Page 65 of Till Death

He shifted forward, right back into my comfort zone, resting a hand on the wall beside me, his body so warm against mine, I had to remind myself I hated him as he smirked. “Feeling warmer, Wife?”

I faltered for a second, realizing I’d played right into his hands. Baring my teeth, I snapped. “I hate you.”

He leaned forward, his cheek pressed against my temple as the deep timbre of his voice raced down my spine. “I hate you, too.”

I pushed him away again. “I don’t think you do. I think you enjoy this game of cat and mouse. Every conversation is a battle, and every interaction is infuriating. You could try being nice, for once.”

“I just handed you my jacket. I let you stay at my house.”

I snorted. “The house you try to force me to stay inside?”

“The house that keeps you away from everyone that would rather see you dismembered than lurking on the streets.”

“Because everyone thinks I’m out here murdering people because I want to.”

His jaw tightened. “And why is that?”

“You’re wrong.” My hands shook. From the anger or the cold, I wasn’t sure. “I’ve never killed a single person because I wanted to. I didn’t ask for this. And the worst thing you can do is lock me away. If that were the answer, I’d still be rotting in my father’s dungeon.”

He faltered, but only for a second.

“You don’t understand, and you never will. I can’t stop it. If the power takes over, I will claw my way out of a prison. I’ll tear the skin from my bones without a coherent thought in my mind to get to Death’s victim. I will rip off my own arms. I’ll fade into madness and kill everyone I can find until the name I’m given is dead. This magic is a burden. It’s devastation. It’s cruelty. And if I could stop it, I would. But Death’s will trumps everything…” I paused, debating the vulnerability I didn’t want to show. But I was weak. “And your hatred of me makes it ten times worse. I know it means nothing to you, but we are bound. And everyone else in my life is dead. It doesn’t have to be this way.” My voice broke on that final word. “I’m tired, okay? Just leave me alone.”

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at him. “I didn’t know.”

Breaking free of his grip, my shoulders fell. “Of course, you didn’t. You never asked. You just assumed. Like everyone else. Just because Paesha and Althea had a choice with their magic before Drexel trapped them doesn’t mean I do.”

“Tell me why you came here. Why did I chase you all the way from Perth?”

I thought maybe a little truth would make him hate me less. Casting my eyes to the ground, I dug a toe into a groove between two carefully placed bricks that made up the tunnel floor. “I’m searching for the Life Maiden.”

He barked a laugh, but when my head snapped up and I glared, he covered his mouth. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. Sorry.”

Tiny wrinkles around his eyes betrayed his hidden smile. If he carried any guilt about hoarding secrets, about the missing power, they didn’t show on his face at all. In fact, the surprise had cast further doubt on my initial assumption about him. The idea was so far-fetched. How could harboring life power make him a killer? How would the Maestro possibly have the sway to change magic? I was wrong. I’d have to start over, which made me bitter.

“What good are you doing for the world, Orin Faber? Tied to a man who collects people as servants and trades away children who trust him? And don’t tell me that’s not what happened with Quill. There’s no way she was taken under everyone’s nose without Drexel having something to do with it.”

He stopped for a moment; the wrinkles vanished as his hand dropped from his face. Amber eyes searched mine for something I didn’t think he’d find.

Eventually, he spoke, softer, more genuine, peeling away a layer of his mask. “I never claimed him to be a hero. If I could be free of him, I would be.”

He rolled the sleeves of his collared shirt as if he’d needed a distraction. Those two bands, one that belonged to me and one to Drexel, sat like weights around his wrist. He rubbed them as if it would make them go away. But, of course, it didn’t. I searched the muscles of his forearm, wondering if I’d see those black veins again or if it was a tattoo, and my mind had only played tricks on me, but nothing else marked his arms.

“I know you gave your freedom for your mother’s. That’s the only thing that allows me to close my eyes at night, knowing I sleep near a monster.”

Bending down, he picked up the jacket from the floor and swiped a hand down it to clean the mud. “She told you?”

“She did,” I said, leaning back against the wall for only a second before I remembered it was freezing cold.

“She’s never been good with orders.” A genuine smile lit his face, and it was the most handsome thing I’d ever seen. A moment of amenability before his gaze cut to mine, and he turned, brushing away the moment. “You might as well give up searching for the Life Maiden and focus on the missing people instead. If Paesha can’t find her, there’s no way you will. And the Maestro has commanded it, so it’s not like she’s giving a halfhearted effort. She has no choice.”

“But why wouldn’t she be able to find her?”

“Because she’s never seen her, she doesn’t have a name to hunt. She has no connection to her. You could tell her to find a red bootlace and she’d have it in less than three minutes. But with no point of reference, there’s nothing for the magic to cling to.”

“Wait. Missing people?”

“You don’t know?”