Page 124 of Till Death

Orin left me standing at the door to move a chair out of the way in order to squat right in front of Quill. Her curious features became somber as Thea set Boo on her lap. She looked carefully around the room, taking in each face until the pieces fell into place.

“Where’s Hollis?” she asked, her tiny voice slicing every heart in the room to pieces.

Orin patted her knee. “Do you remember on your birthday last year when Hollis made you that beautiful green gown and told you it was because the color reminded him of his wife’s favorite color?”

She nodded slowly, swallowing.

“And how he missed his wife so much sometimes it made him really sad?”

Another small nod.

Orin’s breath was shaky; his eyes never left hers though, even when a tear slipped silently down Paesha’s cheek. “Hollis is with his wife now, Quilly.”

You could have heard a pin drop anywhere in the city as every person in the room stared into the face of that little girl. I held my breath, guilt crashing over me in waves when tear-filled eyes flashed to me.

“No.” Her tiny word was so quiet at first, I’d questioned whether she’d spoken at all. Until she repeated herself. “No!” She pushed Boo from her lap, jumping from the couch to stand in front of me. She knew, of course. As far as she was concerned, only I had the power to do it.

“Say he’s lying,” she demanded.

“I wish I could.”

Tiny hands struck me as she shoved and shoved. I hardly moved, but she screamed, the sadness so raw, I let myself fall to the floor, if only to be on her level.

“He was our family,” she yelled. “He was mine, and you took him.”

“I promise I didn’t mean to.”

She crashed into me, trying to push me away. I sat there on the floor, letting her. Willing myself to feel and take her pain, though I knew it would never be enough. An ache grew so heavy in my chest that when my nose stung and my tears came, I didn’t bother trying to hide any of it, not even in a room full of people that hadn’t moved.

“I’m so sorry, Quilly.”

“I hate you. You’re not my family, Deyanira.”

“Quill,” Orin whispered.

The little girl spun, took one look at him, and began to wail. My throat turned to sandpaper, refusing to let me swallow. I’d never forgive myself for taking him from her. No matter what pain it’d saved the world, it wrecked hers, and that was a permanent scar on my heart. This was an agony I couldn’t save any of us from.

Elowen carried Quill to a room in the back of the apartment, Boo following close behind. I stood, aiming for the door, but Orin caught my hand.

I jerked away, broken and angry all over again. “Don’t touch me.”

“Deyanira,” Paesha said, as if she had some kind of say over me.

I shook my head, unable to see any of them beyond the tears flooding my eyes. “What kind of a monster does that to a child?”

I walked out of the apartment completely destroyed.

I stared out over the city of Silbath, watching her come alive as the moon trekked across the sky, coaxing the seedy underbelly from its chambers, pulling the sprawling masses of sinners to their perches. Night workers took their corners, bathed in glowing streetlamps, stomping their high heels until the rats scattered and birds cawed in defiance.

Drinkers fell into step, headed toward the taverns and opium dens as if in a hypnotic state; some limped, and some were missing limbs. The signs of Requiem’s deterioration shown on their bodies like sequins in a spotlight. This was my world. This was where I belonged.

“I know you’re there,” I said, balancing Chaos on my finger, flipping it back and forth and letting myself get lost in the muscle memory.

“Why do you always run to the rooftops?” Orin asked, stepping from the shadows to swipe Chaos from my grip.

“Solitude.”

“You can’t just escape this, Wife.”