Page 37

Chapter 36

Tyler

S he’s staring at my fish tank. My fish tank that she outed to the world.

Even this morning, as we boarded the bus to the airport, both Bryan and Reid commented on it. They’ve been to my house to pick me up, but neither has been inside. And while they don’t follow Lily’s author accounts, their wives do, and Camille and Lexi both gushed over the fish tank, wanting to know if they could come over and see it. I gritted my teeth as I told them of course. Telling them no would have been rude. After all, I do call them friends.

“I know I said you could live here, but in the course of like a week of us sleeping together, it feels like everything's changed. I understood Morgan coming here. After all, she is your friend, and it’s not realistic to think that you can never invite anyone over, but I thought I was very clear about my privacy. No pictures. Ever. Unless I approved them beforehand.”

Her eyes are glassy, and I know I’ve yo-yoed her emotions, but I just can’t help it. I’m hurt too, and I’m angry and confused. If I lay out all of these incidents in front of me, I feel like I have a right to question her. I let her in, and it feels a lot like I’m being used or played, even if that’s not her intention. But then again, how do I know?

“I wasn’t aware she took them. I’m sorry,” she says, moving into the living room to grab her phone. I watch as she walks back toward me and hits the three little dots in the corner so I know she’s deleting the post. She lays her phone on the island and looks up at me. She’s distraught, I can see it, but she did this to herself.

“How did you not know? You must have let her into the house. Were you not with her the whole time?”

“She did come in for about an hour after we got back from the beach. I told you that.”

She did, but it never occurred to me that I needed to be concerned about what the two of them would be doing. For some reason in my mind, they were sitting in the living room chatting as friends do, or drinking cups of coffee so Morgan was fueled for the road, I don’t know. I just didn’t think they would be taking photos with the intent to share them with the world.

I take a breath as I look around my house. My house, which is my sanctuary. I love everything in here. I love the couch, the colors, the decor that most of I picked out myself, even the backsplash of tile. It’s then I see the pot on the stove and register the smell. It smells Mexican, which means she made me tortilla soup after I mentioned craving it before I left.

Why does she make me these things? It feels very reminiscent of Marissa and how she knew exactly what to do or say to make me fall for her. All these months, I was feeling special, but now I feel deceived. Actually, I just feel confused because as much as the devil on my shoulder is saying she meant to do this, the angel on the other side is saying, “You know her true self.”

“And what, you said, go ahead and take as many pictures of Tyler’s house and his things as you want?”

Her cheeks flush a deep pink. “No. I didn’t tell her anything. I didn’t think I had to. Again, I told her months ago that you were very serious about privacy. I took a call in my room from the bookstore in New York. She must have taken them then.”

My gaze is sharp.

“Lily, you were in one of them.”

“Yeah, the back of me was. I showed her around downstairs, and she asked to see the boat. I didn’t really think to tell my best friend no. I trust her.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t.”

I hear the small uptake of air as she sucks it in. She’s staring at me as if she doesn’t know what to say, and I can’t decide if that screams guilty or innocent. When Marissa was first outed, she played up the victim card. She begged, pleaded, and cried to pull on my heartstrings, and she did. It was difficult to see through her bullshit because I had loved her. At least I thought I had. Can you even call what I felt love if the person wasn’t real? If they faked everything? But then, she switched to anger when she didn’t get her way. She was pissed. She called me every name under the sun and said some horrible things to me about the people and the things I hold in high regard.

It was damaging.

Obviously, I’m still damaged. Just the slightest bit of vulnerability with Lily has sent me spiraling into someone I don’t recognize. What I can’t determine is if I have a reason to be spiraling or if I’m overreacting.

“What about buying the flowers? Why are they here? That’s three rules broken in a week, when you didn't break any over the past few months.”

She sniffs and wraps her arms around her middle. She stood like this earlier and I understand it’s a defensive position, but she has some explaining to do. “I promise it’s all coincidental.”

“Coincidental.” I narrow my eyes. “That seems to be the word of the hour. You must know I’ve thought of every scenario imaginable until now. That flight was the longest flight I’ve ever been on.”

She drops her arms and sways toward me. Her beautiful turquoise eyes flash with a second of hope. “Okay. Talk to me about these scenarios. Please. I want to ease your mind of any worries that you have about me. I promise all of this is some kind of terrible misunderstanding.”

A misunderstanding. Is it, though?

“I guess the one thing that I keep going back to is, isn’t it convenient that as soon as my season started, and your book was about to be done, you suddenly wanted to come to my games.”

Her brows pull down. “What do you mean?”

“You never wanted to leave the house. I tried for a long time, and then all of a sudden, one day you declared you wanted to come to my games. You get your picture taken by the media, your name is everywhere, and this just happens to be at the same time you’re getting closer to being done with this new book, and when you decide to go public with your author name.”

“Those two things don’t have anything to do with each other. I wanted to go to your games so I could be there for you. That’s what friends do. They support each other. Are you actually trying to claim that I schemed or somehow premeditated this? That I’m only here to use you?”

“I mean, it’s realistic to think that when you go to that signing, and people finally see who you are, of course, you’ll get a spike in sales. That should be expected. You’ve been making internet waves with me over the last month. You wouldn’t have been a headline otherwise. Why you think this won’t happen is ridiculous.”

Lily’s eyes widen, they instantly fill with tears, and her nose turns red as she stares at me. My words hit their target just like I knew they would, and she had an instant visceral reaction. I’ve thrown that one thing that she’s worried about the most in her face, and at this moment, I know I’ve gone too far. I can’t take it back, and a wave of shame damn near knocks me over. I’m not even sure why I said it since deep down, I don’t believe it. I just wanted to touch every scenario, like she said, and I wanted to see her reaction. Well, she’s giving me one.

Lily takes a step away from me, and I feel like I’m watching every bit of confidence we’ve built up in her over the past couple of months slip away. As she exhales, her shoulders droop, her chin drops, and then her eyes, as the tears slowly roll down her face. She’s looking at the floor, and for some reason, this makes her look smaller.

I did this. I made this person—one who I secretly claim to love—feel self-conscious and cry. I hurt her because I was hurt, and my eyes burn along with hers.

“Why am I not allowed to be somebody?” she says quietly, shaking her head. And then she pins me with a glare so vehement, I brace myself for what’s coming. “I’ve worked my ass for years building up my pen name and my business. What’s ridiculous is that you and Dean both think my success is or will somehow be because of you. That I’m mooching or freeloading apparently my life and my fame. Well, news flash, Tyler, I’m already very successful, and I don’t need anything from anyone, without showing my face. I make six times what I made working for the Destroyers, and neither of you can or will ever take that from me.

“I get it, you have deep-rooted issues. I’m sorry that Morgan took and posted those pictures, but I haven’t done anything. Those girls, the pictures, even the flowers, which were sent to me by Lance and Casey as congratulations for my book signing this weekend, none of that was me going out of my way to”—she air quotes—“break your rules.”

Lance and Casey.

Well, this just pisses me off too because I didn’t think to get her anything to celebrate this weekend, and I should have.

“Then why did you give Morgan my cell phone number?”

She jerks back. “I didn’t give her your number.”

“Oh, really?” I dig out my phone, turn it on, and pull up the text.

Morgan: Hey, it’s Morgan. Just thinking outside the box here, but I’m always needing content for Lily’s social pages. If you see her doing something worthy of posting, can you please send it to me? I’ll take anything, but maybe something like her on the boat or on your couch typing. I’d appreciate it. Thanks!

Lily’s jaw drops.

“I had no clue she was going to ask you this.”

“At this point, does it even matter?” I cross my arms back over my chest, and the two of us stare at each other. Tears continue to drip down her face, and as for mine, I refuse to let them drop. I should be making this better. I should be apologizing for things I accused her of. I knew back in the hotel room that I didn’t have the full picture, but the anxiety took over, and now here we are. My chest aches, my heart is sore, and my pride has me acting like a fool.

Her chin quivers. “I guess it doesn’t. Just like those girls in the elevator and everyone else in your world, it doesn’t matter what I say. You’ve made up your mind about me.”

With that, she turns, grabs her phone, and walks away.