Page 121 of Till Death

She shook her head, trembling as she searched his eyes. “Hollis?”

He nodded, catching her before she hit the floor. Her wail broke the last string of composure I’d held on to. I’d done this. Not just to them, but to every person I’d killed. I didn’t think I could hate a single person more than I hated Death, but I was wrong. I hated myself so much more.

Stumbling down the hallway, I tried so hard to keep the tears I didn’t deserve from burning my eyes. I crashed into a picture but caught it before it hit the floor. These were Paesha’s precious memories. The last she had of a lover I’d taken, as well. Gritting my teeth, I rehung the frame, just to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror hanging beside it. I looked like hell. I felt like hell. I wanted to plant a fist into the godsdamned glass as punishment to myself.

When the reflection rippled, I swallowed past the lump in my throat, shaking my head. “Not now, Ro.”

But again, the glass rippled.

“If you get to pick the times, so do I.”

I walked the rest of the way down the narrow hall, careful to avoid the paintings as I stepped into the room I’d had the night before. I needed to be alone. Not just in this moment, but forever. I needed to get away from everyone. They were free now. I’d done what I could.

But Quill was missing, and I couldn’t slip away until I knew she had been found.

The room, once a stranger’s sanctuary, had become a prison for my guilt and grief. The candlelight cast dancing shadows on the walls, eerie figures that seemed to mirror the torment within my soul. I’d been so lost in my own misery, when the bed sank beside me, I jumped. Orin’s large hand closed over mine, but I pulled it away.

“If I could spare you the burden of our bonded marriage, I would, but I can’t stay here.” A shuddered breath rattled through me. “I’m never going to look at you and not see his face. I’m never going to be able to sleep in that house and not hear his laughter. He was the first person that didn’t judge me, even when he had the most reason to. I can’t imagine what it will be like for you. To even sit beside me must…”

“Ask me what I want before you run, Deyanira.”

I managed a glance at his pained face before I couldn’t hold the stare.

“I’m sorry about Hollis. I’m sorry about who I am.”

“I know it hurts, but our hearts will heal. And what we choose to do from this day forward will always be because of those moments on the stage. I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry your life is full of suffering. But it doesn’t have to be.”

We sat in silence for so long I thought we might never speak again. My throbbing heart had slowed. My anger numbed as I considered what my future would really look like. How things had changed in an instant. Not just for me, but for everyone I cared about.

“I thought you had a choice, Dey,” Orin said, finally. “I thought Death delivered the name, and the deed was done by will alone. And I was so angry. I blamed you for Ezra. And for the others. I thought if we could keep you in, then none of us would live in fear of your power. I was trying to save the world from you when really, I should have been saving you from me.”

“Thea’s here.” Elowen’s soft tone was full of sorrow as her gentle knock on the door broke the desperate spell over us.

Orin helped me stand, holding my hand and never letting it go as he pulled me toward the hall. I glanced up at the mirror as we passed, and it shimmered again. Faltering for a second was all the hesitation he needed to jerk around, just to make sure I wasn’t doubting the promises he’d just made.

“I have an idea,” I said. “But I’ll have to do it alone.”

“No.”

“Orin…”

“No is a complete sentence, and that’s my answer.”

I tugged him back toward me, pushing him against the wall. “You do not get to say such lovely things one moment and command me the next.”

His fingers trailed up my skin, grazing my jawline before he leaned in, whispering, “Remember you said that.”

I gripped the collar of his shirt. “It’s Ro. I’m sure of it.”

His eyes turned dark as he considered my words. “Ro wouldn’t have taken Quill, Deyanira. She’s not on their side.”

“No. I don’t think she is. But I think that’s why Paesha can’t find her. Ro’s hiding her.”

A line formed between his brows. “How’s Ro going to hide Quill in Perth?”

He clearly didn’t know about her mirrors. And I wasn’t sure what to do with that. I didn’t want to lie, but her truth was not mine to tell.

“How many hidden tunnels are there under these cities?” I asked.