Page 130 of Till Death

“I told you. I thought you had a choice, just like I do. And with the people that are missing, it just made sense that you were killing them. But I never meant to hate you, Deyanira. Not one day. When the darkness sinks in, it makes me hate everything. Even my own mother. And unless I’m with you, every day is a chore.”

I shook my head, pulling away. “What do you mean, unless you’re with me?”

He shifted closer, taking my hand, stroking a thumb over my knuckles as he cast his eyes to the floor. “That night in your room… I wasn’t there to marry you. I was there to kill you.”

A single sharp breath hissed between my teeth. “But I thought your uncle forced you to marry me.”

Ro cleared her throat. “Be careful what truths you seek. Some are harder than the lies you find so comfortable.”

“Stay out of this,” I ordered, eyes like daggers as I threw a glare at her, pulling away from Orin again.

“Deyanira.”

“No. You don’t get to do anything but tell the truth. If one more lie slips from those lips… so help me gods…”

“My uncle had nothing to do with me marrying you. That’s why he punished me during every show. Icharius was pissed, but the boss was furious. He’s always called the shots and pulled the strings on the streets, and I slighted him.”

“Tell me why, Orin. Why did you marry me?”

He looked at Ro, so much anguish on his face it physically broke me. But rather than respond, she simply stood and left the room. Likely seeking the drink she’d hoped for at the beginning of this.

My heart wasn’t ready. My mind wasn’t. Not for him to stand, take a knee before me, and drop his head. “I’ll never be able to redo that day. And in many ways, I’m not sorry for it. You’ve been my match and my balm. The only thing I have ever truly needed in this world.”

“Enough with your pretty words.” I slipped Chaos from my thigh on instinct, bringing the blade below his chin to force his eyes to mine. “Tell me why you married me.”

He swallowed, never moving away from my dagger, letting it nick his neck rather than allow a sliver of more space between us. Holding eye contact, he shrugged out of his coat, rolling the sleeve of his shirt to show me the black veins creeping down his muscled forearm. Slowly, he used his other hand, sliding it over my wrist. The darkness faded, accompanying my gasp.

“When I kill, it stays the magic. But when I touch you, it recedes. I accidentally grabbed you that night, and it changed everything. I didn’t know what else to do. It was death or marriage once you woke, and… I’m sorry.”

The betrayal was more lethal than the knife in my hands. Inch by inch, I felt the crack and then the shatter of my heart. Everything had been a lie, and he carried that willingly. The threat of tears burned like acid, their scalding trails etching the painful truth deeper into my wounded soul.

“You could have told me so long ago.” I ground my teeth together, letting anger cover the sadness. “You let me be the fool in front of everyone. Did they all know?”

He nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek, landing on the cold, unforgiving steel of the knife pressed against his throat. “Not about the murders, but they knew about the madness.”

“That’s why they let me stay,” I whispered, the blade dropping to the floor. “It’s all been a façade. Even Quill? And Hollis? Gods, tell me Ro didn’t send you to kill me.”

He opened his mouth to speak and quickly closed it. And that was all the confirmation I needed. She wasn’t perfect, but she was all I had then. And even she had wanted me dead.

I ran until I couldn’t hear him calling my name anymore. Until the shadows were no longer a comfort to me, and the rain had soaked through every layer of clothing I’d worn. Until the crows scattered at my presence and the rats hid among the alleyways. And in that moment, pausing at the end of a street I hardly recognized, I realized I was truly alone, with nothing but my slain trust and the bitter taste of a life I once thought I knew.

How could I go back? How could I look any of them in the face knowing what they’d all been hiding? I’d freed them. I was willing to be imprisoned by a man I thought to be the greatest villain of this world… and for what?

I wasn’t sure when my tears ran out and only rain fell upon my skin. Soaked to the bone and weary, I wandered aimlessly, so lost in my own misery, I let my guard down. So much that I hadn’t noticed the looming silhouette of a broad man standing beneath the glow of the streetlamp, nor the cane planted into the ground to steady him.

“Is our precious Death Maiden in distress?” The squeaking of Drexel’s leather gloves gripping his cane tighter felt like its own kind of warning.

I said nothing, unable to conjure the anger swelling within me any more than the numb sadness. He stepped closer, the clack of his walking stick muted by the sodden cobblestones.

“I know you think I’m a scoundrel, Deyanira, but I am a giving man. Tell me what you want in this world, and I will see it done. There are no limits to my power.”

Ice filled my veins. “I want nothing from you. I can’t be bought.”

He chuckled, the deep red curl of his mustache bouncing with the sound, mimicking the scar on his face. “Everyone has a price.”

For a second, I wondered if I did. If there was anything this man could do to take away the betrayal wreaking havoc within me. But I knew better. I knew he would only see that pain tripled in size. He was everything I thought he was, including Orin’s scapegoat. And I hated him with such a visceral passion, I couldn’t see past the red lining the edges of my vision. Serenity was a cool comfort in my hand as I charged for him, stopping only a single step away. “Tell me the price for your life, Maestro.”

He lifted his cane, attempting to swipe my blade away, but I grabbed the end and jerked him forward until he sat at the edge of Serenity. Again, he smiled, his jagged scar setting me on edge. I’d never looked at the man as anything more than a villain, but in this moment, as he faced his own death, he was attractive in his own right. Rough, confident, everything a man should and shouldn’t be in one single package. I could see a hint of Orin behind those eyes. Even a dash of Elowen on his face. He’d been only a person once, until this world twisted him into something far more vile.