trade it for the stranglehold of reputation.

In allowing her to end the engagement on her terms, Sebastian had released her from any obligation toward him. She would do the same for him now. He owed her nothing. She had not done it for him. She had done it for the children and for herself.

Yes, she hoped that Sebastian loved her, but she would not assume anything. There was the real possibility that, now that he had what had drawn him to her in the first place, he would fail to see the purpose of her in his life.

If that was the case, well…she had survived heartbreak and adversity before, and she would manage to do so again.

She paused at the door of Number 14. The children would be there, of course, and they would be eager for news.

But it was not her news to give. Sebastian should be the one to tell them what their future held.

She opened the door quietly and put a finger to her lips to silence the footman who stood in the entry hall.

He nodded his comprehension, his gaze darting to the corridor behind him, where the muffled sounds of the children’s voices came from the sitting room.

“What are they doing?” Selina asked in a whisper.

“They are…uh…eating, ma’am,” said the footman.

Selina laughed softly. “Of course they are. I do not wish for them to know I have returned just yet. I shall go upstairs, but I expect Mr. Drake will call in the next hour or two.”

“Very good, ma’am.”

She picked up her skirts and took the stairs, wondering what she should do with her time. Write to her solicitor, certainly.

A muffled squeaking slowed her progress, however, and she stopped to listen.

A smile crept over her face as she located its origin—the closed door to her right.

She opened it slowly, and the squeaking stopped.

Pip appeared near the base of the door .

“Hullo, Pip,” she said. “Have you been relegated here while the children eat all the delicious food without you?”

He slipped through the opening and jumped onto her arm.

She looked at him with a cocked brow. “You take a great deal for granted, don’t you?”

His large, curious eyes stared back at her, and she thought back on when she had seen him at the pet shop. She had been so charmed at first. She had shortly realized, though, that however endearing his appearance, he was a creature of chaos, hell-bent on upending her life.

He and Sebastian had that in common.

She let out a resigned sigh, smiling slightly. “Very well. I could use the company, I suppose.”

She took him with her to her bedchamber, a thing she had never before done.

“It has been quite a day, Pip.” She let him crawl from her arm onto the escritoire.

“And it is not even midday.” She took a seat and moved to pick up the quill.

Her diamond ring caught on the light from the window, sparkling.

She stared at it, tilting it and watching it catch the light. Then, she removed it and set it on the desk.

Pip snatched it up, and Selina did not stop him.

“What do you think, Pip? Do I belong at Bedlam?”

He bit the ring, then seemed to decide against consuming it.

“If you are not at Bedlam,” she said, “ I do not belong there.”

“A matter for debate, I think.”

Selina swung around and found Sebastian leaning against the door. She could have sworn she had closed it.

Heart beating fit to burst through her chest, she stood and faced him. “You might have knocked.”

“I might have.” Using his shoulder, he pushed himself off the door and walked toward her. “But I did not. I am feeling impatient today.”

She recognized the same words she had used when she had unceremoniously burst into his bedchamber. It felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality, it had not even been a fortnight .

“What are you doing here, Sebastian?”

“What do you think I am doing here, Selina?” There was a light in his eyes that made her heart race.

She tried to step backward, but the chair was in her way. She gripped the top of it with her hands, glad for something to steady her.

“I think,” she said, “that you have come to thank me.”

He gave a little nod. “And?”

“And,” she continued, annoyed to find her voice breathless, “because you are concerned that my actions today have made me a target for Society gossip.”

“Ah,” he said, his gaze still fixed on hers from less than a foot away. “You believe I have come to save your reputation.”

“My reputation does not require saving, but yes, I imagine that is why you are here.” Before he could respond, she hurried on.

“Before you say anything else, you should know that providing for your siblings is only part of the plan that has been set into action. I mean to donate a large portion of my fortune to various charities.”

Sebastian’s eyes bored into her, making her entire body warm. He took a step even closer. He looked at her for a long second, taking her in like a man who hadn’t dared hope he’d see her again.

A sudden movement startled them both as Pip scrambled up the fabric of Sebastian’s arm until he found his perch on his shoulder.

Sebastian turned his head to look at the marmoset. “Impeccable timing, Pip.”

The monkey reached his small hands to Sebastian’s hair and began his usual grooming.

“I am sorry, old boy, but that will have to wait.” He strode toward the door, took the monkey from his shoulder, tossed him outside, and shut the door.

“Sebastian!” Selina cried. “You cannot let him loose in the house.”

“I can, and I did. Now”—he turned back to her—“where were we?” A mischievous light sparkled in his eyes as he took slow but purposeful steps toward her again, reminding her of that night in the music room. “Ah, yes. I think I remember.”

He returned to the place he had left, making her heart beat faster with every inch he drew closer, until she was obliged to lift her chin to meet his gaze.

“You were warning me,” he said, “that in coming here to save you, I would be attaching myself to a woman with a damaged reputation and little fortune to offer.”

“I also mentioned that I do not require saving?—”

“Perfect.” His hand stole around her waist and his body pressed against hers until the only thing within her view was his eyes.

“I have no intention of saving you from Society gossip, Selina, nor am I in a position to do so. My own reputation is hardly spotless, you may recall.” His other hand rose to her cheek, his eyes devouring hers.

“As for your money, you may donate every last penny of it, as far as I am concerned. Your wealth is by far the least interesting thing about you. I came here for one reason and one reason only.”

Her hands grasped the chair back within an inch of its life. “And what reason is that?” she managed.

“I came,” he said, “because, be we paupers or kings, I have no intention of living as much as a second of my life without you. You may send me home with a hundred Pips and a thousand dead pigeons to test the barriers of my love, but I swear to you, Selina, you will come away empty-handed, for those limits do not exist.” His eyes raked over her face for a moment, then found hers again, nearer than ever.

“You are more beautiful than any diamond.”

Selina’s chest tightened.

“But I have no wish for diamonds,” he said.

“I want a wife who will sit with me in the evenings and care for the children with me when they are unwell. I want a wife who will laugh with me and tell me when I am being pigheaded. I want a wife who knows how to shoot me with a double-barreled musketoon but chooses not to. In short…” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it .

When it came away, his eyes fixed on the finger, bare but ringed with red where the diamond had been.

His eyes met hers. “I want you , Selina Lawrence. Every bit of you. Have I made myself clear?”

She nodded. It was all she could do.

The space between their lips diminished as he whispered one final word. “Good.”

His lips covered hers, and her body sank into his, her fingers leaving the chair and finding his coat instead. They clutched at his lapels in ways no amount of ironing would ever fix.

It was not the tender, soft kiss of that night in the corridor.

It was the kiss of a man determined to make her understand he was not here because anyone or anything demanded it of him.

He was here to ensure she knew that he wanted her—and meant to keep her.

He was here to claim every part of her she was willing to give him.

Selina thought she had learned what it was to be truly kissed in that dark corridor, but she knew better now. Sebastian was intent to show her that there were as many ways to kiss her as there were beats of her heart, and she was more than willing to be shown.

His hand slipped from her cheek into her hair, threading through the curls at the nape of her neck, and her body trembled.

She pulled back, embarrassed at the reaction. “Forgive me.”