Page 34
He embraced each of them heartily, then stepped back and cocked his head to the side as he regarded Felix. The corner of his mouth quirked up, and he brushed at Felix’s collar, then straightened it. “I must have missed a delicious breakfast, based on the state of you and Hugo.”
“It was the best breakfast I have eaten in my life,” Felix said in a fervent voice.
“Mrs. Lawrence has the best cook in all of England,” Hugo affirmed.
Sebastian’s gaze flicked to Selina, whose heart shot into her throat.
His smile did not fade, precisely, but his expression grew a bit more watchful as he met her eye.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she replied with the best smile she could muster in her trembling state.
“Cook has certainly never had a more appreciative audience. In fact, if I am not mistaken, she spent the better part of last night preparing a little surprise for all of you. Though”—she waited until their excitement had dissipated enough for her to be heard—“she gave strict orders that Pip not be given any.”
“He shan’t have so much as a crumb,” Hugo promised, his devotion to the monkey disintegrating on the spot.
Sebastian’s eyes gleamed with amusement, which was snuffed out the moment they met Selina’s.
Suppressing a sigh, she walked over to the bell cord and gave it a tug. “Perhaps we could partake in the garden?”
Everyone was agreeable, so once the maid who responded to the summons had been given instruction, the five of them made their way there.
The children split ways to explore the space, but they beckoned to one another whenever they found something of interest.
“They have never seen such a well-manicured garden,” Sebastian explained, his arms crossed over his chest. “And certainly not one where they can roam free.”
Selina stole a glance at him from the corner of her eye. Phoebe had to be right. There must be any number of young women with enough money to solve Sebastian’s difficulties—heiresses ready and willing to faint into those strong, capable arms and stare into those warm, intelligent eyes.
Did he decline to pursue them now because he feared she would put a stop to it? Would she?
“Where did they journey from?” Her skin tingled with nerves at the prospect of Sebastian refusing to answer. He had said he preferred people not know of his siblings.
He glanced at her for a moment, his eyes searching hers briefly, then away again. “From Oxfordshire. They have been living under the guardianship of their uncle for some time.”
“ Their uncle,” she repeated.
“My father died when I was young, and my mother remarried a man named Henry Hollis a few years later—an acquaintance of my father’s, in fact. Margaret, Hugo, and Felix are their children.”
“So, they are only your half-siblings.” It was a statement rather than a question, spoken without thinking.
Sebastian turned his head to look at her. “Half-siblings or no, I love them just as dearly as you love your brother.”
“I did not mean to imply anything by it,” she clarified. “I am simply trying to understand the situation. I find it admirable that you take such an interest in them.”
He frowned. “If not I, who? I can assure you, their guardian does not care a fig for them. He has frittered away the money meant for their care on spirits and foolish wagers, just as his brother frittered away my fortune before him.” He turned his focus back to the children.
All this time, Selina had assumed whatever money he might have had had been mismanaged—used for gambling and tailors and heaven only knew what else. But that was not the case, it seemed. He had no money because his stepfather had spent it.
His next words came out softer, as though he was speaking them to himself. “And yet, somehow I am the one who must prove my fitness as a guardian.”
Selina’s focus became more intent. “It is their guardianship you seek?” So, it was not just money he needed.
“Yes.”
Selina did not reply, her mind whirring at the information.
After a moment, Sebastian continued. “The Court of Chancery would rather keep the status quo, be it ever so harmful to the children, than to consider a new situation with a relative who has no wealth but would do anything to make the children happy.”
Anything .
Fortune hunting included.
“I meant no offense with my comments,” Selina said. “They were my poor attempt at expressing admiration. Consider that I had no notion of any of this before.”
“You thought me selfish and money-hungry.”
“And how was I to know any different?”
He met her gaze with his frowning one, and she held it.
“The extent of my knowledge,” she said, “was that you were a fortune hunter who had asked a woman to marry him after but a week. And then you set your sights on me.”
His jaw tensed, but after a moment, he let out a sigh, his shoulders relaxing. “You are right, of course. Forgive me. I fear I am poor company today. I am sincerely grateful to you for taking in my siblings, particularly given…our situation. And I do owe you an explanation.”
She shook her head and opened her mouth to reply, but he put up a hand.
“I want to give it.” He stared her in the eyes, his gaze clear and direct. “I want you to know.”
She tried to breathe in evenly just as the door opened and the maid emerged with the platter of food.
Selina didn’t know whether to be glad or sorry for the interruption. “Shall we call them over?”
“No need,” Sebastian said with a half-smile she felt deep in her chest. “They can sense food from a mile.”
Sure enough, within seconds, the children came to claim their surprise—sandwiches and berry tarts.
“May we eat it in the garden?” Hugo asked, gathering up as many sandwiches as he could hold.
“Yes, may we?” Felix echoed. “Margaret says we should not bother you, for you and Mrs. Lawrence are to be married, and married people wish to be alone.”
Margaret’s eyes clenched in consternation. “Thank you, Felix . ”
“You may consume your treats wherever you like,” Sebastian said with amusement and a slightly heightened color.
Hugo graciously granted two of the sandwiches to Selina and Sebastian after being chided by his elder sister, and the three of them soon left to enjoy their plunder in the garden.
“The delights of receiving something given by force,” Sebastian said, inspecting the small triangular sandwich in his hand.
“It is no wonder they struggle with sharing food given the circumstances they have endured. They did leave me some breakfast, however.”
“Margaret’s doing, no doubt.”
“Perhaps so, for when I hadn’t the appetite to consume it, their charity also led them to volunteer their services in the eating of it.” She took a small bite through her smile.
Sebastian let out a chuckle. “Their selflessness knows no bounds. They will be sorely disappointed when they leave here.” He bit into the sandwich and shut his eyes in enjoyment.
Selina watched him, admiring the way the muscles in his jaw worked and how his lashes fluttered slightly.
Had he forgotten what they were speaking of before the children had interrupted? She was tempted to remind him, curious to hear what he had to say and what he wished for her to know.
He finished chewing, and his eyes opened slowly.
“My mother died when Felix was a baby, so I was raised helping to care for the three of them. But when their father died, I was only twenty—not yet of an age to be considered for guardianship. Even if I had been, it became clear that Henry had taken great liberties as my trustee, leaving me with a heavily indebted property that I was obliged to rent out at the soonest opportunity. The guardianship was granted to the children’s nearest relative of age: Henry’s brother, Edward.
He and Henry had never been on the best of terms, so while Edward resented and cordially disliked the children, he was pleased to have charge of the funds that came with the guardianship. ”
The muscles in his jaw feathered. “He was never particularly kind to them, but the mistreatment has grown worse over the years. I have always wanted to take over the guardianship, but my financial circumstances…” He broke off.
“Their situation grew more dire some weeks ago, which is when I became determined to do whatever was necessary to pursue it. That required proving my fitness, including an income to support taking in three children. Edward does not have that, of course, but because he was appointed by the Court and I am the one petitioning, I must show it for my petition to find success.” He lifted his shoulders.
“After so many years of trying to build something out of what was taken from me unjustly, failing to make a living in the church due to my lack of connections, and watching fortunes trade hands at the gaming table or the altar, I came to the conclusion that the only way to protect my siblings was to play the game everyone else was playing. The only way I could see forward was to marry money.”
Selina could not keep her eyes from him as she listened. How had she misjudged him so fully?
“Miss Fernside was the first heiress I came upon after making my decision. I was foolish and barely took care to hide my true motives. You know what came of that. I went to Markston’s garden ball with the intent of finding a suitable woman to pursue.
But this time, I would take care. Yorke and Fairchild pointed out several options, but”—he shook his head—“something in me revolted at the idea. I had no desire to prey upon a naive young heiress, fresh to the ton . I suppose it soothed my writhing conscience to avoid such options. But neither could I bring myself to marry solely for money. That was when they mentioned you.”
His gaze rose to hers, and though he looked at her, she was certain he was seeing not her but the memory of that night.
“You were a widow and had come by your fortune through marriage—the ideal situation for my conscience. How could you fault me for doing the exact thing you had done, after all?” His eyes glazed over as he continued.
“And then I saw you, and your beauty stole my breath. But you were so much more than beautiful.”
Selina’s heart thudded painfully.
“You were intelligent and amusing and capable…” His eyes searched hers. “You intrigued me for reasons I could not understand. I began to wonder if perhaps I might have more with you than a match driven solely by my need for money.”
She could hardly breathe, hanging on the edge of each word.
“But I was mistaken.” He turned his gaze away.
Selina’s chest twisted, throbbing until she feared her ribs would snap.
“If nothing else,” Sebastian said, “I hope knowing this will help you understand that I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know that now,” she said quietly. And yet she was hurting.
She was hurting because of her own choices and folly, left to wonder what might have been if she had not been so determined to think the worst of Sebastian.
She had let her assumptions and her mistrust lead her into betraying the worst parts of herself. She had created more pain for a man and three innocent children already suffering.
“Is there anything I can do?” she asked.
“You are already doing more than you should be.”
“I could do more,” she said, “even if it is waiting to spread news of the end of our eng?—”
“No.” The word was blank, firm.
She swallowed. He wanted to be done with her as soon as possible. “Will the scandal not harm your petition with the Chancery?”
His jaw tightened. “I will manage. You need not worry your head over it. I did not tell you any of this to elicit sympathy. You are at liberty to make known the end of the betrothal as you see fit. I intend to tell the children today. They are becoming attached to you, and after all they have endured, it seems cruel to let them continue believing a lie. ”
She wanted to stop him, to say his name or reach for his hand. But the wall between them had been built brick by careful brick—and she had laid too many of them herself.
All she could manage was a nod.
Table of Contents
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