Page 146 of Till Death

He screamed my name until his voice grew hoarse. Each syllable paired with a tear on my cheek. Because I wanted him just as fiercely as he wanted me. And somehow, as if the temple bent to the will of Death, the giant willow shuddered, and the door came down in a thud.

He didn’t stand there by magic or illusion. He was real.

“Why?” he demanded, storming into the room, nearly swallowed by his own darkness. The veins on his body had crept up his neck, kissing his jawline. His eyes were wholly black, and each breath was a tidal wave of fury. “You left me. You just fucking left me lying in our bed.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered before another vision of his death flashed before my eyes. Just a throat slice this time, silencing him.

You. Not Death. Not madness. You want him. You need him. You fight.

The poisonous thoughts were mine. My thoughts. Mine. Every choice. Every gasp. Every death. Every drop of blood. I wanted this. I craved this. I needed death. His end. Him. The satisfaction. The pleasure. The pride. The weapon. The blood. The blood.

The blood.

“Stay away.”

At my words, he dashed forward. “Fight it, Deyanira.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, feeling the tic in my neck as I yanked on the chains. “You have to leave.”

Kill.

“Now, Orin.”

“I need you. Every second of my life, I need you. Not because of the power. Because I love you. My world doesn’t exist without you in it.”

The blood.

“Stop it,” I commanded the voices, trying to cradle my own head, though I couldn’t reach beyond the chains. “It’s too loud.”

“Dey.” He took a step toward me. “I won’t let this happen.” Another step. “I know what this feels like.” Again, a step.

“Orin, please. Don’t make me your murderer.”

“I am not afraid to wait for you in eternity, love.”

“Stay away from me.”

“If there’s a single part of your heart that convinces you that I’d sit back and let you suffer for the rest of your life just to spare me the passing of mine, you don’t know the depth of my love for you.” He moved before me, so close I could feel him and every bit of the tiny inch that remained between us.

“I need you to be an illusion. Please don’t do this.”

He reached for the chains attached to my feet first. That deep bevy of power rumbled through the temple, until the tree shriveled, the pulse of whatever remained within it cowering at Orin’s magic.

My heart did not beat. Seconds did not pass. Everything stood still as that beautiful man fell to his knees before me and lifted Chaos like an offering, his head bowed. “My life was yours the second I met you, Deyanira. Take it and free yourself.”

A terror like none I’d ever known overcame me. I could feel the madness within me, the malevolent power, clawing at the edges of my consciousness, trying to take control. My body convulsed, the edges of my vision turning an ominous shade of black.

I gasped for breath, feeling the struggle within me intensify.

The blade. The blood. The gasp. Ours. Mine. His.

I reached for that fucking blade, having no control over my movements. Not an ounce. I didn’t want to feel the cool metal. I didn’t want to remember the way the grooves dug into my hands.

“Please run,” I whispered, limbs shaking as I fell to the floor before him, knees touching.

But he met my eyes fearlessly, every bit of fight I’d known him to harbor gone. “I will not. You fight it, Deyanira. Fight it or let it take me because I refuse to be the reason you suffer.”

“How can you not see putting your death in my hands is no different?” I tried to swallow, but the lump in my throat had grown sharp, the few breaths I could manage, a chore.